I have never witnessed true beauty until I first laid eyes upon you.

Dear Jessica,

I admit to you that you are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life. You have single handed changed my perception on the way I see beauty.
Your hair is fantastic. I love the many styles that you can really pull off; the tight bun in particular. Your face is as beautiful as a million foxes. I love staring into your dark beautiful eyes. I can sometimes get lost in your timeless eyes. Your nose is almost as cute as you are. Your lips are the most kissable lips, they are my favourite lips. I can kiss your lips all day, everyday. They are the only lips that make me happy.
Your smile is the greatest smile in the world. Never have I ever melted from a smile but you changed that. From your awkward smile to your "I love you so much," smile, I always melt inside. Your face is the warmest face to hold, to which I love holding. I love hearing your voice, your voice is like home to me.
Your neck is very great for kissing and giving hickies. I love giving you hickies. As well, you have a nice thin neck that girls would **** to have. Your shoulders are my favourite place, after your thighs, to rest my head on. May you have your scars on your shoulder, I will always accept you and love you no matter what. You have the most perfect *****. Your ***** are exactly the perfect size that I would like ***** to be. You also have nice ******* which in really greatful for. Your belly button is my favourite belly button and I love tickling it and kissing it. Your hands. Your hands are perfect fit for mine. Holding your hand is like putting on a glove that fits so well and feels so nice and warm. I love holding your hand. I use these hands for my basic survival and so do you and the fact that we take a moment to stop all that and connect with each other, it's so lovely. I've never felt so happy holding someone so closely by my side and showing them off to the world, having the world know that you're all mine. Your ****** is the greatest source of pleasure in the world, 'nuf said.
Your thighs are my favourite place to rest my head on. Your knees are so perfect and pure, I'm jealous. Your feet are so warm and precious when you put them up to mine for warmth when we're cuddling.
Jessica, you are the most amazing person in the world. There is no one I'd rather have.
You are so caring; you care about me, you worry for me, you actually take interest in what I have to say. You are alwaaays there for me; may it be something that you have no interest in or if I'm feeling insecure, I know that you'll always be there for me and will always listen. I don't know how you do it, but you put up with all my ****; I know I haven't been the greatest person to you at times and the fact that you go beyond that and still love me with all your heart just makes me melt completely. As well, you actually want to be apart of my life, doing everything with me, just being closer to me.
You honestly do so much for me, I sometimes don't even realize it to be honest. You are the greatest girlfriend that I've ever had, you are the greatest girlfriend that anybody would be lucky to have.
Jessica, you are so amazing. You're such a great painter and you're such a nice person. You have like the nicest style. You're also the smartest girl I've ever been into/dated. You're reallly smart. You think you're sometimes not that smart, but you're actually really smart.
I just want you apart of my life completely.
I love cuddling with you. That connection that we have, just laying together in each others' arms, it's so magical. I feel like I'm in another world when I'm with you. You've honestly made me a better man. I love spending time with you. We've been through soo much together, I can happily say that I am ready to spend the rest of my life with you. We also are so perfect for each other. May we not have exactly the same interests,  we have soo many things in common. And it's the fact that we're so different that makes me so attracted to you. I don't want another me, I want a Jessica. I'm so happy to have you, I'm the lucccckiest guy in the world to have you as my own forever. All those resteraunts we go to, all our little dates at my house, all the times we go to that park near your house, it's just so perfect.
I'm truly in love with you.
I know we've had our mistakes and issues in the past, but I promise that I will do whatever to fix our relationship because I value and cherish it.
Jessica, I honestly love the **** out of you.
You are mine forever.
I am so happy.

Some days I long to be held,
and others the thought of someone even shaking my hand makes me cringe
I still can feel hands on my throat
and the touch of an unwanted, wandering hand.

Years have gone by,
Yet the ghostly haunting of your lips on mine will not fade.
But hell, I "wanted it anyway"
I wonder how in the hell you looked into my sobbing eyes,
and decided that turned you on.

But it was my fault for wearing shorts instead of pants,
despite the 93 degree mid-July heat.

After you were done
You held me and asked for me to call you back.
You left me crying by the road side,
With my hair in knots and dirt on my new white shirt
Hours passed as I tried to walk yet couldn't because my whole body felt numb,

My best friend laughed, "nice hickies on your neck"
I cringed inside and had to lie,
hoping no one would ever know those hickies where the bruises you left when I tried to scream.

I just hugged Zoe and I saw her hickies and wanted
to kiss her lips over and over just like the day
we got high and danced underneath moving lights
and she was in my tutu and her blonde hair
felt right tickling my face and the boy
who is supposed to love her didn't notice
and it made us laugh and laugh because
if we didn’t laugh; we would have cried.

Why do we love to leave behind bruises
on lips and necks and arms and eyes
and teeth? It hurts but no matter what, no
matter how much I crush my teeth together to
hide my yelps, it always turns into this
beautiful, beautiful mark that doesn't want
pressure and looks like a sunset borrowed
it it’s colors because no one, not even
a bruise, wants to be ugly.

i want to give you hickies
all over your neck, and stomach, and thighs
i want to kiss you so much
that we forget that we need to breathe
i want to deeply love, write you poems and songs
and cry with you when it is too late to
hold it in any longer
your lips are perfectly shaped,
your eyes hold some type of magic
please let me be the one to love you
endlessly and without limits
we can do things that you
have never experienced before
i want to give you hickies
you can give them to me too,
if you want.

o.o.

4/6/16 11:01 pm

When I felt you tremble,
I felt the earth quake beneath me
Like I stood on high grounds;
You pounded emotion into me
With playful punches
And hard stares;

But I'm not supposed to like you like this.

The way your hair falls
And the way my finger feels curling in it;
The freckles on your face
And the heart I formed connecting them,
Your voice that is a song playing on repeat, repeat, repeat
Release me from your spell -

Because I am not supposed to like you like this.

Tension builds like the walls I put up
To protect myself from a girl like you,
A girl that will come marching through
With the audacity
To make me break rules set in stone,
Because I don't care that

I'm not supposed to like you like this.

Your teeth align in your smile
Like the planets during a solar eclipse -
Girls like you come along once every other millennium,
You are the reason I pray to God
For every good thing that has happened to me
On days when nothing goes right
You are the hammer that shattered any standards I had.

You are the reason I am walking like a KING.
You are my QUEEN.

You look so beautiful right underneath me;
This isn't just another hook up
Why are my lips tingling
and my mind mingling
Somewhere between us and the heavens?
When will I remember to start breathing again?

You are not just a friend -
you are the girl
That I am not supposed to meet.
Why am I connecting to you
like steel chains that cannot break?

Emotions became synonymous with skyscrapers -
We're touching the clouds,
We're getting higher and higher
My lips
fall lower and lower;
You
Get closer and closer,
I am being pushed
Further further,
Im not supposed

To be writing a poem like this.

Your moans should not be in perfect harmony
With my panting,
You should not have a necklace of hickies and bite marks,
Your pants should not be on the floor,
I'm not supposed

*To be feeling good about this.

You left a hickey on my neck- claiming that it was your way of telling every other glancing boy that I was yours
But you never wanted to get ash on your clothes from my fallout and it just kept coming
you said you loved me like a friend but ****** me like the enemy and now I find myself hating Thursdays because watching you drive away from me in the lightening storm made me hate myself even more
In an instant I had become everything I told myself I would not

It’s a “travel week” here in Georgia. I’m writing this on June 1st at the Atlanta airport. This morning Sunny’s flying in from Nebraska, Sophy from California, Lisa from New York and Anna from Oregon - all around noon. Charles put a hard-shell luggage carrier on the roof of the Navigator because he didn’t trust it to hold the luggage 4 girls could bring.

My parents left last Saturday for Warsaw to join “Doctors Without Borders.” Charles, Leong and I drove them to the airport and then we took Leong to “The Mad Italian” for the best steak & cheese sandwiches on this side of andromeda.

Sunday was a typical lake day. We tied off in our favorite cove and were quickly joined by everyone who could get on a boat. Imagine that Dunkirk movie - except this was a get together - with motorboats, sailboats, skiffs, pontoon boats and canoes all crowding the little bay.

Leong’s an avril lavigne - who knew? On Monday, I surprised her with something green - a trip to “Fun Galaxy” roller-skating rink. I made reservations for a “birthday party” and a group of 15 of us had the rink to ourselves all morning (and cake). I thought I was a skater but Leong’s legit. She says that in Macau you either skate on the street (rough terrain and dangerously between cars) or at one of several huge multisport pavilions where the rinks are cement and resemble our skateboard courses.

She’d never seen an air-conditioned, basketball-court-smooth-hardwood, disco-lit, rock concert sounding, American roller rink. It was love at first sight. She spins, does double lutzes, skates faster backwards than I can forwards, and the manager threatened to pull her off the floor for doing backflips (“There are liability issues,” he insisted.) She was also amazed because there was a built-in diner. At home, she said, you have to bring your own water and sometimes your own toilet paper (toilets are completely different in Asia - don’t get me started on THAT).

Yesterday, Leong, Kim and I were waiting for a Facetime call, to coordinate today’s arrivals.
Before that though, at my behest, Kim helped me ferret-out - Holmes & Watson like - the dire skinny on something, and we, as long time besties and co-conspirators, had a plan.
“Did you know Rob Chen was class valedictorian this year?” Kim asked the room.
“No!, congratulations Rob,” I said.
“Yea, Rob,” Leong echoed nonchalantly.
“We’re so proud of Rob.” Kim continues.
“But, you know,” I said seriously, “there are Rob haters out there. I understand it - he’s hateable,” I expand.
“ek,” Kim blurted, like a little bird, at Leong’s reaction as Leong gasps, “What.. Why?”
“Because he dresses ugly!” I explained.
Kim, unable to curb her excitement, squeaks out loud.
Leong looked at Kim, shocked, Kim was looking down and rocking with the effort of silence.
“That’s not enough REASON,” Leong blurts, “to hate someone!
Again, Leong looked to Kim for agreement and got none.
“I don’t hate YOU,” Leong says, turning on me.

There’s a moment of shocked silence.

“WOW.. wow,” I say, as Kim nervously snickered with glee.
“First of all,” I begin, between my own chuckles, a defense:
“I’m wearing a very **** black ensemble but not exactly dressed to go OUT, (Kim laugh-coughed) and SECOND,” I pause for drama-queen effect.
“YOU,” I say, turning my head significantly and accusingly, towards Leong, slightly askew for a better view, “seem to have quite a few hickies on your neck this morning.”
Kim can't stand it any more and squeals, full out, with delight.
“You, need,” Leong said, pausing just before she lunges at me playfully, to put her hand over my mouth, “to cut off THAT line,”
“I knew it.. I KNEW it!” I say, bobbing and turning my head away as Leong pins me with her body while still trying to mug me and we’re all howling with laughter now.
“Those are Rob Chen hickies! - I. KNEW. IT.”

The facetime ring interrupts us and Leong reluctantly lets me go to answer it.
We all sober as she moves to press “Accept.”
“Let me just loop-back to say,” I looked at Kim with elementary-dear-Watson satisfaction, and said to Leong, “you didn’t deny it,”
Leong blushes crimson as the call begins.

he was gone before the hickies faded

He Would Burn Holes In My Skin With His Mouth. . .
The Hickies He Left Me Were Stamps Of All The Places He Took Me. . .
But,

He Didn't Want A Girl Who Wouldn't Go Down On Him . . .

White is the promise of purity revoked.

Red is the stain of lipstick on your fifth cup of coffee.

Orange is the succession of sunset to sunrise without an ounce of sleep.

The color yellow peeks through the blinds and dances across his skin.

Green is the color that burns your lungs until you're in a haze of numb.

Blue are the eyes that haunt your consciousness and tears that stream silently down.

Purple is the Galaxy pattern of hickies and bruises littering the skin he touched.

Black is the static you hear in the moments after, when you lay panting in his arms

...just before all the color fades again in his absence.

Most likely to Break hearts:
She lives in a world of ***
Hands around her neck, hickies on her hips, and blood on her boyfriends tattooed fists
Dating boys who are twice her age
She got straight A's but never will live up to her potential
because her *** is shaped like a heart, and her heart is shaped like a dollar sign

Most likely to Live in her dreams:
She wears twigs in her hair and presses flowers in notebooks
Scattered around her eclectic cottage
Living off  her woodland knowledge
Literally a ghost, no job, no life, no love
no ******* reality

EDITED:  MARK AS VOID (she dumped him and he fell apart)
Most likely to Elope after high school:
I can picture her running away with him
Living in ***** motels on concrete streets
Surviving on paper plates of buttered toast and styrofoam cups filled with bitter black coffee
kissing under stars in empty parking lots
She loves him so much not even I can see them falling apart

Most likely to Fry his brain on drugs:
Alone in his room
Bowl packed, lungs filled with skunked up smoke
Laughing at nothing listening to loud *** rap music
I can see his future its as empty as his head
Tripping up the stairs to his heavenly room to **** down more stale air
and taste clouds

Most Likely to Become a Stripper:
He looks like a stud with hair of gold
Picturing him with dollar bills being stuffed in his G string is an easy image.
His solid heart makes him strong
but his craving for a boy to love him makes him weak
I love him

EDITED:I AM NO LONGER A ****** BUT IM STILL UNLOVED
I am just most likely to die a young ******, drunk on *****, high on illegal drugs, melancholy about nothing, and empty inside.

My summer lover
The shapes we uncovered
After glasses of wine
Clutching my spine
With sweaty palms
A voice that calms
You laid me down
And let me drown
In a pool of lust
Quaking with each ******

The bites
From steamy nights
The pink hickies
From afternoon quickies
Oh, but the early morning kissing
Is what I’m still missing

All of the
baby clean
lovers, teens
in Paris with
their purple
spotted necks
rosey cheeks
and cigarettes
reminded me
of how many times
a day I used
to fall in love
with someone
new

and now

I feel so numb.

as the hickies slowly faded so did the memory of you
as the red turned purple against my skin your smile began to float away

how perfect it was
teeth aligned just so
fighting with your lips to be seen

and don’t get me started on your lips
they tasted like home
they were two glowing embers
and when I pressed mine to them they ignited into the most glorious of flames

and don’t get me started on your eyes
burning holes in my soul with your stare
you looked through me like I was transparent and had nothing to hide

then there were your hands
a godly creation
making me feel electric and alive at the slightest touch

as the hickies slowly faded so did these memories of you
as purple turned back to flesh against my skin your smile began to float away

Im ****** up on you.
You're ****** up on antidepressants
Couldn't see that from the start because you blinded me with your beauty
You must've stayed because I made you feel alive, gave you a crimson color in your skin
Then you found another that gave you feeling in your chest and made blood flow through your cut wrists
You use to have ****** lips because you chewed through them
I guess anxiety will do that to you
You would kiss me when no one was watching and hold my hand when we snuck out your parents house at night
Then behind closed doors your insecurities seemed to disappear
The way you bit into the flesh of my neck and forced me to the bed
Caressed my thighs and gave me a french kiss in a foreign place
Made my back arch as I moaned your name
In the morning I'd leave and come back the next day
Then you started to distance yourself
Ignored calls
****** fists of confusion
Teary eyes and smeared makeup
You stopped answering the door after your mom constantly told me you weren't feeling well
I was abandoned by you
The one person that gave me butterflies and hickies
Knew how to make me laugh but moan after hours
Even though you saw yourself as damaged goods, I saw you as a gift from god
You gave me chills down my spine
Clumsily licked my teeth with your tongue during a kiss
Laid with your body inside of mine as I held you tight and put my face in your neck
Now I yearn for your scent and to see your smile
But you're nowhere to be found
Gone in the blink of an eye
I dread the thought of how fast you slipped away from me
I miss your tight hugs and how you grabbed the back of my neck to pull me in for a kiss
I miss the light you brought to my eyes
How you didn't have to hide behind a mask with me and made yourself so vulnerable
Come back to me.

When is it that you've had enough
when you can't tell methane from Mexico
and the bruises on your knees
resemble the hickies
from the drug dealer boyfriend
you left last summer

I remember him very well
and picture his blurred face
Looking at me longingly
from between my legs

he was sweaty
and I was vulnerable
and he used every inch of my body
to convince me of his desire

but I dont mind
and an certainly not shameful
of that curiosity I developed
for telling skunk from week
and the admiration
and ****** frustration
for the cholo type of boy

sometimes I miss you
but maybe those are nights
that I'm not getting any

To the girl who thinks she is the other girl:
He wears your hickies proudly.
As distasteful as they are he parades them into my room each morning after you've left his bed.
And-as distasteful as it is he tells me about all the *** positions you're great at-and the ones you **** at, too.
Yet when I walk through the door your body language expresses jealousy as he asks how my day was.
As I take a seat far away from him.
As push myself into a conversation with someone else-Push myself into a different room.
Because I want you to feel like I'm not trying to hurt you.
I wear my lungs down in continuous smoke breaks outside to lighten the uncomfortable presence that you have created in a house that him and I used to call ours.
And you don't know that I wonder too-Why his touch is different from when I am peering through the window and when I am sitting on the couch.
But you don't know that when  you are not there he holds me.
But you don't know that no one can be there when he holds me. And the doors better be locked, too. And even though they are-let's do this under the blanket just in case someone has a key-and let's hide this in the dark in case someone can look through the window.
And I see him kissing you in my peripherals-I hear the zipper pulls behind his broken door-I hear you begging him for more.
You leave marks all over his skin like you're trying to claim territory-but you got him. You got him don't you see?
Because our eyes don't meet when we're laying together. And I'd like to believe he holds my hands tighter than yours because when he squeezes my finger tips I feel the pure energy of his love. But no! Our eyes don't meet, because then maybe our lips would.
You're the kind of girl who men high-five each other over. **** you got that girl in bed last night kinda chick.
You're the kinda of girl he ***** sober.
He grips my arms with such conviction that he's going to make love to me when we are drunk and just as quickly falls asleep in my lap.
Last time we drank together he picked me up and twirled me around and whispered in my ear "I can do this because I am a man"
And I'm still trying to figure out if that was a fat joke-or he'd be a man for me.
But right now he's acting like a child for me. And maybe it's because I have too many curves to be considered beautiful, and maybe it's because he doesn't want to ruin it-but he ruins it-when he touches me-when he holds me to sleep and tells me he's glad there's no other me-and he ruins it when he keeps on with you.
Because you know, you ain't the other girl, you might just be another girl... but at least you're not a secret.

Your body is my heaven
As I grip on your soft hair
I kiss your soft lips
My kisses gently go down to your neck
Leaving hickies and you start to pant as my hands go down to your sides;
I reach up and loosen your bra
Revealing your breast, I slowly lick your *******;
Flicking my tongue and hearing your pants;
You say, "go lower daddy."
Your wish is my every command
My hand now on your *******
I kiss your stomach
I go lower and I nibble on your lace *******;
I bite my way through those underwear;
I'm greeted with a beautiful rose
Your **** pulsating
I nibble on your ****
Hearing your moans and groans
My hands steadily spread your legs
And my fingers gently enter your wet ******;
It now resembles a water fountain, my face soaked enjoying your every moan;
I looked you in your eyes and asked, "are you ready princess?"
With a smile on her face she said, "yes daddy."
I proceeded to lower my pants
I entered a warm ocean
Slow strokes, every moan and pant
She enjoyed me inside of her
Pure love being made
Not letting go, she looks me in my eyes
She mutters, "I love you"
I knew she was the one

What's deep is, what I cannot give you nor have with you
The *** leaving you with hickies, that's what I'm willing to give you
Show me your body, and I will show you my love

The depth of this situation is unexplainable

I don't want you to place your heart in my hands, because I'm scared

I'm a mess, but I can fix your broken heart through the exchange of souls, my soul is nothing.
I can't complete myself and leave you empty.
I'd rather just have you to my bed, with no emotions crossing and knotting each other inside me. Don't fall for me, I won't too. Let's enjoy the stupidity of what we're doing while we can before I break you. But just know I didn't mean to. You were so perfect and it didn't sit well with me.

By: ofentse_tsie & dvniel

Start date: 5/16/17.
Your scent is intoxicating
It hurts how badly I crave you.
I want so badly to move away with you, leave everything behind, just go.
You're my favorite place
When I'm not with you all I do is bite my nails and wait until I'm with you again.
I know I break down quite a lot but I love you with every fiber of my being.
All I can write about is you and your sun kissed eyes
I will never, ever forget our first kiss.
You told me not to worry and for the first time ever I didn't
You're what makes life worth living.
Your smile is as calming as the sea
Not certain about anything really but I'm certain about you
You're my paradise
I can taste you in my coffee
You're the blood that flows through my dainty veins
There isn't a safe place in this world except your arms
I'm so incredibly in love with you
I just want to spend a whole day locked away uninterrupted with you
I love you so much that it physically hurts.
You are my sun, my moon, and all my stars.
You fill me with warmth I could NEVER feel anywhere else
Everything that comes out of your mouth is an amazing story I get ****** into
You showed me that home is not a place, it is a person, and that person is you
Your eyes are the absolute sunshine of my life
I never knew what comfort was until I met you
It doesn't matter where we go as long as I'm with you
Let's melt into the bed sheets
I want to write about all the good you make me feel
I'd follow you without thinking twice
I know I have a temper and my emotions are off the wall but I love you with all that I have.
I wake up just to sleep with you
I don't wanna be if I can't be with you
Please feel my yearning for you and come back to me.
I love you so ******* much, it felt so good to hold you.
You're my world forever.
I just wanna do everything I can to make you feel okay.
I could write about you forever baby
You warm my heart and my soul
My goal is to kiss you more times than the ocean has kissed the sand
I can feel our souls connect everytime we touch
Your fingertips kiss me and I am home
We are such a strong flame
I'm never prepared for how fast time flies when we're together
You make my heart overflow
You make me smile literally constantly
I don't mind going to sleep because I know you'll be in my dreams
I love when you leave me hickies
Being next to you is the only way I can sleep without sleeping pills
I cannot even express in words the absolute happiness and warmth you bring me every second of the day
In love with the way your smile plants a blooming garden in me
You saw me on the floor and you picked me up with just your smile
Your perfect smile gets me drunk
Listening to you talk is like reading my favorite book
Days really do feel like weeks without you
When we got together, love songs finally made sense
Me & my heart talk about you 24/7
I want to spend every second with you
Nothing tastes as good as your lips
Your eyes stung me at first, maybe that's because you saw straight into my soul all at once.
I wanna sit on you and bite your lip
I can write a book about every adventure we've ever had
Running my fingers through your hair brings me so much happiness
You paint pictures inside of me I can't even describe
All I saw was black and white until you came along and made me see color
Your eyes light up my whole entire life
I found myself inside of you
you made all my dreams come true
I didn't think I could ever be this happy & then you came back into my life and I can't even remember how upset I used to be
His whispers caressed me softly
You're my every star
I could write about you until the end of time
I want you in every way always
The only thing that truly makes me feel awake is his presence
I can't get over how beautiful your soul is
Our pictures make me smile from ear to ear
Every little line in your lips is poetry in itself
You were the water that made my rose of a heart bloom
I've always loved you, always
You're the whole forest in my heart
I want to wrap my arms around you forever
I used to sit on the train tracks for hours, wishing for someone like you
I absolutely love your hickies, show the world I'm yours on my skin
I write I love you all over your body with every kiss I plant
You make me feel so full in this empty world
I dream of time pausing and us exploring the world together
I live for our little getaways
Our love is so precious
I need your cuddles always
If you can't get drunk together and blast Backstreet Boys he ain't the one (****)
All the love songs are always about you
You make my heart flutter
I was always so lost then I found my way with you
I dream about your perfect face every night
I feel like a literal zombie until I finally see you again
You are, always have been, and always will be my entire universe
You make me melt so much
Home is: you.
You’re the everlasting warmth I feel running through my cheeks
You’re always always always on my mind
You’re my inspiration
He’s the only one
All I can think about is you and how you make me feel like cotton candy on a warm afternoon
You’re the only thing that makes life bearable.
You make me forget about all the troubles I’m going through
The world is ours
You illuminate me
You make me feel like my soul is melting in the best way
I’d be yours in a million lifetimes
I fell for you before I even touched the ground
You make my world go round
I’m sorry but nothing exists without you
I want to give you everything you want.
I'm just a sack of skin and bones without you
Baby I love you to death
I have always been and always will be yours
I don't wanna eat I don't wanna sleep I just want to be in your arms and hear your heart beat.
You are the only thing that makes everything okay
I love you with my entire being
We both started crying because we didn’t know what we’d do without each other, and that was such a special moment.
Eyes for you and only you
I love you so much, you have no idea
Take my hand, you and me against the world.
Thinking about marrying you makes me cry every time.
He is my every single heart beat.

End date: 8/6/2018

Stars lost in darkness
Their twinkle too faint
To even try and paint
Imaginary pictures
Of a haunted pasts
Buried in pain

Their twinkle too faint
To even pierce through
The veil of night
A night so fickle
The sky disowned the stars
Perhaps ashamed
To call them her own.
"How could you even claim to be children of the light, when you can't even stand up for yourselves and shine bright at night?"

They were like invisible freckles
On her face, and they added to
Her wrinkles, the sky thought to herself,
When all she needed were crescent hickies
Delivered by the soft kisses
Of the crimson half moon
"Ungrateful little stars! I give them a home and in return they mock my glow."

The furious sky did not know
That those stars were shining,
Secretly still but they shone nonetheless
Perhaps the most beautiful stars
In all the galaxies
Brilliant in the own unfamiliar glow
But they needed attention
They weren't there for competition
For they understood that each star
Holds a peculiar uniqueness about it

They wanted to be gazed at,
Hours upon hours
Perhaps by a young couple
Helplessly in love with one another
Tracing the route to their unforeseen
But well anticipated future
In a world full of lovers
But with only a few
That make it through
To the finish line

They wanted be gazed at,
perhaps by a lone stranger
tracking a path to a long lost home
To hands that grew cold
waiting to hold him
And yearning to be held by his
Yet now he knew more than ever
That it was due time to get back home

Those special stars
Just like the most scared
Amongst us, longed for attention
A special kind of affection
One that doesn't care if the next star
Shines brighter or bolder
One that understood enough
To stay because affection heals
All our scars.

You are Minnie, I'll be your mickey
We'll give each other hickies

I'll be and act like a Pooh bear
Who loves honey, that's you dear

When you ll feel low like Bolt has lost his speed
I'll cheer you up even if it makes me bleed

Dumbo in the end loved his ears
I'll love you even with flaws and keep you here

I'll be like Aladdin and make you like My chief
I'll take you away like jasmine even if I be a theif

Like Nemo I'll not stop swimming for you
When I lost my breath then I'll stop loving you

I.
Ive been eavesdropping on the autophobe;

my boyfriend doesn't believe in ghosts, doesn't see the dirt on my shoes.

He wants me to get myself off, to break out the winter blankets.

II.
My companion candied her scalp, says she quit using ******
because it messes with her complexion.

I think thats like riding a bike, like going back a few years and
falling in love with your dads mechanic.

III.
Someone coughs up a lung, prays like hell for a sign, for a clean bill of health.

You are an amateur prospector, found a geode cave deep in my stomach, split it open.

Twin hickies near the knees; my boyfriend tells me to forget
about alien abductions, to quit picking up the strays i find at buick city.

i work myself weary all day long

and soon enough

i’m the panda

dark circles under my eyes

feet dragging sluggish and slow through aisles decorated with glitter and eight year old imaginations

head in the cloud

feet chained to the ground

heart six feet below

and i ask myself for certainly not the first

and certainly not the last time

“i wonder if you miss me?”

the hickies on her shoulders are an answer enough.

e p i l o g u e

Smoke billows from steel chimneys and stolen O-faced lips as I try to validate myself alongside your bare necessities

The slang of the times coincides not with language, but once more - with feeling!

Seven seasons and six leading ladies gone so that I know summer's really over / and I've called you 'the one' more times than I've read it in TV Guide descriptions late-night reruns of all the Friends you have at 3 AM
Who
Aren't

me.

(What are we?)

I don't want to be existential but I'm existing and here is you here is me and here is everyone else, we are uncomfortably permanent as a 20-year stint in a cell made from changing leaves and whitened teeth

(P.S. I want to bash your disproportionate ******* head in)

Sloppy Joe's on my brain as I use the sticky fingers of my undying affection to wipe off the traces that She Left On You - and I open all the windows but the breeze is just perfume

("I don't understand makeup", you say as I paint over eight midnight love-***** or I guess you could call them hickies)

Let us talk about! Numbers, locations, dates and Age -
Or the S of your body with elbows against the wall
The nowhere of the place I wanna be
That one time? With that one thing???
(You're just a minor and I can't do this)


My sob story is
Written in blushing haikus
Like tea in Japan