23 hours ago

i am learning to live without the love
i thought i'd never have to and
it's only gotten harder.
but, this morning, i got out of bed,
and i did the same yesterday,
and i'll do the same tomorrow.
the hurt i feel will break me
and i will still be standing after.
you will leave
and i will go on.

23 hours ago

i've been breathing deeper,
caring more, loving harder,
smiling for the sake of smiling.
i've been losing sleep,
crying when you're not around,
getting high to block it all out.
i've been realizing this isn't easy.
exhausted after eight hours of sleep
spent in nightmares of lone times,
days spent fighting fatigue brought
on by the thought of your skin on
if i could tell you i would

1 day ago

plant your feet firmly on the ground
let your roots spread out
let your bark harden
so that children may carve their names on your trunk
that lovers may reminisce the time the scratched their initials on you
when life was simple and pure

touch the clouds with your branches
let your leaves wither
in the fall
but let them grow back
in the spring
let them turn green then brown and red and orange
all the colors
let the snow gather on your branches
white and stark against your bark

beware of forest fires
the flames that lick your green green green
and the men who carry
blades across their backs

     grow, love

#love   #self   #selflove   #personal   #growth  
Lauren Prather
Lauren Prather
2 days ago


You can get one drift of a certain scent and it will leave you thinking for hours.

As a little girl, I remember the sweet and bitter smell of the tangerine trees in my great grandmother's barren backyard. The smell lit up the entire neighborhood.

The smell of my sisters perfume. She used to give me just a squirt every time I saw her because it was so expensive. I was just a child, I didn't understand.

The smell of the ocean my aunt used to live by. The salty sea and sand aroma filled the open windows in her house mixed with the chlorine from her one person sized pool.

The funny thing about scent is it never goes away. I can still smell the tangerine trees, her perfume and the beautiful mixture of the oceans salty breeze and chlorine.

These scents make me believe these three incredible women's souls live on past their time. I can still feel their presence with me with each aroma

Isn't it something?
To place the churn
In your gut
Onto light blue lines
And bathroom walls?
Isn't it something?
To flip that nervous
Vomit onto a canvas
For passerbys to notice?
Isn't it something?
The way heartbreak
Claws open your ribs
One by one as if
She were tasting each
Slowly letting you bleed
And how the world could see
But far less often understand?
Unless you put it on a paper
With a pen and with your hand
Isn't it something?
The way words can mend the sores
She left the day before,
Or make them seem urgent at least
So there is less of you for the world to feast
Upon the vulnerability that you have become,
But it is words you leave
Eyes that see
That do the caring
The world may sit and read
For it is human to be hungry

#love   #heartbreak   #poem   #food   #breakup   #personal   #reading   #freeverse   #jmk   #ckeleos  

There is no proof now

That you were ever here

Except for in my brain

Where it will not disappear

#love   #short   #sad   #breakup   #personal   #simple   #freeverse   #jmk   #ckeleos  

You were never a cure
Only a distraction
When I felt the need
To fracture my January skin
To see if I was still living
You lit my smokes
And talked about my laugh
How it stopped time and moved glaciers
Even God himself couldn't budge
You weren't what I needed
Late nights, Vicodin off the streets
White sheets and pillow talk
You were only the in between
Never the start or the end
You were not my cure
I don't have one,
Terminal battles
Cut into pieces by the fun
You gave me

One day I'll talk about the pain
In retrospect
And I'll talk about the way I healed
It won't be a stretch
One day I'll talk about the pain
Like an old friend in high school
Familiar faces focused on the has-been
But only for a little bit
One day I'll talk about the pain in retrospect

#pain   #personal   #freeverse   #jmk   #ckeleos  
4 days ago

You never see how I live off coffee and sweat
while you sit and do nothing
complaining of how tired you are from a day of work
like my problems do not even come close to comparing to yours

you speak to me like I am supposed to be who you want me to be
and if I am not, I am nothing
if I am not this idea you have of who I am
you get so angry
you spit vile at me in your words and hit deep in my bones

You dismiss the parts of me that are beautiful
you only take for granted the me I share with you
not knowing there is a mountain of girl underneath
this shell I dont feel you deserve
You wouldn't appreciate her anyway

You have used me up and hung me out to dry
and still expect me to give to you when you want
whatever it is you selfishly want this time
ignoring the fact that I NEVER get what I want
let alone what I deserve

#feelings   #truth   #sad   #life   #relationship   #me   #selfish   #personal  

Why'd you have to
Show up on my comedown
And ask if you could hang around
Like old times, 4 years ago, flew somehow
Who was I then? Who are you now?
Why'd you have to
Show up on my uprising
And act so very surprised
To learn I was giving goodbyes
Did you think I'd wait forever?
Losing you was an endeavor I could not
Heal from, instead I had to run
And why did you have to ask me if
I was happy? Or if I was having fun?
Please don't pull me back
I've no time for your conundrums
Why'd you have to change for the good
Second guess the way I'm dodging you in this state I fell in and out of love in
All In a year
Why'd you have to come back here?
I felt so fucking strong

#love   #sad   #anger   #breakup   #personal   #freeverse   #jmk   #ckeleos  
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