Her skin is like silk
smooth to the touch.
Her lips are soft like cotton
which is why I ask for kisses so much.
Her eyes are caring, compassionate, and her hugs so warm.
My life without her is like a hurricane, and she calms my storm
Home has always been tricky to pinpoint on a map.
It's not where we came from last,
or where we pay taxes,
it's not where we spend most of our time,
or where we want to be,
it's not ma and pa's house,
home is not where our origins trace back to,
or where our ancestors planted their roots,
in fact I'd argue that
home is not an external location.
Home follows us within our travels while we're looking for it,
it is here at work while we are making money for home,
it's at the grocery store where we shop for home...
Home is in friendships,
and family members.
Home is a feeling inside of us,
where we can grab those fleeting moments,
and stitch them together like a grandiose stained glass window.
Home is a compilation of every place we have ever been,
are going to go,
and more importantly -- where we are now.
So I could list out all the states I've lived in (eight of them),
even the houses within each state (over twenty of those),
sometimes I might say a city I'm particularly fond of (usually Madison or Walla Walla),
but usually I say "wherever I am is where I am from".
everything there is to complain about
everything there is that causes pain
anything that is making me unstable
anything that is making you cry
it's all us.
there is nothing beautiful about the destruction we've voluntarily created,
there is nothing beautiful about power,
because power makes people mad
but we've created the idea of power.
the only thing i'd keep from what we have is nothing,
because what we have is this law that you have to suffer to be alive
because what we have is this terrible hole in our stomachs that we fill with paper.
i don't understand people who look for happiness
i don't understand how they live their lives
trying to find happiness in settling.
i don't understand how people can take away my tears
i don't understand how they can take away their blood
i don't understand how it is possible for us to keep killing everything we touch,
i don't understand how there still is so much beauty to be found,
i don't understand how even though we could have everything,
we give it up for hatred
we give it up so people can be more cruel
we give everything up for words that have no meanings,
we give everything up just so we can have a little more.
i just don't understand,
i just don't understand.
My impending fear,
With danger near,
Only increased until I began to see myself wondering how he left without shedding a single tear.
My biggest weakness,
Was on a constant downward spiral into something that made even myself wish to digress.
I began to understand how his absence brought me a soft feeling of serenity.
I was reluctant to push the blame onto anyone but myself even though I didn't choose this.
People asked me,
If I was aware that I smiled brighter and laughed louder now that I've had this epiphany.
Now I can see,
I allowed myself to be taken for granted just so I wouldn't have to be lonely.
And in the end,
Looking inside yourself and seeing the broken bonds you must mend.
On the East Coast of England there’s a small resort
Called Cleethorpes, where I happen to reside.
And out towards the Pleasure Park
A short way from the shore
There is The Boating Lake.
I love to go there on a still, sundowning evening
When the parking is free.
To walk those walkways around the lake,
Dreaming I’m on Starfleet Academy Campus.
Walkways flanked by lawned hillocks and shrubs.
The lake is fringed by red-flowered reeds
And punctuated by ducks and geese.
Families and couples roam about
As I sit in meditation
Watching and listening
To the central fountain play.
Such a tranquil scene,
Far from the madding crowd.
Go over the bridge and cross the mini-railway line:
Before you reach the saltmarsh and the sea
You’ll find a stretch of shrubbery and trees
A haven for the birds
And for me,
As I walk my favourite path.
The lake is thus a prelude
To some splendid growth
As nature does its thing.
Serene and tranquil everything
A spiritual feeling
As I meditate
Beneath multi-layered clouds
Under endless sky.
You always fancied our extravagant dinner parties.
The ones where you wanted to be a saint at the door at the start,
But a bitch at the table in the middle.
You welcomed all our guests into this home,
But didn’t tell them what it was built off of.
The years of love, flirting, and dates.
Those were just the bricks on which the foundation was laid.
Then came the pillars of this home,
Which were filled with late night star-gazing, all day text messaging, and random cheap gifts on doorsteps.
The walls went up next, the ones maintained with long conversations.
Talks about marriage, children, and the future.
Our ceremony was the roof,
Proving that we would always shelther and protect the other.
But then came the paint, which was mixed in with fighting and anger.
Decorative furniture picked out of spite and defeat.
Bedding covering nights of tossing and turning bodies and minds.
Then the windows were framed with lashing out and hurtful words,
And the doors out of painful comments and hurting slaps.
And with that, we had really made a home out of this.
A home we were both trapped in.
And now I just sit here and choke on all of this food,
At this extravagant dinner party.
Which I never fancied anyways.
Do you feel that poison in your vein?
It rushes and courses
and makes you insane
Your love is anything but plain
It veils your eyes, from all the lies
Like a drug that blocks the pain
Your heart, do you feel it?
When was the last time you felt it beat?
Cause since that poison entered your veins
Your soul has saw defeat
I wish you knew the price you pay
Or how that love just eats away
at who you are
from worlds afar I feel the pain
From how you spar
From how you fight with all your might
To lose that love, you feel the fright
It’s not alright, it’s not okay
Memories of the past, the reason you stay
These games you play will make you numb
Do you know the rule of thumb?
Do you even know the sum?
Of how much it cost
your heart will be lost
and so your soul
you’ll feel the cold
you’ll feel the frost
the ice will the build
your world will stop
It will standstill
Cause of the poison..
you let run in your veins.