Sometimes, change is easy
It feels like trying on a new pair of shoes from a favorite department store
If the change feels good and fits, you move forward
You wear change like a badge of honor, a personal achievement
Then, feeling accomplished and joyful, with your chin raised a little higher, you let change enrich your spirit, a necessary transfusion to the soul
Sometimes, change is ugly
It feels like sticking bare feet into a thick mud and wondering why there is resistance
You swing wildly at the fear, as if there was actually someone there
The possibility of change turns you into the victim and the aggressor, fighting tooth and nail to protect the now
Then, spent and weary, when your defenses are low, you let change break through, like water overflowing a dam
The suicide attempts
The anger, the self pity
Had my mind so clouded
Had me wondering why my life was so shytty.
I was consumed with anger
My life was a mess.
Once I let all of that go
God allowed me to be blessed.
I allowed my marriage to fail
I fell into a deep depression.
I allowed demons to haunt me
But now I learned my lesson.
I cut myself from off
From friends & family.
I lived in despair
& depression grabbed ahold of me.
I cried over losing my family
I tried several times to end my life.
But life kept on moving
For my children & ex-wife.
I came to to the conclusion
That I really need to move on.
But that's was hard to do
When my family was gone.
I wrote poetry & prayed
That really helped a great deal.
It helped me, when I wrote
How I really & truly feel.
Pauline was a great support system
Her words & poems were a Godsend.
I never told her this........
But I truly consider her a friend.
I learned waiting for death
Is no way for one to live.
I should look for the good in life
& strive to be positive.
I stopped crying & started smiling
I need my children to see that instead.
They don't need to see a broken man
Whose depressed, pathetic
Just one step from being dead.
I'll keep fighting to see my children
Because they are my legacy.
They are the reason why
I cast these demons away from me.
if everyone was nice the world would be at ease
living life with peace would simply be a breeze
lots and lots of kindness every single day
no such thing as nasty that has gone away.
the world would be so happy a better place to live
with happiness to share with lots of love to give
where everyone is nice nastiness all gone
just a world of peace where we could live as one
Love is something,
That we all need to share,
Letting others know,
Just how much that we care,
Even if it is expressed,
With a cuddle or a hug,
We all need to catch,
This makes you feel good bug,
Sometimes it brings out,
The biggest of smiles,
The thought of everything,
Being more than worthwhile,
When the words I love you,
Are said to someone dear,
Might be the reassurance,
They needed to hear,
It may pick them up,
When they are feeling low,
Could also be the emotion?
They long for you to show?
For some without love,
There is no point in living,
Love is something,
That we are all capable of giving,
Just let it pour from your heart,
A gift totally free,
Let it fill a bucket for you,
And fill a bucket for me.