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xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
Up is up, so down is down.

Red and green means Christmas, obviously.

Birds singing? Happiness.

Rumors equal catfights.

Cheating leads to divorces. Multiple.

And this poem is about you. Duh.
just a weird way to look at people who assume. i'm so bored and uninspired lately.
xmxrgxncy Oct 2017
Darling, dear, speak slower now,
For less well known than this
fly daggers, spears, and swords of strife
that lie within my kiss.

The stranger loves that you have poured
do wisp and linger still;
no love there for my throwing star eyes
and their desire to ****.

For targets in isolation do
in solid stature stay,
but hearts like yours-so seldom found-
easily flit away.

So friendship's bars I will obey,
my armor I will down,
it's harder than ever to look at you
but now you're safe and sound.
xmxrgxncy May 2016
A small white floret
blooms in adversity-
is it the rarest and most precious?

We will let the gas decide.
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
is it possible to become
someone you know you
would frown at if you saw
them walking down the street?
xmxrgxncy Oct 2015
Why can't I?
It should be easy, simple, really.
So why isn't it?
It's me.
My faults, my ideas, my muses, my inspirations that keep me awake at night when I should be sleeping.
It's him, reverbrating through my brain until I can't breathe with anticipation. Why can't I focus?
If only these feelings would back down...
But then, I wouldn't be human.
Am I?
Bad
xmxrgxncy May 2016
Bad
"I'm not really bad, I'm just made up of bad things...."
It's my fault that inwardly I'm a twisted maze of black thorns.
And does it scare you
That I like it that way?
Lyrics from Day of the Dead by Hollywood Undead.
xmxrgxncy Nov 2016
Dying, living,
Fading, growing,
is there even a difference?

Anger, yes.
Oh, yes.
I
can
feel the
horrors
and it is a comfort to know
that I still have
the ability
to actually
feel something,
anything...

it wafts from your writing
like red, animaic lines
that cause mania
and madness
like the roots
you speak of.

but i know anger too.

i know now what it feels like to want
nothing more than to smash
a windowpane
and watch it's pieces
embed themselves
in the eyes that hurt
you beyond compare
and even those
that didn't.

I know the unwanting,
the unfeeling,
the uncaring.

And I feel it.

Because I am no longer a fellow silvertongue, oh no.
I am but
a simple
machine.
funny how a single poem written by an old acquaintance can make you remember. Nice to have you back, Mike.
xmxrgxncy Dec 2016
Once, if it please thee,
snip back hedgelings overgrown
to reveal in a silent plea
the child who's all alone.

Fought for freedom to forget,
finding fear that seems aught of time,
her wisping tendrils wrapped twice, twice yet
round her throat with reason and rhyme.

To love is to look,
like an unbequeathed shield
for a ring or a hook
that will help thee to yield.

But yielding is not for the feinted of heart
or for the young vain and trampled,
for in my own heart i feel set apart
and no longer feel life is ample.
xmxrgxncy Jan 2016
Rest your eyes and relax
Cause today is beautiful....
But not as beautiful as him.
Open your eyes
Before he's gone....
He's always so busy that i have to really cherish the moments we have together. Not that I'm being over controlling but I wish he would pencil me in sometime....
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
Sometimes I forget to have courage.

It takes lots of strength to forget.

But then I wonder how I ended up
with enough courage to
be who I am
and not scare off the one person
I want most.

That kind of courage, to me,
is pure beauty.

And I'm so glad that I
was able to have it
at least once.
xmxrgxncy Jan 2016
Deceive the witch and steal her broom,
Let her fall down to her doom.
Lock Hansel and Gretel into a room
Until they ripen and they bloom.

No fairer weather has there been;
There’s rushing water, roaring wing.
The skies are dark, the light’s gone dim-
And that’s when the sacred dance begins.

This is truly what I love best:
Through greying alleys walk the blest.
In robes of light they all are dressed,
To add to our glorious fest.

Their voices for dominance fight
While overhead, birds take up flight.
The drones call out all through the night
And halt only at morning’s light.

But morning will not soon come,
The festivities have only just begun.
Silver flows from bejeweled tongue,
Till spells of past are come undone.

Light in depths on the lake:
And underneath, the mermaids wake.
Their songs of love and joy they make
Are spun for the shrewd sailor’s sake.

For through the ocean’s troves men trek,
Praying, hoping they won’t wreck.
Fog comes and they can’t see a fleck,
And mist lodges deep in each one’s neck.

But look now, see! Lo and behold;
Just as the old legends foretold,
Up from the depths, the maidens stole,
Cool and calm, brazen and bold.

They sit on rocks and sweetly quip,
Their long wet hair they coyly flip.
Saying, “Won’t you come take a dip?”
And silent men fall from their ship.

Down into the broiling brew
From whence he came, the sailor flew.
With arms outstretched, she hummed a tune
And planned to make her human stew.

For beauty is not what it seems,
Tis only what foolish man deems
Acceptable for social teams
And desirable in sinful dreams.

Sweet creatures open wide their mouths,
Their lips and lined and so devout.
Hidden are fangs, of which they’re proud,
Attacking when the target’s found.

Under their cloaks, their whips they hid
From the world, the ugly they rid.
And sell their looks to the highest bid;
Never shall they close the lid.

Unchanged for all, I wish it’d stay,
But all I do is sit and pray.
These lessons build our lives today
Away from being beauty’s prey.

For now I know more than I ought
About the world and what it’s taught.
Our children think love must be bought
And perish every moral thought.

Inside the mind, a tunnel lies-
Twisting and curving, and though he tries,
He cannot break his mental ties
‘Tween him and beauty’s perfect lies.

The thought brings on a frenzied dance
That brings to mind a pony’s prance.
It fills the mind, put in a trance;
All right is gone at a second glance.
Long rant poem.
xmxrgxncy Dec 2015
Well, hello there.
Awkward, isn't it? Reading what I say without hearing it for yourself?
I know it is for me. I want to see your face as I read everything to you, my face turning redder than yours ever will.
But I know I can't.

How is it
That what I write
Is something you find
To be beautiful?

Beauty is so subjective, darling, I don't believe we ever truly find it on this earth until the day we aren't searching for it.

Was I looking for you?

No.

But I found the most valuable beauty there is to be found on earth
In the solace of your arms, your smile, your scent, your heartbeat.

I wasn't seeking, and you weren't hiding.
But I found.

Case closed.
Not sure how to explain this one. But it's for you.
xmxrgxncy Sep 2016
In the silence, there is a sound.
Nay, it cannot be heard
by the naked ear
but rather by
the naked eye.

In the darkness, there is a light.
Nay, it cannot be seen
by your barren eye
but rather by
the passers by.

Watch your love, and watch your life
For in itself, beauty's strife
will take a hold
on your lowly, downed life.

Unfiltered lenses cover eyes
create a day where no one spies
on hearts of truth and hearts of lies
no one hurts and no one dies.

Beauty is in the unseen, unheard.
And one day, one day
more lessons shall be learned.
Bad pentameter. But I'm not in the mood for editing.
#hh
xmxrgxncy Apr 2016
I can't even begin to remember
what your arms felt like
because they were around me
the same amount of times
as fingers on one hand
xmxrgxncy Apr 2016
Just a feeling
That's lain dormant
For three years now
You're back

Dare I summon the strength
To ask
Why?
xmxrgxncy Jan 2017
Those words were never meant for me, I know. I stole them.
But what a bittersweet revelry it was to be able to think for once, at once, I belonged.
How wonderful was the joy that surpassed all feeling as for a moment, one fleeting moment, I was someone.
Not a blob in the shadows and not the thorn on a rose, not sticking out, unnoticed, or left behind.
But someone.
**You're the only one who knows who I really am.
We all wanna be somebody, we just need a taste of who we are.
We all wanna be somebody; we're willing to go, but not that far.
lyrics from Be Somebody by Thousand Foot Krutch.
xmxrgxncy Feb 2016
I do not know if love is right
To describe what I have felt
But every time he holds me tight
I then proceed to melt...
xmxrgxncy Jun 2016
No matter how wittingly you phrase it
I'll never laugh
At your demeaning
My sexuality
Even though
Society always will
xmxrgxncy Jan 2016
My heart flew out the window
In restless black and gold
To alight in the wet, crunchy snow
And languish in the cold.

My heart, my heart, alone it was,
Down there amongst the trees
The birches watched it die because
It'd forgotten how to breathe.
Written as I stared out the window in class today....
xmxrgxncy Jul 2020
if you visited my mind you'd find a lot of broken teacups,
glistening with the remnants of silver that pushed its way up my throat when i realized that i was alone again.
and if you wanted to look closer- watch your step, more shards- you might even find a glint of titanium somewhere. it started slowly, a taste for black without the need for sugar and cream, and grew.
it was so effortless once i let go of my wishes to continue to stay a purist, as my tastes grew from sharp and metallic to true and tough, because- a little to your left, careful- let's be honest, silver is beautiful but a facade.
and i can't help but wonder how things would have panned out if- let me move that for you, hold on- we had started out with black instead of sugary pretenses and swirling wishes to be bigger than we were.
because nothing is more tough than a black coffee. and when i lace mine with titanium, i realize that we could have been stronger.

what are you drinking now?
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
But how can I see if there's too much smoke?* she pleaded, latching onto my arms with thorny tenacity.
How can you complain when you create that smoke yourself? I combatted question with question, ******* snow into the grey nosy wisps.
It's your fault. Liquid roses dripped to the snow.
Steam kissed the smoke.
**I know.
xmxrgxncy Jun 2016
Saddle up
And let's see how this goes
Cause as far as I see
Nobody knows

The pulsing, rainy push
Between our joined hands
Gets louder and louder and
Beats out all the best bands
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
To turn up your headphones as loud as they can go
only to realize that your eyes are still open
xmxrgxncy Nov 2015
Blocking really is the easiest act
a young girl
                      a young man
                                               a child
                      a grandfather
a forlorn widow
can do.

So many people decide
on deciding
to block out
what they should take in.

The sun.
Their lover.
Food.
Feedback.
Family.

Why is it not easier
to bring in?

The sun.
Their lover.
Food.
Feedback.
Family.

Why is it that the best things in life
Are the hardest to represent
by the written word or the utterance of an untrained tongue?

I don't understand
this concept yet,
so I'll do to it
what I
do
best.

I'll block it.
xmxrgxncy May 2016
I'd never be good at playing the damsel
Who waits at home pining for her knight.

Want to know why?

I'd rather be fighting beside you,
Shedding my blood for the one I love
Than let you spill one single drop
For me

Because if you died....
....I'd die.
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
his hands ran down my cheeks like tears
until they were just that
xmxrgxncy May 2016
Well then, if that's the case....

May I dare to ask
What it is
You'd like to do
With the situation?

I'll admit the feeling is a guilty pleasure
Guilty because I feel it still is slightly unreciprocated
Pleasurable because...you

Am I wrong to think this?
I think not
xmxrgxncy May 2016
I wish that I could find my clothes, bedsheets, and a morning rose*
But since I can't
I'm gonna borrow yours....
Lyrics from LA Devotee byPanic! At the Disco.
xmxrgxncy Dec 2015
The night is young
new
beautiful
silent
joyous

It holds so many opportunities, and just as the flower who only opens her petals when the moonlight embraces them, so I am parallel.

I thrive in the night. It is my time, my hour, my seconds that only I have dominion over as I rise from the petals of my bed and am lit by the candlelight.

The waves of glow bounce off my nightgown slowly, slowly, and the undulating satin reverberates off my long legs as it dances with the faint breeze flowing through my room. I smile weakly.

Moving to the window, I can see for miles- a stretch of green quilting left there by God and his court, the velvet of the stitching vibrant in the light of the pale moon. It is unfinished.

The candle in the sill below me wanes slightly, and I blink. Reaching down, my fingers touch wax and guide it to my lips.

Fire reflects in my eyes the passion I have for such nights, for the silence that is filled with the deafening meekness of night sounds, for the musky, dark scent of my attic bedroom, from the taste of the faint dust lining the air.

I sigh, and smoke infiltrates my nostrils quietly, without invitation but without respite. The light is gone. My fingers quiver as I hold the wax, cold and lifeless now, and I sigh again. Quieter.

The night is brand new. I have only to light but one more match in order to explore it more fully. There is naught I cannot do when I hold in my hand this sheen that will light the recesses of the dark that haunt my room. My life. My eyes. And my fears.
Written from the perspective of a young lady in the olden days when she cannot sleep. Simple, really.
xmxrgxncy Jun 2016
Let the flowers crown your crown
with life, leeway, and lust

Let the blossoms crowd your crowd
in your mind, marked and mine

Let the starlight head your head
from dye, disaster, and divinity

Let the acetone guard your heart
because when it comes to breaking patterns
rhymes
and constancy
you seem to be
holy
xmxrgxncy Nov 2016
a plane crashed
killed a soccer team

a serial killer
was caught

two family members
were murdered

a hurricane
formed down south

my depression
has come back
breaking news. yay.
xmxrgxncy Nov 2019
after you pull the tubes from my throat
I hope you dredge up some inspiration
xmxrgxncy Oct 2015
her black wings
flatten with the weight of the world
cancer ward
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
Breathing, breathing,
all I can do is keep breathing
living, living,
I've lived and now I'm bored.
xmxrgxncy Jan 2017
here

at the press
against an arrow
suddenly

there
>.<
xmxrgxncy Mar 2018
I've changed, I've grown.
I've come to realize that words in and of themselves do not, in fact, mean what the dictionary pleads. Oh no, for those of us brave enough to venture out and discover our true selves on our own, it is easy enough to divine the truth of the situation.
Promises, yes, those; as a child they meant so much. I promised I wouldn't walk on the stone bridge by myself because I knew my mother wouldn't want me getting hurt, and I promised never to be there after dark. But I've grown. I've changed. I've made a conscious effort to become mature in ways other children I played with never cared for, because it took work and wanting to mature instead of a foolish desire to ignorantly play for the rest of their days.
So I can now walk to the bridge, and after dark too. I can enjoy the moon drifting over the river water, and I can appreciate the lull of the quiet night air. I promised to be good and not go or do what my word meant I couldn't.
I'm older now. Situations have changed. I'm strong enough to swim without my father's hands, and tall enough to stand in the water on my own.
Why would a mother hold her daughter to a promise made in a situation that no longer holds true? To do so is to be confining and cause stress and pain.
A daughter should be able to swim if she wants to.
If not allowed, how will she ever learn to fly?
xmxrgxncy Jun 2016
Just because we felt happiness
And you saw little tears
Doesn't mean that our time
Wasn't all just broken years

You saw the good, you optimist
You never asked what I fear
So you can't blame me for being ******
All of those long broken years
xmxrgxncy Oct 2016
My little music bubble
is a mass of empty space
that only opens up to me
when I've fallen from grace.
It's glossy walls do shimmer sweet
with light and life and sound,
but questions as though I do have-
will it lift off the ground?

I enter with a careful toe
and hear the start of songs
that I'd forgotten to forget,
reminded of my wrongs.
All songs that played remind me still
of lives that I have lived,
yet something in my heart does reach
for something underived.

So pop my bubble, all you folk,
who wish to see me crash,
harder than ever, in your minds,
do I deserve to bash.
Make me sink rather than fly,
for in this lonesome time
I'd thought that we had said goodbye,
yet you continue to rhyme.

Left here I am with notes and sheen
of rusted rainbow hue,
left here am I with gloss and sound
that reminds me what is true.
Steering upwards I will vy,
as I drought with my tears,
for in sometime, as time goes by,
t'will be forgotten, in those years.
i love the image of a rainbow tinted little bubble, kind of like the chromosphere within the new Alice movie. One you can steer and that plays music according to what you need or how you feel.
inspiration for this credited to someone else.
xmxrgxncy May 2016
They say that poetry
Holds an inner
Fire.

Well, if you're reading this
I hope your hands
Are scalded
Beyond recognition
xmxrgxncy Mar 2016
Dressed in red and clothed in sheets
Across the creaking plain she creeps
Undesired, then consumed in fire
The branches open with raw desire
Up the trunk she shimmies low
And that's when all the thoughts begin to go...
Fire first lights the leaves and the bark,
And overhead, her face is stark
She moves with grace and much cold poise
Caressing the wood with nary a noise
In and out of knotholes, her fingers threaten
And on the tree, a deep shiver sets in...

The alarm clock sounds,
     a hand shuts it down
          and silence- SILENCE-
               just lay back down, little tree...
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
You ask me not to wait for you

I've been waiting my entire life.

Mama says I'm too direct, that I say things too quickly. But what does it matter?

Maybe my entire life, all of these nineteen years, wasted in the poppies beyond the tall, tall fence...

Maybe, just maybe, I've been waiting, and I didn't even know. Maybe I was waiting- am still waiting- for you.
xmxrgxncy Mar 2017
If I concentrate, I can fit myself into a four beat measure, just between the lines caging the letter F.
xmxrgxncy Aug 2018
just because i've finally got a handle on life doesn't mean i can go back and redeem what i've lost.
but just so you know, i'm a different person.
whoever you are. even if you're just the void. someone has to know.
i know now what it feels like to talk to someone to victimizes herself in every situation, who pushes off her pain onto someone else, who looks to you to make decisions then blames you for them later.
i know that girl, now.
it's an out of body experience.
and hell, i get it now.
*******.
i can't believe you were able to stand me.
and good on you for not.
so void, black hole of nothingness, ask them. ask me.
i've ******* changed.
and you know what's even better? i don't need your validation, and not in a rude way.
i'm just finally here to validate myself instead of stealing it from your bruised lips.
because i'm me and i'm strong and i'm here if you need me.
but if not?
i'll be okay.
and it feels so ******* good to say that i don't need to worry anymore.
so call if you need me. hang up if you don't.
kind of a note to someone? i dunno. it just feels so empowering to not be who i was, the person who messed so many friendships and lives up. i'm in control and it honestly is so liberating. so i'm here for you and will open up anytime. but if not, wish ya the best XD
xmxrgxncy Jan 2016
Please, take the handle
Of this forsaken candle
And teach how to burn...

Long ago, it couldn't handle,
this poor forgotten candle,
The way that love does ache and does burn...
xmxrgxncy Apr 2017
i felt them sputter in and out of life
between my fingers
little tails twitched-twitc-twitched
then lay still and dormant as a bulb in winter.
fur glistened with blood and i wondered
what it means to have life
and why god has means to take it away.
lives are like candles,
blow on them too hard and they sputter out.
only those narcissistic enough to relight themselves
stay here on this earth and keep
burning away in pain until they're naught but
ashes on the ground. or in it.
so i'll light a light for the lights that died
in my hands last night,
the stench of afterbirth and sour blood
infiltrating every sense i have.
i will not soon forget that dismal dark.
piglets and their mother died last night. i had to help butcher the mom's body and i am so sickened i can barely function....
xmxrgxncy May 2017
reaching out and realizing no one is there
realizing the one thing you're running from
is your own mother
xmxrgxncy Nov 2016
Gone are the tails,
the shimmering whales,
gone are the watery sheens,

absent are mermaids
and absent, her trade,
told 'neath the blue and green sea,

quiet are sea maps
and quiet are *****
that conduct and yell and keep time,

silenced are wet niches
and silenced are witches
that spellbind within the dark brine.

But on songs will twirl
in the soul of the girl
that coils the gold strands together,

and beat the drums will
with a pulse in the still
that holds in our young hearts forever.
we just finished a production, and I'm so sad. It's like a part of me is missing...it's another step towards leaving, moving upwards with my life. and it couldn't be scarier.
CAT
xmxrgxncy Jan 2016
CAT
She's a CAT.
     -Just a cat?
Nope, a CAT.
     -What's that?

It's the cool, calming sense she carries to all she knows and loves,
it's the able-bodied awesomeness she wears as she does her favorite hat,
It's the terrifically tight hugs she gives, warm like woolen gloves.

See, that's what makes her Allie.
     -*And the best kind of CAT at that.
About a good friend, love her so much.
xmxrgxncy Jul 2016
Angel, again?
If you only knew the secrets
this fence barricades from your mind
dear one.

The higher the fence, the higher the fly
Some make it over, some crash and die
there is no alternative to what God will decide
As Mama says, we're just along for the ride

Family, not present, I understand.
But inwardly, they're there.

Do not tear open your heart
in the hopes they'll become more visible
They'll rather slip out, like wisps of fog
Never to be seen once they hit the sun

Perhaps I can be
what you lack?
19 year old me
does not hold a candle to the
candle a mother burns within the heart of her child

But ...I may endeavor to try?

My  name....
....is Cherie.
xmxrgxncy May 2016
Do you know
Your words
Are disobedient?

They defy gravity and fly off the page
Racing up and down my spine like wild horses

Just tell me once and for all
If this is real....
Pinch me.
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