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Nigel Morgan Dec 2012
‘This is a pleasure. A composer in our midst, and you’re seeing Plas Brondanw at its June best.’ Amabel strides across the lawn from house to the table Sally has laid for tea. Tea for three in the almost shade of the vast plain tree, and nearly the height of the house. Look up into its branches. It is convalescing after major surgery, ropes and bindings still in place.
 
Yes, I am certainly seeing this Welsh manor house, the home of the William-Ellis family for four hundred years, on a day of days. The mountains that ring this estate seem to take the sky blue into themselves. They look almost fragile in the heat.
 
‘Nigel, you’re here?’ Clough appears next. He sounds surprised, as though the journey across Snowdonia was trepidatious adventure. ‘Of course you are, and on this glorious day. Glorious, glorious. You’ve walked up from below perhaps? Of course, of course. Did you detour to the ruin? You must. We’ll walk down after tea.’
 
And he flicks the tails of his russet brown frock coat behind him and sits on the marble bench beside Amabel. She is a little frail at 85, but the twinkling eyes hardly leave my face. Clough is checking the garden for birds. A yellowhammer swoops up from the lower garden and is gone. He gestures as though miming its flight. There are curious bird-like calls from the house. Amabel turns house-ward.
 
‘Our parrots,’ she says with a girlish smile.
 
‘Your letter was so sweet you know.’ She continues. ‘Fancy composing a piece about our village. We’ve had a film, that TV series, so many books, and now music. So exciting. And when do we hear this?’
 
I explain that the BBC will be filming and recording next month, but tomorrow David will appear with his double bass, a cameraman and a sound recordist to ‘do’ the cadenzas in some of the more intriguing locations. And he will come here to see how it sounds in the ‘vale’.
 
‘Are we doing luncheon for the BBC men? They are all men I suppose? When we were on Gardeners’ World it was all gals with clipboards and dark glasses, and it was raining for heaven’s sake. They had no idea about the right shoes, except that Alys person who interviewed me and was so lovely about the topiary and the fireman’s room. Now she wore a sensible skirt and the kind of sandals I wear in the garden. Of course we had to go to Mary’s house to see the thing as you know Clough won’t have a television in the house.’
 
‘I loath the sound of it from a distance. There’s nothing worse that hearing disembodied voices and music. Why do they have to put music with everything? I won’t go near a shop if there’s that canned music about.’
 
‘But surely it was TV’s The Prisoner that put the place on the map,’ I venture to suggest.
 
‘Oh yes, yes, but the mess, and all those Japanese descending on us with questions we simply couldn’t answer. I have to this day no i------de-------a-------‘, he stretches this word like a piece of elastic as far as it might go before breaking in two, ‘ simply no I------de------a------ what the whole thing was about.’ He pauses to take a tea cup freshly poured by Amabel. ‘Patrick was a dear though, and stayed with us of course. He loved the light of the place and would get up before dawn to watch the sun rise over the mountains at the back of us.’
 
‘But I digress. Music, music, yes music . . . ‘ Amabel takes his lead
 
‘We’ve had concerts before at P. outside in the formal gardens by AJ’s studio.’ She has placed her hands on her green velvet skirt and leans forward purposefully. ‘He had musicians about all the time and used to play the piano himself vigorously in the early hours of the morning. Showing off to those models that used to appear. I remember walking past his studio early one morning and there he was asleep on the floor with two of them . . .’
 
Clough smiles and laughs, laughs and smiles at a memory from the late 1920s.
 
‘Everyone thought we were completely mad to do the village.’ He leans back against the gentle curve of the balustrade, and closes his eyes for a moment. ‘Completely mad.’
 
It’s cool under the tree, but where the sunlight strays through my hand seems to gather freckles by the minute. I am enjoying the second slice of Mary’s Bara Brith. ‘It’s the marmalade,’ says Amabel, realising my delight in the texture and taste, ‘Clough brought the recipe back from Ceylon and I’ve taught all my cooks to make it. Of course, Mary isn’t a cook, she’s everything. A wonder, but you’ll discover this later at dinner. You are staying? And you’re going to play too?’
 
I’m certainly going to play in the drawing room studio on the third floor. It’s distractingly full of paintings by ‘friends’ – Duncan Grant, Mondrian, Augustus John, Patrick Heron, Winifred Nicholson (she so loved the garden but would bring that awful Raine woman with her). There’s  Clough’s architectural watercolours (now collectors want these things I used to wiz off for clients – stupid prices – just wish I’d kept more behind before giving them to the AA – (The Architectural Association ed.) And so many books, first editions everywhere. Photographs of Amabel’s flying saucer investigations occupy a shelf along with her many books on fairy tales and four novels, a batch of biographies and pictures of the two girls Susan and Charlotte as teenagers. Susan’s pottery features prominently. There’s a Panda skin from Luchan under the piano.
 
These two eighty somethings have been working since 8.0am. ‘We don’t bother with lunch.’ Amabel is reviewing the latest Ursula le Guin. ‘I stayed with her in Oregon last May. A lovely little house by the sea. Such a darling, and what a gardener! She creates all the ideas for her books in her garden. I so wish I could, but there’s just too much to distract me. Gardening is a serious business because although Jane comes over from Corrieg and says no to this and no to that and I have to stand my corner,  I have to concentrate and go to my books. Did you know the RHS voted this one of the ten most significant gardens in the UK? But look, there’s no one here today except you!’
 
No one but me. And tea is over. ‘A little rest before your endeavours perhaps,’ says Clough, probably anxious to get back to letter to Kenzo Piano.
 
‘Now let’s go and say hello to the fireman,’ says Amabel who takes my arm. And so we walk through the topiary to her favourite ‘room’,  a water feature with the fireman on his column (mid pond). ‘In memory of the great fire, ‘ she says. ‘He keeps a keen eye on the building now.’ He is a two-foot cherub with a hose and wearing a fireman’s helmet.
 
The pond reflects the column and the fireman looks down on us as we gaze into the pool. ‘Health, ‘ she says, ‘We keep a keen eye on it.’
 
The parrots are singing wildly. I didn’t realise they sang. I thought they squawked.
 
‘Will they sing when I play?’ I ask.
 
‘Undoubtedly,’ Amabel says with her girlish smile and squeezes my arm.
This is a piece of fantasy. Clough and Amabel Williams-Ellis created the Italianate village of Portmeirion in North Wales. I visited their beautiful home and garden ten miles away at Brondanw in Snowdonia and found myself imagining this story. Such is the power of place to sometimes conjure up those who make it so.
Flesh scaling mossy rock,
trepidatious toes clamber on.
Seraphic sunlight beating down on naked back.
Approaching the edge of all fears.

Standing on the pinnacle.
Surrounded by the best friends in  the world.
all there is to do is let go forever.
brace the fall, elongate with majesty.

Rhythmic heart, beating on all cylinders.
Di Dum: Fear
Di Dum: Anxiety
Di Dum: Stress


End of celestial descent.
Arrival in ecstasy.
Piercing icy blue water,
rinsing away all woes.

Circles of smiles,
and unprecedented unity.
In nothingness,
therein lies the foundation of all things.


Euphonious drum of waterfall.
harmonious chimes of birdsong.
Velvet blanket of heart warmth.
Soul soothing of clear water.

Utopian infinities crystallizing.
Dream't like folklore and now realized.  
Naked as born with no things and everything.
Tight clothed and old with many things and nothing.
This is based on a dream i had, that was really the greatest dream that i can recall.

I don't think that i can quite articulate the beauty that i felt, so i may need to try again.

I've tied that in with a lot of themes about simply being human and how it's in the true human aspects of love one can find most happiness.

What with all the constant superficial media and consuming technology, it becomes very easy to forget; people are meant to be loved and things are meant to be used. Yet things are being loved and the people being used.

I think this adheres to a lot of the stress and anxieties that we face in our current times, and this is why i really wanted to reinforce that taking that leap and letting go, can release some of that. When you are truly in the moment, your fears are gone.

Daniel Allinson
Jae Elle Jul 2012
a mildly disturbed mind
with a proper dose
of humor
draws her in
as the light of a fire
would to a trepidatious
moth


she can hear both sides
speak of the future
as if it were a
heaven

days in the mountains
days by the sea side
promised to her
as a medicinal solution
to her dead-set dark
& cynic prophesies

she sees no peace within it
'cause if all you got to
give is sanity
then she'll jump the
cliff
or she'll walk the
plank


just give a little
reality
& tell her there's
no hope
so let's drink and
sing all the good songs
until we
die
Julian Feb 2019
12/30/2018

The eloquence of listless years is lost on heady overweening heels that submerge reality in a cavernous of oblique light shrouding the dark mysteries to come. Axiomatic but refractory we swim and tread danger and peril because the unsaid screams for awakening as the roosters outfox the owls and completely change history based on evil skullduggery that awaits the gainsay of titans compromised in security but elevated over the doldrums of quotidian thought. It is my solemn forbearance and consistent steadfast prayer for alacrity and industry to conquer the dudgeons of incurred opprobrium to clinch a beatific convivial festivity for a time-informed claque of leaders that delight in simplicity but dissemble their true disguise in open shark-infested waters. Salvage the impositions of the many and cull the best to anoint their favor on uncertainties improbable but likely as the discerning will master reality rather than be the dross of yesteryear. We swarm with importunate guilds of serfdom to surrender their edifice to the chiselers that operate and extravagate beyond bounds established by parochial priggishness that is a flagging patriotic insistence on drenched graft dank with the mildew of balkanization but not entirely as reproachable as some relics of the ancient law detest with misguided guile and paranoiac sophistry that is a precarious canker of otiose tastes drawling on with misinformed skepticism. The hounding gray in the pallor of alpenglow light ennobles the concatenations of wistful dread but at the same time esoteric flavor that enriches the emblazoned gallantry of the few to become the mainstay of all relevant considerations. Wish upon a coruscating menagerie of miscegenated aboriginal languages that have always abided in the shadows but exist in brevity among the elite coteries that coddle the world in its infancy away from the artifice of exegesis and the importunate placations of swarthy umbrageous shadows that exist apart from the factitious apartheid of race and gender. We must stand united as brethren enduring the tribulations of human vicissitude to abhor the diseased rhetoric of pandered puritanism amalgamated with aleatory financial alarmism calculated to swindle the dilapidation of penury that burns as a smoldering conflagration of concerted ignorance leading to ochlocratic determinism rather than a whispered percolated pedigree that drowns sorrows but simultaneously strands the pariahs of time in insular self-reflection unbecoming of an age that demands an importunate, ubiquitous and outspoken corporate altruism not superintended by a bloviated and tumescent dysnomy of congregated botched bureaucracies that encroach with a daunting donkey commandeered by headless horsemen who are only known by pennames and cognomens that flinch at the demise of their undeserved anonymity. We use valor as an instrument to prevent a scuttled vessel of a seaworthy humanity slinking along a very balmy coast as we await future instructions at the apropos time for a simpatico relegation of commercial collectivism. We expect instead a demassified world to enliven the dialectic of epistemology itself and renew covenants long ago moribund in their ragged and wretched desuetude that they may be vanquished as vestigial habiliments to the tatters of sloppy abnegation leading to a swollen piety that dares not to pretend but simultaneously believes so much in its pilloried hubris that it provides erasure for the secular enlightenment of a messianic time. Squalor and riddled eccentricity drive a brackish but saccharine attempt to homogenize the pastures that we graze upon but look no further than a bequeathed divine providence of smirks rather than the jibes of sneering ostentation. Whisper you fame rather than declaim against the arraignments of a scuttled pettifoggery of miscegenated justice that embroils foreign wineskins for domestic turmoil rather than the demotic enlightenment of the abrogation of inequitable laws that preserve the totemic dissolution of society rather than the prized ameliorative enlightenment of science informed by faith and faith beckoning the clerisy to seek supernal wisdom and furtive swank to reconnoiter the righteous and jettison renegades imploring for a piebald blinkered apostasy on a rudimentary subconscious level but never realizing their effrontery is gravid in a heedless ignorance interpolated by menacing secular hobgoblins that ransack barren treasure and cherish it as a trinket for a chrysocracy that is specious rather than veridical. Barnstorm for justice but appoint the abeyance of foolhardy prescience so that the enigmas of time can beckon their own deliverance through a culmination of waggish flickers rather than the kowtowed toadies of a quidnunc reality divorced from proper temperance outmoded but thriving among those that disavow newfangled foudroyant spectacles. Always and with alacrity indulge the gladiatorial sportsmanship of a zeitgeist beyond contention as the paragon for livid dreams and lurid imaginations to drive the mutiny against plebeian ears and purblind eyes. Live for the eternal present with providence and forswear the vestigial fossils of flippant eras domineered by dragooning fictitious sentiments buttressed by castles built against the encroachment of the imaginary foes of vassal states that submerged the world in a fideism that rejects too many axioms of modernity to vie for preponderance. The government is not irreproachable, but it is a primeval reflection of the propensities of an aggregated society flippant against choice wisdom of the ageless Constitution that is peremptory proof of the divine providence of sempiternal liberty. People that chide against liberty because they fear precarious cankers that endanger from a distance because of their swollen specters need to uphold a commitment to a wistful remembrance of tragedy but a sturdy ruddy optimism to perdure and prosper on this greenest of worlds for both the greenhorn and the expert alike. Never kowtow before the altar of avarice and always pilfer resourceful contemplation in the respite of quiet times that engage our best faculties to awaken rather than slumber. Recruit the collective imagination to superintend chaos and the leviathan becomes tamed because it requires human synergy in both prosperous times and desperate measures to foment the earth with the brontides of due warning simultaneously murky and misleading but always reflective of an irenic pasture of withering sheep and abundant shepherds. Regal promises have always loitered in the penumbras of the elite but now is the time for absolution rather than scattershot contumely. We believe in the federal way and the state farm system and we don’t believe in foreign monoliths becoming the pasquinade of slippery hebetude that ensnares the immobilized futilitarianism of ignorant creeds and divisive claptrap. Barnstorm together for God and liberty as those two principles-however squandered they might be by listless speculation that doesn’t hinge upon the concerted subaudition of the deeply fathomed sources glistening with profundity- will clinch a victory for the beatific future of a guided humanity rather than the guileless intemperance of choleric fools who wage conflagration against only their own plodding ignorance rather than reaching with outstretched hands and tenacious grasps to invent the future according to the helical perfection of the past. May God rule forever on earth! A prosperous earth! An Earth filled with pleasure and an Earth that approximates heaven more closely every day. Amen  



12/31/2018

Riddled by bewildering supernal designs of an ineffable splendor that drapes reality in iridescent cloaks of rigorous and strenuous limber we trounce through the effigies of a profaned pasquinade to gallop through the doldrums of time for the allocated investment in the refined human condition to exacerbate the declension of foes but link the Abrahamic faiths with taciturn reflections and wizened countenances beckoning a newfangled harmonious destiny. Livid are the naysayers who proffer gainsay with insouciance and flippant sorcery to denigrate sacrosanct axioms with persnickety maxims that are only auriferous when viewed through a refracted entropy of disdainful speculative mutiny against propriety in values and stances. I sidle through a refractory zeitgeist despised for my aureate temerities against the chided condemnation of those who flout so-called gobbledygook because they lack stringent acuity and pale to the polish of ennobled grace that anoints favor and felicity on the laurels of an age very intransigent against latitudinarian capriciousness that will one day ransack the world of its flickered graft and its paltry obsessions with quondam gaucheries. A house divided against itself will flounder because of titanic pressures of oblique balkanization that is opaque only to the hounded ignorance of wishful but labile people who wage acerbic gambles against the delegated authors of an aborning covenant for irenic reconciliation in a blinkered piebald world. I like to saunter in private with my insistent lucubrations because I know the majestic gestures of jest are more bountiful in their fecund harvest than any circumlocution of blunt poetasters who calumniate the verve of self-made upstart grandeur that I brandish at every opportune occasion to pilfer my due inheritance from the coffers of a self-fulfilling fatalism divorced from solipsistic monisms and the denigrations of the futilitarian quest to deprive sustenance in the exercise of deft skepticism disempowering the perspicacity of miserly mendicants who treasure their science but pale in their trepidatious momentary twinges of faith that are insincere and unctuous abominations against a steadfast God that wallops our misery with the lurched progress of human amelioration wrought by the succor of alien wizardry beyond even the most quixotic imaginations of people who in their prolixity miss the pithy glib sacraments of a terse and burlesque pragmatism. I simper because I know about carbon emissions statistics with hearty gusto and a convivial banquet of amalgamated personalities and wraiths that emanate from the ether of the 12th dimension of reality: transdimensional interspecies sentience. I wrangle on the outskirts of a bustled city embroiled in a relegated civil war entangling plebeians and plutocrats but not engorging any coffers in a zugzwang destined for pejorative scuffles rather than synergistic revivals of the human fraternity, a consensus about intellectual meliorism that will fossick with due efficiency cognitive resources frittered away in the respite of laziness and the abeyance of prospective diligence to conquer rather than waylay with furtive gambits of appeasement. Everyone need to leapfrog beyond the quotidian plane by indulging the oneiromancies of self-efficacy aggrandized by presidential favors and collective efforts to unite the 16th version of reality with the penultimate version of reality. For the ultimate version of reality is corporeal death upon which we are transplanted unto an ethereal dimension beyond contemplation without the horological diminishment of wizened age.  We trudge in the miserly conditions imposed by pharaohs of pettifoggery that swindles with blustery graft and strident intimidation of the audacity of hopes and dreams to foment the requisite fin de seicle zeitgeist that deserves more of a heyday with the revivalism of nostalgic entertainment against the opprobrium of inferior tastes facile in formulaic conformity but deficient in its nutritive enrichment of beatific festivities that traverse the earth at lightspeed because of the vehement energy of foudroyant amazement is beyond contagious when conveyed through the dexterous vehicles of more centralized rather than skeletonized organization. The bonhomie of a copacetic future demands the interpolation of scrupulous adherence to authoritative dictums but the laissez-faire demagoguery of titans trouncing the ragamuffins of cacestogenous upbringing in a miserly husbandry that stunts the stilted imaginations of formalism rather than bequeathing a seminal insemination of a future hybridized race mechanized but humanized simultaneously to accomplish what would once seem impossible that now looms considerable with the democratization of the furtive at a faucet’s trickling pace to empower the future to heed the past and the pastors to revere the eschatology of final conditions rather than a favoritism for aboriginal barbarisms created by the snare of hobgoblin phantasms that exist only to make us tremulous rather than swanky. May God bless this great green earth with many decades of prosperity to come and heap plaudits on the intellectuals fighting the fight against simpleton groupthink. Have a very festive New Year!
Flexing a 155-160 Verbal Expressive IQ
Bill Guy Jun 2012
There is the saint and the unwanted
The older brother, the hard worker, the good guy, the genius, and the unknown
These are the perceptions, but also the only certainties

The saint is a *****
The unwanted, looming gratification
The older brother, an experiment

The hard worker, the good guy, and the genius are all that belong
The unknown is shaded by trepidatious illusions

All are a tree
the moon in your eyes
the stars in your heart
your red lips open in a drunk smile 
in a trepidatious waiting
for a dawn that you still  didn’t see
for a sunset that you still didn’t  live
you're waiting
that the sun will warm you
that the sea will lull you    
you're waiting
crossed by a subtle pleasure ..
an excited fear .. 
that everything vanishes
as in a dream upon awakening
but the dawn
the sunset
the heat
the sea
so yearned for ..
worthless now !
finally
you feel
slipping on your rainbow
a kaleidoscopic emotion
while your eyes stars at his
both closed in a bubble
Dark shadows move, fro and twain,
From twin heights that tower, merging into one.
Center your delight 'neath the far flung moon
Curved in crescent hook that lights the vale.
Breathe smoky spheres that quiver like anxious tendrils,
Fruit of the vine ripened to a sweetness sickn'd,
the weight of breath falls slow.
And trepidatious,
The twigs that shake and shamble, twitch and snap,
'Neath the dewy growth, impatient and unworthy,
The flash of lust and danger, now, a fear, instills.
trf Feb 2018
MY build to suit mind is designed for disappointing,
a warehouse space of dim lights, taunted by an l.e.d. retrofit,
TREPIDATIOUS, unable to sign my life's lease to own,
YEARS spoiled like produce, a dumpster gratefully digests.
I was 7, a little league southpaw, my arm, accurate on the mound.
PRACTICE of carelessly skipping stones over invulnerable ponds.
that day, the equation was misaligned, numbers squared roots and
CAUSED the answer to spawn seismic ripples of infinite affects.
it was the split second that was carelessly skipped and
THIS boy's vulnerable retina, the invulnerable pond.
although I was the expert marksman, I begged William not to Tell,
SO he blindly obliged my apple-shot withdraw request,
NOW spoiled produce my dumpster won't gratefully digest.
WHAT i regret most is not saying, William. Tell.
my trepidatious years I practice caused this so now what
all your life
you expected something
you walked
you fell
you raised
your mind turned
on an invisible horizon
a worthless trepidatious
waiting
neglected
disappointed
aged
waiting
that silently moves away
a cold face
like the flickering flame
of a consumed candle
hot wax
that trickles
in cold tears
motionless
Deana Luna May 2016
a synesthete
i swallow our memories in color
pink when you touched my tattoo for the first time
your fingers sticking to each line as if the ridges were stairs you were careful walking down
as if i was something you were ever trepidatious about.
grey for seeing you again in the car
with rap blasting louder than my thoughts
i was thankful for that
green for lying on your velvet couch
clutching myself so i didn’t fall apart
all over your apartment
careful not to leave an arm in
your bedroom
my stomach on your kitchen chair
.a rainbow.
prickly beads of sweat around my eyes
that is not what you noticed
instead oceans of what you needed
from me.
grey grey . grey . a sunny sort of rain.
a gloomy apetite.
i keep finding poems written so long ago / might as well post them .
SøułSurvivør Jun 2016
subconscious thoughts ~ dark and deep
as a quarry pond at midnight ~~~~~~~~
~~~~~moon eclipsed ~ stars burnt out ~
supernovas that were an event horizon
eons ago ~~~~~ trepidatious footsteps ~~
they echo dankly as pebbles fall into
oblivion ~~~ no ripples ~~~~
~~~ water like molasses ~~~
consuming them utterly
far far far far under
the surface lie
the entities
which
need
no

light*

this

way

there

be
-

MONSTERS


SoulSurvivor
(C) 6/7/2016


~~~


have

you

ever

had

a

dream

that

haunted

you

?
Deana Luna Apr 2016
just a walk
trepidatious and slow like
molasses
mirin simmering in a pan until it evaporates
concentrate
on your arms
my fingers pushing in
designer label dizzy
a falling tenderness
blame it on the music
a word is born between lips like bubblegum
expanding at the sound
the familiar bitterness
an overwhelming
growing chew
Eric W Feb 2015
I seek to express that which cannot,
perhaps ought not,
be expressed.
I seek to find the culvert
which allows, without folly, the
articulation and the metrification of
my woes and my bows,
to you.
Ah, the woe!
That you shall flitter and flutter and fly
away
to the place that is neither here nor there,
but certainly not
here.
A place in between the pages of which
dutifully record my
fear.
A place so far within the chasms of my,
but not only my, mind
where it is (was) dark and chilling,
a place to sometimes find the
bout of the unwilling.
A place to remain
insane
in constant pain,
as I.
A place.
A place which so elegantly
falls
away
at the mere mention of...
wait.
Please!
I implore you of your presence,
please.
But I shan't beg, no,
for you will certainly begone if I mistake
thee for a comman.
So I seek to express that which cannot
be expressed.
I seek not to cage, but to
so deeply swoon you and shower upon
the rightness of our pairing that anything else is
unthinkable.
But!
First I must prove such to myself,
beyond a shadow of a doubt,
that what I seek to prove
is something of a move
to the ultimate righteousness of the vast
universe.
But I must also consider the
curse.
The curse which must foul all things
with trepidatious verse!
The curse which must beguile and
tear asunder all that is beautiful
and all that I hold dear!
The curse which always brings the
forever loathing, cooing fear!
No!
I will consider you, curse,
but no longer is your power meaningful.
No longer shall I stay trapped
in the throes of my
ever-darkening think-sphere.
No longer shall I remain transfixed upon
the betwixt,
no longer shall I lie and say
no longer.
For I know no is not an option.
I know I am cursed,
and no amount of solitary determination will
ease my mind,
but you.
You are cursed also.
I see the struggle in thine eyes
which seer in the brightest fire this
world has ever known.
I see that which you keep locked away,
from the world,
but not from me.
The ambivalent mistrust of all things which
seek to know anything, even the smallest detail
of your singular life.
I see it.
I see you.
Within you,
I see me.
Within me,
I see you.
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
The TimeStreams are overlapping and Echoing,
Rebounding and resounding; slapping against my forehead and background.
The new fluidity of music and speech is incredible -
No longer the stuttering, spluttering, crawling gasps -->
Out of the abyssal Ocean and into the wading seas:
Seven in all - or so I'm lead to believe - nothing over my kneez.
The land looks promising - it's verdant green and vivid -
But seems to recede as I approach - Knight walker/explorer.
However, I'm too stubborn to quit now, regardless my trap;
This punctuated evolution of the Mind and Consciousness;
The instantaneous recognition of Oneself in Another -->
Another Male Voice, Lineage, Genetic Line, Protecting His Her;
Another Lightening Rod of Mankind saying, "Here I Am!"
"Feel free to look upon my Exemplar of Maleness,
And please, please pay attention to how I treat Her."
"In a spaciously vacuous Universe, We - the Male
Progenitors -  are few and far between, totally out-numbered.
As such, We have a responsibility to Our Collections."

From what's been courteously displayed,
I'm thrilled and awed; and trepidatious and excited -->
And Happy to visit the Locals in their Locals as Visitor;
As Guest --> I've accepted the Challenges that nearly
Crushed me into oblivion, now I'll await concrete Invites.
23/2/2014
The Devil's Advocate, Day 8, Concord Mental Health Centre
Jurtin Albine Nov 2018
Whether here, across the table from us
Or they're just a fading rememberence
The radiant truth burns brightly as thus
The stars must confess of their existence

Somewhere, far away, linger thoughts actions
Told through the universe's consciouness
Which are now freely dancing vibrations
Enticing souls with their vivaciousness

And here we are; the long lost counter parts
Lighting the till where time taxed the stars tolls
While the trepidatious mourn hums it's heart
We make our seperate ways as complex wholes

Yet as far fetched as this story all sounds
We are reflections in the stars rebounds
RJP May 2019
Dawn a constant drunk, waves modernity on,
Nights in purple doze, while head in rags’ sat,
Mind pats window pane, sky occupied, flat
Hangs the figures that push plague, condensation
Outside is hugged in damaged and breathless car park clots.

Close the arriving scenes depress, far and close by,
Screaming seagulls sing dreams scattered wide,
Cuts the closing of now yesterday’s hope
Soul-bruise rates sit low tonight.

Danger plays path fields bedsheets house
Graceful clock plays dropped fate in loft
Echos hand by hand  between beams
Downstairs door lock snapped atoms ring
Floorboards creak quake trepidatious
Eyelids meet strange death amusements
Waiting gun hyped howls air tight
Rail, tracks, interrupted delight.
Metrical rework of earlier poem
Life began with expectation
Tending to the barren bed
Painful hope and disappointment
Driving each repeat attempt

Joyful prayer and jubilation
Welcomed in a budding shoot
Joined by leafy, sibling heads the
Crowning young boldly unfurled

Instinct nurtured their progression
Soft hands stroked each silken leaf
Revelling in propagation
Wonder forged Taurean strength

Soon each seedling sprouted high and
Outgrew its familial crib
Tendrils stretching boldly out
Testing, straining boundaries

Cupped in trepidatious fingers
Nervously each found its place
Being swaddled and surrounded
Ceded saplings confidence

Basking in the sunlit bedding
Independence spread its roots
Yet still needing reassurance
Cautious in fresh liberty

Branching out, each budding flower
Cultivated character
Crimson fire, cocky cobalt,
Mellow blonde with golden hue

Satisfaction smiles over
Burgeoning maturity
Vigilent, maternal counsel
Stakes up blooming confidence

Predators surround each blossom:
Pestilence apocalypse
Constant, careful conservation
Safeguards childish ignorance

Basking in the garden’s beauty
Watching bees promote rebirth
Contemplating life’s real purpose
She smiles at nature’s knowing plan
This is a poem inspired by and a tribute to my mother.
What works, what doesn't? Does it make sense?
Max Barsness Aug 2018
The ocean is now far
It's calm
It's lore
Far resigned
Frothing
& overcast
Poor Mighty Joe
Who believed
In the wayward farce
Of sky
& hearth
Waffling tongue first
Upon the spigot
An applejack gait
Childlike & trepidatious
In regards to you
But I am content

The rumbling is heard
Submerged in a greasy
Damp head of hair
Not like his
Not like hers
Gray
& unkempt
Like calk on the basin
Keeping the tide
From pouring over
Another glass
& it'll dry out
Here in the murky
2 feet of water
Red skin & brave
Wrinkles in time spilled
With every clink of the tumbler
Wrinkles in a mind revealed
But I am content

The bath runs hot
Bubbles & lavender multiply
Ice breaking in the steam
Tobacco crushed emotions
All tastes sweet
All desires salt
These are your things
The things
Which I am not supposed to believe
The passion that soaks up the dusk
The poison that sweats out the dawn
But I am content

To remind oneself
There is no thing
Stare at a mirror in the dark
Lack reflection
Breathe in the cracks
Til you can't tell them apart
Drip dry
& tremble
Buttressed by numb tiles
Take comfort
In the absence of
Fine linens
& the abundance of sweat
Be content

A free mind is
A boat out on the sea
In the calm of the storm
Open water & whitewash
The cost
Rowing out
Into a tub
Filled with dirt & soap
The faith of a filthy life
Watching the spiral
Following it
To that
Which waits beyond the walls & pipes
That blathering led you back into the cocoon
Slapping on the walls as you plunged into another drink
The penance
Is a man
Who is not what he thinks
But I am content
cosmo naught Apr 2020
-

imagine my surprise to see
a golden road, unfold, before me

where no path had been,
less had it leapt

with my every once-ashamed
and trepidatious
baby-step.



there are trees in the distance.


country-wide on either side.



and it's suddenly so bright? I adjust to the light,
blues and greens, to be sure; that is,
if I could see,
for the tears that could, might
source a new, fertile stream.


so I will start it, crawling;
grateful.
and I will take off running,
soon.
Aditya Roy Jul 2019
Finding lost lamps in the endless river
Finding lost paths in the endless sea of shiny slivers
Superimposed by cherry blossoms looking to get red, falling like the samurai wind
A metaphorical sword in the word of the kicking and rolling with the deracinated punches
Leers and steers, queers and the prayers comin' in the firm hands and the strutting souls that just can't make it through
Trembling and positive rhapsody, heartbeat flows through these terrible feelings with ease and rough edges
That gives me some relief in the ruins of a time past and has gone ne'er to wait on the cusp of time
The temerity of the weak people gets on the nerves of the patient who wait to test time
Loving you is like a trap, and the journey ends up in the faintest memory
These are things that make the spring lust, undermining everything that I remember

The sunset line can be mistaken for this road of hopeful faith
And opportunity comes with it, and some lost souls find their destiny awakening
Impression and departure, it's just case of arriving somewhere but here in the future of adversity
Fickle lady luck you've made my life, a metaphorical world
Just for a metaphysical girl, in case I just forget
How funny it is when life is times in perspective
Adding a soundtrack too can make it or break it
etudes, classical violins and broken dreams in this town of blue notes and thick smoke and purple groove
Haze doesn't work as a substitute for connective interfaces
Freedom to bucolic cygnets too truant to dream desire and demean
Swimming in the pool with the same ducks and ugly as cracked places
Traces of you, smoldering smitten semaphoring thoughts of someone close to you

Killjoy, repeat joy, you don't say; tell me more about your bebop and hip pop
Hip hop doesn't stop, until the groove is gone and the night as right
I guess I'm to blame for that rap music
Trepidatious isn't it being surreptitious, sounds silence in the dancing dark
Your mountain dog helps you awake in mended ways of a villainous version of systems and resuscitated governments
Of hootenanny, heralding the vernacular and jokes and veritable wine of aged humor, the dogs of the military take it all
Sharing it with the slightly avuncular makes it singularly appealing

Like a rat crossing the vegetations to look for slavery
Forging the plots of the bubonic pathos of plagued souls
Logical isn't how the rebirth died with a topical topsy-turvy thing called metaphors and teenage angst
Tranches and branches, stigmatize these sprigs of hovering forest of the streams of streaming rivers through the Conrad lands of radiance and splendor
Reminding of madness, barren words of the baroness, iridescent memory
Telling us only time could wait for us, and tell us to fly above all these vermins and scar tissues
Sermonize and call the heaven-sent, and ask for destiny awakening, in the crimson red, celestial bodies that resemble celadon
Love is true, till is you, that flows through the river in you
I could tell you till my face is a different hue, I dream of a better time in this place called reality
Reminding myself everything is in reverse, and distant memory is just the closest feeling I recount when each iambic meter states the verses of this timeless life  
Remember from the blues and the acropolis and metropolitan incriminating, all these people going across like fleeting figures of the literary imagination
I could care less, and leave this city too, this is a thought I keep
If I could run away from this destiny too if I wasn't sleeping at the new kid's place in this town, drinking on the borrowed time of strangers
Trenchant, turpitude and tocsin is the truth when it comes to freely loading all your murderous cases of reprise and flickering lamps
True is just me that thinks it's relevant to this germane generation following the natural order, calling it the new substance
Simply railing through this blazing road, I'm on fire
Intermission and comes transience
This hip hop is old and so is the talk of condolences, shot rappers for gold and fake names
Riches from rags, to make homes out of the outbound trembling time that scares common time
And talk of immediate memory, and thespian and tulips blossom similarly
Putting on an act, like the midnight pretenders bending midnight spoons
Surmise and I suppose to be yours if I could get over these brighter stars of the darkness
Make your magnum opus with the correction and subjective precision, that you would show an etherized patient
Terse and cursory, you're spontaneity only syncopates with the silence
The redaction of statements would be criminal and I would rather like your writing on some stolen notebook
Grasping and gaping Centauri, releasing gases like the solar chrome horses
Inane and intermittent, aren't these sunshine beams, God wouldn't want me to be a sagacious beam
In the unforgiven law of the supposed religious belief and the dream weavers, make of the same sky we share
They might mistake the distance of the Sun, for God's light shining on cues
So, says the man who sold the world, to the cumulus accord that governs the capricious desert
Surpassing this law takes some law and serfs, breakfast is served by the smurf-head
The sun shines on us all, especially those who have mouths to feed
And don't understand boulders, unsteady tears, and cologne
They revel in the thought of seeing sunshine on their weary shoulders the coalition of the hollow men
Country roads, hitchhiking, I'm lost on road called sunset free street, the straws burning
People ask me, why I never appear on this trailblazing cars and find a hilarious lintel saying "This way for Love."
Suppose, I should tell them that I'm famously private and I don't take rides from strangers and don't lend hands to those without money
Love talkin' about that sometime, honey
Sometimes is never and some semblance of the past that was fiduciary
Smug and shy, I'm not sure that guy brings me some childish dreams and inspired, stirring, and compelling stories
Sooner than expected
Trepidatious
Blessing
Me messing
With myself
My gift horse
Tongues are always checked
Aditya Roy Jul 2019
Lady Blue went with the thin air
So brushing up the ever-shining sun
The time that waits on my tombstone
The tropical sands that circle like the wind that
Except for the cash and flying paper planes, in the tending to the temporary
Trepidatious as ever the scared feeling is gone
If I make it, its cuts are too deep
I'm feeding closing to the creek, the line of the fishes in the ocean
The horizon of the rendition of hopeless liars
Looking like an enlightening bunch when they aren't welcoming
Libels and labels, I can take liberally
The labels stick to me like the lies you purposefully speak of
Often, these are recesses of the deceased that creep up
Like the tresses of destiny with hints of untouchable fate, and lady luck
The empty sky gladly offered my confusion and tenebrous crime
The crime was like a punished poor witness, unable to speak
If it had a voice, it would take me back to childhood desires
Each time, I was scared of violence and broken fingers
Holding hands and clutching my shoulders, like the wind in the sacred shore that flows
If you and your life, in the indignation of loss, that's why crime
Has no voice, and punishment is just a forced rhetoric
Lady Blue like the mirages and imminent condors that pass across the stained windows
Like inspiring weather and underwhelming rain, I miss my childhood
If I had gone out to play instead of smoking bleeding cigarettes and reading lifestyle magazines
This is a starter poem
Above is the beginning line
Others shall follow
Once it gets its legs
As it forages for the next rhyme
Taking baby steps
Word by word
Trepidatious
Hunting for that special bon mot
Just around the next phrase
Barreling toward my brain
Trying to relate
But only going so deep
Into the emotion underneath
Phantom647 Mar 2021
I'm afraid.
Afraid to be happy.
Afraid to be at peace.
Afraid to be calm.

But when I see you, I see a life without that fear.
I walk towards it, my whole being shaking.
Knowing that the future I've always dreamt of is here.
But it's that same future that I've always feared.

To know what I want, yet to be afraid to take it,
Is the cruelest form of suffering there is.
It is like having a hungry, empty stomach,
and a throat as wide as a tooth pick.

Yet, I march on, trepidatious as I might be.
For I see a beautiful life, just you and me.

— The End —