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the argument of the universe, ends the life of youtube sensation, caleb



in the great saturn club rings on thursday october 1 2015m peter sargent and ted bundy

had a very strong argument which really was beginning to turn nasty, first ted ******* paul berenyi

and snatched greame thorne and adam walsh, making their earth bodies really shook up

you see greame thorne is me, brian allan from canberra and adam walsh is some young man who was

killed by the parramatta terrorist and peter sargent came up to ted bundy, and said, stop this, i mean

you should stop this, and ted said, i am slowing the earth down, so you will be good to mind your own business

but peter said, neh, i don’t want to let you win, you see my earth body is a cool boy, never to be killed, you

will never get us ted bundy, ted bundy grabbed peter by the arm saying, watch what you say, buddy, but peter

really wanted to slow down teds reign, because this is weird what the world has been going through since you died

first you made brian allan a crazy person by making him tie himself up in a toilet in mitchell, and can’t you see he is suffering

too much from that stupid mistake your ghost made him do and it was awful to push his next door neighbour brendan down as well,

brian really liked him, and me, you made me **** myself when i was having problems that you caused, and ted said, but you are

enjoying being a cool boy now, don’t jeopardise it, dude, but peter kept on yelling blaming him for all the suicides that happened like

anthony, the mentally ill christian, and barry loughton as well as mark jones, and i know these deaths were normal, but you are the reason why

they are dead, ted, and i hate what you are doing to brian allan from canberra lately, he likes watching his grandmas next life annie be with slim dusty

who is hayley, and me who is caleb, but you are trying to **** him, by making his old school chin patrick enright, in his mind, tease him in his mind

treating him like his family, by making him lose interest in things, and peter told ted, he hates what you are putting in brian’s mind, by killing off all the

old fogies one by one, you see brian’s aunty pam developed a cancer of the lung, giving her no energy, she never smokes, and peter told ted that

he hates dads dellusional ghost trying to make brian write and think evil things about his father, and peter said, you will never get my current earth body

he plays baseball and really enjoys being a youtube sensation, peter said to ted bundy, you see what you are doing is destroying the world, including

my beloved canberra, where i met brian and chris allan, who played cricket with me, and i hate how you are making brian tease his dad with the poor people

i know he doesn’t want to be a rich ****, but some of the situations were very dodgy, and i want you to let brian allan be a man, ya know, i know he still likes

cricket despite of what he tells people, and ted bundy, at about 7 on the 1st october, struck caleb from bratayley down, by grabbing his cool kid, and tying him up

on the sun with paul berenyi and adam walsh and greame thorne, and the way he did this, was grab peter sargent by the arm and say, you are no longer a youtube sensation

by grabbing you, i **** off your youtube sensation life caleb, and burn your cool kid in the sun, you see peter, there is no heaven, and there is no hell, you see if you are a

nice kid, i will, put you on the sun, ready to suffer in your next life, you’ll never know, peter, i might bring you back to hole in the wall canberra, in a poor neighbourhood

you see peter, i am destroying the life of crocus’s current earth body, by giving him sore feet, and keeping the cool kids away from him, like brattayley, i know that brian’s

grandmother on his mothers side is there as annie, and slim dusty is hayley, and if they return after the funeral of caleb, i have powers to take the cool kid off

these kids, ted bundy said, because, what i was doing on earth, was turning people off, showing the world their fresh legs, peter said, let us go, ted bundy, please let us go

i will never lose my reign, and your next life will certainly know it, peter sargent, peter said, i will make sure, you suffer, and ted said, think about it, brian allan wants to be famous and living in adelaide

but money is keeping him here in canberra ok, so you will never get what you want, while you have to understand, even the rich people who are seldom getting what they want

in theory, are being bashed or murdered, or maybe even both, this world isn’t good, and that is because of me, ted bundy said and caleb is suffering, as he doesn’t want to be *******

to the sun, he wants to be with bratayley, to live to be old, and ted bundy said heh heh heh heh we will make4 brian allan suffer as he wants to give greame thorne is wish of being famous

trying to beat ted bundy forcing his old mate patrick’s teasing voice out of his head forever, but what is happening ted is saying, let’s make brian’s school friends watch the professionals

and laugh at brian, yeah this sounds radically awesome said ted, granny is with slim dusty through annie and hayley, but because of caleb being snatched from there to be tied to the sun

will bratayley return, or will ted bundy get what he wants, no technology for young people, and this is a hard battle, but we all must stop the ghost of ted bundy, by doing what we want to do

as long as it is good, and realise if we do things that is bad, it’s ted bundy that is enforcing it
preservationman Nov 2015
A fitness woman who had a boyfriend who didn’t train
But the love affair that did remain
The fitness woman being named Jennifer who always took care of her body even when she was in her teens
Yet Ted being her boyfriend really didn’t have any interest in exercise
But it was Fitness Jennifer that captivated Ted’s eyes
It wasn’t until Jennifer introduced Ted to a competing male bodybuilder named William
Ted Seemed Ah and noticed all his muscle detail protruding through his T-Shirt of William
Later Ted went home and gave a good thought that maybe he should try exercising and thought about William in giving him guidance
Fitness and muscle running through Ted’s mind
But will it convince Ted to exercise with the thought divined
Well barbells became Ted’s start in train
William who was a competing Bodybuilder to help Ted through various exercises in helping Ted establish his own physique
Well things were on go with the idea of mystique
In a span of two years, Ted now had a muscular physique that he could be proud of, and was thinking about stepping onto the Bodybuilding platform
Well Fitness Jennifer gave Ted all the encouragement he needed
Persuasion became defined into pursue
It was all the encouragement coming from Fitness Jennifer due
Ted stepped on stage for the first time, and was a little nervous, but when the music started and he started to pose, the audience gave a raw of applause and being totally amazed
He was standing next to other Bodybuilders who were more advanced
But Ted saw a vision, and wanted to take a chance
As names were being called out, there was a certain anticipati8on in how Ted did
Yet Ted felt he wasn’t going to win and it was the end
Suddenly Ted’s name was called out in first place
After all that there was no time to waste
Ted proposed to Fitness Jennifer right there on stage
Fitness Jennifer was very surprised and she said yes without any hesitation
The multitudes of applause
Fitness Jennifer and Ted kissed with a cause
Immediately, muscle became two heart shapes
Muscle being true love and the flexing of two doves.
aviisevil Dec 2015
Stan woke up in confusion, in midst of white almost blinding light,
The last thing he remembered was falling in the lake last night.

Ted was still screaming when he opened his eyes,
A moment ago he was sitting in his car blazing past a red light.


Stan saw ted and whispered in confusion
- " er, where am I ?".

Ted was confused himself but slowly replied
- " I think we've both died"


And at that moment a strange figure emerged from the light,
He had a long beard and was covered in white left and right.

The stranger whispered
- " I am god and I welcome you to the otherside".
He looked at ted
- "follow me my sweet child".


The two of them then walked through what felt like an eternity,
Still confused if what they were witnessing was indeed reality.

They came to a large gate and a deep pit on the ground,
There were rows of cubicles and men with files all around.

God turned to them and said
- " we'll go through your files and send you to heaven or hell "
A chill ran down their spine
- " if you have anything to say in-between, please do tell ".

God cleared his throat
"come forward who ever the hell Stan Bundy is"
Stan took a step and god began
- " you died last night when you got drunk and decided to fish ?.

- "aye, I think so" replied Stan.

God: " you ******' think so, do you think all this is for fun?".

Stan: " I..i don't..er..sir..i mean god.. I was drunk".


God: " whatever, so you are an atheist, Am I right ?"

Stan: " ah..yes.. I mean I was.. Now I am not..that i've seen you from my own eyes. "


God: " later on that but let's check out your profile.. So you have three kids, two dead parents and one wife".

God: " it reads here that you regularly donate to the orphanage"

Stan: " yeah."

God: " you have also helped four hundred and thirty nine people in your life out of pure kindness ".

God: " man O' man, you are directly responsible for bringing fifty two people out of darkness ".

God took a breath and said
- " seems like you are a kind decent man, you respect women, and have equal love for nature and all men ".

God: " ..and you also believe in ..wait..WHAT..equality for homosexuality....! "

Stan: " all men are children of god... I heard that was your philosophy".

God: " .. You think you are really funny don't you, eh punk!
- " i will not answer your question, you can call my attorney, you...you.. Kind little drunk!"


Stan: " but..i..see.."

God: " ENough..step forward ted!"

Ted was scared to death

God: ".. You died while speeding a red light, no kids, two dead parents and a dead wife ".

Ted: " yeah..."

God: " its says here that you killed her but it wasn't proven ".

Ted: " er..god.. You are god.. Don't You know everything "

God: " listen kid, I am far too busy..pardon my french ..to give a **** about you.. And your little things!"

God: " it says here that you were an addict, an abuser, a convict, a murderer and a clown..wait a minute a clown ?"

Ted: " I had a gig with small children"

God: " it says here that you were also a peodaphile.. ".

Ted "..yeah..a peodaphile clown ".

God: " oh that makes sense".

Ted: " but I served my time for the offence"

God: " yeah, yeah.. Whatever..."

God: " you also stole and hurt as many as one thousand two hundred and sixty nine"

Ted: " but I confessed and found you god, I was cleared of my crimes "

God: " by who ?".

Ted: " them priests, who are advocates of you".

God: " oh, I see".

Ted: " I always had faith and I was raised by the holy book "
-".. I hate homosexuality and condemned them as much as I could".


God: " that's impressive".

Ted: " I also despised the ones who don't believe in you, my faith for you is as pure as dew".

God: " yeah, but you have done too much wrong"

Ted:" ..but god.. After I found you I became strong".

Ted: " I was told that all men who believe in you are your children and who don't are satans men, women and children".

God: " I think we should let past be past, you had faith and you found me at last".

Stan: " but.. He is an evil man".

God: " shut the **** up, you don't believe in me..so my laws you won't understand".


Ted: " Stan is a blasphemous pig ".

God: " oh, calm down but I feel you kid"


And so the fate of these two young man was put on hold,
God sent his staff to earth and a survey was done.

The clear majority chose gods law over the rational verdict out cold
And thus in the end it was clear that ted had won.


God went over to Stan and whispered in his ears
- " I am but a mere belief of men, holy books define me and I can't be rational in the end".

And Stan spoke in tears
- " to have no faith but only kindness was what I thought you would always preach,
Even though I didn't believe in you, I always thought this would be what you would teach ".

And ted spoke in fear

- " and I embrace him the way I was told, it isn't my fault that people have made all of this a big joke ".

And thus Stan was cast in hell and ted was made in heaven,
God stared beyond the stars and there was a smile on the face of Satan.


And god whispered to the lonely spaces of the universe..




How a kind man is found ill,
-They speak of it in my will
Faith was never a weapon,
To by used to inflict pain and ****.

I was meant to be,
A guidance to be brave and love
In a world of stones and idols,
My words were used as a curse.

My name is taken in vain,
To spill blood and cut veins
And they seek me when it's done,
So they can be pure again.

I was but to be in thy hearts,
To be found in every face
But instead they found me in books,
Them idols and holy place.

And now I wonder,
who I am ?
Father of my child,
Or king of a man ?.
a big fight up in saturn causes cyclone activity in queensland and northern territory


you see ronnie biggs and ted bunny were having a quiet methane smoothie, in saturn

club rings, when they suddenly broke out in a fight, and this wasn’t just any fight, no, it caused

big cyclone activity in quuensland and northern territory and gold coast where my brother lives

has a bif of rough seas, and my dad is making sure that the cyclone doesn’t affect gold coast

and my brothers family, but ronnie biggs and ted bundy had no compassion, and really started

fighting with methane, which is causing the rough seas, and dad, is trying to keep the cyclone away

but, it looks like ted bunny and ronnie biggs are going to get their way, as they, poured methane all over

the saturn club rings, you see, what us cosmic sleepers must do, is alert australians living in these areas

to listen to authorities, and go to a safe place, for barry allan’s ploy to save this world, hopefully there won’t

be any casualties, and hopefully my brothers family will be safe, hopefully dad can save the gold coast

and keep his old family safe, it’ll be a hard job, you see ted bundy and ronnie biggs are still fighting, saying

let’s destroy the earth, let’s destroy australia first, let’s use methane to ruin the whole entire earth, you see

me as cronus is getting dad to help me keep the methane from forcing the cyclones to really **** people, and hopefully

nothing will be lost, but it will be ****** hard, because ted bunny and ronnie biggs are really ****** well *******

with everyone, as well as cronus, and knows how crocus’s current earth body is when storms come to cities his

brother or family lives in, decided to hopefully wreck cronus’s life, and his dad barry allan, is making sure he helps

cronus keep his younger son safe from this really fierce cyclone, i know i am going on and on saying the same thing

over and over, but this is a way, to bring all cyclone activity not to take too much control on queensland and northern territory

you see, ted bundy likes the idea of using methane to destroy the earth, to get crocus’s earth body, to SHUT UP, cause

you should listen to your voices when they said methane is a gas, and you can’t drink it, but you can fight it, and the methane

stopped dad from being a boy, but he says girls and boys are equal, and barry allan is fighting ted bundy and ronnie biggs

from having this cyclone get close to my brothers family, but ted bundy liked the idea of hurting the gold coast, and cause

problems for my brother, and barry allan and cronus are protecting the gold coast from a very fierce cyclone activity

and cronus and buddha YELLED OUT

UMMMMMMMMMM  STOP ted bundy and ronnie biggs from taking too much affect in cyclones in qld and northern territory

immmmmmmmmmm keep our family safe from this methane cyclone caused by ted bundy and ronnie biggs

ummmmmmmmmmm stop people swimming in dangerous waters, they will be doing what ted and ronnie want

you see, ronnie biggs and ted bundy are fighting each other, and dad and cronus who is me, are guarding anyone who is on the earth

making people too scared to not go in the water, ted bundy is enjoying people going in the water and so is ronnie biggs

because it makes what they are doing so very much right, and i tell ya i tell ya i tell ya, my father, is helping my previous life cronus

ME AND DAD MUST SAVE THE QUEENSLAND AND NORTHERN TERRITORY COASTLINE

ME AND DAD MUST SAVE THE QUEENSLAND AND NORTHERN TERRITORY COASTLINE

save it from the dreaded ronnie biggs and ted bundy, RIGHT NOW
ted bundy traps the people of hawker, last night by cutting their power in a half hour blackout

and the hawker residents are either walking around with torches or simply struggling, and ted

bundy is enjoying this a lot, you see he really wanted to silence the mood of brian allan’s vivid imagination

but brian believes in the cosmos and he is sending cronus up there to work on returning hawkers power

and silence the cosmic criminal ted bundy forever and ever, but ted bundy wanted to silence brian, as his mind

as his mind is trying to avoid the teasing of the past, like, today, ted bunny was trying to get a kid to smile at brian,

saying, your like us now man, because you have an imagination and brian said, bundy, i want you to free us hawker

residents, by returning their power or i will get a keg of methane and pour it right through your head, and then cronus

said, i have kidnapped cronus away from his boy, ya know, your theory of mens kids watch the sport and youtubes

better than foxtel, ya see you will suffer brian allan and suffer forever and ever and ever with the other hawker residents

and you will miss your precious baseball match on television, and brian forced cronus to please give hawker back their power,

please give back our power, cronus worked harder and harder to get hawkers power back, but ted bunny’s power won’t budge

and ted bundy is laughing from up in mars saying foolish hawker earthlings, i have put a dark side into each one of their houses

they are tripping over each other, cool as, meanwhile cronus is trying and trying to get hawkers power back, saying please come back,

please come back, while ted bundy said, no i don’t want it to come back, hawker will be in the dark forever, the foolish earthlings they are

they are trapped in my wing, then cronus noticed some damp ***** rocks which was from the river and unknown to cronus, ted bundy

set these wild waters free to knock the electricity pole over and cause rain thunder and lightning, and cronus put 2 and 2 together

and cronus has discovered what ted bunny has been doing to cause cyclones and lightning causing blackouts in hawker, and cronus

worked and worked to restore the power back, by putting his foot in the muddy mars hollow and sliding down it, and when he arrived

at the base, cronus put a rock in the thunder break, and ding **** the power is back on, but ted bunny ran away, saying ha ha ha ha

i am causing problems for cronus and earthlings, and this will happen and happen again, so try and listen to climate change and

keep a torch handy, because ted bundy isn’t the only evil we have up here, causing havoc like this
Kimberley Leiser Jan 2020
Sue was reading a raunchy magazine in bed; ted was cuddling up to her and watching telly
sue: "have you ever thought about trying some role play"
Ted: " what kind?"
Sue: "not the anime kind if that's what your thinking how about we just swap clothes - I wear what you wear and I'll be ted for the whole day and you wear what I'm wearing and be sue"
Ted: "Yeah we could try that sure sounds fun"
Sue: "brilliant I will leave you one of my dresses, some make up  and we will swap clothes for the whole day.

Sure enough the next day Sue left a note before she went to work on Ted's bed with a box. It had some of her lipstick, some eye shadow also a lovely floral dress for Ted to try while she was at work. It was a perfect size 14 fit; Ted prepared his make up the way sue usually did every morning and was surprised by the very person who was staring at him in the he mirror his once chiselled masculine features were now more delicate and feminine He shaved his beard off and even went as far as shaving his legs as instructed by her. He felt more excited as the day went on his **** growing in size he smelt sue's ******* they were fresh but there was a whiff of sue still in them when he put them over his **** he started to rub his **** up and down over her ******* then put on her fish net tights and finally her high heel shoes.

He secretly had fantasies of doing this  as a teenager but he often too scared of getting caught out by his mum. He got as far as trying on her make up wearing her perfume and trying on her tights and when she asked if he had seen them he said came up with an excuse they were lost in the washing machine.

Sue came back from work wearing Ted's shirt, his boxer briefs and trousers smelling of his lynx body spray. She even went as far as buying
a beard to reenact the role play of being Ted for the day it was very convincing and she looked how he looked there in another suitcase also stood a huge plastic ***** shaped perfectly as a ****

"Ted  " you know where that is going don't you"
"Sue "Yes I can't wait"

The transformations were complete Sue now as Ted started to caress sue kissing her neck and licking her ear lobes she gave out a shriek of delight speaking more in her most feminine voice. Ted then went down on her ******* her **** she felt hard as rock she could feel his breath warm and moist in full ******* motion; in this form Ted's short arms felt they grew longer and were more sturdy started to rub her **** up and down she gave out a squeal and *** more than what she usually did.  
Finally ted soaked sue's ******* in baby oil: give it a little cheeky lick before equipping his ***** **** into sue's ****. Sue held her breath for a few seconds as he pushed it in with some good throbbing movements she gave out a huge yelp and could then feel the ecstasy of *** spilling out
"Ted - wasn't that fun know you can go back to the way you was any time"
"Sue - Yeah I did enjoy it too will definitely do it again.
you see cronus and barry allan and buddha, has been battling the terrible forces

of cyclone marcia, which is caused by the cosmic fight of ted bundy and ronnie biggs

you see, brian allan was very tired, because he had to fight the terrible winds caused

by ted and ronnie, you see what happening is, kids and surfers and rock fishermen

and all sorts of the yobbos culture, have let ted bundy and ronnie biggs take full control

and ned kelly and the crazy ed gein, you see i just wanted to do tapestries, but, my eyes

were too tired, and i had to put power into these stupid people, who are doing all this

ya know rock fishing, and surfing, it’s herd to understand why, you see, at present i am

treated like a hooligan, but i am battling to keep the cyclones from really damaging the

earth, and there is some people stuck in an elevator, and kids near a poo,l, with high seas,

i know, it is a bit of excitement, but reality why are people allowing themselves to go out

and battle these evil spirits that caused this cyclone marcia, and elvis tried to keep these

evil spirits from killing with the powers of music, here goes

i wanna be, your teddy bear, you see i take out of my bag and cuddle you some more

i don’t wanna be a tiger, tigers play to rough, i don’t want to be a lion

the lion ain’t the type ya ought to love enough

i know you can be found sitting all alone

if you can’t come around, at least please telephone

don’t be cruel, just stop these spirits

i know it can be hard, but baby it it’s just you i am thinking of

and then elvis sang to ed gein ted bundy ronnie biggs and ned kelly

you guys are nothing but evil hound dogs, to trap these australians like this

you trap these australians thinking it’s fun to break the rules

you will never **** these people, no matter how stupid they are

you see these criminals can cause more problems, now they’re dead

ted bunny said, we are wrecking houses heh heh heh

we are forcing people to battle winds while surfing heh heh heh heh

the children caught near the rock pool, heh heh heh heh

people stuck in hotel elevator  heh heh heh heh

ted bundy said, i have everybody fooled,

then said he is glad he is dead, because nobody will believe in stories

ted bundy ronnie biggs ed gein and ned kelly making these cyclone victims

think it’s exciting to take the kids to look at the raging seas

yeah, ted bunny is loving every minute of this, every minute, every minute

and even the eye of ted bundy and ed gein looking at the queensland coast saying a loud

HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH, foolish earthlings

cronus barry allan and buddha and athena, are pushing the cyclone away

but it’s hard to beat these evil spirits

I AM CRONUS
Ted was a good guy, he had
plenty of friends.
No one could believe that his
life came to an end.

People would always say that
he had a great smile.
He would go the distance for
you, even walking a mile.

Ted worked ******* his job from
night to day.
If they needed someone to work
overtime, Ted would stay.

Suddenly one day he began to
feel terrible and strange.
This is day that everything in
Ted's life changed.

Doctor's ran blood test, cultures
and a whole lot more.
Ted's boss and the job selfishly
kicked him out of the door.

Suffering without insurance and
in a whole lot of pain.
Ted then decided to give up on life
because he felt he had nothing to gain.

Lord, if someone had just reached out
to lend Ted a helping hand.
We wouldn't have to be standing
out in the rain trying to understand.

One thing about Ted is he did the
very best that he could.
Satisfying his no good boss, job and
people who never understood.

Ted's insurance company let it be
known that they could care less.
Doing all that they could do to make
his life more of a mess.

So here we are talking all about Ted
leaving behind kids and a wife.
Nobody wants to face the facts of
why he took his own life.

Most would agree that suicide for
Ted was all so wrong.
Even the strongest of men have a
day when they are not strong.
Veronica Ingram Jan 2020
Ted
I have Tourette’s. But my Tourette’s isn’t me. It is an entirely separate entity that takes over my body with no warning or reason. This entity is named Ted. Ted the tic. Ted is rude. He tends to turn up without an invite and then outstays his welcome . Ted doesn’t have a filter. He doesn’t know when enough is enough. When he’s exhausted me and should probably back down. But Ted doesn’t care.
I am stronger than Ted. He’s actually very weak you see. He acts as though he’s far stronger, and sometimes I start to believe him. But then I remember that he doesn’t control nor define me. However, I’m stuck with Ted for the long run. Almost like family, but that really annoying aunt that won’t back off, yah know? Ted won’t win, I will.

- VI -
Section 17 Row H seats 11 and 12
Almost every home game does he see
A grey haired man with a clip board sits
Two seats over and one down from me
He's a scout for the bigs, Comes most games to watch
Can't watch as a fan anymore
They know he made it, was up with the Bruins
Played defence with Old Number Four
He watches intently for five minutes or so
Just enough to watch each kid skate twice
Then he drinks down his coffee all in one gulp
and then he returns his eyes to the ice
The Scout, we will call him, for lack of a name
Has seen kids who've got game disappear
They find out he's watching, they get all uptight
And they can't play 'cause they're all tense with fear

I watched for four games, got his routine down pat
Watched him arrive and watch the kids skate
He'd go down in the corner and stand by the glass
Watching close through the plexiglass plate
He stayed away from the coaches, the players as well
And the parents, he'd avoid like the plague
If one ever stopped him, and asked "How's my boy"
He'd smile, and give an answer so vague
His career ended early with a stick to the head
Almost killed him, but, he was too mean
His left the game early, with Wayne Maki to blame
The Scout, is Edward "Ted" Green


Each season he'd sit, watching game after game
In arenas all over the land
Some kids he'd notice, he did not come to watch
They were just something that wasn't planned
He'd come into town to watch a kid who could score
And go home with two names on his list
One a defence man, and the goalie as well
But, the scorer, couldn't skate and got missed
Ted, would watch and make his reports on kids
Some were right, and the kid would go pro
He may be a star in the minors right now
But, the bigs...well, fate only knows

He'd listen to parents and coaches talk of the boys
Saying "My son's the next Bobby Orr"
Ted would chuckle a little and not say a word
He knew the kid would be heard from no more
Putting pressure like that on a young players back
Is like saying, "My boy will be God"
From then on it's never, the talented kid
I'ts the boy cursed with Orr's lightning rod
Many young players get compared to the best
But to say it out loud is a curse
You put a red dot on the young players back
He may as well leave in a hearse

Ted's seen them all, coaches, players and bums
Played when the game was real tough
They  had lighter equipment, not kevlar like now
and Ted, as we know liked it rough
His scratches and scribbles on the page tell a lot
But to the untrained they look like a mess
A pharmacy student couldn't read what he wrote
Nor a court stenographer I guess
He's a spotter of talent with stories to tell
More of them about kids who fell short
Most of them cursed with the "My kids the next..."
and the name of the best in the sport

Two Hundred and Ten games he watches each year
Most times he's gone early on
He's sees what he needs and then he packs up his stuff
And by the end of the first, Ted is gone
He's off on the road to another ice rink
To sit and watch on the hard seats, so cold
To listen as parents and coaches again
Talk of greatness, it's all gotten old
Terrible Ted has a warriors soul
And his grey hair is thinner but, curly
He has ice in his veins and a stick through his heart
Too bad his playing time ended too early.
Dedicated to "Terrible" Ted Green of The Big Bad Bruins and Edmonton Oilers of the NHL and former New England Whaler player of the WHA. One of the best hockey men around. I thought of this today after finding an old Ted Green hockey card from 1968 in my dresser drawer. I remember watching him play with Boston and Edmonton and saw him a number of times scouting at The London Gardens after his playing career was ended.
Whose to blame for the homebodies being trapped by street people, Ted of course, he is



You see I had a great life being a homebody making fun of people on the street, but to those street kids, the homebodies are known as shy boys, and Ted every day when the homebodies got to their houses, heh heh heh heh, you homebodies are trapped, we aren't going to ever set them free, because the street kids wanted to take the homebodies to the underpass, and not necessary **** them, just change the homebodies from being homebodies to shy people, because these homebodies didn't really want to play on the street, and when the street kids came over and teased them, the homebodies ran inside saying, you can't get us fella, Ted had fun at this moment, making sure that these homebodies act too shy to be homebodies, and one went away saying that they will never catch him, and despite Ted trying, even to this day to get him, he had never been caught, while Ted has his friend have a few problems like getting teased in the way he did as a kid, because they wanted to stop him from being a homebody, and it was easy to stop him, because Ted has him right where he wants him, and every time he goes home,  they tease him to try to make him go out and get drunk and make trouble for the families, and he got drunk every day, causing trouble every day, and people on the street said, that he wasn't a cool homebody anymore, and if he tries to do what he likes to do at home, the old street kids said they will try and abduct him and put him in a drain pipe, where if the water became high, he would be washed away.
And he yelled, HELP, about 13 times, hoping that a passer by would notice him, stuck in there, and hopefully they will rescue him, from in there, but when no one came to rescue him, he tried to figure out how to free himself, before things got worst.
His other homebody friend saw him stuck in there, and when he called his name, he sat there playing cool for the street kid, that he thought I was becoming, and then he just left his old mate their to die.
When this homebody, turned street kid got free, he got on the phone to one of his ****** mates, to go into his old homebody's house and blast his head off, and he said yes, to start but when he said he couldn't go through with it, he was mad and started to yell at this ****** untill he eventually got sick of him and said, go back to your homebody mate, your not like us, never, will never am.
Then after 3 months of not talking to him, he ended up being shoved in the back of a 4 wheel drive and driven to the edge of a cliff, where this homebody  escaped from, and never saw his friend again, but he didn't care either, because he was stopping him from moving on with his life, while Ted was laughing saying, he's suffering, and this homebody heard him laugh and slowly found his way back to the top, and told Ted, you won't ever get me, cause your a loser, and Ted got angry, and tried to capture him, but he found solace in creativity which worked very well, but Ted still was there, but he was a homebody again, never to ever be grabbed.


Sent from my iPhone
Shady Teddy Jan 2019
You ask why Ted hasn't been good
Ted has been bleeding
But with no physical wounds
Ted is been broken
Yet sustained no fractures
Ted is been lost
Yet still knows precisely where he is
Ted has been crying
Yet he shed not a single tear
Ted is strong now
Ted is wiser now
Ted has given up everything
but not on himself
All is well now
Am learning to live
With a heavy cloud of air around me
Ballast is evidence of my once strong fortress
So many shells
I used to have a heart you know
But I don't know where it is now,
or what became of it
So I decide not to live in regret,
and learned how to live without one
Newme
A SNOW STORM CREATED BY OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS AND TED BUNDY



LAST NIGHT, OSAMA BIN LADEN WANTED TO REALLY ROCK THE WORLD AND CAUSE A REAL BIG SNOWSTORM

WHICH WILL SHAKE UP THE WORLD, YOU SEE PEOPLE ARE FRANTIC IN NEW YORK AND SURROUNDINGS

WHICH HAD TO CLOSE A FEW SCHOOLS AS WELL, AND RONNIE BIGGS AND TED BUNDY SAID, WE ARE

GOING TO GRAB BRIAN ALLAN, WHO IS CRONUS, SO HIE POWERS CAN’T BE USED HERE, YOU SEE

THEY BOUGHT IN MANY HURRICANES AND LOADS OF SNOW, WITH THE SOUND WOULD SCARE EVERYONE,

YOU SEE,OSAMA TED AND RONNIE HAVE BRIAN ALLAN PAUL BERENYI AND ADAM WALSH, TRAPPED

SO THEIR EVIL PLAN TO STOP NEW YORK AND SURROUNDS, FOR A FEW DAYS, YA KNOW ANY BROADWAY SHOWS

ON, WILL BE CANCELLED, AND PEOPLE RUSH TO BUY FOOD, SO EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU, ARE TRAPPED

AT LEAST FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS, AND THOSE SNOW PLOW MEN WILL SUFFER, YOU SEE, LIKE BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

AND ADAM WALSH, ARE ******* TO THE SUN, KEEPING THE SNOW, DOWN IN THE USA, AND THE SUN IS BLOCKED

PAUL, ADAM AND BRIAN, ALL SCREAMED, HELP, HELP, LET US GO, BUT OSAMA WHO WAS THE RING LEADER SAID

NO PAUL B BRIAN A AND ADAM WALSH, ARE WIRTH US FOREVER, AND THE PEOPLE IN CANBERRA ARE SAYING

LET BRIAN BE OUR LITTLE SKATEGOAT, WE LIKED THAT LITTLE GUY, BUT BRIAN AND PAUL AND ADAM

ARE BEING FORCED TO KEEP THE SUN AWAY SO THE USA CAN COMPLETELY SUFFER,

YOU SEE, US, BAD GUYS, LIKE WE HAVE YOU BOYS WITH US AND WHERE NOT PLANNING TO LET

YOU GO, UNTILL, AT LEAST THIS SNOW, DESTROYS THE LIVES OF EASTERN AMERICA, EVERYONE ON EARTH

WHY IS THIS SNOW, TAKING AFFECT, AND TED BUNDY SAID, I AM NOT LETTING YOU GUYS GO, YOU WILL BE WITH ME

FOREVER, AND EVER AMEN, YOU SEE EVERY BLADE OF SNOW, THAT FALLS AND CAUSES HAVOC, IS THE WORK

OR THESE SPIRITUAL VILLIANS, YOU SEE, BRIAN ALLAN STOPPED YOUTUBE SHOWING KIDS TYING THEMSELVES UP

ON YOUTUBE, AND TED, RONNIE AND OSAMA, HAVE TRAPPED BRIAN, WITH PAUL AND ADAM, AND FLIGHTS ARE BEING CANCELLED AS WELL

EVERYTHING IS BEING SHAKEN, OVER ON THE EASTERN COAST OF AMERICA, AND AS THE VILLIANS FLEM PAST THE SUN

WITH LOADS OF BIG SNOWBALLS, THEY WENT HEH HEH HEH HEH , WE HAVE YOU CRONUS AND YOUR TWO FRIENDS

YOU WILL NEVER ESCAPE, OK, WHILE WE ARE TRYING TO FORCE MORE AND MORE SHOW, AND HOPEFULLY FLOOD

THE ENTIRE EATS AMERICAN CITIES, AND EACH PERSON IN NEW YORK ARE RUNNING AROUND BUYING SUPPLIES

AND BROADWAY IS BEING CLOSED FOR THE DAY, MAYBE LONGER, HOW LONG ARE OSAMA BIN LADEN AND TED BUNDY AND RONNIE BIGGS

GOING TO KEEP BRIAN AND PAUL AND ADAM UP THERE, BLOCKING THE SUN FROM DESTROYING A BIG AMERICAN SNOWSTORM

THEN AFTER TED BUNDY SAID GOODBYE, HE WENT OVER TO BRIAN AND PAUL, AND BASHED THEM WITH A RAY OF VERY HOT LIGHT

FROM A SWORD, THREATENING THEM AS HE SAID, I WILL HAVE YOU KIDS, WITH ME, FOREVER, PAUL AND BRIAN SAID, WE AIN’T KIDS

WE ARE MEN, AND RONNIE BIGGS SAID, YEAH, 2 LITLLE BRATTY KIDS, YOU 2, ARE AND THEN BASHED THEM, AS THEY CAN’T GET

THEIR BODIES, FREE FROM MY CLUTCHES, AND WE ALL SCREAMED, FUCKEN LET US GO, YA BLEEDING LITTLE ****

YOU SEE OSAMA, IS A ****, YOU SEE HIM WITH RONNIE BIGGS AND TED BUNDY, TRAPPING PAUL BRIAN, AND ADAM, AS WELL

AS MANY AMERICANS, WHO CAN’T LEAVE THEIR HOUSE, A KIDNAPPING MADE, THAT POLICE CAN’T STOP, UNLESS THEY WENT

AGAINST THE THEORY OF NATURE, AND OSAMA, TED AND RONNIE YELLS OUT HEH HEH HEH HEH, WE HAVE EVERYONE IN OUR TRAP

HEH HEH HEH HEH AND NOBODY ESCAPES THESE SPIRITUAL VILLIANS, JUST ASK BRIAN ALLAN, PAUL BERENYI AND ADAM WALSH, NOONE
fools, ,you see ted bunny and ronnie biggs are saying the fools have been trapped in my snowstorm

and in the category 3 cyclone marcia in queensland, nobody listens to the ploy of cronus and barry allan

even if they are trying to keep them safe, and ted bundy who flew around aistralia trying too make

marcia and lam, really ruin australia, and keep these americans trapped in snowy weather, keep kids from

learning, by closing the schools, and cronus with barry allan’s help, was trying to get people to rally together

to make everyone happy, and safe, we can’t save everyone, but we could ****** well try

and then ted bundy said heh heh the fools, thinking these waters are safe to swim in, but ted isn’t shy

he is evil enough to make people lose their lives, we must listen to authorities as opposed for doing the

right thing, you see they call this nature, i call it cosmic attack, a really fierce cosmic attack, nobody can

see the clear sky ahead, in order for people not dying from this sort of thing, and that is, don’t do stupid things

ronnie biggs also is making the category 3  cyclones marcia and lam and a terrible snowstorm in the states

you see these vicious killers are doing more harm here, than they did on earth, they are ruining families

from all over the place, and elvis presley cancelled his neptune concert, to make the jewish messiah daniel

who is his earth body, to think that he needs to start thinking of trying to save people from these terrible

snowstorms and category 3 cyclones, you see, he thinks he is forcing the cyclone probably, but we all know

that ronnie biggs and ted bundy are forcing them, i think this country concentrates too much in celebrating

the jewish messiah’s previous life, and making him sleep like a pack of rich arrogant *****, but even if he

wants to work anywhere, he wanted to get into library studies but instead of that, he is playing all over

the planets, singing elvis is a schizophrenic and everyone seems fine with that, but, instead of looking

at relief web. int, you should help us finish off ted bundy and ronnie biggs evil and cunning plan, to

force the dreadful end of the world, you know what i think, if people listen to lifeguards and not going

out to these fierce seas, the end of the world wouldn’t come, we must pray to buddha, that these people

are safe, so when marcia hits, they are not out there battling the cyclone caused by ronnie biggs and

ted bundy, please, buddha help, cronus ands barry allan battle these dreadful spirits, ,and make the

storm ease, there are a lot of snow trapping innocent americans and all ted bundy and ronnie biggs

can say is heh heh heh, these fools are falling right into my trap

PLEASE BUDDHA SAVE THESE PLACES, MAKE PEOPLE SAFE BUDDHA

MAKE THE SURF LIFESAVERS, WORK HARDER TO PREVENT PEOPLE GOING OUT

MAKE PEOPLE IN THE USA, JUST SIT IT OUT

UMMMMMMMMMM UMMMMMMMMMMM UMMMMMMMMMM UMMMMMMMMMMM

ronnie biggs and ted bundy are sitting in saturn club rings saying foolish earthlings

they are falling right into my little trap
the allan family story, brian’s easy to TEASE



you see brian allan was walking around the canberra city with a trolley full of groceries

because doing that caqn really help the poor as well as the young dudes who were poor,

you see brian preferred poorer people because they were cool and loved really loud music

and what brian had to realise that his brother and parents are helping the poor better than him

you see brian was treated like a cool kid by men who want to help the poor, and an easy target

by the young dudes his own age, yeah the kids played AC/DC OR JUDAS PRIEST OR IRON MAIDEN

really really loud and brian’s ,mate george taught brian that being poor isn’t a wish, it’s a catastrophe

and brian wanted not to be poor, so he played basketball, in which he trained at the woden basketball courts

and he also played ten pin bowling where brian won a lot of medals, brian was a real sports boy, and also

loved to be a cool party dude and brian was passed off as an easy kidnapping target by the ghost of ted bundy

to **** all the family person out of him, forcing brian to tie himself up, brian hated being known as the easy target

ted said, you are tying yourself up, to help the poor people, allow them to listen to heavy metal and not get in trouble

by conservos, and save the hooligans brian, and if you ever try and be a ****, i will bash you, brian, and shove another

poor man’s soul in you, ted said, we need to help the poor and having you ******* protects the poor people, and we need

to let criminals out of prison, you see brian allan, your like us, now man, every time a criminal gets caught, i will trap your mind

into feeling sorry for those hardened criminals, yeah this will be easy to trap mr brian allan, it’ll be easy to treat you like an easy

target, till you realise only ***** do help like this, you see brian, your mates are playing their characters from shows like prisoner

or the brady bunch or kings wood country, and in the process we will bully brian allan forcing ted bundy to die and have his ghost

force brian allan for the rest of his life, saying brian allan, the only family perrso you are, is a family person to a tease, don’t be

liken US, brian, you see brian’s parents and brother helped people the proper way, but ted bunny’s ghost is saying brian helps

the poor by tying himself up and this made brian allan wild, a real giant in the backyard, so to speak and when brian was trying to

be an adult going for a nightly swim making a lot of noise brian’s mum sprayed the hose on the giant in the back yard, like joan the freak

ferguson on the show prisoner because she was worried that brian was becoming an easy target to teasing like this

WOOSEY WOOSEY WOOSEY, and ted bundy’s ghost made it hard for brian to lock his door and forced him to have little visitors,

making brian allan dodge a kidnapper at the charnwood inn and making brian scared that his drinking mates were teasing as brian

say no to a joyride in a car, and on the way home from the gym, you see a kid asked me to buy him a pack of cigarettes and i said yes

and the shop assistant called him a total *****, and the kid laughed, because he was trapped by ted bunny’s ghost to laugh at me

ya know, tease brian allan, and now brian allan battles ted bundy’s voice makes a voice in my head, your like us now man

brian allan is like ted bundy’s mob, he doesn’t want it, but he has no choice heh heh heh

stay with the poor, allan boy
soul in torment Oct 2013
Oh shall we play space men today
and build a rocket Ted
we need two suits some gloves and boots
and helmets for our head

A packing crate stood tall and straight
dad's funnel placed on top
three books so thin each one a fin
and Mommies broken mop

A beanbag chair we two can share
and buttons we can push
some sandwiches and light switches
and cans of Orange crush

Some dials and springs and other things
we found in daddies shed
now that looks neat so take a seat
and start the countdown Ted

We watched the stars that once so far
where now within our grip
Count ten to one ignition on
Blast off in rocket ship

The silver moon would greet us soon
as upward we both sped
through clouds of white to black of night
just me and mister Ted

The rocket turned as thrusters burned
as we altered our course
for here you see the gravity
Had very little force

We journeyed forth toward the north
by meteor and star
as comets whizzed and pinged and fizzed
and flew both near and far

We passed the plough and saw a cow
jump clean over the moon
then stations manned prepared to land
beside a giant dune

Beneath our feet a silver sheet
of fallen stars and sand
and as we two took in the view
Ted held me by the hand

The solar breeze blew round our knees
and tickled as it passed
time now to go yes Ted I know
this day has gone so fast

seated inside we watched the tide
So slowly ebb and flow
then 10 to 1 zero and gone
we raced the mornings glow

home safe and sound we kissed the ground
and ran in for our tea
I turned to Ted and softly said
the moon just winked at me

What shall we be next time said he
cowboys or maybe kings
I do not know I whispered low
let's see what morning brings
Jude kyrie Sep 2016
Remember when we first met Ted.
You always made things right.
We used to always sleep together.
So I was not scared at night.

We used to travel everywhere.
I hid you so no-one ever knew.
You were always there for me Ted.
And I was there for you.

I always told you all my trouble's Ted.
You would listen all the day.
And when I got a tummy ache.
You took the pain the away.

Once I had the measles
I was six days in my bed.
You never ever left me, Ted
You slept right by my head.

When the thunderstorm scared me.
And the lightning’s flashing light.
You snuggled up and held me.
So safe all through the night.

The passing years they rolled along Ted.
And we got older too.
I was not frightened anymore
Oh! what could I do with you?

Now my little sons  in his room.
There is a bear next to his head.
With  one eye missing
and it has a patch or two.
It is his favorite  bear named Ted.
It's You Ted,  It is You.
Amber S Jun 2013
When Sylvia Plath first met Ted Hughes, she bit his cheek so hard that blood oozed from his skin.
I want to believe I made an impression like that on you.
(Not the first time, when I was fourteen, because I was awkward with too much eyeliner and not enough ideas)
I marked you, on your bones, beneath skin where only I could see it.
(Beneath layers and layers and layers, so I could
fit comfortably. A parasite)
Sylvia and Ted married quickly,
but the idea of marriage terrifies me,
but I want to be with you forever,
(and yet I don’t)
Sylvia loved Ted.
and I love you. too much. so much.
(my chest deflates when I think about
empty beds)
please do not leave me, like Ted left Sylvia.

do not find muses, inspirations,
but since I am the writer, I need to find my muse.
(you are my only one)



I think Sylvia and Ted shared writings,
but I cannot show you most of my words,
for the truth would burn, and I wouldn’t know
how to put out the fire.
but Ted was a writer, you are not.
so I will be like Sylvia, writing about people I love,
until it consumes me
entirely.
Ang TED sa puso ko ay parang Lireo ng Encantadia
Bughaw ang simbolong kulay nila
Narito ang mga Sanggre o dugong bughaw ng Encapsudia
Danaya/Dela Cruz, Amihan/Arriola, Pirena/Penson, Alena/Araneta

Ang TED sa puso ko ay parang Terran sa Starcraft na laro
Bughaw ang sagisag na kulay ng mga ito
Nais nila ang pangunguna at pamumuno
Nasa dugo ng lahing tao – katangian ng pagiging ****

Ang TED sa puso ko ang nagturo sa akin
Kung paano ang pagiging **** ay tangkilikin at mahalin
Mag-aaral higit sa lahat ang dapat unahin
Responsibilidad sa klase ang dapat atupagin

Ang TED sa puso ko ay parang Terran at Lireo
Dito ko nadama ang pangarap kong totoo
Ang maging tao na makaguro, ang maging **** na makatao
Salamat sa mga taga-TED na naging bahagi ng buhay ko!

-10/23/2017
(Dumarao)
*a tribute to TED of CapSU-Dumarao
My Poem No. 557
Jackie Mead Jul 2019
There was a young Monkey called Mr Lee
Who loved to hang out, swinging in the trees.

One day suddenly from below, a Giraffes head appeared, real slow
"Hi" he spoke my name is Ted
"I am looking for somewhere to lay my head"
"Not here" replied Mr Lee
"I am afraid there is no room for you in my tree"
"Oh" Ted the Giraffe replied and walked away with a heavy sigh

Mr Lee feeling he had been a bit mean
Offered Ted the Giraffe a leaf so green
Mr Lee said " I am sorry I didn't mean to say,  there was nowhere for your head to lay"
"I am swinging from branch to branch, tree to tree, I  don't usually have visitors, its usually only me!"

"Thats okay" said Ted "I have found myself a soft hay bed"
"But what you are doing looks like fun, do you fancy company of another one?"
Mr Lee considered the request, it would be fun to have the company of another one.
"Yes, indeed" he did reply "although you are rather tall, I believe your knees would knock on the floor"
"I dont want you to hurt your knees whilst your swinging in the trees"
"Why don't you walk by my side, we can talk as we cover the countryside"

Ted the Giraffe was delighted to make a new friend.
And that is very nearly the end.
Just enough time to say have you made a new friend today?
It does not matter how you look, how tall you are or how you speak
Noone likes to feel lonely
Take the time, say "hello" boldly
Children are not bound by heavy chains
Make a friend dont refrain
Say "hi" again, again and again
soul in torment Oct 2013
We sailed the sea in search of tea
just me and captain Ted
with treasure chest and pirate crest
flown high above our bed

the window view with sky of blue
we made our water way
and clouds in swathes were rolling waves
that caused our ship to sway

Curtains tied tight were sails of white
that billowed in the breeze
and gulls in flight no longer white
but striped like honey bees

The garden shed lay dead ahead
but Ted said its a trick
It is in fact old captain black
So man the cannons quick

pillows in hand and stations manned
we aimed and fired true
and sent their bones to Davy Jones
within the ocean blue

The fighting done we'd fought and won
their treasure on our decks
we sailed away to kennel bay
through reefs and sunken wrecks

a shoal of socks swam round the rocks
and hid beneath their shade
and flocks of shirts and summer skirts
within the shallows wade

Ted pointed out a water spout
that rose from just beyond
a whale maybe hides there matey
within the goldfish pond

My slippers lept from out the depths
and SPLASHED us with their tails
then light bulbs flashed and Windows clashed
and wind whipped through our sails

A storm cried Ted stood on the bed
his finger pointing east
we rose and fell amongst the swell
Of nature's fearsome beast

Waves ten feet high came crashing by
and soaked us head to toe
we clutched the mast till all had past
and never once let go

The danger gone we travelled on
and docked in time for tea
tomorrow Ted I turned and said
I wonder what we'll be
Jude kyrie Jul 2018
Remember when we first met Ted.
You always made things right.
We used to always sleep together.
So I was not scared at night.

We used to travel everywhere.
I hid you so no-one ever knew.
You were always there for me Ted.
And I was there for you.

I told you all my trouble's, Ted.
You would listen all the day.
And when I got a tummy ache.
You took the pain the away.

Once I had the measles
I was six days in my bed.
You never ever left me, Ted
You slept right by my head.

When the thunderstorm scared me.
And the lightning’s flashing light.
You snuggled up and held me.
So safe all through the night.

The passing years they rolled along Ted.
And we got older too.
I was not frightened anymore Ted
Oh! what could I do with you?

Now my little sons in his room.
There is a bear next to his head.
With one eye missing
and it has a patch or two.
It is his favorite bear
It's You, Ted,
It is You
I COULD BEARLY WRITE THIS ONE.
JUDE
soul in torment Nov 2013
Oh Mr Ted is not in bed
I think he's run away
or its a game without a name
he's made for us to play

Oh look a note pinned to my coat
It says I am a clue
Seek out the home of Mr gnome
he waits to talk to you

So down the stairs in one's and pairs
and slip my wellies on
then out the door and read once more
the clue marked number one

There just beyond the goldfish pond
the gnome awaits me so
He points the way as if to say
that ways the way to go

I rush on past going so fast
I nearly missed clue three
So slowed my pace to find the place
the clue was sending me

it said take time to read this rhyme
as I lend you a hand
the shadows tall upon the wall
Will show you were I stand

The sundial loomed where roses bloomed
the sunlight at its back
upon its face a note was placed
a picture of a sack

Toward the shed and Mr Ted
but no he was not there
another clue tucked in a shoe
that said make me a pear

The old pear tree yes there I see
another picture clue
back to the start and search your heart
to know what next to do

Back up to bed now what was said
my heart what does that mean
of course the box once filled with chocs
we ate on Halloween

Opened with care the clue is there
it says now come find me
I'm in my seat waiting to eat
as it is time for tea.

What fun I said hugging dear Ted
your games are just the best
I've had such fun but now I've won
and how I need to rest

So sitting there beside my bear
my eyelids felt like lead
I'm tired see please come with me
it's time we were in bed

Goodnight God bless we need our rest
It's been a busy day
and Ted and me are so sleepy
from games we love to play
Mr Ted's latest instalment
Ted bundy is a howling a howling a howling
Ted bundy is a howling
Over Canberra tonight
He is really out to destroy this city by bringing on strong howling winds
You see what is really happening is ted and ed are forcing themselves over the air
Making dangers to the people of Canberra
The winds are howling all around all around all around
These winds are howling all around forcing Canberra residents to panic oh yeah
Ted and ed yell out
We have the Canberra people in our trap
And it is part of our little Map
Let us take a little nap
Yeah ed and ted have us yeah
DING **** MY KIDNAPPER IS DEAD, THAT IS WHY I ALLOWED TED BUNDY

TO TAKE ME YEAH, I WANTED TO KIDNAP MY KIDNAPPER

HOPING THE SPIRIT WORLD CAN **** MY KIDNAPPER, OH YEAH

I KNOW IT’S ****** HARD, CAUSE, THE SCHITZOPHRENIA, WAS GIVING ME THE ****** YRGE

I FOUND IT HARD TO RID THE URGE, SO I MADE TED BUNDY’S GHOST TIE ME UP

BUT THIS MADE ME FIGHT MY FATHER, AND FORCE ME ON MEDICATION

WHICH MADE THE NICEST MAN, BUT MY KIDNAPPER KEPT COMING BACK

DING **** I WANTED MY KIDNAPPER DEAD, I KNOW I ANNOYED A LOT OF PEOPLE

TRYING TO GRAB THEM OH YEAH

I GRABBED A FEW SCHOOL MATES, AND THAT IS WHY I WAS TREATED LIKE A YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I WANT TO GET REOFORMED, BUT A VOICE SAID, NO YOUR NOR REFORMED

AND I WORKED AT THE RAINBOW, HELPING THE MENTALLY ILL

AND I FELT LIKE A HAPPY CHIRPY COOL KID GOING TO THE BEACH AND BUSHWALKING

AND WORKING IN THE RAINBOW KITCHEN, AND NOBODY WANTED TO TEASE ME

CAUSE I HELPED TO GIVE THEM A MEAL, I WAS A COOL KID, AND VERY VERY CHIRPY

AND THEN IN 2002, I FELT REALLY CRAZY, THE PARANORMAL SHOVING VOICES IN MY HEAD

WHICH WAS, I WAS THE KID, KILLED BY THE ******, THE AMERICAN ****** KILLED A KID

BUT I SAID I DREAMT IN THE REAL WORLD, SAYING THE KID HE KILLED WAS ME

I STOOD MY LITTLE KIDNAPPING KID, OUT ON THE LONESOME, THE ****** KILLED MY CRAZY KIDNAPPER

I AM NOT GAY, I RESPECT GAYS, BUT I AM NOT GAY

I AM NOT A PHEDAPHILE, HAVING *** WITH KIDS IS REPULSIVE

I AM NOT A CUDDLING KOOMARRI MAN, CAUSE THEY GET KILLED, I LIKE TO SAY THAT AT LEAST GAYS, HAVE A REASON

THE KOOMARRIS, ARE TOTALLY GEEKY, AS THEY CUDDLE UP TO YA

I AM NOT GAY, HE SAID, I JUST LIKE TO CUDDLE MEN, NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH GAYS

I AM NOT GAY, I MADE MY CHOICE, TO BE A ******

LIKE A ******, WHO PARTIES ALL THE FUCKEN TIME, LIKE A ****** BABY YEAH

PARTY WITH ME, AND YOU AS WELL YO DUDE

BUT TED BUNDY, ISN’T HASSLING ME NO MORE, I AGREED TO **** MY HOOLIGAN WHO GRABS KIDS

AND IN JUP[ITER, I AM PREPARED TO SUFFER, FOR EVERY KID, AS CRONUS DOES DO

TED BUNDY NOW HAS ME ******* TO THE LAMP POST ON JUPITER

I PREFER THIS, RATHER THAN CUDDLING ******* KOOMARRI MEN

PRESUMING THAT I AM GAY, I AM STRAIGHT, MY PROBLEMS WERE WATCHING REALLY BAD KIDNAPPING ON TV

AND MY LAST TWO LIVES KIDNAPPED AND KILLED AT AGE 8 GREAME THORNE ANDS PATRICK DUNBAR

I HAVE KILLED MY KIDNAPPER AND LEFT MY LITTLE DADDY’S SHY BOY WITH DAD, ON CLOUD 9

SO I CAN ENJOY BATTLING THE YOU AND YOUR BROTHER AREN’T LIKE US VOICE

BY DRINKING A BOTTLE OF COKE, I AM A COMPUTER **** KID

I WANT TO LOSE PAT’S VOICE, BUT WE HAD FUN TOGETHER

I WANT TO LOSE HIS VOICE, BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THESE DELLUSIONS

OF HIM BEING A TEASING GAY MAN, CAUSE YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL TO TEASE NORMIES

THE WAY I USED TO TEASE THE MEN, WHETHER YOUR GAY OR NOT

PEOPLE PRESUME THAT YOUR GAY, AND PUNCH AND **** YOU

BULLYING LEADS TO KILLING, BRIAN ALLAN DOESN’T WANT TO BE KILLED

SO HE PREFERS TO GET RID OF HIS SHY BOY THE BRIAN ALLAN WAY

CAUSE I HATE, THE IDEA IN HINDSIGHT OF BEING A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE LIKE THAT

IT WAS ALRIGHT WHEN I WAS YOUNG, WELL CRAWLING THROUGH DRAINPIPES

AND RIDING OUR BIKES, AND PARTYING IN CLUBS WAS COOL

BUT THE KIDNAPPING OR THE GAY ACTIVITY, REALLY AIN’T FOR ME

I AM STILL DOING WHAT I USED TO DO, THE IMAGINATION BIT

ART AND DRAWING, I WANT TO KIL MY KIDNAPPER AND HAVE TED BUNDY TIE HIM UP ON JUPITER

AQND LEAVE MY DADDY’S LITTLE SHY BOY AS I SAID ON CLOUD 9 WITH DAD

WE HAVE TO STAND ON OUR OWN TWO FEET

OH YEAH MY, HEART IS A PUMPING, AND MY LEGS ARE FIT

I WANNA STAND ON MY OWN TWO FEET

I DON’T CARE WHAT MY VOICES SAY

I PREFER FOR MY VOICES TO SAY BE AN ARTIST, BE A WRITER, BE A YOUTUBE PARTNER, BE A BUDDHIST

I DON’T WANT TO HAVE ANY PART OF MY DADDY’S LITTLE SHY BOY IN ME, EVER AGAIN

MEDICATION, REINCARNATION, I AM COOL, HOW ABOUT A LITTLE CELEBRATION

STOP THE CALLING ME WOOSEY, IN MY HEAD, CAUSE, IT’S FUCKEN DOWNGRADING YOU BIG *******

I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE AROUND GAYS, DOESN’T MEAN I HATE THEM, I HATE BEING TOLD I AM STILL GAY

******* ****, *******, I AM NOT GAY

DING **** MY KIDNAPPER IS DEAD AND MY LITTLE SHY BOY IS UP THERE WITH DEAR OLD DAD

I AM A MAN WHO ENJOYS PARTYING, YEAH MATE YEAH, I AM NO ****
Geno Cattouse Dec 2012
Ted Williamse's  head sits frozen
In a cryo chamber in Arizona to be
Thawed and reanimated at a later date.

The splendid splinter.          Set in eternal winter
After all said and done.       Thumper.

                                    THE  INTERVIEW

The­odore, was that a curve or slider ?.

"Can't say for sure sport. I picked up the seams  but it busted in
high and tight

Ted, what exactly was the plan ?

"Couldn't say for sure ace
I'm all in. they froze my head to a
cat food tin"

Ted When do you plan on coming back

"Well, I have no real timetable as such, you
know science moves forward in starts and lurches.
Reanimation and a cure would go real swell.
You know."

Well we all here are praying hard for a cure
You hang on in there. A century or so and your good as new.
By the way Ted ,who signed the papers?
" Couldn't rightly say chum but this meat locker
is sure for the birds"

All right buddy. Thaw
you later.

Well, keep your chin up Teddy and your powder dry
Just think good thoughts and the time will fly.
What's a hundred years to
soul in torment Sep 2013
A cardboard box some building blocks
some scissors and some string
four paper plates two Apple crates
a frizbe and a spring

A roll of tape a sheet of crepe
Some paint pots and a brush
five lolly sticks eight lego bricks
quick Ted we have to rush

Pram wheels four maybe one more
***** driver and some screws
A saw some wood there that looks good
With this we cannot lose

place two wheels square right under there
and ***** the screws in tight
Now same again that's done now then
let's fit the seat alright

The Apple crate will look so great
when painted red and green
The box cockpit is where we'll sit
and steer this wild machine

Add blocks and bricks and Lolly sticks
to make my dashboard bright
spare wheel on back now all we lack
are fireflies for our light

Jam jar ******* tight that looks alright
now place them there just so
what's that you said dear mister Ted
you want to have a go

The boxcar race is taking place
so we will have to run
I'll pull you steer were oh so near
to having so much fun

The starting line now grip the line
as dad gives us a push
We're building speed taking the lead
as past them all we whoosh

The end in sight Ted please hold tight
and please don't move about
Ten yards now nine we're doing fine
eight seven six... look out

FIVE more to go let's start to slow
the wheels with the brake
what's that you said dear mister Ted
we've made a big mistake

No brakes oh no two yards to go
and then the three bar gate
but wait just look it's off the hook
and open wide... oh great

1 yard we won the race is run
and yet we still race on
past in a flash we end up SPLASH
Stuck in the village pond

We may be wet but don't forget
we won a victory
For Daddy said that me and Ted
could have a winners tea

So party cake till bellies ache
and then it's time for bed
From bits of trash we made a splash
me and my best friend Ted
Jebediah woke up, fixed himself a stiff drink
And he thought everything was fine
Then he found Matt’s feet, covered up in red ink
Lucifer’d caught him in the night

But, he ain’t no fool
He knows Pharmacy Ted

Julie Ann suffers from a stress disorder
That keeps her awake all the time
Freak out, rip the sheets, play a game of tiddlywinks
That chick does it all the time…

She’d rather drink whiskey than wine!

Well, she’s sleeping now
And there’s pills by the bed

She's sleeping sound
She knew Pharmacy Ted
as i told you, that ted bundy and ed gein, sent some howling winds to canberra last night,and these pictures is what ted bunny and ed gein,
sent to my suburb of hawker, you see what they did, is pull the trees out, and trying to destroy the beauty of beetaloo street and bon rook street, and there were a few patches of snow, ted and ed are going heh heh heh heh to the people of hawker last night, you see if you live in canberra, and you still hear the howling winds, it is just ted and ed
trying to get revenge on the world, a, i fell asleep, to try and save as much of the world, as i can, because, this was a cowardly act by tedc bunny and ed gein
soul in torment Nov 2013
Quick Mr Ted get out of bed
the garden's crisp and white
let's dress up warm against the storm
and have a snowball fight

Then dig a den and build snow men
and decorate with coal
a hat, a scarf, a carrot half
and twig arms make him whole

Then let's lie down and move around
to give the angels wings
then put out bread for robins red
whom songs of winter sings

a tea tray sled for me and Ted
to slide down hill and plain
then lose control, we crash and roll
and do it all again

The cold wind blows, red cheeks and nose
our fingers all but numb
but cocoa cup warms us back up
while cuddling up with mum

Then time to sleep snuggle in deep
and dream of all we've done
for when all's told snow may be cold
but winters so much fun
1969 Hartford art school is magnet for exceedingly intelligent over-sensitive under-achievers alluring freaks congenital creeps and anyone who cannot cut it in straight world it is about loners dreamers stoners clowns cliques of posers competing to dress draw act most outrageous weird wonderful classrooms clash in diversity of needs some students get it right off while others require so much individual attention one girl constantly raises her hand calls for everything to be repeated explained creativity is treated as trouble and compliance to instruction rewarded most of faculty are of opinion kids are not capable of making original artwork teachers discourage students from dream of becoming well-known until they are older more experienced only practiced skilled artists are competent to create ‘real art’ defined by how much struggle or multiple meanings weave through the work Odysseus wants to make magic boxes without knowing or being informed of Joseph Cornell one teacher tells him you think you’re going to invent some new color the world has never seen? you’re just some rowdy brat from the midwest with a lot of crazy ideas and no evidence of authenticity another teacher warns you’re nothing more than a bricoleur! Odysseus questions what’s a bricoleur teacher informs a rogue handyman who haphazardly constructs from whatever is immediately available Odysseus questions what’s wrong with that? teacher answers it’s low-class folk junk  possessing no real intellectual value independently he reads Marshall McLuhan’s “The Medium Is The Message” and “The Notebooks of Leonardo da Vinci” he memorizes introductory remark of Leonardo’s “i must do like one who comes last to the fair and can find no other way of providing for himself than by taking all the things already seen by others and not taken by reason of their lesser value” Odysseus dreams of becoming accomplished important artist like Robert Rauschenberg Jasper Johns Andy Warhol he dreams of being in eye of hurricane New York art scene he works for university newspaper and is nicknamed crashkiss the newspaper editor is leader in student movement and folk singer who croons “45 caliber man, you’re so much more than our 22, but there’s so many more of us than you” Odysseus grows mustache wears flower printed pants vintage 1940’s leather jacket g.i. surplus clothes he makes many friends his gift for hooking up with girls is uncanny he is long haired drug-crazed hippie enjoying popularity previously unknown to him rock bands play at art openings everyone flirts dances gets ****** lots of activism on campus New York Times dubs university of Hartford “Berkeley of the east coast” holding up ******* in peace sign is subversive in 1969 symbol of rebellion youth solidarity gesture against war hawks rednecks corporate America acknowledgment of potential beyond materialistic self-righteous values of status quo sign of what could be in universe filled with incredible possibilities he moves in with  painting student one year advanced named Todd Whitman Todd has curly blond hair sturdy build wire rimmed glasses impish smile gemini superb draftsman amazing artist Todd emulates Francisco de Goya and Albrecht Durer Todd’s talent overshadows Odysseus’s Todd’s dad is accomplished professor at distinguished college in Massachusetts to celebrate Odysseus’s arrival Todd cooks all day preparing spaghetti dinner when Odysseus arrives home tripping on acid without appetite Todd is disappointed Odysseus runs down to corner store buys large bottle of wine returns to house Todd is eating spaghetti alone they get drunk together then pierce each other’s ears with needles ice wine cork pierced ears are outlaw style of bad *** bikers like Hell’s Angels Todd says you are a real original Odys and funny too Odysseus asks funny, how? Todd answers you are one crazy ******* drop acid whenever you want smoke **** then go to class this is fun tonight Odys getting drunk and piercing our ears Odysseus says yup i’m having a good time too Todd and Odysseus become best friends Odysseus turns Todd on to Sylvia Plath’s “The Bell Jar” and “Ariel” then they both read Ted Hughes “Crow” illustrated with Leonard Baskin prints Todd turns Odysseus on to German Expressionist painting art movement of garish colors emotionally violent imagery from 1905-1925 later infuriating Third ***** who deemed the work “degenerate” Odysseus dives into works of Max Beckmann Otto Dix Conrad Felixmulller Barthel Gilles George Grosz Erich Heckel Ernst Ludwig Kirchner Felix Nussbaum Karl *******Rottluff Carl Hofer August Macke Max Peckstein Elfriede Lohse-Wachtler Egon Shiele list goes on in 1969 most parents don’t have money to buy their children cars most kids living off campus either ride bikes or hitchhike to school then back home on weekends often without a penny in their pockets Odysseus and Todd randomly select a highway and hitch rides to Putney Vermont Brattleboro Boston Cape Cod New York City or D.C. in search of adventure there is always trouble to be found curious girls to assist in Georgetown Odysseus sleeps with skinny girl with webbed toes who believes he is Jesus he tries to dissuade her but she is convinced

Toby Mantis is visiting New York City artist at Hartford art school he looks like huskier handsomer version of Ringo Starr and women dig him he builds stretchers and stretches canvases for Warhol lives in huge loft in Soho on Broadway and Bleeker invites Odysseus to come down on weekends hang out Toby takes him to Max’s Kansas City Warhol’s Electric Circus they wander all night into morning there are printing companies longshoremen gays in Chelsea Italians in West Village hippies playing guitars protesting the war in Washington Square all kinds of hollering crazies passing out fliers pins in Union Square Toby is hard drinker Odysseus has trouble keeping up  he pukes his guts out number of times Odysseus is *** head not drinker he explores 42nd Street stumbles across strange exotic place named Peep Show World upstairs is large with many **** cubicles creepy dudes hanging around downstairs is astonishing there are many clusters of booths with live **** girls inside girls shout out hey boys come on now pick me come on boys there are hundreds of girls from all over the world in every conceivable size shape race he enters dark stall  puts fifty cents in coin box window screen lifts inside each cluster are 6 to 10 girls either parading or glued to a window for $1 he is allowed to caress kiss their ******* for $2 he is permitted to probe their ****** or *** for $10 girl reaches hand into darkened stall jerks him off tall slender British girl thrills him the most she says let me have another go at your dickey Odysseus spends all his money ******* 5 times departing he notices men from every walk of life passing through wall street stockbrokers executives rednecks mobsters frat boys tourists fat old bald guys smoking thick smelly cigars Toby Mantis has good-looking girlfriend named Lorraine with long brown hair Toby Lorraine and Odysseus sit around kitchen table Odysseus doodles with pencil on paper Toby spreads open Lorraine’s thighs exposing her ****** to Odysseus Lorraine blushes yet permits Toby to finger her Odysseus thinks she has the most beautiful ****** he has ever seen bulging pelvic bone brown distinctive bush symmetric lips Toby and Lorraine watch in amusement as Odysseus gazes intently Tony mischievously remarks you like looking at that ***** don’t you? Odysseus stares silently begins pencil drawing Lorraine’s ****** his eyes darting back and forth following day Lorraine seduces Odysseus while Toby is away walks out **** from shower she is few years older her body lean with high ******* she directs his hands mouth while she talks with someone on telephone it is strange yet quite exciting Odysseus is in awe of New York City every culture in the world intermingling democracy functioning in an uncontrollable managed breath millions of people in motion stories unraveling on every street 24 hour spectacle with no limits every conceivable variety of humanity ******* in same air Odysseus is bedazzled yet intimidated

Odysseus spends summer of 1970 at art colony in Cummington Massachusetts it is magical time extraordinary place many talented eccentric characters all kinds of happenings stage plays poetry readings community meals volleyball after dinner volleyball games are hilarious fun he lives alone in isolated studio amidst wild raspberries in woods shares toilet with field mouse no shower he reads Jerzy Kosinski’s “Painted Bird” then “Being There” then “Steps” attractive long haired girl named Pam visits community for weekend meets Odysseus they talk realize they were in first grade together at Harper amazing coincidence automatic ground for “we need to have *** because neither of us has seen each other since first grade” she inquires where do you sleep? Todd hitches up from Hartford to satisfy curiosity everyone sleeps around good-looking blue-eyed poet named Shannon Banks from South Boston tells Odysseus his ******* is not big enough for kind of ******* she wants but she will **** him off that’s fine with him 32 year old poet named Ellen Morrissey from Massachusetts reassures him ******* is fine Ellen is beginning to find her way out from suffocating marriage she has little daughter named Nina Ellen admires Odysseus’s free spirit sees both his possibilities and naïveté she realizes he has crippling family baggage he has no idea he is carrying thing about trauma is as it is occurring victim shrugs laughs to repel shock yet years later pain horror sink in turned-on with new ideas he returns to Hartford art school classes are fun yet confusing he strives to be best drawer most innovative competition sidetracks him Odysseus uses power drill to carve pumpkin on Halloween teachers warn him to stick to fundamentals too much creativity is suspect Todd and he are invited to holiday party Odysseus shows up with Ellen Morrissey driving in her father’s station wagon 2 exceptionally pretty girls flirt with him he is live wire they sneak upstairs he fingers both at same time while they laugh to each other one of the girls Laura invites him outside to do more he follows they walk through falling snow until they find hidden area near some trees Laura lies down lifts her skirt she spreads her legs dense ***** mound he is about to explore her there when Laura looks up sees figure with flashlight following their tracks in snow she warns it’s Bill my husband run for your life! Odysseus runs around long way back inside party grabs a beer pretending he has been there next to Ellen all night few minutes later he sees Laura and Bill return through front door Bill has dark mustache angry eyes Odysseus tells Ellen it is late maybe they should leave soon suddenly Bill walks up to him with beer in hand cracks bottle over his head glass and beer splatter Odysseus jumps up runs out to station wagon Ellen hurriedly follows snow coming down hard car is wedged among many guest vehicles he starts engine locks doors maneuvers vehicle back and forth trying to inch way out of spot Bill appears from party walks to his van disappears from out of darkness swirling snow Bill comes at them wielding large crowbar smashes car’s headlights taillights side mirrors windshield covered in broken glass Ellen ducks on floor beneath glove compartment sobs cries he’s going to **** us! we’re going to die! Odysseus steers station wagon free floors gas pedal drives on back country roads through furious snowstorm in dark of night no lights Odysseus contorts crouches forward in order to see through hole in shattered windshield Ellen sees headlights behind them coming up fast it is Bill in van Bill banging their bumper follows them all the way back to Hartford to Odysseus’s place they run inside call police Bill sits parked van outside across street as police arrive half hour later Bill pulls away next day Odysseus and Ellen drive to Boston to explain to Ellen’s dad what has happened to his station wagon Odysseus stays with Ellen in Brookline for several nights another holiday party she wants to take him along to meet her friends her social circles are older he thinks to challenge their values be outrageous paints face Ellen is horrified cries you can’t possibly do this to me these are my close friends what will they think? he defiantly answers my face is a mask who cares what i look like? man woman creature what does it matter? if your friends really want to know me they’ll need to look beyond the make-up tonight i am your sluttish girlfriend! sometimes Odysseus can be a thoughtless fool

Laura Rousseau Shane files for divorce from Bill she is exceptionally lovely models at art school she is of French descent her figure possessing exotic traits she stands like ballerina with thick pointed ******* copious ***** hair Odysseus is infatuated she frequently dances pursues him Laura says i had the opportunity to meet Bob Dylan once amazed Odysseus questions what did you do? she replies what could i possibly have in common with Bob Dylan? Laura teases Odysseus about being a preppy then lustfully gropes him grabs holds his ***** they devote many hours to ****** intimacy during ******* she routinely reaches her hand from under her buns grasps his testicles squeezing as he pumps he likes that Laura is quite eccentric fetishes over Odysseus she even thrills to pick zits on his back he is not sure if it is truly a desire of hers proof of earthiness or simply expression of mothering Laura has two daughters by Bill Odysseus is in over his head Laura tells Odysseus myth of Medea smitten with love for Jason Jason needs Medea’s help to find Golden Fleece Medea agrees with promise of marriage murders her brother arranges ****** of king who has deprived Jason his inheritance couple is forced into exile Medea bears Jason 2 sons then Jason falls in love with King Creon’s daughter deserts Medea is furious she makes shawl for King Creon’s daughter to wear at her wedding to Jason  shawl turns to flames killing bride Medea murders her own sons by Jason Odysseus goes along with story for a while but Laura wants husband Odysseus is merely scruffy boy with roving eyes Laura becomes galled by Odysseus leaves him for one of his roommates whom she marries then several years later divorces there is scene when Laura tells Odysseus she is dropping him for his roommate he is standing in living room of her house space is painted deep renaissance burgundy there are framed photographs on walls in one photo he is hugging Laura and her daughters under big oak tree in room Laura’s friend Bettina other girl he fingered first night he met Laura at party is watching with arms crossed he drops to floor curls body sobs i miss you so much Laura turns to Bettina remarks look at him men are such big babies he’s pitiful Bettina nods

following summer he works installing displays at G. Fox Department Store besides one woman gay men staff display department for as long as he can remember homosexuals have always been attracted to him this misconception is probably how he got job his tenor voice suggesting not entirely mature man instead more like tentative young boy this ambiguous manifestation sometimes also evidences gestures thoroughly misleading after sidestepping several ****** advances one of his co-workers bewilderingly remarks you really are straight manager staff are fussy chirpy catty group consequently certain he is not gay they discriminate against him stick him with break down clean up slop jobs at outdoor weekend rock concert in Constitution Plaza he meets 2 younger blond girls who consent to go back to his place mess around both girls are quite dazzling yet one is somewhat physically undeveloped they undress and model for Odysseus radio plays Roberta Flack’s “Killing Me Softly With His Song” both girls move to rhythm sing along he thinks to orchestrate direct decides instead to let them lead lies on bed while curvaceous girl rides his ******* slender girl sits on his face they switch all 3 alternate giggle laughter each girl reaches ****** on his stiffness later both assist with hands mouths his ****** is so intense it leaves him paralyzed for a moment

in fall he is cast as Claudius in production of Hamlet Odysseus rehearses diligently on nights o
soul in torment Oct 2013
Our morning spent making a tent
across the washing line
a sheet mum said not fit for bed
but as a tent it's fine

We used some sticks and old house bricks
to weigh the corners down
and neath our feet a thick ground sheet
made from a towel.. Brown

We fetched a lamp we used at camp
and hung it good and high
then snacked on chips and smacked our lips
and thought our throats are dry

Moms lemonade drank as we played
and pictures coloured in
a jigsaw done eating a bun
we raced to see who'd win

no fair I said to Mr Ted
as he played with my cars
That bun you ate was off my plate
So I am eating yours

He said ok now what to play
there's plenty here to do
Pick any game just say the name
and I'll play it with you

Played tic tac toe and domino
Hangman and solitaire
I won a few and lost some too
to my friend mister bear

We played for hours through Sun and showers
until mom came and said
tidy up neat the toys and sheet
it's dinner time then bed

ok I said please help me Ted
to put these things away
for its been fun but now we're done
and no more time to play

Tomorrow though you never know
we may play tents again
or pirates be sailing the sea
upon the Spanish main

But until then my little men
let's have you in your bed
sweet dreams sleep tight rest well this night
Both you and  mister Ted
Chris Slade Dec 2018
(A Tribute to Ted Slade - poet, 1937-2004)

This new friendship. This journey on which we were just setting out.

How will we work it now you've...well...gone?

It was going so well. That's the way I saw it anyhow.

It had only been a year - we two - back in each other's circle...

Same planet - different orbit. Though I'll never know now what your thoughts might have been..



This 52 year gap in our 'acquaintance', for that's all you'd ever say it was
,
it closed at dad's (your Uncle Bud's) funeral - as he leapt 'on-flame' to the ether.

He didn't half want to go..."Why don't they just let me slip away?"
And then it was you I wanted to know amongst those finger buffet scoffers.

Those ribboned aces never knew that Bud just kick-started their Lancasters and 'Spits' at Leconfield and Liberia.



Bud's morphine muted passing proved positive, and thankfully at last - 

(he might remember now) - he helped kick-start too this belated kinship between us.

Jack would have been pleased about that...(Bud too I know)

"a good trade" he'd have called it. "I'm knackered anyway".

I was always curious about our respective dads - they only ever sent Christmas cards...no letters. No love.



Bud gave me a book  before he swapped "heaven's hopper" for the "take & bake".

"Eer-yar" he wheezed...this is more up your street than mine..."

"Yer what?..."Poetry?...No... I can't make head nor tail of it. Like Shakespeare...Where's me glasses?"

and, with that ,the "Last Arm Pointing" welded that closing gap between us tight shut.

I read 'Mystery Tour' to Bud...about Jack's 'motorised passing' and he cried. So, it was up his street. after all.



Your words filled me in on distant memories...made solid.
Missing chunks I'd seen but never written down
.
Of Withernsea and its winter isolation

of Jack, his life - and how it intertwined with yours.

I've not found too much yet about Phyllis. Is there a darker story there? Who'll tell me now?



Your final work, tireless as ever, from your New Malden 'crow's nest'...

was steering your second collection to print...and then...

Your literally-literal Mugs and Sweats - flying off the shelves of a California warehouse.

Disabled? Pah!  Why should they ever know the what & why behind the who and when?

Your 'disability'...would only 'publicly' let you down if your trike sustained a puncture in Richmond Park.



"Hi Cuz...Where do I go to get mugs and sweat shirts printed?"

And then, whilst I was looking through directories & old invoices,

you whizzed across the earth on the wings of your laser guided mouse.

By the time I'd got the phone numbers of long distance, half remembered contacts -

you had designs submitted, distribution and royalty deals sorted and were planning the next big thing.



Your freehold on the planet was the web...your very own super-short cut.

Who needs invalid cars when you can 'fly digital'?

You were a lover of the dub-dub-dub which loved you back in floods.

Now, even when your body has deserted you - it still throws us pages and pages - of you - and about you.

The Noddy Holders and Wes the Western Gun-slinger, pale by comparison, they'd envy your PR knack.



Instead of trying to phone, (these heavenly BT - or is it ET-connections often end in wrong numbers)...

and, because a lot of the time talking took it out of you, I'll keep writing like I did before.

Replies would be good. But I often used to write out of turn anyway.

So yes, things could get a bit one sided...forgive me if I 'go on', and... you don't!

But I'll keep writing to Ted@poetrykit.org and read the answers in your books and old e-mails of the family's past.



Cheers Ted...Lots of love Chris (Cuz) Slade.
Ted Slade was a published poet with (for a sufferer of severe kyphoscoliosis) a stellar career. Only started school at age 12... Qualified for Uni at 16. A metalurgist at Filingdales after graduation (so, a real 'propellor head')... He switched to Head of Marketing for the Portuguese Tourist Authority (as you do)...An Atheist and Communist, his last job before dedicating to poetry was as PC Network specialist at Kingston University...On retirement he turned his attention full time to Poetry and founded www.poetrykit.org We lost touch big-time and only met again in our 60s (mental) and found we had so much in common... except I was and never will be a propellor head!
Ted
Ted,
Mom Sent us away. She says it's for our  own good. Shes says that people don't understand us.  I don't see whats not to understand. Ted, do you know what's wrong with us? [silence]. Oh Well. The people here treat us really nice. We get three Meals a day, and after every meal we get Candy. I think their Tic Tacs!  and then When I'm Tired, they  give me this coat so When I sleep my arms won't get in my way. And Ted Guess What! Since the kids don't like me, They gave me a room all to myself. I feel so Special, At Least That's What Dr. Hopper says. What Do you think Ted? [Turns to Corner of Room] [Stuffed Bear Lies Lifelessly in the Corner]. Yeah Me too, They’re Crazy.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
With Bill And Ted
To buy two bottles
Of mineral water.


Jack and Jill
Came tumbling down
Fatally cracking their heads open
And the local council was done
For corporate manslaughter.


But Bill and Ted
Came down on their mountain bikes
With the mineral water
towed on a skateboard.


And having buried Jack and Jill
At an environmentally friendly funeral
They headed for the Amazon
On solar powered surfboards.


Thus they concurred
This was yet again
As vinegar
Bed and
Brown paper-free
As there ever could be
Excellent Adventure.
Marshal Gebbie Aug 2012
A sadness has come over me
As I pass this corner bye,
A junction on the highway,
A lonely cobalt sky.
A sodden pale blue teddy bear
Stands pinioned to a cross
And the glassy glint in Teddy’s eyes
Transfix a sense of loss.

The traffic whizzes past this point
Most people fail to see
The sadness manifested
In his glassy stare at me.
The sadness of a lost young soul
Who failed to take the bend,
Who with his motor cycle crash
Did meet his Maker’s end.

I know not why he died so young,
I know not why he sped.
But know I do, the child like love
He felt for his blue Ted.
The sadness of a pale blue Ted
When pinioned to a cross
Stands sodden on a lonely road
Invoking tears of loss.

Marshalg
At Blue Ted Corner
Highway 20
Taranaki
14 August 2012
Terry Collett Apr 2014
There were bright lights
from the ceiling
once it got
dark outside

and when big Ted
brought in
the sandwiches
for tea or supper

or whatever
they called it
I sat next to Christine
on one

of the double sofas
and she looked
at the plates
of sandwiches

that were laid
on the table
and said
usual boring stuff

I’m not eating
I’d rather starve
big Ted said
O come on

young lady
we've got
to get you well again
and out of this ward

he offered her
a ham sandwich
real ham
he said

not that tin stuff
she looked at him
don't fancy meat
she said

he took up
a cheese sandwich
Cheddar
he said

good stuff
I’ve tasted it
downstairs
in the kitchen

I could eat a horse
I said
taking the cheese sandwich
no horse sandwiches today

Ted said smiling
Christine gazed at me
then at the plate
of sandwiches

it's an effort to eat
she said
I should be coming home
from my honeymoon now

if the **** hadn't left me
at the altar
done my head in
Ted raised his eyebrows

is there anything
I can get you other
than sandwiches?
they've got

sausage rolls downstairs
all dressed
in my wedding dress
with flowers

and waiting
and he doesn't show
I take a ham sandwich
his loss

I said
he must be missing a *****
not to wed you
she gazed at me

then took
a cheese sandwich
and ate
Ted frowned

and walked off
to get the teapot
and coffee pots
and cups

from the trolley
you'll find someone
I said
don't think

I want anyone now
think I'll become a nun
or missionary
in some far off land

sexless and taking care
of others
she sat eating
in silence for a moment

or two
not sure
I could go long
without ***

come to think of it
she took a ham sandwich
with one hand
and placed a hand

on my thigh
with that dull light
in her green blue
left eye.
GIRL IN A PSYCHIATRIC WARD IN 1971.
Donall Dempsey Sep 2018
HOW UNPLEASANT TO KNOW MR. CROW

"Hello!" said the crow.
"Hello?" I answered

thinking: ("Talking to crows
is a bit of a no-no?")

"Do I know you?"
I asked politely.

"I'm Ted Hughes' CROW
....you know!"

"I didn't know that!
I admitted.

"You look like every other crow there is to know."
I impolitely pointed out.

"Every crow is CROW!"
it pointedly pointed out.

"Say...something Ted Hughes-ish then!"
I challenged it.

"In the beginning was..."
"...scream!" crow screamed

and then a load of begatting
to give the Bible a run for its money.

Nothing and Never both begatted
to make crow.

It made me remember the only time
I had been in Mr. Hughes' presence.

One shift leading into another shift and yet another shift so that
it was falling with tiredness I was.

Was it on Thursday I was
to meet the girlfriend

on Friday Street or
Friday I...just didn't know no more.

Ted grasped the podium
with crooked  hands

as if he were Tennyson's EAGLE
or a Heathcliff grown old.

He glared down on me.
I trying not to fall asleep.

He like a cliff come alive
as if rocks could talk.

His words....CROW'S words.

Ted now
merging into the crow

gazing upon me as if
I were carrion.

Crow now losing his human voice.

His raucous caw
echoing inside my head

as he takes to the skies.

I should have listened to
what my mum said.

"Don't talk to strange corvids!"

— The End —