Jebediah woke up, fixed himself a stiff drink
And he thought everything was fine
Then he found Matt’s feet, covered up in red ink
Lucifer’d caught him in the night

But, he ain’t no fool
He knows Pharmacy Ted

Julie Ann suffers from a stress disorder
That keeps her awake all the time
Freak out, rip the sheets, play a game of tiddlywinks
That chick does it all the time…

She’d rather drink whiskey than wine!

Well, she’s sleeping now
And there’s pills by the bed

She's sleeping sound
She knew Pharmacy Ted