As I walked through the apartment door,

I did not expect anything more but comic books and video games

Scattered on the floor.

I felt like I was at a comic book store back down south.

Batman, Superman and the green guy too.

Posted on the walls for all who entered to view.

But I had no idea who the hell they were.

All I knew was that they had powers,

Till Brett gave me the rundown for about an hour.

Batman is a super-rich guy, with a fly ride.

His parents were murdered by an evil guy.

So Batman goes around knocking bad guys out.

For he won’t **** you because of how his parents went out.

Then we have Superman over to my left,

A very fast man, with an “S” on his chest.

He gets dressed in phone booths, then fly’s to save the day.

He’s got x-ray vision, yep right through your shirt.

If you turn around then it’s your skirt.

Then we have my favorite one of them all,

Green lantern with his ring of power.

Making fists and gripping things.

Anything is possible when he’s wearing that ring.

So this is all I got out of my superhero lesson,

They are all really good guys with their own little blessing.

Superheros as they say
They are all the rage today
Superheros are the glam
But Jesus is stronger than Superman

(Chorus)
Jesus is stronger than Superman
Jesus is stronger, He has a plan
Jesus could save the whole
Wide world....
Every man woman boy and girl

Can Transformers
Heal the sick?
Thor or Jesus, take your pick
That Green Lantern has a car
But Jesus made the moon and stars

(Chorus)

Could Robin walk upon the sea?
Could Batman die for you and me?
Spider Man climbs buildings tall
But Christ's the Saviour of us all!

(Chorus)

Superheros can be weak
Jesus Christ's the one to seek
Just turn to the great I AM
Cuz Jesus is stronger than Superman

(Chorus)

children cheering... Yaaay!!!

SoulSurvivor
Catherine Jarvis
(C) September 28, 2014
(rewritten)

Why can't I be weak?
Why is it that I can't be selfish?
I'm the one who has to pick up all the pieces.
I'm the one who puts everyone back together.
But who's gonna put me back together?
If I'm supergirl, who's gonna save me?
What am I getting in return?
Who's gonna do something for me?
Because I do this time after time.
And when I wake up I have nothing.
And I am alone.
And I am in shambles.
Sometimes I want to be weak.
Sometimes I need to be broken.
And I want that to be good enough.
I want me to be good enough.
All of me.

You were cast as the superhero,
And I played the role of freak.

You saved the world
And one damsel -
Who like the stories always go
Stole your superhero heart.

Flocks of people
Worshiped you as if you
Were their saving Shepard.

I loved you in a different way,
I loved you when you were "human"
And hero only to me.

Your power didn't change you
But took you away from me.
Desperate to claw back
At a love that was never mine

I cast myself as villain
Evil and rotten to the core -
Yet I was no glamorous villain
I was villain alone and forgotten

Lost in the rotting ache of a broken whole
Desperate for my superheros attention -
Love - the purest drug
That maddens like no other.

four little superheros
tucked up in bed
four little blonde heads
angelic smiles
and clasping hands

already met the old sandman...

they fought hard...but he
won....

four little superheros
their day....definitely done

When the superhero's the villain,
Coming to be saved.
When you fall flat on your ***.
Expected to be broken for days.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Of all they expected to be.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
Been falling since before age three.
When the superhero turns villain
But did he really turn?
Did he ever allow that side to show.
Is it something he's yet to learn.
But when the 'teacher' gives up.
As the past three had done.
For the sake of her own sanity.
And hope of her own heart.
Oh how the mighty have fallen.
But from where which was so mighty?
That pedestal you built yourself?
Or that crown that was forever wonky.
When the superhero's the villain.
And 'poor Jane' is left to learn
How to be her own God dam fucken' hero.
Her own who will never burn.

Everyone needs a super hero
But not everyone has a good one
We look up to men who us guns instead of words
And women who use their bodies to get what they think they deserve
Children start looking up to their mommies and daddies
But how are little girls and boys gonna do that gonna do that
when their daddies stay away all night and get high
And their mommies look at their phone more than them
When they can’t look up to their parents
They look up to false idols singing songs about drugs and ***
They look up to people they think care
Everyone needs a hero
Everyone needs to look up to someone
But not everyone has that

The road behind still seemed more tempting  than the wasteland of hollow thoughts and
empty dreams that lay outside my hotel room window.
I'd long since given up on having anything known as a comfort zone.

Still although it was hours since we landed still my thoughts rambled like some child as he sits listening to a trains whistle on a long dark night.

My fellow shadows had long since learned a private room was better than a front row seat to
my often insanity spun sideshow of late nights and bitter rants.
It was me and my thoughts a plague of my own creation  in full swing and obsecure few
a stiff drink and some good pills kept the thoughts at bay for the moment.

We found areselves in the city of Angels but  it reaked more of devils torment and wicked excess.
Hookers cheap *** and some overpriced drugs.
The blood of dreams covered the streets and old starts of the fames lure slept next to the broken and homeless.

Why had I ever came here was it ego?
Or just a good time to flaunt in the face of all thoose caught in the gears of
the day to day grind.

This land of empty thoughts  and cursed remakes there was nothing creative bout this scene kids  just give your neck to the vampire and pray he yerns for a taste.
Maybe you'll be one in the few or just another hideline.
Fallen star found dead outside some overpriced nightclub.

Me I was here for a gig and nothing more .
To provide some laughs between drinks i had no illusions of fame.
To me I looked in the crystal ball and just saw another cheap snow globe
of nothing more than candy coated lies.

This wasnt my scene it wasnt anyones scene just a playground gone
wrong a wasteland of bad ideas and hollow thoughts.
That made Vegas seem like a good idea at the time.

Neon lights and lost thoughts haunt the hours spent like some
silent witness to a future crime scene and a redlight work of art.

And as I recalled the nights show I tried to forget the faces from behind the lights
that seemed broken by some plastic surgeons *******.
Give me women with flaws and unsculpted fools.
Perfect people can have this place that seemed more like a gateway to
a delusion cast hell than screen print paradise.

Course many would paint it diffrent if they held the brush but I wasnt
much of a painter to begin with.
And as tommorow loomed with the smog I packed my suitcase thinking.
If we could just drown half the suits and give it to the miscast freaks
pretending to be superheros for tourist pics what a ****** up
theme park we'd have then.

A few hits and alotta drinks later we were gone and there was no question
If we had left a empression.
Only a ****** of a much higher degree would wanna leave anything there.
Except maybe a pipe bomb in a suits office bleeding some old franchise
for every drop it was worth.

No my friends the rearview wasnt looked in often.
What did you think of it?
My fellow traveler  asked as we counted potholes and passed the bottle

Well it sure wasnt Kansas my friend.
What the ***** in Kansas?
Anything but this ******* place amigo.

Unresponsive
Silence aching in the pit of my stomach boiling the blood beneath my skin
Raging chaos
Weeping solitude until I fall asleep awaiting an explanation
Shaken glory
Magnifies in the heat of some miscommunication, lack of trust slithering out within each insult
Always trying to defy the laws of gravity
Unable to admit there are no such thing as superheros, magic wands, or even luck
I am bulimic to love and lust and all things good
Allergic to kindness and appreciating and all things right
I always get left in the middle, asking myself
What the hell is wrong with me

Growingupagirl, I was taught that I shouldn't like cars, or superheros, or sports. I should like Barbie's, clothes and makeup.

#Growingupagirl, I was taught that if a boy teases or bully's you, he obviously likes you. So you should let him. Don't stand up for yourself.

#Growingupagirl, I was taught to never trust a stranger. Everyone was a potential kidnapper or a ******.

#Growingupagirl, I was told to always be back before dark otherwise I could end up dead in a ditch.

#Growingupagirl, I was told not to wear any revealing clothes otherwise, I would "provoke" a *******. It's completely my fault if I get *****.

#Growingupagirl, I was told to take catcalling from men twice my age as "compliments".

#Growingupagirl, I was told that periods are something that should be kept a secret. God forbid a boy ever found out.

#Growingupagirl, I was taught that I needed to look like the girls in the magazines and the TV.

#Growingupagirl, I was taught that you should dress up to impress boys.

#Growingupagirl, I was told that my main goal in life should be to get married to a man and have a family and be a housewife. Not pursue my own dreams. Not make my own money.

#Growingupawoman, I like whatever the hell I want, and don't care about other's opinions.

#Growingupawoman, I learned to never take anything from anyone. Always stand up for yourself.

#Growingupawoman, I realized that I shouldn't be taught to fear men. Men should be taught not to be rapists.

#Growingupawoman, I learned not to be scared half to death whenever I'm walking alone. I know how to defend myself.

#Growingupawoman, I wear whatever the hell I want. How is an article of clothing, "provoking"? Men need to learn to control themselves.

#Growingupawoman, I realized catcalling is completely degrading. Never take it as a compliment.

#Growingupawoman, I realized periods are a natural thing that have happened since the beginning of mankind. Never be ashamed. Be proud.

#Growingupawoman, I know that I need to accept myself. I don't need to be a dainty, scrawny little thing to be beautiful.

#Growingupagirl, I know that I don't need to impress anyone. If I want to dress up, and feel pretty, I'm doing it for myself. No one else.

#Growingupawoman, I may not know what I want to do with my life yet, but I know it's more than being a cute little housewife. I have so much potential. I know I do. I'm a woman. I don't need a man to swoop in and save the day. I can save the day myself. I can be anything I want to be. It'll just be harder, since we live in a male dominated world. But that's okay. I love a good challenge.

If you have been fighting for a long, long time,
If you could spare your time,
Your like an eagle in flight,
A dream for a wish,
A hug for a kiss,
You've been told all your life,
Trying to make things right,
All the kicks and blows,
Trying to knock you down,
You have a growing heart of steel,
You never let your pain show,
Sacrifice yourself for others,
Every hour of every day,
Taking the pain,
Making it into power,
Your a beautiful script,
I can see the fire in your eyes,
You heart is a lions,
You can take a match,
And make a strong blow,
Its like you have a beast in your belly,
You've got it right.

This life isnt marvel cinematic universe
Where superheros saving you from the villain
In this life, night time has become my morning
And morning time has become my night time
I am stuck on depression time zone
Where i wake up from nightmare to nightmare
Where my minds start to confuse whats real and whats on my mind
Where i cant find a button to silence my own thoughts
Where people stare's undressed me
How could they save me even if its a superhero movie
When the villain lives in me
Maybe i cant be saved,
Because pain has became my comfort
Because hope terrifies me

When does love stop and become not-love?

How does someone hold your frail hand, look into your eyes, to tell you they love you in sickness and in health, making the biggest promise of their life?
How do you know when that ‘one’ is ‘the one’?
When does flipping pancakes in love become cold coffee left on the counter from the one who slept on the couch that night?
When did a promise become a suggestion?
And that suggestion became a chore?
And the chore became more?
Once you were drowning in love, head over heels, now upside-down drowning in your tears over a promise,
a suggestion,
a chore,
How does one go through something so painful and the arms they once ran into and no longer open, but clenched with the blood stains from your aching heart.
The one that you told all your secrets too,
The one that loves you...
loved you…
How can anybody really stay in love?
When did that lust, turned to love, turned to loved.
You feel that your world is flipped,
but I promise you, you will see the horizon again.
You will smile as beautiful as you did on your wedding day
You will laugh as you did on your third glass of champagne on your honeymoon
You will feel as loved as you did in the beginning.
One day, you’ll be okay.
And it’s okay if it’s not today.
It’s okay to have little footsteps waddle up to you and ask, “Mommy, why are you crying?”
You are her superhero, but superheros are okay to cry.
Even superman flies low on some days, but you can do this.
Wipe the sorrow away, though the scars may stay the war is over and the peace has begun
Stand brave warrior, you have a whole army behind you, ready to catch you when you fall and push you up on your feet when you can’t do it yourself.
Because when you stand strong on the mountain of tears and fears, with your baby girl in your arms,
You will see the horizon again.

Why is it that soldiers are trading dog tags for hospital beds and body bags?
Why are graduates gambling away their lives through drugs and alcohol?
Why is it that we have to keep moving on like things are okay? Like this isn't as messed up as the news make it sound
Why is it that teenage girls are playing a game of rullet with their bodies; like teen pregnancy is just a myth
Why are young kids that have expierenced true pain not acknowledged; like their hurt is not worthy of being praised
"They don't know true pain. They're just kids"
Oh but their pain is just as real as yours.
Why do we rely on relationships to help us feel whole?
Like happiness is received through the lips of another and love is something guarantied
Why are we knocked down by all that is wrong with the world just so someone can say "get up"?
How many people have to leave are lives while we are dreaming of the memories only certain minds can relate?
How many times are we supposed chock on last goodbyes due to illnesses that don't have cures?
How many kids are going to be left with out parents? Sisters? Brothers? How many kids are going to be orphens of the world that has turned them down time and time again?
How many?
How many kids will leave all of their faith in fictional characters, in superheros, until they are shown the justice that they have longed for?
What level of the word "racist" are we supposed to reach before something is actually done to stop it?
Its not really the number of problems I'm looking for
What I really want to know is how many people are going to take a stand to actually stop these things?

if I am elected president  of this great country,
next month will be a month long
holiday, a celebration of blacks
whites yellow red brown cellophane
imaginary characters, superheros,
invisible mystery movie stars
country western, Rap stars, long haired rockers
Disco even ( among the most reviled)
rhythm and blues, blues reds
those with accents, those without,
homosapiens and bisexuals lesbians thespians the gay and those happy
foot fetishists, my subscription to wow toes lapsed,
biologists psychologists street pharmacy dudes
Marilyn Monroe (oops my freudian slip, there)
women men boys girls , old young two and four legged
disabled American vet or not
truck drivers , doctors nurses garbage collectors(I gotta give them cred)
machinists secretaries liberals conservatives socialists ummm
communists?, maybe not so much,
waitresses even bill collectors,
lawyers the clergy and those elected,
maids kings queens prostitutes pimps
bad  weak , rednecks Santa , I seen him today at the seven eleven
he works construction this time of year, the DEA
the Armed Forces, probation officers
the unemployed , the guy in the suit at the grocery in front of me buying Ribeyes with food stamps, teachers, septic tank pumpers  
.......whew,   I gotta take a break. I left many out , but this month long holiday is going to be inclusive. No one left out behind.
All colors all sizes all sexes all religions.
Gotta for once stop dividing this country into us
and them, see us all as Americans.

This is the story of
the boys who loved you. The ones who
stole you and the ones who
disowned you.
Their paths diverge
like spider webs winding
away from you,
left in the center
alone, waiting for
your next meal.

This is the story of
your absent father.
The one who taught you
not to bother.
To love the ghosts and the
masked superheros.
To follow monsters
into the dark gap
under your bed.

This is the story of your
patchwork skin
sewn together by your
reckless abandon.
Each seem pulled tight to keep
the outside world
from coming in.
Skin that reminds you
of the mistakes that
cannot be forgotten.

This is the story of
the boys who loved you.
Some were kind and some
stole pieces of you.
Took your bones
and picked apart your brain.
Each walked away
with their favorite tooth
from your smile.

Do you remember?

Do you remember talking for hours on end, until I was nearly falling asleep at the computer?
We talked for hours and hours, about anything and everything and nothing.
We talked until late, or early, however you want to put it, and I would tell you that I was gonna go,
but we would keep talking anyways and I would keep saying I was gonna go.
We would talk about everything from your friends, to my hypoglycemia, to religion, to superheros.
We only stopped talking for sleep (eventually), showers and when I went to the movies.
And then there was the incident.
We were talking about how, in middle school, when I had to switch schools, I felt very alone.
Then, you said to me:
"I hope you know I've never done this before, and I hope you know you're not alone.",
an indirect quote from Repeating Apologies by Of Mice & Men.
And I couldn't help it. The boy I liked so, so much, telling me such sweet things, when I did feel alone
and I started crying. I made a post on my blog, and then I remembered too late that you followed me
and I told you not to read it, but you read the post anyway and after I left to sleep finally, you told me
that you wanted to give me a hug, and when I read that later, I kind of wanted to cry again, knowing that you cared.

Skits
so-so-
soothing
Sweet
.nothings...
All me stitchings. - - -
He
draws
you
To fetch the
Sketch

By the bed
clock
Virginity- lock
Birds
the
word B, S,
White
feather
Storks

Bothered
Talking to
himself
Kvetching

Earth to me
myself
All looped in
Silvery earrings
His eyes
deep-set
piercing
It took
nine
years
He finally hears me!
He's the
tiger*
TV Skits
watcher

I am
itching
for
something
Higher reach +
nails
scratching

Her
private
eye
Gel
FBI packs
LoL
His
Virginia
Slim
lady

Acting isn't
her
thing

Earthling  Amen
A-Man morning
stretching
The best time?
Be
on
time*
No
time  
Traveling
He's in
my way
his
presence
Anger!!
manage-men
Those
noisy
women
Yentas----
He
is
cursing
Like
a tourist
accidental
Jungle-Maniac
The African
forest
Green money
Sin-shine yellow
Bananas
Jane goes
Panama
His skits
Drinking up
Werewolf wealth
bills
Clinton X presidential
All  bits Teenager zits
Whitehouse

Superheros -Zebras
Lined
black
All taken the white
I will betcha
All complainers
Dreamers
Those Black and
White cookies
Computer
cookies
Ripley
believe
  she splits

The
wedding
Never bound
to
happen
No, I love
you
heading?
Here to Earth
Eulogy
Why was it
Not
white

Turned out
black
The funeral
The maze tunnel

A part of you
He left his heart
in San Francisco
In the Island
of Marco

The olive oil
Ceco
His love skits
Ciao now Bella
Take the gun

Come to Papa
My cannolis
Love fit wine and they eat
More skits to their beat
What a **** hot fiasco

Some lexicon you got there, kid, some funny picks you choose from the lot you were taught, some things you spit that I look for and just aren’t there

Why do you need poetry and bloviation to tell your story? What aviation, fight or flight does that give you, burrowing your meaning in storms of complexity

Does it do you no work to simplify

See a problem, rectify it

Why do you look at a shoelace and untie it

Unlace the strands of humanities patterns like the peel of an orange

The earth is one big orange

And we flatten it like a piece of paper

Superheros were given capes so that in flat spaces, they fly

Why do you try to weigh yourself down with salty slabs of thoughts you cry?

What is it about the look in that eye the cooks you so hot you break like clay in kiln your eyes see a film in everything

It’s all a deep surround sound movie

And to you, it’s so rewarding to blink in your real-time recording

Camcorder on board with the lines you drew dragging your sneakers in the dirt

It’s random like that but it’s raw and dries like glue- clear, but smells like something manmade and stuck together

And there’s noise around you, however, whatever overstimulation annoys you, you are not alone

People will notice you and say,

Who’s this?

I was talking with my cousin one day
He was reading a book on American Presidents
I asked him which president he was most like
He said, All of them.
I have Teddy Roosevelt’s vigor, Jefferson’s intellect, Lincoln’s humor and JFK’s charm.
I asked, How is that possible
That would make you a Frankenstein
Superheros don’t have that many qualities.
It would be like combining Superman, Captain America, Black Panther and Optimus Prime
A president mentor must have flaws as well for you to learn from.
He replied, Why have flaws when you can have strengths?
All dead presidents think like me
I asked, Can you even name all of the presidents?
He smiled and said, There is an app for that.
Well at least he was reading a book about them.
Maybe one day he can count himself as one of the presidential names.