CHAPTER ONE

My geographic movements during the past year could be called “A Tale of Two Couches.” So as June draws to a close, I assume the position here again on Couch California. I am back in Hemet, the place the smug among us call Hemetucky--as if there was nothing a couple of Mint Juleps and a **** of Blue Grass wouldn’t cure. It is the year of our Lord, 2014: so far an interesting year for women. There was a woman who wore socks to bed. There was always my long-time, here today-gone tomorrow, long time companion, currently teaching somewhere remote on the Big Rez, a southwestern Navajo concentration camp near the 4 Corners.  Next, there’s my current object of affection, that fine and frisky lady from The Bronx by way of Bernalillo--currently at home in Laguna Beach, Orange County. Trixie: my main squeeze at the moment.

And now, completely out of the ******* blue this afternoon, my cell phone rings and it’s ******* Juanita--my all-time favorite woman, Juanita Mi Favorita de La Quinta--a Coachella Valley town and desert wadi, extending its lucrative winter tourist season to become a significant, year-round retirement venue and a robust service economy feeding off it.  Juanita arrived there in the late 80s, in middle of her early forties.  She was unemployed, homeless, just a suitcase to her name and a two-year old toddler in tow. Her parents were there, as was her Aunt Peggy.  Juanita was always Peggy’s favorite niece, her favorite child, actually, Peggy herself being childless, never married.  Aunt Peggy put her maternal instincts to work on Juanita Rodriguez, her Sister Rosalia’s second favorite twin daughter.

Maria, Rosalia’s first favorite daughter, Juanita’s twin sister—MARIA: lives in Newport Beach and acts as an extra in many commercial ads shot in southern California and elsewhere, an irony never without sting for Juanita. “Que lastima!” Poor Juanita: as her would-be Hollywood Movie star aspirations disintegrated over the years, along with her unrealized lower expectations to be TV star, and even those semi-glamorous modeling gigs at trade shows and fairs—the elephant’s graveyard of the acting profession—failed to materialize, and now her celebrity habitat shrunken even further, to that sporadic but consistent mockery of stardom, I refer to any would-be thespian’s ignominious one-celled visual protozoan: The Extra Call List.  And—*******-- what happens next? Juanita’s sister Maria starts getting these parts, starts getting hired by filling out a ******* postcard, starts getting paid to look good in the background. *******: no professional education or instruction, no agent, and no need to **** off both the producer, the producer’s cousin Morey, the director and the director’s wife’s huge Golden retriever, Genghis--actually a mighty handsome animal--or needing to spill $4K on that Derma-brasion, Juanita inflicted on herself last year.

Juanita, as you already know, was the second favorite daughter and the second favorite twin of the family. She became the third favorite child in her three-child family upon the arrival of her slick baby brother Nico-- the Golden Child, who grew up to be a glib Merrill-Lynch stockbroker, office and residence, Beverly Hills 90112.  (Enter forcefully into the narrative, His Nibs himself, Sir Nicodemus of Hollywood, Juanita and Maria’s baby brother Nico. He speaks: “Excuse me, stockbroker my ***, as it says in a 11 point Rockwell Boldfont, right here on my gold-leaf embossed business card: Senior Large Capital Investment Counselor.”)

No, Juanita had a hard time just treading water in that Cleveland shark tank. And though she lacked nothing in the cuteness department, she had this one fatal flaw, namely, the gift of ***** and sass and a reflex to speak truth to power. Juanita: rejected by Rosalia as a threat to her hegemony as Boss of the Girl’s Club, was cast adrift on a tempestuous childhood cruel Montserrat sea, out there on the briny deep . . .  
                

                                      



High Seas: where many a tuna has a Sorry Charlie moment: “Star-Kist don’t want no tuna with good taste; Star-Kist wants a tuna that tastes good.”

Finally, Juanita is rescued, taken aboard the Good/Soul Aunt Peggy—that wayward bark Elisabeta Rodriguez, home-ported in Southside, Chicago, Illinois—the rescue at sea performed in classy, rather low-key manner; no Andrea Doria drama, but understated:

{Camera One, Helicopter above, zooms over turbulent ocean surface. Peggy, an oasis of calm, aboard the raft Kon Tiki with Thor Heyerdahl and his crew, floats by, whispering, “Going my way, Honey? Climb aboard. Have a homemade oatmeal cookie and a small glass tumbler of Jack Daniels.” Okay, no, that’s not fair. Sure Aunt Peggy drank, but never got round to offering you a drink until you were well into your 30s. Let’s just say she offered you a warm glass of milk, the mother’s milk deprived you by your mother, her sister Rosalia. Dear Aunt Peggy: a seasoned survivor herself, flawed by early childhood deafness and grotesque speech.  Yet, she had refused to settle for life in an asylum. She made a go at life.  She learned; she prospered; she flourished. And when the time came, she was there for you in the Coachella Desert, there for her feisty niece Juanita Ann.  Aunt Peggy: a loving spirit personified, became Juanita’s special confidant and counselor, her personal cheer squad of one. Juanita, of course, a former cheerleader herself--an early hint of greatness to be sure, a highlight, perhaps the highlight of her life, shown off every Halloween, still celebrated at American high schools each Fall. She is the Principal’s secretary at a huge suburban high school in Indio. Each Halloween, if the date falls on a school day, Juanita arrives for work wearing that scrupulously preserved, vintage 1966 cheerleader uniform, looking real foxy still, snug now in all the right places. Eternal Truth: Juanita has always and will always be good looking. Life with Juanita is perpetual “ooh la-la.”

So, I am on the couch that afternoon, reading more of Gramsci’s prison notebooks, specifically the philosophy he calls “Praxis.”  Completely out of the ******* blue, Juanita calls me on a RESTRICTED phone, as I said, Juanita, a torch I’ve kept burning for years, flaring up like a refinery flame--oil still very much in the present energy mix--hope springing eternal as they say, and instantly my mission in life is rekindling our lost love. Juanita’s conceived her mission prior to her phone call:  using me to keep her son from being whacked by the local Eme--the Mexican Mafia—that ethnic-pride social club that the RICO-squad-- using family tree socio-grams and other expensively-printed graphics, the one RICO keeps trying to convince us is some sort of organized crime conspiracy. The Mexican Mafia: like everything else practical and utilitarian in this world: THAT’S ITALIAN! And, if you are starting to sense a bit of ethnic chauvinism on, between & below the lines, you are barking up the right tree.
                                                           ­     
      
                                                            
(AUTHOR’S POST-SCRIPT EDIT: And, an ad for dog food right here? Not the best choice of sponsors, perhaps, at the moment. Juanita was far off from the ****** ***** that start looking not half-bad at 2:30 in the glazy morning, not anywhere near those beasts you find lingering in the airport bars you usually frequent near closing time on Saturday nights. No, I remind you that Juanita was all “ooh la-la.” In my next printing—and my Lord, there have been so many, haven’t there, Paulie “Eat-a-Bag-of-****” Muldoon? I will change out the Alpo ad, plugging in a spot for Aunt Jemima pancake syrup or Betty Crocker whipped cream, you know, something more apropos.)

Juanita, I really must hand it to you. You showed the greatest staying power, year after year as I moved further and further away from La Quinta, California. Juanita: you embraced what was good in me, ignored my flaws and strengthened me with your love for so many years. As far as you and Peggy, I guess it was a case of the “apple not falling far from the tree” one of many endearing Midwestern metaphors you taught me.  Peggy taught you, taught you to be kind and then you taught me. No matter what bizarre venue I pulled out of my ***, you showed above-average staying power, continued to visit me wherever I went, Casa Grande & Buckeye, Arizona, Appalachia, West Virginia, and even Italy, when I thought I’d try Europe again after so many years.  With each move, each time, Juanita renewed her commitment to the relationship. Meanwhile, I continued to test her, quantifying her dedication, undermining her sense of mission to disprove my worldview on the expendability of women. Surely, you know that one: the unreliability of women, women who disappear without saying goodbye. That old deeply etched conviction to never get attached to a woman, any woman, based on the empirical fact that women have been known to suddenly die, a fact seared into my still tender metal by the surprise death of my mother on 11 January 1962.

1962. It was already an insecure world, to wit:  The Cuban Missile Crisis. Nikita Khrushchev, in his time both Dr. No and Dr. Evil, namely the Premier whom we Baby Boomers saw as Boogey Man of All Time (Although Putin is showing potential, lately)—the Kennedy ****** (what else could you call it?). All these events scary, whether or not I got the chronology right . . . I remained on high alert for any threat to my delicate adolescent psyche.  My mother-Rosa Teresa Sekaquaptewa-died at 2 o’clock in the morning, screaming in agony while apologizing to my father for not having his dinner on the table when he walked in from work that prior afternoon. She’d already been in bed since noon, attended by two of my aunts--both my father’s sisters--who loved their Hopi sister-in-law, Rosa.  Also present was Lafcadio Smirnoff, M.D.--last of the house call medicine men--a dapper, mustachioed, swarthy gentleman, misdiagnosing her abdominal pain as a 24-hour virus, while she bled out internally for at least eight more hours, her whimpers alternated with screams, well into the wee hours of the morning.

I was upstairs in that dormer bedroom listening to her die. An hour later, Father Numb-nuts of Our Lady of Lourdes Parish teleported in, beaming directly into my bedroom from the parish rectory.  Father Seamus Numb-nuts, an illuminated Burning Bush . . . not quite the bush I ‘d conjured at other times, so many times alone with Gwen Wong, ******* Playmate of the Year, 1961, one of Hefner’s hot centerfolds. No, give me a ******* break, you momo! Whacking off is the last thing on a libidinous, adolescent guinea’s brain when his mama is being tortured and killed by God. Even Alexander Portnoy, Philip Roth’s early avatar would have drawn the wanking line at that unforgettable moment.

No, perhaps what I’d had in mind was The Burning Bush Golf Course where so much of Fletcher Kneble’s political mischief and government shenanigans got cooked up. You remember his books, some of the Cold War’s finest: Seven Days in May, Vanished, etc.

Or better yet, perhaps the greatest political slogan of the 20th century: “STAY OUT THE BUSHES!” Thank you, Jesse. “Thank you, Reverend Jackson,” I slip into my Excellence in Broadcasting mode, my very own private Limbaugh. Announcing my on- air arrival is El Rushbo’s unmistakable, totally recognizable bass line bumper, courtesy of Chrissie Hynde’s Pretenders band mate, guitarist Tony Butler: Dum, dum, dum-dum, Da-dum, dum-dum-dum-dum-da-dum-dum. Single, “My City Was Gone” by The Pretenders
Rush Limbaugh Song– YouTube www.youtube.com/watch?v=SScW9r0y3c4

I become Reverend Jackson. I emerge from the vapors, an obscure abyss of deep family pangs and disappointments, ever-diminishing public relevance and fade to black (no pun intended) and media oblivion. The only thing left is that line:  “STAY OUT THE BUSHES!” You will always own that line, Jesse--true political genius (to wit: Rainbow Coalition) Jackson that you are, despite El Rush-Bo’s virulent anti-Black animus, his predilection to mock you, Al Sharpton, Corey Booker, Barack “Hussein” Obama, and any other professional ***** in America. Isn’t it time someone came right out and tagged Mr. Limbaugh as the Father Coughlin of our time.

Meanwhile back in The Bronx, enter another man of the cloth:  It’s Seamus Numb-nuts, making one of his many well-documented spectral visitations, his splendiferous miracles and wonders. How much longer will the Vatican ignore this humble Bronx priest, this epitome of Sainthood; this reverent man, lacking only the stigmata for a unanimous consent vote? Quote the Numb-nuts: “God Works in Mysterious Ways.” An old standard to be sure, but a lovely, all-purpose bromide for explaining why evil exists in our world. Needless to say, I was underwhelmed; I lost God at that moment, consequently shooting myself in the foot--metaphorically-speaking-condemning myself to an unshielded life, life OUT THE BUSHES!  I went forth into the world without God, without that handy divine crutch, that Andy Devine metaphor for when one’s legs grow weary: a puff of smoke, a reverb twang and a nasty frog croaking “Hi-ya, Kids. Hi-ya, Hi-ya. Hi-ya.”

   Andy's Gang - Pasta Fazooli vs. Froggy the Gremlin - YouTube
► 3:55► 3:55
www.youtube.com/watch?v=H35odPm7b3w Aug 8, 2012 - Uploaded by jmgilsinger
Froggy the Gremlin -Tuba ... Andy Devine (Aug 24, 1952)

Life for me became lonely and purposeless. And probably explains my susceptibility to military discipline and a subsequent career in clandestine government service. In 1968--the very day I turned nineteen, September 25th of that year—that fateful day when I should have shot myself in the foot—literally not metaphorically--earning that coveted 4-F physical rejection, a draft deferment to be desired, that 4-F classification of unfitness for duty, a necessary loophole in U.S. conscript service law.  The Draft: last used during that great commonwealth Cold War purge, that culling out of the unwashed, uneducated children of immigrants, that cut-rate, discount, lower socio-economic ***** bank—the only bank where after you make a deposit, you lose interest, to wit: most Black, Hispanic and Poor White Trash parents.  We were cannon fodder, many of us got to be planted at Arlington and other holy American shrines, still wrapped in black or olive drab leak-proof body bags, doing our generational bit to strengthen the gene pool left behind. A debt, some would say, we owed the country and, given the sorry state of the global wicket, increasingly an obligation to the species. And if I had to predict an outcome, Fascism in America will arrive riding the white horse of the environmental, anti-nuclear Bolsheviks. One could argue that Communism has moved so far left on the political spectrum that it’s now the far right.  Concoct a legislative policy goal, accomplish it legally as the bill becomes Law, signed by the President, endorsed and blessed by The U.S. Supreme Court, the highest court in the land.

To wit: “Three generations of imbeciles is enough?” declared Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., an Associate Supreme Court Justice at the time, buttressing a majority argument harnessing the power of U.S. law as a legal means of purifying the race.  When euthanasia failed to win over American hearts and mind, the Federal Government played the war card again and again. Vietnam: undeclared and therefore unconstitutional--except for that Gulf of Tonkin ******* resolution. Vietnam: a cost-plus eugenics project, if ever there was one, although responsive, of course, to the needs of the Military-Industrial Complex.  ******* Ike: he warned us against Fascism in America. As usual, we ignored the man in charge.

Eugenics? Why didn’t the government just put all the retards on the stand, as John Frankenheimer did in Judgment at Nuremberg, a crafty Maximilian Schell humiliating a feeble-minded Montgomery Clift?  Why not, make everyone face a public tribunal, forcing all of us to testify in court, exposing our many substandard and borderline substandard cerebral deficits?  Why not force everyone to demonstrate just how ******* dumb we are, using some clever intelligence test, something l

How we start is only part of what we eventually do.

Physically that's easy to see. Being human, adamkind,
we see weak starts often in life.
Colts or pups born a week too soon can be loved to lives as pampered pets,
Siring toys for the enjoyment of those who can afford to fuel them,
For generations, with never a single care,
Past that initial trauma and subsequent subjugation to the will of man.

I don't tell horse stories, dog stories or war stories, if I can keep from it.

But when you want to demonstrate the purest of payback,
revenge getting the bad guy in the end,
having a horse be the hero makes behaving like an animal
more noble to the mind of vengeful man.
It's not true, revenge being noble.
That's a very old lie.

Law is to prevent error by disallowing failure. Law.

Relative to the rest of God's creatures, we, adamkind, seem dependent, weak and vulnerable next to bears being weak
a way-less long time
Than we.
We come into this world weak as a baby anything and we stay that way longer
Than any living creature.

I am an American, by birth.
I was not born to a political party or a family with political roots,
"I ain't no Senator's son."
Still,
I was reared drinking mythic cherry wine
sprung from George's failure to lie
Regarding his woodman's knack with a hatchet.

Sitting on the fence rail Abe split,
town fathers where I lived
were said to have decided the most harmonious of towns
have only gainfully employed darker folks,
while white
trash was allowed to loll around because they was
some employer's kin by marriage.

It all seemed pretty normal, as a child.
The loller-arounders let kids listen when they told
Their friends, who could not read, what the newspapers said.

One block from my house there was a vet's and hobo's flop-house clad in corrugated tin, rusted-round the nail-holes all the way to the ground and the rust had spread, so at sunset,...
I only recall the single story shed having one door.
There were always old white men sittin' on the southside of the shed. At sunset, those old men's whispy white hair

appeared as white flowing mare's tale clouds under
a scab-red wall held up by old men with sunset shining faces...

It was a big shed, a low barn, a bunkhouse,
eight or ten 4-foot tin-sheets long on the north and south
Windowless walls.
The one door was on the south side.
Once I saw an old man selling red paper buddy poppies.
He was missing both legs about half-way up his thighs.
The poppy seller rode a square board that had what I think were
Roller-skates, the key-kind, with metal wheels about a 1/2 inch wide.
Nailed to it's bottom. He had handles made from a carpenter's saw
Without it's blade. He pushed himself with those handles.

That looked fun, to a four-year old.
It looks different now-a-days. Knowing
Those red poppies symbolized
The after math automatics of the war to end war.

Who knows the poppy-sellers son? He would be old.
Does he know how his father lost his legs, but lived?
Does he bear the curse of the curse that lost his father's legs?
Does he honor his father's cause or weep at the thought?

Enough is enough.
My family tree branched in America, but only one great grand-parent,
Three generations back from me, was rooted in this land.
My gran'ma's ma, a Choctaw squaw,
That rhymed fine,
But it's not true. My grandma did not know her parents. She was born an orphan,
And her father and mother were likely strangers.

1910 in southwest Arkansas or southeast Oklahoma or northeast Texas or northwest Louisiana
And the color of her skin is all that proved my American heritage.

My grandma was born poor as poor can be,
she never told me how she survived

To survive a 1925 or so car wreck
in eastern Arizona's white mountains.
I never asked what my grandmother knew,
nor how she came to know.

This is my point.
After you and I have gone into forever more,
Our great grand children may wonder
what we did or did not, since we
Are no longer around to give our account.

These days we can leave our story to our great grand children.
Our own children
And our grand children follow us on facebook back to before they were born.
Shall they judge us idlers wielding idle words for laughs,
or  think us knowers of all we found while seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven
In the place Jesus says it is. You know where Jesus said the Kingdom of our kind lies?

The double minded man is unstable in all his ways,
hence Eve and her broader bandwidth corpus colostrum
Come back later, there is a breath system upgrade evolving.

Such changes to the courage of the mind rolls out more slowly
to the root ideas, labouring to find sustenance,
it is a struggle being a radical idea,
we agree, but we have our part,
as do the flowers
and the spore.
Leaven the whole lump, like it or lump it.

The now we live in grew from far deeper roots than
the roots claimed by the
Self-identified nation through it's cartoons/representations of national desires to rally 'round the flag as if it were the fire,
those desires to herd beneath any shelter from the storm,
Your country, your incorporated allegiance
to the inventor and creator and counter of the money under
the protection of the sword and crown representative
of the flame that burns,
The namers of patriot, the rankeers of ideas
who, by their existence,
naturally, over rule you.
Such powers are granted by the individual, not the mob.
You get that?

The desires of the nation over rule the desires of the individuals who
Com-prize the nation.
Whose side are you on, dear reader?

Is the idea we believed believable?
Ex Nihilo, I don't think so because
I can't imagine how now could be
Accidental-ly.

When my hero wore spurs as he went from the jail office to
Miss Kitty's place, (Gunsmoke on A.M. radio)

What did Miss Kitty do?
I had no clue.
In my hero's world people never
Did the wrong thing
While Marshal Dillon was in Dodge.

So did you think Miss Kitty's place was anything other
than a culturally acceptable
reference to professional social ******* workers
under a strong, smart female CEO
with top-level links to the local cops?

All these are rhetorical questions, this being
Rhetorical if you are hearing me say this.
That means, don't nod or raise your hand or shout Amen, kin!

I see your answer my answer and
I know my answer, so you know my answer.

Step-back, 1961, USA Snapshot
Unitas, Benny Kid Perett, Mantlenmarris, the Guns of Navarone.

Why I recall those things, I know not.
Why I did not say I do not know, I do not know.

Though, pausing to think,
knowing contains the doing of it within it, you know.
What's to do?

Outlaws were more my heroes than cowboys, and marshals, and such
Especially the ones that had been forced out by law.

I grew up in a 1950's junkyard with no fence, one mile north of route 66
On the Al-Can highway to Las Vegas, 103 miles away.
My Grandpa was a blacksmith's son,
who rode a horse he broke and his pa had shod
From Texas to Arizona in 1917, at the age of 18.

by the time I knew him,
He was fifty, settled down, nearly, from the war.
Momma had to work, so, daytime, Granddaddy raised me.

Horses weren't, wrecked cars were,
the toys of my childhood.

Grandpa built a junkyard from cars left steam blown
on the old stage road, from before
the railroad.
The Abo Highway hain't been Route 66 for some time yet…
Hoping…


Hoping sometime to polish this bit of this book, I left myself re-minders
Hoping memory of mental realms might rewind or unwind sequentially
When trigger
Neighed.
That worked, Roy Autry and Gene Rogers were names Sue Snow's
Mormon Bishop granddaddy called me,
back when I first recall My Grandpa Caleb,
a baptist by confession,
who was,
as I recall a *****-drinkin' jolly drunk.
While Grandma made beds in some motel,
granddaddy built boats and horse trailers
and hot rod 34 Chevies,
and he fixed this one red Indian, I could read the word on the gas tank, I knew the word Indian
and this motor cycle was proud to wear the name. I was 4.

A stout-strong man, no fat near any working muscle system,
he could and would
repair any broken thing,
for anybody. People called him Pop.
Pop and Mr. Levi-next-door at the Loma Vista Motel, shared a listing in the Green Book,
so broke down ******* knew where help could be found
after dark in that town.
There was a warnin'ag'in
let'n sunset there
on darker than grandma's skin.

My Gran'daddy's shop had two gas pumps
that were reset to begin pumping with the turn of a crank.
As soon as I could turn that crank,
I could pump gas.
I could fill up that red Indian
Motorcycle.
But "m'spokes was too short
to kick the starter."
I told my eleven year old uncle
and he told
how he would always remember learning
that saddles have no linkage
to horse brakes.
"Not knowing what you cain't do
kin *** ye kilt."

He grew up in the junk yard, too.
My first outlaw hero.

Likely, I am alive today, because
On the day I discovered I could pump gas as good as any man,
I also discovered that real motorcycles were not built for little boys.

On the Southside
It's humid
Even in winter
It has its own air
It's own feel
On the Southside
everything is español
And when trash blows down the street it's illuminated and mystical
They shake your hand and look down your shirt
In the Southside the music is better and the food is cheaper but the nights are colder and feelings feel deeper
I feel like a ***** when I walk through
But I've never felt more at home

South side bouncing in the low rider, why because we out of what is deemed normality going 95, and if you ain't rolling you are not one of our guys. Lets keep this simplified, this is real rap, it came from my pen and pad man, honest talk, I won't ever sell out man. South-side popping up and down, swaying side to side, we aint ashamed fam, this the real deal that we promise we'll never hide. Yeah, southern vibe, kicking it right, spitting fire, getting you caught up in a tangled wire, yeah we will never tire. Tripping, best keep your distance, cause in this very instance, I might just have you on my hit list, what is this, a game of chance? Nah man it's a game of change, bumping to a movement that is strange, in the rap game to provoke real change. I am not the same, please do not call me names, boy do not disturb that which has not been tamed. I am insane, your in my lane, stop thinking that we are the same, this is not a game, you couldn't handle my fame. Keep your distance, and i'll keep mine, have no clue where i'm going, i'm just following all the signs. Fast life, flashing lights, pulling over, and being a coloured man you know it's going to be a fight. ***** cops, misusing their power to beat us, what did we ever do to have them mistreat us. South-side, pain in the streets, government not doing nothing, and no one is willing to stand up on their feet. What can one man do, what can words really say, how can the minority have their way. Shady system, why is society so grey, and how did I get myself caught up in the fray. Swept off my feet, it's like life was Katrina, facing all these fiends, and I don't know if I can battle all these ravenous hyena's. Need a cleaner, feeling as helpless as a llama, just keep munching on a bunch of grass, man I can't wait to be done with all this melodrama. Free will, free speech, where are the Ghandi's and Martin Luther King's, maybe it's because people are to focused on tablet screens and buying shiny rings. This is not common, putting my self in the songs man, chilling out and munching on some ramen. Their is no controlling or consoling angered people who can't stand seeing more race issues brought up, you think this would've ended long ago but it's still blowing up. Rolling up, spilling up, the tension is growing, and i can no longer shut up. Dropping bodies, fentanyl getting put into drugs man, taking lives everywhere, where can i rally up a lobby. Hear ye, hear ye, I know things are looking dreary, and you may be get teary, but never the less we move forward and never fear what may be. It maybe what it is, so one day the south side may no longer be a place to live, strolling along wondering if their is a point to wanting to live. South side, can no longer escape life by getting high or drunk, before I can clean the world I must clean out my life's junk.  I want to be able to be adept at building up a community and a family one day, lord have mercy on us, not just for the south side, but for the world because we need some help today. Just the other day some cops shot an innocent black male named Alton Sterling, oh man it happened again, I thought they would have learned after ferguson but then again people still think Canadians live in igloo's, and I wonder about what the hell these kids are learning. I think these misconceptions must stop, staying ignorant will only lead people to keep on being killed and not every cop is a bad cop. So yes some po-po's can be brutal and should be kept in check, but they human to, i know it's not a good excuse but we should not be quick to give all them heck. Violence begets violence, doesn't solve anything man, it just creates more animosity and having innocents keep on dying, and I believe we can resolve it without meaningless busting because i said before it will only lead to more people crying. Authentic sounding south side, this is what I think about as i ride along, it's time to love and accept one another and then move on.

Smoke trails up into the air
Sticky with the scent of
Vanilla and stale cigarettes
That stings my nose.
My shirt sticks to my back
and the sweat collects in my hair.
I swirl hot tea in my mouth
Vanilla creamer
Softening the bitterness of the tea.
My mind clouds with the words of
Aeschylus
Running in and around each other
I cannot make sense of any of it.
My head aches
from the smoke
and the stress
And I just want to stop.

(We were called the HUGI TWINS - pronounced hoogie - we still are :-))

We were joined at the mustaches
Of chocolate milk
And giggles
Daring preschool to challenge us
On the ****** journey
Of out-of-mommy's-sight.  

I sat next to him
Immediately taken
By his first words
"What's YOUR name?"
Like he had one he had to share
But knew it wasn't polite
To just blurt it out.
In those three words
He owned me
Whether he wanted to
Or not.  

We authored world conquering agendas
On short chairs
And nap mats
Giving away all our secrets
In shouting whispers of confidentiality
(Consistently amazed
Of our teacher's Prophetic thwarts).  

Batman and Robin plagarized us
For we were unity
Inseperable
Born to co-dependency
Birthed to this bond
Which we wore like an arrogant badge
Making jealous
All the other 5 year olds.  

Inside the doors
Of lower education
We were royalty.
In the outer world
We were famous explorers
Almost too famous
Passing on the one adventure
That caved in
On three of our friend's lives.  

The alley was the highway to everything -
The playground
The market
And Russell's house.
Russell was older
Cool
And our friend.
He made us important
Until we "matured"
And became the new cool.
Southside
That's how we ride
(ok, bike...).  

But then it happened  

My crime-fighting cohort
Was taken captive
By menacing parents
And forced to move
Across town.  

I would cry as he pulled away.  

Small towns
And single high schools
Demand one fact -
There will be a reunion.  

In the same marble halls
Which echo with the footsteps
Of our fathers
The dynamic duo reignite.  

Our chariot was legend
As the Hugimobile
In Starsky and Hutch red and white
Became our calling card.
Filled with flying manes
Obscure sports paraphenalia
And healthy egos
The Show was on the road.  

The residue of living was co-owned
In the trenches
His closet was mine
My closet was his.
Everything was communal -
Ideas
Girlfriends
Jobs.
We got our nickname
Buckin' hay
And selling family bibles
Door to door
Stopping with each victory
To generate business for DQ
One cherry coke and cone
At a time.  

But those are things -
Granted
Good things
But things nonetheless.

He is more
Than good things.
He is the anchor
Of faithfulness.
He wields forgiveness
Like a shield.
When others cut and run
He picks me up
Not only from enemy hurts
But from hurts that I have caused
On my own.  

Without reward
He has eaten the burnt goods
Of my friendship
And smiled.
He introduced me to humility
For which I can never repay.
We are forever friends
Because he is forever benevolent.
And when I In these years
Find that tender boy
Fallen
He looks at me and says
"What's YOUR name?"
Strengthening I in my spirit
I reply "Hugi Twin"
Then remember I am something
Because of that unmerited favor.

i was an ***** player for a talk show in the southside
one night while tanking up preshow at a poolhall down the block
i snooped a conversation about a stripper birthday party
currently in progress at mcardles pub
mcardles being a bar on an alley in the southside
i made haste for the stripper party
though i didn’t know which alley to head for
alas, mcardles pub stayed aloof
i was toasted and the southside got bigger
with talkshow time only an hour away
then 45 minutes, then half an hour
and i couldn’t find mcardles
many alleys, all blind, no mcardles
no strippers, no off-duty pulchritude
finally, in despair, i surrendered
went to the lava lounge, plugged in my *****
painted my face and put on an indian headdress
i sang "piece of my heart"
sharing my misery with the audience
(yes we had an audience, a good one)
when i was done our mc alexie said
"he looks like one of the village people
but he sang the **** out of that song
let’s hear it for unfinished symphonies"
yeah let’s hear it for me
taking pieces of my ***** heart
and throwing them at the happy drunken
coked-up ladies at mcardles invisible pub

I met Lori at a beer pong table. She was tall. A trash talker. Beach blonde hair. Eyes blue, blue as the sky on an afternoon in July, when the weather was cool from a light rain. This was post-college—a house party, for young adults who wanted more from life than the typical 9-5. She wasn’t from NOVA. She was from Weston, FL. Her teammate was a guy she was with at the time—they ended up breaking it off and for a while she was dating Cam, a pro-bass fisher, a long distance relationship, but they loved each other. But at the table, I was competing with her teammate, later on I ended up mentally competing with Cam, which didn’t do any good except to make me chain-smoke jacks and drink bourbon. I had a girlfriend at the time—let’s just call her Voldy. My teammate was Lori’s best friend Erica. This girl had swagger; played beer pong like Dr. J, always got us roll backs. I was tall as **** for a Vietnamese American—still am tall as **** for a Vietnamese American (Don’t worry my guys, my family’s from the Southside)—and in college we had built a beer pong table, at a spot called the pink house. “We,” meaning my roommates and I: CJ, Trevor, and Samuel. The U.N. I had practiced daily, playing before class, playing after class. Height made a difference; some great basketball player once said you need to have game on and off the court. I wasn’t sure what court I was on when I was in that moment. Lori was more than appearance; more body language; more eye contact; more southern twang; and more astuteness, than a TED Talk combined with NPR, combined with The New Yorker, combined with Al-Jazeera and linked with Wikipedia on a ***** binge. I could talk all day about how she looked, how she dressed. But I told you what you need to know. She shot first, her right arm shaped like a swan, the type of swan that sits on a lake in the middle of a spring morning, the type of morning when the sky is blue with the eyes of a girl who has seen too much, been through too much, and has heard too much. She sank the shot. Her teammate roared. But all I could hear was Lori’s voice; soft as the piano notes played by Sakamoto’s right hand, loud as the piano notes played by Sakamoto’s left hand. Blu was not how I was feeling. Or maybe I was.
Because at this table I had to either take a loss,
or seal a win. I didn’t know what I wanted. But I wanted her. Wanted her, like how you wanted a postcard
from Santa when you were 5 years old, and it was opposite day. So you got the address wrong,
and the letter was never received. And your parents told
you to keep trying so you did, you did, and you did,
but you were young and naïve. You didn’t know
what was real and what was not real. And now I was
at a place in time, when the setting didn’t matter,
and the alcohol didn’t matter, and the drugs didn’t matter.
All that mattered was her.
Because when I shot that orange ping-pong ball,
I kept eye-contact with her eyes.
Blue, much more blue
than the water in the red solo cups we were playing with.
I wish it were water from the beaches in Florida,
beaches I could read a Salinger story on,
beaches I could rest on
beaches I could lay on,
lay and take in the sun
that rises above my soul
that aches for something more.
But Lori wasn’t Brett Ashley,
she was more Daisy Buchanan
than anything.
But does that make me Tom or Jay?
Jimmy or Nick?
I didn’t know and I still don’t know.
What I do know, is this;
the ball sank into the
first cup of the triangle.
Lori’s face went from cocky,
to frustrated, from frustrated
to relaxed,
from that
to a smile.
One that I remember, and one,
I won’t forget.
Because all I want to do is forget,
Take my memory and squeeze
the bad **** out,
twist the living **** out of it,
and burn it with a match.
Because she thinks I’m the one,
Who did her wrong, but it wasn’t me.
I put that on my integrity, even if my words don’t mean much to your ears: please listen.
I was inebriated, 3/4ths of the time we chilled.
So I didn’t know what was false and what was real.
You can check my temperature,
Because when you’re in my thoughts I get a fever
And hey, I shouldn’t have made a pass on your roomie
I should have thought before I texted, because now your trust in me has been affected.
We’re not talking. I can keep apologizing for what happened, but you don’t want to listen to a broken record.
I wish the bad memories would pass away and I guess they’re all in the past today.
Look, I don’t have a time machine
strong enough to change all the mistakes that I’ve made.
But take this as a time capsule,
this piece that I’m sharing. Like that piece we were sharing. The one that belonged to you.
The one I wish I could kiss again,
Because your lips touched it,
And mine never touched yours.

Wondaland, a.k.a. The Magic Metropolis
June 13th, 2021

Esteemed Readers and Writers, Gangstapoets and Hangarounds,

Gangstapoetry proudly declares that CREATION 96 is now the second unit of our Global Movement.

We are welcoming our new members. You are now a part of us. Much Love.

Tizzop


GANGSTAPOETS


**** 13.8  *  MIKEY DA STREETWISE  *  EAZY LEGS *  ADORABLE GREGGIE  *  MONICA MATADORA  *  SLY BOOTYGIRL  *  COLLAPSIN CHAOT  *  THE LADY REVENANT  *  BEEN  *  WOOZY WIZARD  *  TELLY  *  CRATERSKATER  *  CHEYENNE IS STARVIN  *  CASPER THE PSYCHOTIC GHOST 


GANGSTAPOETS


DESERT SAMURAI  *  PRESTON  *  ALBOW  *  SNOWBLADE  MUTANT  *  SAMBA  * 
UNKLE OF DOOM  *  PLAY  *  ANTWONE  * 
BOBBY BUTCHAH  *  TINA  *  JOEY  *  DREAM SEEKER  *  TRANCE DISCIPLE  *
*  MOTH  *  DR. ****  *  KOBA COBRATONGUE 


GANGSTAPOETS


SVETLANA  *  GUNJAHTOOL  *  LOUIS ORTGIES  *  MISHU BRAVE BEAR  *  GÖKHAN TATCHOUOP  *  DESOCIALIZED KID  *  WIND DIGGER  *  SABIÇ  * JUAN  * DEAL  *  LUCY TARANTULA  *  TEXAS HOLD ME  *  SOUTHSIDE DRILL ASSASIN  *  SHAWN  *  JAMMED JAY 



GANGSTAPOETS


THCO  *  TIMMY ROTTEN  *  PLATIN ZIPPO  *  WORLDWIDE WAGGING  *  ZOMBIE NEIGHBOR  *  BUTCH  *  KWAME'S LOST SON  *  TRANCE24/7  * JIMMY  *  JOSE, FELIPE & CATHERINE  * LAST OPTION PHIL  *  KIAN  *  MAX NEWMAN  *  MAGIC GOON

Poured into the tight pants,
the grey ones with the zipper
that's afraid of heights, and
guess what? They're really
wrinkled or very wrinkled
or **** wrinkled--but they're
the tight grey ones, assumed
the thighs and calves would
handle the ironing.
Ten minutes late,
usually more. The clock
in the car, the red beat-up
'02 Cavalier, is not behind
or ahead an hour, no it's
set to some vague time
because lateness has
replaced time so why
even worry. Blood pressure, etc.
Spray on the cologne kept
in the car. Could look
up ingredients in cologne
to describe the smell
but that would take
away a little something.
So say: it smells really good
or very good or **** good--
and move on.
Walk inside, unbathed and
sun burnt--well not completely
unbathed. Washed the hair
because it's a puffy, erratic
downer otherwise.
It's all about appearance,
the bosslady said when
she made the hire.
Slipped a little.
Big woop.
Cold called the Southside
Veterinary Clinic.
They'll allow a visit.
Pack it all in the bag,
the mouse pads,
the koozies, the actual
thing to be sold:
SHEENY PUPPY, some
really heavy or very heavy
or **** heavy duty
coat treatment for canines.
The first one is on me, is said
as the package is handed over.
The vet wouldn't buy. Not then.
Probably not ever.
Ate an eighty-calorie bag of cookies.
Drank some coffee.
Stopped at the gas station, the
Conoco on 15th and Kelly,
and couldn't decide between
the fun size or the party size.
This is called the spectrum of grief.
Bought a pack of cigarettes.
Smoked three really quick
or very quick or **** quick,
like Mom might show up any
second and then tossed the pack
and the lighter.
Done with those. Forever.
This time. Or that time.
There was $20.89 in the
checking account and
a fresh girlfriend reminding
that today is one month.
Dinner. Dinner and wine.
$20.89.
You can sell only if you believe in the product.
Be really blunt or very blunt or **** blunt.
Stress is an art.
Create FUD (Fear, uncertainty and doubt).
It’s all about the presentation.
She's fresh and funny and so
self-conscious when she eats
spaghetti. Can't get
by with spaghetti
for the one-month.
No. No. No.
Be on fire and inspiring.
If you don’t know the answer, ask a question.
Answer inquiries concisely and loudly.
Humor is ****.
You can always be better. You can never be worse.
Call Mom, donate plasma or take the Xbox back.
Is this one forever?
Does forever mean dinner and wine
are necessary?
Or does forever mean that
the spectacle is frivolous?
In the cabinet at work
someone left blueberry bagels.
There's a microwave and a tub
of margarine that only
recently expired.

Impeccable how the World moves at tremendous speed. The speed of how fast light can travel thru the erigna of the human eye. Mesmerized and contemplating to move forward submerged in endless possibilities of existance of its self refined to your taste character ****** and ****** attributes the human body has let alone a female human persona. For example I see a demonic world inside the rotten but beautifully corrupted shell the body the flesh the muscleskeletal system the neurapathic system the capabilities that person has what's its name and what type of things it has to do with being an alive force propelling not only capability to be kind or aggressive but yet passive and peaceful, but not only that the ANIMA a persona hidden within each human specimen I have come across peoples of all walks of Life's. Some characters as we Narraradors Of Doom predict the ANIMA of the Anti-Christ lives enshelled in a Human body is able to have capacities of a God-Like being yet deep within the destructive force that corrupts them is a Persona who will make you Shriek and Shriver in horror. The ANIMA is a shrift in parallelism complexes maximus which is a stellar system in the Whole Multi-Cosmos we live in. Constructed by a DeusMaxCyberAlienTechnology or what GOD in human society is known as nameless names and many names such as The Almighty God Immanuel, Jehovah, Allah, Creator, Maker of The Immortal Light Being The One Most Powerful One...Omnipotent, Omnipresent, One & Everything at Once where a HyperbolicChamber was constructed to Disquise it as a HorribleMonster in Governmental Sciences & Modern 21rst Century technologies cannot comprehend about this being is that he came from the Celestial Place In Heaven Called the MajesticAstralPlane where Kai's Come to Earth to put to shame the political/economical/social/cultural/bondaries is suppose to end all here. This is to oppressed people of the World... I am a person a lone human seeking the one understandable explanatory reason of why do we sometimes get mad at each other to the point of Killing one Another. Now many reasons coexist in a platora of time and continuous continum of time never stopping the flow of endless thoughts that can come to a person's head when you can contemplate of what the endless galaxies universes and existances come to an end. What you figure is a galaxic or perhaps an AstroProjection like feeling your body acquires in deep REM sleep and you seem to have like died but not yet dead. Your body possesses the ability to transgress from dimension to an ultimate-dimension where the soul of the human ANIMA can go to the 9th Plane Of Existance where the Kai's the World Protectors Of Each Planet that fits requirement of intelligence and intelligent beings being trapped in a Nexus Realm of existance what you may perceive as real is not real to me and I see bigger and better possibility of where you can do in a maacro-organism where species of all places characters and people can coo-exist in a human like society where people in itself live for 80-130 yes old in some societies.

The Fallen Angelic Armada That fell into planet Earth are beings able to blend into a macro-organic societicital standpoint and tell you the psyoananomy of any human specimen you put into an operating table. Not only that I know special points of weakness and interest in your Persona and ANIMA what hue what color of Aura befell upon thy head legions of spiritual locusts are slowly sweeping the planet with UltraSecretAgenda something so hideous so terrible a piece of information lost in time a hidden scroll I have been trying to acquire from a certain individual a person and an idea intellectual illicit and fancy something like a cyber/pathological/dd/svx13<>silent.virusx13 a code hacktivists groups Illuminati the alien races coo-existing with humans the hyper-dimension super/alter/personality personas where I a KingOfIllusion KingOfPerdition KingOfGrandFantasy exist this realm of reality in a parralium of existances all 8 of them colliding with each other where in one reality you could be a fly huge in size about the size of a normal human 175 pounds 6'0 ft IQ of a 113. In another dimension a human being in another a tiger with two tiger heads and hermaphrodite *** organs male and female alike. Yet in another dimension a elephant with 3 tails a bull with 3 eyes and 3 tails in another yet another a spider with 12 legs and another dimension a butterfly with 4 wings huge weighing in 100 to 120 pounds max able to fly highly intelligent creature of many colors textures and sizes. Another dimension a Seraphim with 4 Angellic Wings and a spiritual sword made of Ethereal Flames their colors Amber Red with Blue hues to it. The other the final dimension a Kishin a DemonLord who befell to planet Zarus to conquer its society and people with manipulation techniques so impeccable he was long dead before anyone found out he was the one causing Governments to fall and Wars to be wedged among people and its living habitats. THE DEMONIC AGENDAS are in place to create a New World Order where the key 13 players run the World in the Milky Way a small young Planet known as Earth the 3rd World away from the Sun it has a Collective ANIMA where people are being prompted for the slaughter the III World War is coming soon everything is going according to the plan enlined with the NWO and the Luciferian Movements going around the World today pushing the Gay Pride, Transexual/Transgender/Bisexuals/Heterosexual Agenda slowly transforming the young minds of children thru the Educational Systems Placed On Earth Centuries Ago. Slowly defecating and inventing a new armament of evil inventions to take over Planet Earth. The point to all this Madness is to crash World Markets and Invent False Sense Of Peace when the World is truly in turmoil. The Black Pope Argurus Galaxus is slowly formulating the perfect formula to take over this **** and all this little puppets in the Government working in those Magical/Demonic/Astral/Ethereal Planes and making information available to the masses. Thru the Internet or (World Wide Web) many people still seek fame, fortune, fortune telling, future seeking,******* and marrige. People are lost to the lies and ideals to a False Sense Of Grandiosity and Higher Power problem is that the Higher Power you seek is within YOU don't ever underestimate the power of a Human/DemonKing/Born of Light & Darkness both at the same time a GOD in many senses and a DEMON GOD attributes all at the same time...I am a Warmonger, Witch Doctor, Voodoist, Shaman, Connected to Alter and Hyper realities YOU DO NOT SEE
But yet I see them perfectly and is an Spiritual Warfare every day where Angels fight Demons and the Dead become Angel's and some become Demons some become Vampires, some Zombies some become Bat like Humanoids some other become Sorcerers others Witches and yet others come from a lianage of Nephelims and some come from the Lianage of Arch-Angels like Michael and Gabriel. Some are illumaned with prophecy some are illuminating the entity of Secret Luciferian Movement Societies that make sure everything goes according to plan.

After the 2nd Angellic War in Heaven the Arch-Angel from the Southside Of Heaven Azaziel had *** with a Succubus Queen named Aema FireBrand he was cast to the Lake Of Fire and Brimstone or Hell as humans call it hence he performed a dark ritual to allow Aema to come to the 3rd Dimension on the Milky Way Planet Earth (the 3rd Planet of our Solar System) and Possess a young Womans body and cast half of her being inside her body as a Generational Curse her name is Marlene Ruiz from the Land Of Mountains and Volcanoes Nicaragua.  Back in the summer of 1988 in Jinotega Nicaragua in the Neighboorhood 19 de Julio by Max Senqui Colegio para Niños (Max Senqui College for Kids where I went as a young boy to get knowledge about the basic Mathematics, English, Spanish and all other study of sciences of knowledge) my Mother got together with a man well above her years and had ******* with him and got impregnated by him and had me...my Father was possessed by Azaziel's Angel the Night they created me.

The Illuminati's the EYE OF THE DEVIL or if you see the symbolic symbology they have uncovered their true purpose thanks to the Necromancers Of the East and the Hacktivist Group ANONYMOUS are attacking Pentagon and the White House for their Evil Demonic Secrets. The Blue Code ~☆☆☆☆☆☆~ The 6 Dark Star Agenda where the Earth is seeking a new agenda to cover itself with World Peace Going Green & Creating New Ideologies and New Ways To **** All Human Beings playing with Fire I am here to tell you the truth about the Spiritual World Astral World Dream World and what is happening World Wide Today.  In the Deep Web there are files and video surveillance footage showing the Alien Technologies and Ancient Mysteries Being Uncovered by regular people guys wake UP and smell the coffee see there is a HUGE picture to all this I see the HUGE picture crystal clear ... the point is to keep you calm chill cool and collected but slowly implement their corrupted agendas like viruses to our Human Society. I am saying all this because for the idiots that don't believe that the World is NOT CONTROLLED BY LUCIFER is a fool in its truest form. Lucifer the Demon-King from the 9th Circle Of Hell is a Light Bearing Angel able to talk to God and also to humans at the same time it's TRUE intentions are not purely evil as everyone thinks he is actually fighting for this False Sense Of World Peace we ALL are seeking in Society TODAY. The Plan of the Illuminati is to enlighten and illuminate the Darkened History Of The Earth itself there is actually 33 books missing in the Bible. The Holy (yet corrupted and tainted Bible you PEOPLE READ) the Quo-ran the Book Sage of Ages and the Mallus Maleficarum are books of interest to many people that want to get informed about what does it all mean ...the 72 Keys Of Solomon and the Pagan Books recipes to Love Incantations & Enchantments and other things such as Alchemy and Dark Sorcery. Witches and Sorcerers ailments and Generational Curses that instead what they where originally placed in those certain peoples as Curse Mark's became their Highest Blessings a Holy Kiss from the Maker Of Souls. So in other Words I am saying is am a manufactoration of a Arch-Angel & a Queen Of Devils and don't need a GUN to assassinate you all I have to do is speak something into existence and it's good as DONE
So I can say this when I say your cursed you are INDEED cursed and when I say you BLESSED you are BLESSED indeed for I talk to GOD Arch-Angels and Seraphyms And Guardian Angels... yet I know how to summon Demonic Forces and Plagues Of Minion Armadas Spiritual Armadas that Control so much $$$ Gold & Diamonds in other Galaxies. I am a Black Diamond a KING a Pharaoh a GOD on Earth and in Heaven for if you truly believe you don't need a Savior you are built to SAVE YOURSELF. I control legions of a 1000 Angel's and a 1000 Demons at the same time a power so complex so profound and amazing I cannot yet truly comprehend it all at once. I been speaking to this 2000 entities living within my body ever since I was 6 years old when my Arch-Angel Father Azaziel and Mother Aema showed themselves to me... and told me what I must do with such power from that day on everything changed is as if I had unlocked the keys to the Multi-Verse which in a sense is true. However with Great Power comes Great Responsibility. I remember faces for a life time but forget easily directions and female vibes are too complex for me to sometimes grasp. Anyway everyone has the potential to unlock invisible force and chakras points of ethereal energy in power that manifest themselves from Light to Dark hues. How I can read AURAS and AURORAS and the SKY, EARTH, ROCKS, WOOD, ANIMALS, INSECTS, POINTS OF PERCEPTION, ENERGY LVS and DESTINY TRAILS & INTERPRET DREAMS FORM OR DISINTEGRATE DRAMA & FUSE ILLUSION WITH REALITY SO EASILY & ITS FLOW REMAINS CONSTANT NON STOPPED AND SO SUBTLE THAT IS PRACTICALLY IMPOSSIBLE TO NOTICE WHAT I MAY BE PONDERING ON INSIDE MY MIND AND INTELLECT OR ANIMA My ANIMA Is highly difficult and impossible to comprehend fully for I cannot be created or destroyed I am similar to time, space, water, fire, air, real & fake all at the same time. I am here I am everywhere I want to be I create I destroy I have the power to give Life yet take it away if I choose to. Nevertheless, the truth we must all poets must work together to put an end to this tyrannical evil demonic & what seems like an indestructible Governmental Outer/Inter Infrastructure and bring more people all the "What if this...what if that's and endless arrays of possible words and mumbo jumbo you can conglomerate together to sound good ....am NOT HERE TO SOUND GOOD Am here to  tell you the One you know As GOD is here on Earth and his identity is secret for now but soon you will all be bowing DOWN to the NEW KING OF JERUSALEM. I'll talk more about all this...time for bed...Good Night Inspiring Young & Old Alike Man or Female Poets reading this MAY GOD Save you in the day of reckoning. Thank You Lord for saving a wretched fool like me. I am a prisoner in Christ that is certain. God bless Humanity.


To Be Continued...        

Franko The Christian Poet
Copy-written 2019 All Rights Reserved.

for two years
every day had a purpose:
get more ******.
weeks became punctuated with
Narcan in mcdonalds bathrooms
and breaking your ribs
trying to make you breathe again-
when my hands come down on your chest
i go back to the seventh grade
someone is explaining that birds' bones are hollow because they were born to fly-

why is there such sick pleasure in this?
it was never as simple as wanting to get high-
first day: i can't think of the baby that died I need to get high
second day: I can't think about the boy that ***** me I need to get high
over and over and over
we would make love on the ******,
forgive our faults as soon as we found a vein
sharing a needle, you've been deeper inside of me than anyone-

i'm sober now. moved thirty miles north.
they took you away from me and the ******
my days aren't marked with purpose anymore
it's been fourteen days since I finally thought of the child I'm still scared to mourn
and the boy whose name I am too scared to whisper when I am alone

I have not left my house in fourteen days
and i can't breathe deeply;
I broke my rib on day one

Her backbone is a long stretch of American western highway
I trace my fingers eastbound/westbound across the slats of her ribs
pressed against the skin ready to pop
She left southside Midlothian Virginia as soon as she was old enough to make her own bad decisions
sick of being looked at
eyes grading like the big fat red D's stamped on her math homework
She left by foot
bus
plain
train
that grey jetta with the scratch down the passenger side from where she parked too close to that ugly Subaru
she left me
but she needed to breathe some air that wasn't stale with mediocre pretension and the frat house odor of stale beer and sawdust
so run wild
fly free
may your lips utter cliches without fear of derision
go make your life an incredible story
beautiful
ugly
hard to look at
can't look away
make your life a story
and I'll record it

Winter dies
Spring comes alive
There is no Autumn in Chicago
And Spring leaves as quickly as it arrives
Jolting us to what is always an uncertain Summer
That’s my city
Just like my heart
My love life
Chicago
I don’t have one without the other
Mashed up together
Yet separated
Segregated
Deep Love on the Northside
Lover on the Southside
Sidekick on the Westside
And when it’s all too much to handle
The East is my escape
Sitting on the rocks letting my legs dangle and toes dip in the icy cold greenish lake
I feel comfort in it
Immense and wide spread, like me sometimes
Clear but *****
Supposedly the cleanest water you can drink
After the city purifies it of course
Just like me, just like mine
My vessel pours clear and *****
But the city purifies me through cleansing nights
Through raised glasses of wine and music that harmonizes my heart
Kisses that clean and absorb
Tongue that licks off the saltiness I’ve accumulated
A thin layer
Its washed off and cleared from one moment to the next
Like the city skyline
And I’m ready for a new day
A new love
Or lover
I reincarnate in the Spring from what seems a slow death but was only a tormenting hibernation
Led into another uncertain Summer
Returning with scorching tenderness through cool breezes and radiating heart
Radiating sun
That’s how it feels in Chicago
That’s my City
Just like my Heart
I don’t have one without the other

I know you haven't heard from me in years .
I thought I'd write just to let you know that Tommy Faulkner died , you know passed away . I didn't even know it until it was all over . Don't even know what he died from . Heidi told me . Oh , you don't know Heidi , my fist and third wife . She and Tommy were good friends . Last I heard about you , you were moving to North Carolina , your home by birth . But your home was always with us  here on the Southside of Birmingham . Sigh !
I hoped you made a big splash back home when you arrived . Such a polar extreme . I kept your poems for years until Heidi threw out my box of poetry ,with yours included .
Also Steven Sedbury's . You remember him ? Last I heard about you , you had a brain tumor and you passed away . Now I stand alone with my ghosts and I have no address to send my posts .
      Love Thomas

When it's all going smooth, you're talking millions weekly
JC is on his way, to pick up bundles of illicit US drug money
Trouble is getting it back to Mexico and depositing in the banking secretly  
There are members of the cartel, that have anywhere up to $300 million, pure honey.


Just sitting idle in their houses and they can't spend or use of it, not even a bit
Once you've gone into partnership with the cartels
You're only handling their money or changing it
You can't leave, they'll find you, kidnap your family and Fedex them back as parcels
They tell you "you have to do this"
If not, they will **** you and they don't ever miss.


Here is the money. What do I with it then?
I get 5 ID's and I'm going to the currency exchange to change the dollars again
You always have to give $200 to the cashier, which we put in here
She logs into the system and records the transactions, that appear
Just as though they were made by tourists
Then we pass them onto our cartel bosses, who are very near us.


The cash is now laundered and its origin erased
They can deposit their money, which is now clean into Pesos, that can't be traced
But this cash started its journey 3,000 miles away
One of the biggest narco distribution hubs in America, I'd say
The windy cities railway, port and interstate highway systems, are the best
Making it the ideal location, distributing Dope and Cash from across the Midwest.


Approximately 70% of the US population lives within a day's drive of Chicago
The Southside is where a lot of the business gets done, just like in Eldorado  
Every deal is a drop in the bucket, that contributes to a mighty river of cash
Chicago has over 70 gangs, with up to 150,000 members, who are all smoking hash
Making it the largest and badest gang capital of the America’
Handling the retail, an army of local gangbangers we call the Drug Gangsta's.

A man of twenty
Looks much younger
Waiting at the southside bus station in a
Suit and sneakers,
Hat strings
Dangling into his collar,
Anxious with his hands idle.

A man holding my bags and waist
On a subway train that
Shakes our bodies closer
Looks his age and older,
Holding us still.

I love the skyline of my city
in the day, brilliant and bright
at night, glowing with the stars.

Coming down from the mountain,
the lights engulf the cars.
The iron messenger welcomes me
pointing at the sky
above the lovely brick and metal
that make up this history.

Rich with history, indeed it is.
Chills run down my spine
to know the horrors these buildings have seen.
No rain can make up
for the tears that have fallen on these sidewalks.
No bricks can build up
what cruelty has broken down.
No memorial can drive away
the haunting absence felt in that great church.

But there is beauty in this
in that life still remains.
That someone lives to paint the lower walls on Southside
or protect the cobblestone beauty of Morris Avenue.
That we know now where we have been
enough to have come this far.

The skyline says these things to me
it whispers them at sundown.
"We are here, we live
and we live artfully, wonderfully, triumphantly."
The lights glow with pride
and the buildings shine with change.

I love the skyline of my city
because it brings hope.

Never have my eyes
Seen so much sadness.
Never have these eyes
Seen so deeply into
An enigma of finesse.

Your bones are of silver,
Destructive yet divine.
Your strength from a father,
Your safety aligned.
Your blood is of iron,
The veins are now rusted.
But your heart is still running,
With love now entrusted.

An infant of ignorance,
A child of sorrow.
The young man of dreams,
Your hopes for tomorrow.
A meeting of chance, the southside and diner
Such an innocent way,
For love to acquire.

But now the leaves have gone missing,
The trees, filled with death
Have blocked out the sunshine,
And pierced the pearls chest.
The young man of dreams
With the cracked pearl in heart,
Looks into the mountain
And screams in the dark.

But the fire never fades, and the heart, still pumping
Flows fast and determined,
To keep them from crumpling.
The pearl cries softly, trapped in her mind.
But strong hands protect her
And kind words breathe, “time”.

The white snowfall stops twice,
The sweet spring sings again,
And again.
The long summer rains for two.
But only once does the autumn wind,
Bring October to its end.

A young man of dreams,
With the pearl in his hands,
An inevitable season,
With freedoms demand.
Together, finale,
The pearl is released.
And over the mountain they kiss,
Forever in peace.
_

'08

We  do not have to know the man who  walks
three hours northside to southside  of town
past green bluegrass lawns, over white
picket fences, around chains of
snapping curs and through
vegetable patches to his
home willed him by
his dead mama;

knowing him is not necessary,
helping him is our responsibility.

When it's all going smooth, you're talking millions weekly
JC is on his way, to pick up bundles of illicit US drug money
Trouble is getting it back to Mexico and depositing it into a bank, secretly
There are members of the cartel, that have anywhere up to $300 million, pure honey.


Just sitting idle in their houses and they can't spend or use of it, not even a bit
Once you've gone into partnership with the cartels
You're only handling their money or changing it
You can't leave, they'll find you, kidnap your family and Fedex them back as parcels
They tell you "You have to do this"
If not, they will **** you and they don't ever miss.


Here is the money. What do I with it then?
I get 5 ID's and I'm going to the currency exchange, to change the dollars again
You always have to give $200 to the cashier, which we put in here
She logs into the system and records the transactions, that appear
Just as though they were made by tourists
Then we pass them onto our cartel bosses, who are very near us.


The cash is now laundered and its origin erased
They can deposit their money, which is now clean, into Pesos that can't be traced
But this cash started its journey 3,000 miles away
One of the biggest narco distribution hubs in America, I'd say
The windy cities railway, port and interstate highway systems, are the best
Making it the ideal location, distributing dope and cash from across the Midwest.


Approximately 70% of the US population, lives within a day's drive of Chicago
The Southside is where a lot of the business gets done, just like in El Dorado
Every deal is a drop in the bucket, that contributes to a mighty river of cash
Chicago has over 70 gangs, with up to 150,000 members, who are all smoking hash
Making it the largest and badest gang capital of America
Handling the retail, an army of local gangbangers, we call the Drug Gangsta’s.

Chop n ***** it to bits
Just mix a little, then taste all da blenz
Dolby two sided cassette re-mix
Plastic record kinds, always my frendz
Trippin' like now, da way dat we do
Ya ***** nor crew just can't explain
Absolute phenomenal my man, whoa!
Leanin' on da switch, gave us instant fame

Doin' it on a regular, everyday
Even city folk can relate, in sum strange way
Slab kings rising from the dead
No motor, no nothin', nothin' but crew
Yellowstone candy, if dats wat ya fancy
Or black, bolly boyz, colored candy
Black sheriff riding *******, along da Southside
Giddy up, Giddy up, never you mind

Drinkin' drank, scissor or lean
Know dat we really can be mean
We in da ***** house, not in **** lockup
Get ya cups, then take a seat, backup
3'N da mornin' we ****
Sippin' on da syrup, smokin' on ya dope
Yo *****, Candy, lick it all up
Wat it does, is it gives da hood hope

waste of space is what they are told
little change is given with a scold
tattered clothes and a worn out face
regardless of age they all look cold
It doesn't make a difference
Some followed their dreams while others filled their veins with venom to spark the pain inside the seems  
It doesn't make a difference
We all have choices
As we choose apartments
They choose park benches
As we choose which stiped tie
They choose a free flannel from a thrift store on the SouthSide
So get in their shoes
Though they may not have any
Lay your head on a cold brick wall
And beg for a penny
Watch every face pass by like a ghost  
Like the ones that haunt you in your sleep
As your body tries to sink into the street
Just try to feel bold
And then maybe think to ask next time
What's it like out here alone in the cold?

Yeah ,
you shiver in the dark
Your shadow hugs you tight
As in the meantime

You get a colored drink
In a crowded bar
Where you are nobody
Nobody is your name

The band is Dixie
line 'em up and down
Four time and rhyme
Loud !Loud ! Loud !

The pixies ply
you for their drinks
Sluring filthy things
You cain't help but crack a smile

There are
white breasted women
stepping up to the microphone
Sing ! Sing ! Sing !

The hour is getting late
Looking for a mate
So you slip off
a golden ring

Competition is ways and mean
Way down on southside
When they play under the lights
On Friday nights

Uh ripping poets up
Til they showing guts
Why cuz I got the biggest nuts strut
Standing long longer than traffic
Dark as an attic critics
Get jumped like crickets stick it
To ya cuz I'm wicked
Hate to sound harsh but I'm realistic
Kicking statistic style be mystic
Sick with the flow that I throw
Looking fo bolo but I roll solo
Black Rambo
Army of one with extended ammo
Never In camo-
Flauge stay in threes
****** you like *******
Haters see the stars embedded with scars
Tell me about ohh child no smiles
On my face **** the paperchase
I'm trying to end the rat rAce
While y'all chase I place first
Vengeance is mine thus the Lord gave me the shine as I blind
You mediocre cuz I'm about to yoke the jokers

If I give you 80 minutes
Of a head start
I'll still catch up plus my guard
Is large don't need a charge
Battered up by the solar Sun
Fall to none reigning champions
Cuz all the flippers is lame son
Sound the alarm cuz I'm getting warmer
Swarming ya
Like honey to bees wind to breeze
Can't knock me down kid
Once I Sneeze ya back up before I act up
Corrupt government attornies
Get smacked up tore up
From my muthaphukkin Mack
Never turn yo back
Cuz them critics Will chit chat
Watch the fights break out Southside is where I'm running at
Safe haven I'm misbehavin
Got too many spirits wise
Considered maven
Thoughts dark as a raven
Wrinkle the game up dryer than raisin
He'll raising
Cuz chaos in the streets
Poets move ya feet put it to sleep
Cuz I'm in too deep
Like ***** making **** noises choices
By me made carefully
Led my enemies to they fatality
Final destiny
To he'll where ya soul dwells
Castin spells learned it well
Fools poppin gums and um poppin shells
Ghost open just hoping
How can ya stop me
But the resurgence of rhymes is too sky high Braille third eyes
Hypnotize lies posed in guise
Show you a picture of broken scripture through out the textures
I'm.laying my aesthetic poetry
**** any and everybody
That got a way with the problems I swing
Once again ya mediocre I'm locin ya yoke a joker

sonz of fullfilled prophecy
Suckas denyin and defyin me
still rise like a G
born a troop
quick to scoop
any out the scene one man team cream
so none cant harm me
tried to bomb me
but forgot this was M.O.B
revengin' like shinobi
a soldier
stayin' heavily strapped
**** cocked back
like when im putin' **** in a ***** back got paperstacks for days
so how the **** did i slack?
still black as ever too too clever endeavor
bang on em with my flow
leave all my enemies exposed
with bullets holes through
there ****** clothes
God bless the dead i aint scared
to die with two pistols
pointed at my eye
picture me in a cemetery
but no photos of me
unmarked cuz im livin carefree
throw up that southside it aint no gang
we mas made from dynasties of lost kangs
catch ya sleepin' but mini-14 stay creepin'
straight notorious outlaw
destined for crime
split ya from jaw to jaw raw from my maw
and feel this
i got shot with 5 glocks?
N they still couldnt rock
me six feet deep got me boxin in my sleep
feelin' like Rocky cocky built strong so ya kno im.stocky
tried to block me but still came out on top
hustled a knot now jealous *** jews want what i got
my plot too strong so we'll last long
transform
all my pen brothers home
in a mansiom of my own
takin back the panthas throne
bustin' at the commission
with ten million in ammunition
**** em and watch the fall off the reign
straight out the frame
no fortune or fame
burnt like a flame
when we mob ya **** become departed
takin it back to Israel
my home where it all started!!

us the first to bust who do we trust