"scooby" poems
First there is the prep.
The roommate.
Wearing salmon colored pants.
He has Shaggy from Scooby Doo
On his left thigh.
The alcoholic.
She has a drinking problem.
She is in denial of her drinking problem.
She hangs out with the loners.
The loners.
Unkempt, unattractive and fat in all the wrong places.
The blond looks like Tom Petty.
The one with dark hair, glasses and braces
They live next door.
Living together but segregated.
Wild cards.
All of us.
©Gambit '13
Aug 28, 2013
Aug 28, 2013 at 9:10 AM UTC
Take a butchers at this me old Chinas.
Slip ya Plates o' Meat into ya Jacks,
brew up a nice cup o' Rosy,
and if you haven't got a Scooby what I'm on about,
feel free to fire me off a Jimmy Nail
and tell me it's a load of old cobblers.
Can you Adam an' Eve it,
I left me Dog 'n' Bone on the Apples
and when I went to call the Trouble 'n' Strife
some joker had Half-Inched it.
But that's not the worst of it.
When I got back to the Cat and Mouse
she'd done a bunk in me shiny new Jam Jar.
I couldn't believe me Pork Pies!
So here I am all on me Todd,
me only transport a ****** old **** van ****
Gordon Bennett!
I'm goin' down the ****** for a few Britneys,
gonna get totally Brahms and List
and blow a big fat raspberry at the whole thing.
Tomorrow's another bale 'o' hay.
Sep 14, 2012
Sep 14, 2012 at 3:20 PM UTC
Is something you called me once.
Is it so bad that I thought it was-
Adorable as **** I hope it's not,
Because that sure would ****
We use to be closer,
I wish that we still were.
But you and I are in-
different, time-zones that is.
My self confidence has lowered,
Since we've become distanced.
It's true Thunder Lord,
Do you fear my existence?
I wonder if you do.
While you're up top,
Being Scooby-Dooby-Doo!
You know I have no clue.
I'm gig- gig- giggling so hard,
Right now. Who knew that this,
Scrub Lord could be such a clown?
I guess I knew, somewhere deep down.
I feel pretty silly writing all of this now.
After all you've labeld me.
Which I've done to you as well.
But it sure as hell wasn't easy.
I wrote this kind of fast.
Using memories from,
The past. A past that
Includes you in the cast.
I hope you don't mind me,
Spilling all of this out now.
I just didn't know how to say-
This stuff, it's kind of sacred.
Like a cow is to someone who-
Believes in Hinduism. Oh man,
I feel like I'm crossing some lines,
So I'll finish up, just give me time.
But it is true,
I do miss you.
And I wonder,
If you miss me to.
I don't care about what's happened.
Really, it's in the past now.
And I don't go there that often.
Just when I need to remember something.
So tell me ol' Voli?
Am I still your Annie?
I am being so cheesey.
Just say you'll support me.
And I promise I'll carry-
You.
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 12:53 AM UTC
If I could be a cartoon character
Which one would I be
I thought about being Fred Flinstone
But he's too old-fashioned for me
And then there's maybe George Jetson
A man who knew electronics
Nothing like Yosemite Sam
Who needed to be hooked on phonics
And what about Shaggy and Scooby
You gotta love those scooby snacks
I've never really considered a Smurf
And their tiny little mushroom shacks
Or maybe I'd become a super hero
Who comes to save the day
Batman , Green Hornet or Underdog
Who puts the bad guys away
Maybe I'd live in Jellystone Park
Where Yogi is still the king
For "Hello Mr Ranger Sir"
Is just the funniest thing
© All Rights Reserved
Dec 7, 2010
Dec 7, 2010 at 2:11 AM UTC
Swirling a frosty straw
Stuck up like a victory flag in winter ground
With my lips wrapped around it
I stare into this empty canvas
of a vanilla malt
And project my cartoonish headaches
into it to devour it
Oh those Scooby Doo monsters
Shadows that lurk to cut my Tom & Jerry humor
Only to formulate semblances of evil
A Mojo JoJo caricature
I then project into my milkshake
His smirk haunts the smile of Tweety Bird
In my Hanna-Barbara mindfield
Colorful spirals of animated joys
Let me know slurp Elmer Fudd shotgun
That was mugging my creativity
And robbed me of my motive
Let me taste the refreshing winds
That flow through the deserts of Road Runner
Taking laps around my heart
With its true intentions in a love letter
I will never get
Soon slurped and eaten to take away the thoughts
And now I hope I can drink another
To rip out the rest of the pain that in my heart
Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 4:49 PM UTC
Pooey, pooey, poo. Gee, I smell you. It's time to take a bath now.
Stinky, stinky, doo, you friends do to. You reek and oh you stink, wow!
So could you hurry to the shower and rub some soap all over you *** Don't hold back!
And if you do remove the peu you'll find your friends won't gag and hack. That's a fact!
So pooey, pooey, poo. What will you do? There's a bathtub fillin'.
Stinky, stinky, doo. It's up to you. To wash off that penicillin.
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 8:27 PM UTC
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
So many sellouts claimin' they real when they only want a mass stage appeal
****** swear they be down for the hood? but how while living lavish in the white neighborhoods?
This ***** turned scooby doo ****** where the **** are you? You loosin' ya black views
How the **** you gone say slavery was a choice I remember when you had a voice
Ever since you called Bush out it seems like got drained out
Gallons of blood a spiritual transfusion ***** ya loosin'
Ever since your lips ****** on that white ******* **** **** them Kkkhardashians say it louder once the mic enter my hands enemies get the sweatin' cuz of my verbal weapon
yeah ya been coming out makes me doubt
No wonder why they call you gay fish half of them ******* is really *******
In the celebrity world where boys is girls and girls is boys seduced by the evilness that swirls life ain't about diamonds and pearls
Pandoras box dusty as **** so no need to throw a fit Kanye I got a black polished AK' forty seven ready to send you to heaven
No ladder leaning on a stagger soon to end up a plastic bagger
Coroner's dinner deaths the winner while ya visions growing thinner
**** what ya stand for I take you back through the "wire" throw gasoline all over you then light a fire burning your empire
**** your kids and ya legacy none of us admire
Your coonery I'll crown you with thorns full of barbed wire til your soul transpires
Yeah punk ***** so
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
I say **** kanye **** kanye **** kanye yea yea eeeee
Also **** them white ***** kkkhardashian once again letting you know how they do brothers in
****** go crazy or end up in the pen or another gender trend
**** making friends **** chasin' ends
And if you wanna join kanye ya casket ready soon to be tucked in ....
Night night you ***** ******* die slow
May 2, 2018
May 2, 2018 at 10:31 AM UTC
Grandma had a clever dog;
She raised him from a pup.
And when he learned that he could talk
You couldn't shut him up.
His tail was just a nubbin
And he had a flattened mug.
He looked like a short boxer
So grandma named him pug.
Grandma told us what he looked like
For we never saw the cuss.
Her walking, talking, Pug Dog
Was invisible to us.
She said he'd always been around,
As far as she recalled.
Her mother told Pug stories
Before grandma even crawled.
Every family has traditions
And I guess I'd have to say,
Pug tales have been our custom
Right down to this very day.
When grandma gives a long deep sigh
And says, "Now, one day Pug. . ."
We know a story's coming
So we sit down on the rug.
We nestle up beside her
For a tale we've never heard.
And everyone gets quiet
So that we won't miss a word.
The stories grandma tells us
Of the things that dog can do
Can hold any child's attention,
Even fill a book or two.
Grandma's Pug tales outdo Rin-Tin-Tin
And even Scooby-Doo.
He's a smarter dog than Snoopy;
Smarter than Lassie too.
Pug has traveled far, to distant lands,
And even outer space.
He's done every thing there is to do
And he's been every place.
He always gets in trouble
For there's nothing he won't try.
He has traveled in a sub-marine,
Flown airplanes in the sky.
He has even been arrested,
More than once broke out of Jail.
But the family loves him dearly
And we always pay his bail.
Where grandma gets her stories from
I guess I'll never know.
But even down through all these years
Her Pug tales grow and grow.
I know someday when grandma sleeps,
And her life on earth is gone,
The Angels all will gather
To hear Pug tales all day long
Sep 24, 2010
Sep 24, 2010 at 4:49 PM UTC
Thinking you've got hidden depths
When really you've got about as much mystery surrounding you
as an average episode of Scooby Doo.
Creepy Janitor, we all know it's you!
Jan 7, 2015
Jan 7, 2015 at 1:18 PM UTC
Casually caressing
the comedy of life
A child knows not
tragedy’s strife.
There is always another dream
toy or friend
for their fetal-esteem.
They spell their grammar
with candy and curiosity
while maintaining a history
in smile and laughter.
The heroism of Joe
the G.I.
and the beauty of a Barbie
are created impulsively and
fueled by imagination and apple juice.
A bike is not
a means of transportation
but rather
meant to be raced and jumped.
Scooby-Doo
and the ****** Tunes should
rule Saturday mornings
from their throne in the tube.
Monkey bars and playgrounds,
are not merely a facility
to upkeep physical activity.
Instead
it is a kingdom of escape
engineered by make-believe
funded by risk-taking
and motivated by the
eradication of the cootie-plagued
and ****** pickers.
Where did time go,
when these bones grew old
this brain grew dull
and these hands lost their callus?
The world is cruel
for the elder mind.
Yet, for our youthful kin,
Society does not exist
in coloring books
and world peace is only found
in imagination and apple juice.
Jan 11, 2013
Jan 11, 2013 at 2:02 AM UTC
Ever see two sappy ****** in the a park holding hands no ******* clue there on the verge of sugar coated
insanity that twisted mind **** known as love.
Yeah you ignore all the warnings of sanity ***** it im in love!
You just cant get enough of each other you **** like two rabbits
and it's perfect but thats never good enough the way it is.
Oh **** no cause then after you sample ya gotta commit and unlike suicide
there isnt a happy ending.
Then one of you starts to wonder hey ya think are they cheating?
Well if they are tahn im sure as hell going to!
Like two kids you have to out do the other.
Hey I ****** your sister!
Yeah well I ****** your brother and your ******** cousin.
Yeah now it makes sense why he's been so dam happy.
Love is the poisen that ***** up the pie children like it or not it is.
It's like the sober ***** at the party who usedto be fun till he found Jesus
or some other superhero and wants to tell you how better his life is now.
When all truth the guy wants to crack you over the head steal your beer
but his head between a pair of big tit's and say **** being sober lets drink till we hit the floor.
Yeah sure you may think Im a ***** and that love is everything thjat makes this marble roll.
Yeah and if thats so Santa Claus is coming to town and he's bringin Elvis and Tupac and there
gonna have ******** with Lady Ga Ga While Scooby Doo films it.
Love does exist of course.
Sure I see the old farts who been togather for so long they dont even have to tell
each other how much they dislike the other.
Love is a moment nothing more.
And like red wine in the hand of some old lush you just pray
it doesnt get spilled on the carpet cause it's hell to get out.
But for the young and horney out there enjoy the fun that happens befor that
std kicks in cause kids sometimes love hurts and really ****** burns.
Oct 5, 2011
Oct 5, 2011 at 3:31 PM UTC
I want you
more than Plankton
wants the Krabby Patty secret formula.
I need you
more than Wile E. Coyote
needs functional ACME products.
I love you
more than the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles love pizza,
more than Winnie the Pooh loves honey,
more than Scooby-Doo loves Scooby Snacks.
Apr 18, 2011
Apr 18, 2011 at 2:43 PM UTC
Brian has a Subaru, he drives it very fast
He likes to see the people look as he goes whizzing past
Brian thinks he's special a celebrity of sorts
Tearing up and down the street with his oversized exhaust
The truth is Brian no one gives a toss
They look in hope and pray you write your Scooby off!
Jul 22, 2013
Jul 22, 2013 at 3:52 AM UTC
I think the Illuminati is real
And your body's the peel and your soul is the fruit
And they goal is to steal and control all the juice
I seen way too many pyramids, that's from from Kufu
Foofoo ****** out here snaking on the reggo
You should ask a snake where its legs go
But then again I'm smoking on the medical
Got the white owl look like an egg roll
And that was Scooby snacks, Petco
I'm a lunatic that belong inside a loony bin
I burned it down for you because I love you
Now I'm movin' in
Ooh a condominimum, ****** in ya enema
Bumpin' Kanye like it just came out
No songs with Kendrick, we just hang out
They say a smart man looks like a mad man to a dumb man
But one man... wait I'm tweakin'
Jan 12, 2014
Jan 12, 2014 at 10:40 PM UTC
Scooby dooby doo
Where are you?
I miss you so
Please don’t go
Don’t leave me in this world alone
Without you at home
It would break my heart
To see your car start
At least do me one favor
And let your break lights show
Ill stand in their glow
In the freezing cold snow
Motionless for hours
Letting my mind sour
I get scared
And then I cower
Please don’t ever leave my side
You won’t have anything to hide
I will make our world amazing
Sitting out back gazing
You never have to escape
Please never doubt me
And promise you won’t leave
I can’t live without you
I’ll make all your dreams come true
Just us, the two
No Date
Ashli Jane
Dec 23, 2009
Dec 23, 2009 at 8:07 AM UTC
he likes neck kisses and being called "sweetheart."
he drinks milk when he eats peanut butter,
offer to pour it for him.
he loves pugs and his dog, scooby.
if you're not best friends with scooby by the first month,
you're doing something wrong.
when he tells you you're beautiful,
it is easier to just agree.
when he takes you home,
allow plenty of time to say goodnight (he takes forever).
he hates crunchy peanut butter.
he'll give you his jackets and hug you until you stop crying.
if you watch lord of the rings with him, bring kleenex.
know and understand star wars references or you're *******
he is an incredible writer.
he'll buy you lots of things for christmas,
do not try to compensate.
if he isn't the best boyfriend you've ever had,
you're not giving him enough credit.
love him, he deserves it.
and i kinda hope you never exist,
because i'm not done loving him yet
and i don't think i ever will be.
Jan 10, 2015
Jan 10, 2015 at 1:03 AM UTC
A long trailer
In a sombre forest
Two young boys creep
Through a long corridor
One blond and fair
The other is sometimes mistaken
For an immigrant from India
The floor is sticky and smells
From spilt pink lemondae
Scooby Doo cries out from the TV
"Jeepers Creepers it's the Creeper!"
The two boys watch wide eyed
Scooby's antics and Shaggy's
Immense appetite
They giggle and scream
In delight
As a ghostly axe misses Scooby
By a hair
The movie is over and it's time to go
It's dark out, scarily dark
They laugh nervously
But jump into the large truck
Both clad in the trappings
Of young explorers:
***** sweat pants
T shirts with wolves
Hair bleached by the sun
Skin dark and freckled
Finger nails ***** from building forts
And muddy shoes from testing
If river banks are as solid as they look.
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 8:49 PM UTC
I'm getting desperate cuz I'm getting distant.
The royal coachmen is the trailer park I used to live in.
Pinecones, stray cats and the candy man.
In the kitchen I dug a hole for a mouse to live in.
For God's sake momma, could you puke a little quieter, don't let dad know you're sick cuz this house isn't a home when you're gone.
Cold mornings Scooby doo blankets and hospital beds.
Dad tells me mom is sick again.
The hospital is no place to live in.
God ****** dad step up, make this a place to live in.
At 5 years old, my momma asks her momma to move in.
I'm getting distant cuz I'm getting desperate.
A little town named Charleston.
When you walk up the side walk and you see the willow, just know it's weeping because it's heard everything.
Just to let you know there's a piece of glass in the side walk, not diamond.
I know that cuz I bent too many butter knives trying to make a fortune.
Yellow walls, barn cats and god.
It took me 12 years to find somewhere to believe in.
Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 3:11 AM UTC
Underdog was cold and tired
When he took his first red pill
Hidden within his ring
On his K-9 finger
It was quite the mighty thrill
Scooby-Doo and Shaggy too
What's in those Scooby Snacks
Up against the perils of evil
Yet the snack still brings you back
Mighty Mouse and his magic powder
He snorted magic up his nose
When I was just a little kid
So many years ago...
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 10:46 AM UTC
*Note: I wanted to be able to read this almost in the voice of either Shaggy from Scooby-Do or like a really nervous like, crazy kind of guy in a group session. So hopefully if you can imagine any of those voices while reading this then it'll make it even better.
Hello, my name's Paul Lauer. This is my first group kind of session so I guess I'll start off by saying I have an addiction ! I can't stop doing it, no matter where I go. In my room, in the shower, in the woods, in my therapist bathroom like four year ago before it was my turn to have my thoughts dissected. I feel so ***** admitting it but I think it's time I washed my hands of this when I say: I love to daydream.
I know, some of you may or may not be shocked. It's almost obvious to the ones who see through my facade of a confident white teenager. For starters my shaky left hand, constantly gripping my sturdy, hard pen while I put thoughts onto paper. Each word sloppier the faster I write, ink spewing itself then drying awkwardly on my pinky cause lefties drag when they write.
The more I think the greater intensity the daydream is. It's like I'm in the fantasy itself. Don't get me wrong though, I like romance just as much as the next person does. But there's just something about spontaneous daydreaming that gets me so heated, I can feel my blood pumping faster throughout my body it feels like I might pass out from exhaustion.
I feel so ashamed but when I whip my imagination out in public I just can't stop. I have to see through it to the very bitter tasting end. Does the warrior save his girlfriend from the onslaught of giant evil robots trying to crush them? I don't know, but what I do know is that I love to use my imagination while I daydream.
Especially in public.
May 6, 2014
May 6, 2014 at 7:54 AM UTC
I'm a nervous wreck,
my anxiety gets so high these days,
I can feel it in my neck.
Pulse. Pulse.
Beat. Beat.
Nervous as Scooby-Doo.
As if a monster roamed the street,
to turn me into stew.
But my monster is my self,
I'm my own worst enemy.
He keeps me shackled up,
so the world can't see true me.
I guess it's fine though,
I've become an introvert of late...
I still like an adventure,
but it's usually on my plate.
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 8:18 PM UTC
The kids they just keep coming
and knocking on my door
expecting tons of candy
then a bellyache I'm sure!
The Mummy, Count Dracula, Frankenstein too
Cruella and Yoda and Sweet Scooby doo
I love all their costumes, there's been no sight finer
'cause I used to trick or treat in a bin liner!
Oct 31, 2014
Oct 31, 2014 at 3:43 PM UTC
I've spent too many hours trying tower my accomplishments
I stole this art, replaced my heart with everything that's opposite
reverse the hearse, this inner peace is quite a compliant
my yin and yang are but centerpieces upon a ledge
if they fall off, these elements will simply crush a head
solar optimist, a bi-polar writer with floppy-disk
decoded so you can't comprehend
no counter weight for this heavyweight of a mentalist
as I pick up the pen you can see that a flame was lit
since this is my movie, let's keep it groovy and toss the script
I can't wait to show the world what the **** monumental is!
this flow is brilliant to extravagant
I guess what I'm feeling is happiness?
no resilience happening?
Still, don't know who my pappy is
happy pieces of laughy taffy
enough motion from the potion
will have a girl callin me pappy quick
I stay railing like locomotives
the motive is, I'm to motived and focus with all this poetry
unleash my inner locust, then leap on to new pageantry
I'm well adapted like strangers blending into scenes
I gave her the wood in return we nurtured a tree
its double sided girl this **** isn't ever free
If you don't like the price
there's the door you can leave
but look
I know I don't have a car
but soon I will buy a Toyota
pick you up so you can sleepover
I have a super cobra that shots like a super soaker
whenever you're doing yoga
Hulu view for the two,
Youtube view interlude
Netflix an Chill for the mood
Tv on dimmest setting
an inner room lit like the moon
smoking **** watching views
give me snack like I'm scooby do
I just want to lay with you
I picked you out of the many few
from the ocean of this social media stew
girl, what would you like me to do?
November 22, 2016 / Tuesday 1:37 PM
Nov 22, 2016
Nov 22, 2016 at 1:38 PM UTC
The 3 am twilight blues his sandpaper skin
A beast-like hue
she feels down
So he lifts her spirits
By the neck
Like a Heineken
“DO NOT call the cops”
His words sharp objects
He speaks machete fluently
I freeze
He ice skates on my childhood
Blades figure eights on my frosty irises
His face switches from blue to red
Like 3D glasses
I think of alps in the summertime
Defrosted mountains unveiled
Scooby-Doo villains
The much-awaited unmasking
One time he shoves her
And murders a generation
Her run-ons have become clauses
Short.
Incomplete.
Terminated.
I smell miscarriage on her breath
Now her voice carries
What her stomach cannot
Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013 at 4:37 PM UTC