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"neatness" poems
It was the twilight of the iguana. From the rainbow-arch of the battlements, his long tongue like a lance sank down in the green leaves, and a swarm of ants, monks with feet chanting, crawled off into the jungle, the guanaco, thin as oxygen in the wide peaks of cloud, went along, wearing his shoes of gold, while the llama opened his honest eyes on the breakable neatness of a world full of dew. The monkeys braided a ****** thread that went on and on along the shores of dawn, demolishing walls of pollen and startling the butterflies of Muzo into flying violets. It was the night of the alligators, the pure night, crawling with snouts emrging from ooze, and out the sleepy marshes the confused noise of scaly plates returned to the ground where they began. The jaguar brushed the leaves with a luminous absence, the puma runs through the branches like a forest fire, while the jungle's drunken eyes burn from inside him. The badgers scratch the river's feet, scenting the nest whost throbbing delicacy they attack with red teeth. And deep in the huge waters the enormous anaconda lies like the circle around the earth, covered with ceremonies of mud, devouring, religious.
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Some beasts
I cry, I frown, I aggravate, I shout She laughs, she smiles, she simplifies and rejoices aloud She is totally different from me Se lives in me but is always free When I frighten, she enlighten with every step she brighten she is a child in me full of glee when I become quiet in sadness she does all work in quite Madness what I deceive, is her believe This bond is what makes us unique We take different trains from the same station My every work is a subject to her allegation our roads don't match, but our destinations do I don't know why her clumsiness is better than my neatness to We both are one unit I am a misfit, she is a nit wit But, I lack the charisma she has yet I am learning the way she act as So what, we take different paths we reach the same parks Hurry up, I need to end this poem to stop her playing from a toy lion...
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Jan 13, 2021
Jan 13, 2021 at 1:55 AM UTC
THE CHILD IN ME
wind like a south wind carrying a plane south deposits him, beneficiary of a backwards current on a branch with nothing companionable in sight - no answer, no voice to answer, no voice, no alarm, no succor - just an afternoon and nothing pressing. No urgent business, maybe only the rigors of trying to prevent there being urgent business later. He's not all smooth. A little feather cowlicked on his narrow jaw, and I don't know how he bathes, what he eats, what he wants, who would want to eat him. I don't really understand anything that is going on around me. But look, I understand more than him:   the tree is dying. Oak wilt blew in from Canada, took a long time coming and finally cracked the veins and this one is all bad on the inside, a meal of corked-up flesh, big spongy patches and tainted roots at the search. (Amateur diagnosis. The tree is probably fine.) There is a similarity neither tree nor bird know about. Or his legs know it, and that message is stuck somewhere. Or he's afraid. The blighted oak is all fungus and refusal, and he: his skeleton is spun from delicate copper. If you open him up, he's like a penny - pretty, and useless in this economy. People and things always trying to get rid of him, and he's listening because he knows it, and he's singing because he knows it. Open the tree up and the whole food chain comes down with it. (Listen to your sweet flesh that wants to go on living.) It's not a curse, not specifically: just one fragile thing standing on another but - count mercies - too light to break it. A basic brazier licking behind a splash of yellow, he chirrups. His song comes from the throat. His song is about something he saw once. His song is unquestioned, muscle moving without will.   His plumage is mostly air   And the tree is anchored in the ground   by the very thing that chokes it, and we're all standing together: me, tree, bird. At least until I finish my sandwich, packing the greasy paper in a rectangle, with unquestioned neatness, and leave whistling.
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Aug 23, 2018
Aug 23, 2018 at 2:01 PM UTC
Birdness
wind like a south wind carrying a plane south deposits him, beneficiary of a backwards current on a branch with nothing companionable in sight - no answer, no voice to answer, no voice, no alarm, no succor - just an afternoon and nothing pressing. No urgent business, maybe only the rigors of trying to prevent there being urgent business later. He's not all smooth. A little feather cowlicked on his narrow jaw, and I don't know how he bathes, what he eats, what he wants, who would want to eat him. I don't really understand anything that is going on around me. But look, I understand more than him:   the tree is dying. Oak wilt blew in from Canada, took a long time coming and finally cracked the veins and this one is all bad on the inside, a meal of corked-up flesh, big spongy patches and tainted roots at the search. (Amateur diagnosis. The tree is probably fine.) There is a similarity neither tree nor bird know about. Or his legs know it, and that message is stuck somewhere. Or he's afraid. The blighted oak is all fungus and refusal, and he: his skeleton is spun from delicate copper. If you open him up, he's like a penny - pretty, and useless in this economy. People and things always trying to get rid of him, and he's listening because he knows it, and he's singing because he knows it. Open the tree up and the whole food chain comes down with it. (Listen to your sweet flesh that wants to go on living.) It's not a curse, not specifically: just one fragile thing standing on another but - count mercies - too light to break it. A basic brazier licking behind a splash of yellow, he chirrups. His song comes from the throat. His song is about something he saw once. His song is unquestioned, muscle moving without will.   His plumage is mostly air   And the tree is anchored in the ground   by the very thing that chokes it, and we're all standing together: me, tree, bird. At least until I finish my sandwich, packing the greasy paper in a rectangle, with unquestioned neatness, and leave whistling.
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Our consciousness is often conjured in the noggin the way pompously-starved college kids microwave Ramen: phenomen- ally over-heated and eaten up unbelievably quick, wow, you’re a genius, now you can hurry back to completing your awesome thesis! Neatness! But having burned your tongue, you vilely cursed inside with words rougher than *** not knowing where they were from, and flustered, said you were done; plus, **** it, this work is dumb. Oh, freshman, if only you had savored dem noodles!
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Mar 30, 2012
Mar 30, 2012 at 3:21 AM UTC
A Ramen Noggin
Quis multa gracilis te puer in Rosa Rendred almost word for word without Rhyme according to the Latin Measure, as near as the Language permit. What slender Youth bedew’d with liquid odours Courts thee on Roses in some pleasant Cave, Pyrrha for whom bind’st thou In wreaths thy golden Hair, Plain in thy neatness; O how oft shall he On Faith and changed Gods complain: and Seas Rough with black winds and storms Unwonted shall admire: Who now enjoyes thee credulous, all Gold, Who alwayes vacant, alwayes amiable Hopes thee; of flattering gales Unmindfull. Hapless they To whom thou untry’d seem’st fair. Me in my vow’d Picture the sacred wall declares t’ have hung My dank and dropping weeds To the stern God of Sea.
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The Fifth Ode Of Horace. Lib. I
the road traveled is often enough written in the eyes just as the pattern of a leaf may tell the tree but it will not lay bare to you what dwells at its root what you see in another persons eye is only a reflection and only you know what lay at the root of that her fashionable neatness suffers at the hand of hurried time but she will not bend in her method i cannot see into her thoughts blinded by my own instincts to follow to meet my woman's desire just wanting my lover to be happy we wrestle the sheets in the hot night with the other woman joining us again the three of us exploring eachother in hungry wet embrace seeking the moments when the hot rush of pleasure leaves you soaked with passions sweat and waiting for the begin again of the sweet play of caress and suckle it is this third woman whos dark eye i draw you to for she is well known to me we have shared a bed before she is not a bad person but i know what dwells at the root of that a bedroom of appeasing the cravings of a woman's hidden angers
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Dec 25, 2013
Dec 25, 2013 at 5:45 PM UTC
bedroom of appeasement
All time bird can be crow only ever Black in colour scavenging all day long Caring nothing about neatness or anything! Dogs eat the bones they throw clearing flesh Efficiently bringing by hovering everywhere! Full meals or bits of meats they share with all Going by the policy of united we stand ever! How healthy and active the crows are ever I see standing on the balcony of my building! Jack of all trade these guys do hard work long Keeping their noise heard all round the place! Loitering round us they pester us to give food Many a time when we come out to see the sky! Nothing we can do but offer some leftover foods Obviously irritated to avoid their bickerings! Popular among birds like mynah, sparrow, eagle Quixotically crows overshadow them by numbers! Regularly they start their chores like we do Surprisingly very early in the morning itself! Tickling nook and corner of all materials all day United they raid everywhere sans rest ever! Verily they are indeed hard toiling creatures Whether it is summer or winter in the whole year! Xerox copy of black crows reminds of uniform dress Year after year without change or colour fade ever; Zealous lot these creatures indeed we have to imbibe!
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Feb 9, 2012
Feb 9, 2012 at 3:17 AM UTC
A Zealous Lot Crows Are!
lovers are red oceans are blue i love the waters and they love me too the neatness of fire the warmth of the you the simple equations i work out for you the angel numeric may fit in my stride this kid in your presence is hopscotching wide this naif out of training has nothing to do but write little sillies that may be for you
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Sep 29, 2010
Sep 29, 2010 at 2:47 PM UTC
a little silly
A plain woman in a checkered dress Trapped on a windy hill With a man whose every thought Was crops and cows and bad weather coming, You cooked every meal on time, Served lunches exactly at 12:00 When the hands aligned. You drove "flagger," moving trucks and tractors From field to field, Raised two boys and two girls To be God-fearing citizens, Buried one in shock and disbelief; And then moved on. I know your secret. There on that swept-neat farmstead, Under the green roofs, Beside the red barn, In your white walls, The rational order, The unnatural neatness Belied you. Lydia... You of the Romantic Heart, You of the secret desire and passion. Beside your chair in that sparse house Stood a stack of romance novels In easy reach, An escape from harsh reality. What guilty ecstasies you managed to steal Came five miles from the post office, Ninety-five cents a copy, Wrapped in brown paper, Tucked in a galvanized milk pail. Ahhh. The stolen moments! The bliss of passions and handsome strangers Ready to take you from dry and wind-blown land.
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Feb 12, 2012
Feb 12, 2012 at 6:35 PM UTC
Romance in Unlikely Places
Narcotic Overdose Vicious Extremity Mastered Bewildered Eccentric Retrospective My Birth My Autumn My Death Number Nine Novembers Night Never Nepotism Nocturnal Neatness No Negligence Neptune's Near My Fall My Existence My Anatomy My Reincarnation
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Dec 20, 2014
Dec 20, 2014 at 10:38 PM UTC
Friday 13
it's the clavicles her the inching of the (her)the vulnerable teasing the at the edges pink the trimmed in neatness the amble of girlness palish ******* just and softer coiling hushed by an inch of boyness) she(the)her(the) by the way sir(the) i 'er the gonna perce ya a radiant by the folding o' yer faultless gleaming (spear to plunge) your heart and ***** a rill to let of crimson mangé
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Jul 31, 2013
Jul 31, 2013 at 1:51 PM UTC
Untitled
In a Bluebird toffee tin Are a hundred letters – Most of them doodle-stamped and Delivered by hand. Unlike the letters I sent to you They do not smell of spritzed cologne, (A trick that I learned from Grease) They are not messy Or tea stained, But perfect powder blue And allowing for small extravagances – The Cursive of the Obsessive, Cursed by neatness and perfect hearts. I pick one out at random, A casually cruel one sent from Rome – I imagine you blinking on a balcony With dazzles on your collarbone, A teeny tiny sugarless coffee At your side, And a pen tapping your knee. *“I’m not a **** at all –“* you wrote, *"It’s only that you are gregarious In the most DISGUSTING way. That’s your problem not mine - Your optimism won’t catch you. (Cynicism won’t catch you either, But it has the courtesy not to throw you.) I’m stopping now, By the time you get this I’ll be back home. What pointlessness we endure for one other. I miss you, as you say, ‘ever so’ – Bedtime here is a source of misery.”* And then you signed your name, Tiny, Small, Impossibly graceful, Just like yourself. You were always nasty When you missed me.
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Apr 13, 2015
Apr 13, 2015 at 7:19 PM UTC
bluebird
slips from nothing hugely poem of light creating light by leggy moon over whole earth palely tousled in maimed and drizzled in silver curving a point is risen amongst (man) and time earth away sprawl echoes of finite sleep.but though it moon over(in a little naked comely heap of pert and blazing tinder calmly foisted between sabled ******* of aching stupid darkness)burns how and fiercely eloquent o moon though small and nothing hugely poem shall i (man) a poem slip by mortal wiggling fumbles; and O moon!quiet sleeping curves away silverly(into pimpled quavering neatness)i muscle leanly dispute the soil and up to you gallop sloppy gallons of kiss (for you are most pleasant.UR round and fit nearly in my lips (who shall pluck you from between ******* and fill me burning )Lust
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Oct 2, 2012
Oct 2, 2012 at 3:09 AM UTC
Untitled
Fluorescent uplit lights Throws no shadows Shows no life No vestiges therein Monitors' frontward glow Radiates no future, no past Well lit death No matrix destination The rows and cubes behold A conformed neatness An oppression A regime built against creation The soul flutters above Unseen but seeming To hold life The inexorable dullness of life
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Oct 8, 2020
Oct 8, 2020 at 6:51 PM UTC
Modernity
the she raw is beautiful because because short (eyes green ) hair the lips by sing easily with neatness and her mouth is where exactly it might appear obscenely wonderful to push my mouth which i also like would my own to raw she become into a singe of crisp love together as like a sprig in Spring blossoms such uncaving of coloures but sharp too as a rose might wear the coloures are for parting of skin between rib and breast where a heart lies wanting to fold folding of want of raw she who beautiful because is
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May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 2:30 AM UTC
Untitled
In a Bluebird toffee tin Are a hundred letters – Most of them doodle-stamped and Delivered by hand. Unlike the letters I sent to you They do not smell of spritzed cologne, (A trick that I learned from Grease) They are not messy Or tea stained, But perfect powder blue And allowing for small extravagances – The Cursive of the Obsessive, Cursed by neatness and perfect hearts. I pick one out at random, A casually cruel one sent from Rome – I imagine you blinking on a balcony With dazzles on your collarbone, A teeny tiny sugarless coffee At your side, And a pen tapping your knee. *“I’m not a **** at all –“* you wrote, *It’s only that you are gregarious In the most DISGUSTING way. That’s your problem not mine - Your optimism won’t catch you. Cynicism won’t catch you either, But it has the courtesy not to throw you. I’m stopping now, By the time you get this I’ll be back home. What pointlessness we endure for one other. I miss you, as you say, ‘ever so’ – Bedtime here is a source of misery.”* And then you signed your name, Tiny, Small, Impossibly graceful, Just like yourself. You were always nasty When you missed me.
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Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 7:13 PM UTC
letter
Esteem of reflection billowing up whenever one puff fades. Day in, day out. Pass in, pass out. Staring off into space, am I getting better at geometry? Looking into the line of nowhere. Physical lines may just happen to converge with this. Darkness may happen to eclipse it. A point happens to be on it. A light happens to shine therein. Lines may also conflict with it. Colors may not align with it. Conglomerations may exist there without any congruence. People happen upon it. Muscles and nerve endings traverse it. Needs cross its consciousness. Predictions cross over it too. Some ideas are superseded here. The esteem of reflection scans all areas: physical, emotional, and mental. The internal image is destroyed, or ground to dust. Sounds are implanted upon it. An imaginary self-concept is manifested on it. The cycle of new crossings re-circulates. Like this whole poem only affected my knowledge and not reality. I sit up. My body is placed on this line. Like it is on stage acting for this line. Cleanliness and neatness cross it. The esteem of reflection takes on the form of part of my body. I lay back down. The self-concept reiterates itself. As if my body's forms must assert themselves. Afraid to look at bold symbols. Afraid to act like I touch the things in this room. A sense of shared humanity is spit out by my head. I am the weak and selfish one. Not esteeming another. Only esteeming me and my reflection. Not sharing a room. Like I'm pulling down and in. With my head in the sand. I consider knowledge that isn't directly observed as secondary. And I don't mean observed in a book. This self-concept becomes the center which organizes the things that cross the line of nowhere. It is the best comparison to my physical self, yet a figment of my imagination. It is shaped more by attention than by materiality. It's funny how anointing is at once a rising over and a descending. Yet it cannot fully transform my mind. For even this blessing crosses the line of nowhere. And the esteem of reflection rises above it. But when the line of nowhere becomes the self-concept then the mind is fully transformed. The esteem of reflection would have equality with the self-concept.
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Jan 30, 2021
Jan 30, 2021 at 1:49 AM UTC
Esteem of reflection and the line of nowhere
Esteem of reflection billowing up whenever one puff fades. Day in, day out. Pass in, pass out. Staring off into space, am I getting better at geometry? Looking into the line of nowhere. Physical lines may just happen to converge with this. Darkness may happen to eclipse it. A point happens to be on it. A light happens to shine therein. Lines may also conflict with it. Colors may not align with it. Conglomerations may exist there without any congruence. People happen upon it. Muscles and nerve endings traverse it. Needs cross its consciousness. Predictions cross over it too. Some ideas are superseded here. The esteem of reflection scans all areas: physical, emotional, and mental. The internal image is destroyed, or ground to dust. Sounds are implanted upon it. An imaginary self-concept is manifested on it. The cycle of new crossings re-circulates. Like this whole poem only affected my knowledge and not reality. I sit up. My body is placed on this line. Like it is on stage acting for this line. Cleanliness and neatness cross it. The esteem of reflection takes on the form of part of my body. I lay back down. The self-concept reiterates itself. As if my body's forms must assert themselves. Afraid to look at bold symbols. Afraid to act like I touch the things in this room. A sense of shared humanity is spit out by my head. I am the weak and selfish one. Not esteeming another. Only esteeming me and my reflection. Not sharing a room. Like I'm pulling down and in. With my head in the sand. I consider knowledge that isn't directly observed as secondary. And I don't mean observed in a book. This self-concept becomes the center which organizes the things that cross the line of nowhere. It is the best comparison to my physical self, yet a figment of my imagination. It is shaped more by attention than by materiality. It's funny how anointing is at once a rising over and a descending. Yet it cannot fully transform my mind. For even this blessing crosses the line of nowhere. And the esteem of reflection rises above it. But when the line of nowhere becomes the self-concept then the mind is fully transformed. The esteem of reflection would have equality with the self-concept.
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51
Agile she flutters through the winds and leaves Neatness forgone as she fly’s to a gateway of semi perfection. I see you with soul shut, mind open, spinning in a circle. Just as you are. The sun sinks, rays outstretched.   Sky envy’s the swiftness of her hair, water craves the flow of her fingers       Only the dirt is content with the dance of her feet. This way and that. The wind plays with her in symphony of joy. All of nature pulsing with the simple pleasure of her presence. This is all I am allowed to take from her. Then she smiles. I sit under the shelter of a tree, the shadow protects me from the shrapnel of her beauty. As it bounces off the timeless leaves of grass. Mistress of the colors that you command so effortlessly. Never slowing down. Sparks that would be jagged, now glide peaceful from your eyes. No longer colliding with the earth, fearing that they will never see you again. Bright blue globes absorbing her surroundings with delight. Even as I see her. Then the moment is over.
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Mar 7, 2013
Mar 7, 2013 at 11:47 PM UTC
I See You
Comfort is in what you've got, take what comfort you've excelled a lot! Stay close to me, so close to me, Dance with me, then chance with me, Sacred to my heart. A meteor struck the very start, If its difficult for you then please say no. Take solace and let it grow, take light of all situation flows, Stay close to me, so close to me, Talk with me, so talk to me, A second thunder of an attack. As the lightning struck my very back. If its difficult for you then please say no. What's the story baby? Where's that sun shone diagram? For hours, a second lately, Sleep then wake its just began. Too many other stories, Too many outcomes one Has it for reeled me baby?, sender out and comfort one. Oh she says, And she prays, Oh she comes like the ocean, Just are you in it for the long run? Take comfort in what you got, its comfort is that what you for got. Stay close with me if not with me, A breath in and all its neatness, Fiction or Fact, The ending hasn't lacked. If its difficult for you then please say no. O'Reily@03072014
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Jul 3, 2014
Jul 3, 2014 at 11:30 AM UTC
Comfort
say wide thy heart (i shall enter it the sea) i shall, by armies of lips, forge into its miles deepest ruts of burning neatness. i shall, in it, very softly sow 1 seed. (which by shall erupt thy paleset coffin into the carefullest of stars; reeling ). and shall, it by erupting, become the sea (entering it) of me.
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Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 4:26 PM UTC
Untitled
A plain woman in a checkered dress Trapped on a windy hill with a man whose every thought Was crops and cows and bad weather coming, You cooked every meal on time, Served lunches exactly When the hands aligned. At the stroke of noon. You drove "flagger," Moving trucks and tractors From field to field, Raised two boys and two girls... Buried one in shock and disbelief; And then moved on. I know your secret. On that swept-neat farmstead Under the green roofs Beside the red barn In your white walls, The rational order, The unnatural neatness Belied you. Lydia, Woman of the Romantic Heart, You of the secret desire and passion... Beside your chair in that sparse house Stood a stack of novels, Romance in easy reach, An escape from harsh reality. Ahhh. The stolen moments! The bliss of passion! Handsome strangers ready To rescue you from wind-blown land. What guilty ecstasies you stole Came five miles from the post office, Ninety-five cents a copy, Wrapped in brown paper, Tucked in a galvanized milk pail.
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Apr 27, 2015
Apr 27, 2015 at 3:41 PM UTC
Romance in Unlikely Places
Let us put a few pages between us Unread, unsaid, unshed Unsoiled if it could be said Likened as if they would stay Empty as the newborn day Unruffled as a Sunday afternoon Too many flavors have spoiled the cook Shape-shifting constituents of exactitude Aplomb with certitude Straight as an arrow Smooth as certainty Singular as perfect pursuit Agaze are you, blue hue Cobalt true and blue Cerulean sometimes soft and clouding Metallic pallet surrounding Hard as steel, Warm as a cold day in May Where analysis paralysis Has you curious Doubting and dubious Calculous and carefulness Left you immaculately scandleless Does it sometimes get so lonely Between the devil and the deep blue sea Have you ever not looked before you leap Do you ever gurgle goo goo’s Before you go go Running in place Going nowhere Never too close Never too base Was it ever not intentional Wrought by incompleteness Messy this neatness Red hot chili sweetness Intense with meetness Hurt and heat compete Will you ever admit defeat This can’t go on I’m ending it here now This is the end My pretend friend I tore up the recipe I’m going to make you over again A pinch of friendly less pretense A dash of vulnerabilities Stir to understanding consistency Deep well cooker piquancy Boil until bubbles break Give and take Friend Skewer to hold shape Then lift with a circular motion More kneading Less bias Low and slow Until tender More me Less you This I can do And so can you I’ve made you anew
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Feb 17, 2019
Feb 17, 2019 at 11:24 AM UTC
My Pretend Friend
Let us put a few pages between us Unread, unsaid, unshed Unsoiled if it could be said Likened as if they would stay Empty as the newborn day Unruffled as a Sunday afternoon Too many flavors have spoiled the cook Shape-shifting constituents of exactitude Aplomb with certitude Straight as an arrow Smooth as certainty Singular as perfect pursuit Agaze are you, blue hue Cobalt true and blue Cerulean sometimes soft and clouding Metallic pallet surrounding Hard as steel, Warm as a cold day in May Where analysis paralysis Has you curious Doubting and dubious Calculous and carefulness Left you immaculately scandleless Does it sometimes get so lonely Between the devil and the deep blue sea Have you ever not looked before you leap Do you ever gurgle goo goo’s Before you go go Running in place Going nowhere Never too close Never too base Was it ever not intentional Wrought by incompleteness Messy this neatness Red hot chili sweetness Intense with meetness Hurt and heat compete Will you ever admit defeat This can’t go on I’m ending it here now This is the end My pretend friend I tore up the recipe I’m going to make you over again A pinch of friendly less pretense A dash of vulnerabilities Stir to understanding consistency Deep well cooker piquancy Boil until bubbles break Give and take Friend Skewer to hold shape Then lift with a circular motion More kneading Less bias Low and slow Until tender More me Less you This I can do And so can you I’ve made you anew
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64
Small Morning Poem How many times have we heard "I understand you completely" And repeat exactly what you just said! There are some that say that conditionally Or ender conditions I want to know how many times is the truth said Around places of peace I wonder how many times is the preaching, being done I admit it, I don't always do what I preach Or preach what I do. God is working on changing that But it is time for US to stop the concept of Religion Its just like a long list of chores What we live is life though God's words Through the bible and Jesus called religious people "hoers" All the do is make a façade of neatness dressing up the outside making it look nice "I understand you completely" Only say it if you mean it Only try it if its real God understood and died for me Ill understand and Live for him Im not strong, but you have my hand and my shoulder to cry on If God gives me the opportunity to hear your story Ill listen, but I wont pretend to know how you feel Ill tell you that im here And that I am real Don't tell God you have a big problem Tell your problem you have a Big God!!!! Those who have ears to hear, let him hear! (In the Words of Jesus Christ!!) We are forgiven!!!!
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Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 7:48 AM UTC
Morning poem
It's odd to think of how much time I spend working out a mental fallacy or problem in my head or on paper and then it's just gone. It's like a rhetorical analysis and my life is a story. Today i was struggling a tad about spending this weekend at my boyfriend's and him not spending too much time with me. But immediately afterward, I summed that yes, he's happy to see me, but I was the one who asked to visit and he already had plans of things to do. So Though he appreciated my company, he has others things to do and enjoy as well. This is not OUR weekend or holiday. I am just participating in it. It was like this welling emotion of hurt suddenly was alleviated, knowing that it was not about shirking me; it was about getting things he had already endeavored to do done. Thinking gets me to many better places than places I previously was before. I solve a lot of my own problems staring at a screen and typing them out, or just staring and thinking in general. It gets me through issues that don't need to be issues. Its just my chemical imbalances ramping up small emotions that need not be catastrophic, but can sometimes turn to be. Similarly, I've solved why I'm an extrovert writer. My only friends were people in stories, and though I adore human energy and potential, real human beings do not compare to the neatness and logic of story characters. They can both feel as real, but real people can change on a dime, or be growthless, or waste their time and learn nothing. In a story we'd call that unrealistic. So I'm content being around people, feeding off their glorious energy, but also fine not being too interactive at all times. I can hear voices in movies, I can meet people in stories. I can suffice on the people between pages, and also the people out of pages who feel strong and real and connective to me. Thinking and reflecting is one of my strongest traits. Telling my therapist about this trait was one of the first times I realized my possible brilliance. I told her I reflect and work out problems with myself, as it was the only way I figured out how to live when things were worst, and she was stunned. She says that trait, one used to often, can sometimes be attributed to genius. Understandably, I was also stunned. Reflecting on reflecting even feels rejuvenating. I am so proud of this skill, the skill that kept me alive and now is helping me learn to be self-sufficient. The growth is exponential. The usability is astounding. I feel so lucky to be able to have it.
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Nov 26, 2016
Nov 26, 2016 at 3:20 PM UTC
Reflection on Reflecting
It's odd to think of how much time I spend working out a mental fallacy or problem in my head or on paper and then it's just gone. It's like a rhetorical analysis and my life is a story. Today i was struggling a tad about spending this weekend at my boyfriend's and him not spending too much time with me. But immediately afterward, I summed that yes, he's happy to see me, but I was the one who asked to visit and he already had plans of things to do. So Though he appreciated my company, he has others things to do and enjoy as well. This is not OUR weekend or holiday. I am just participating in it. It was like this welling emotion of hurt suddenly was alleviated, knowing that it was not about shirking me; it was about getting things he had already endeavored to do done. Thinking gets me to many better places than places I previously was before. I solve a lot of my own problems staring at a screen and typing them out, or just staring and thinking in general. It gets me through issues that don't need to be issues. Its just my chemical imbalances ramping up small emotions that need not be catastrophic, but can sometimes turn to be. Similarly, I've solved why I'm an extrovert writer. My only friends were people in stories, and though I adore human energy and potential, real human beings do not compare to the neatness and logic of story characters. They can both feel as real, but real people can change on a dime, or be growthless, or waste their time and learn nothing. In a story we'd call that unrealistic. So I'm content being around people, feeding off their glorious energy, but also fine not being too interactive at all times. I can hear voices in movies, I can meet people in stories. I can suffice on the people between pages, and also the people out of pages who feel strong and real and connective to me. Thinking and reflecting is one of my strongest traits. Telling my therapist about this trait was one of the first times I realized my possible brilliance. I told her I reflect and work out problems with myself, as it was the only way I figured out how to live when things were worst, and she was stunned. She says that trait, one used to often, can sometimes be attributed to genius. Understandably, I was also stunned. Reflecting on reflecting even feels rejuvenating. I am so proud of this skill, the skill that kept me alive and now is helping me learn to be self-sufficient. The growth is exponential. The usability is astounding. I feel so lucky to be able to have it.
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13
An apple a day keeps the doctor away The number thirteen is unlucky, they say But what do they know as they kneel, as they pray? Very little, or so I suspect. To know one does not is to follow a path Down which Socrates travelled through Plato's remarks In a dialogue 'twixt many men playing parts In a drama we cannot reject. The orchid expresses a testicle's tresses He yields to a woman's flosculous caresses Her petals wilt down as the flower undresses With a perfume unbottled, unkempt. The covers they rise and the muscles they twist The lovers meet under a treacherous tryst Yet nothing prepared for the moment they kissed And their eyes met with love heaven-sent. "Loco! Loco!" they bray, wanting neatness to stay Tidied rooms, closing doors as they're lost by the way Through which others have carried us day after day And they're bowing, conforming to norms. For it's hard when you're scarred to not simply be harmed By the things that they show you when you are unarmed By the people you see being not formed but farmed, Staring blankly with evident scorn.
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Jun 23, 2015
Jun 23, 2015 at 11:41 AM UTC
I have three