"letdowns" poems
Sometimes when I see what people have the capability of doing, I wonder if there is anything else besides blood and bones.
Sometimes when I like a boy. He always likes to twitter pate my friends hearts. Sometimes if my friend has no desire, the boys still come crawling, right past me.
This is not just a one time thing. This is a reoccurring event. kind of the like the bickering that goes on at my house during the weekends.
Sometimes it gets sad.
Sometimes when I open my heart and my love flies out like a bird leaving its cage for the first time, something goes wrong. My bird's wings maybe don't work. Maybe there was a killer just waiting to shoot down the newly free creature. Or maybe, my bird just can't handle the pressure and is crippled. Whatever it is like, and it is different in every situation, My heart is become such a raw sore. This is not because of one event. Let me be clear.
This is the build up of heartaches after letdowns and broken wishes.
Sometimes, on chilly nights like these. When I am cuddled up sipping hot coco and eating warm chocolate chip cookies, I just wonder. Why have I let my feelings control me for so long?
Why have I put myself through this? The only solution I can come up with is that all of these times that my feelings are torn apart by these creatures we call MEN, are just preparing me for my infinite love that I will have someday.
Sometimes I smile because I KNOW someday, I will be greatfull for the broken winged heart because I will have never had the chance to meet this future peice of my puzzle.
Oct 25, 2012
Oct 25, 2012 at 1:03 PM UTC
I'm deteriorating,
Slowly fading to black
I'm barely out the gates
Yet I feel like a weather beaten hack
What's the point to life?
With its fake friends, fake smiles and lost dreams
I look around me and my shoulders sag
This is not the stuff of boyhood dreams
What's the point to life?
A ferocious cycle of failure and heartbreak
What's my greatest fear?
Unfulfilled potential and lost stakes
I shouldn't be feeling like this
but at twenty I've got so much hanging on me
Prematurely coming of age
Midwifed by letdowns and rookie mistakes
But they don't know, they cant see
Hazarded guesses is all they can take
At the turmoil and torment
I mask with wide smile and firm handshake
I'm a man, I've got to be strong
Bear the consequences of my past
You don't know and you never will
A jot of the pain I hold fast
The way of my parents seems right
But putting all my eggs in one basket
Is not a smart move I don't think
Christianity my have some answers, but cant crack the whole racket
Jun 13, 2013
Jun 13, 2013 at 10:03 AM UTC
I'm pretty sure all poetry has left me.
As if it just packed up and hit the road.
Like my words no longer dance or sing.
Like they have forgotten all melodies.
Assimilated tone deafness.
Compound letdowns retract vulnerabilities.
Brick walls and leather skin replace possibilities.
Reckless love and whimsical fantasies,
Replaced by ***** diapers and piles of laundry.
Consonants and vowels blend to mush.
Aches and accomplishments are one in the same.
All of my agony has turned to apathy,
And I wonder.
How could I let poetry walk away from me?
How have I become so broken that I can no longer write?
Words have no ability to woe me.
Vocabulary is no longer my saving grace.
Void of creativity.
Like somehow life has gotten too messy for me to express.
Series of catastrophes and celebrations run together.
And I feel lost.
And I feel blessed.
But oh so empty.
Poetry come back to me.
May 25, 2015
May 25, 2015 at 12:57 PM UTC
Praise is near
I can see it out of the corner of my eye
It comes with a new dawn
Nothing is built to last
Empires fall and civilizations crumble
All I can do is wash my hands and hope this fight can be won
Through all the sacrifice
It's been a long time coming
The odds are stacked out of favor
But I will push, fearless and uncompromised
This is what all of the writings in the bathroom stalls were philosophizing
It's endured the pain that every soul out there has known
You can feel it as your heart pounds
It lives in the things we can't let go of that we use to fuel our fury
It sleeps in our memories and cringe worthy heartbreaks
You live and learn
From the beginning of time with human kind in the womb
To the end of all being whispering its final words
It guides the ones who refuse to follow the predetermined paths
The ones who never had a chance
It's in all of us, believe it to keep it alive
Never give up in the face of doubt or ignorance
You've made it this far, you've become stronger
Revisit the time when you were knocked down
Forgive all the letdowns and never forget your promise to yourself
That you'll establish your name with every ounce of strength
Strike up the flame that kills every shadow
That glows with unconditional love
That one that creates the passion for life
Feb 4, 2016
Feb 4, 2016 at 2:02 PM UTC
I put a baby inside
Of the belly of my Bonney lass bride
Twice
Say the ****** covered by placenta
Looking through her *** to deaths eye
She may live he may die
He may live I'll lose my wife
Through the cream pie I stare down death
Between her ***** holds hemorrhage and life
Bleeding down her c-section
The acreted blood sac could cause infection
Already has
My baby gave multiple blood poisoned hits to her kidney
He's already a fighter I think he'll beat me up. He's going to come out with bigger boots than mine, prolly a bigger ****
Hope they both make it.
I can't fix it
My hands are tied in the cervical opening, my minds wrapped in the emboli cal cord, and my fingers are twiddling thumbs nauseously in Beccas ******
I should take Lornhes place in the amniotic fluid and gag myself in the fetal position
Or I could do what no one does these days.
Be a man of character.
Show him passion, knowledge, courage, and integrity.
Be a Father.
P.S. Son. All dads are letdowns, when you read this one day. I hope I have done my best. I Love You.
Lendon Partain
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 8:34 PM UTC
I have bled and
I have learned
Dark knowledge,
poignant truth —
everything made of
flaw, and dead ends
have justified the
purity in a sin
Wilted gardens,
sleepless eyes
(you are all so beautiful to me)
Aug 22, 2012
Aug 22, 2012 at 9:58 PM UTC
Cast your soulless stares upon the living dead. Your empty actions based on mindless beliefs are so much more politically correct than the ones driven by a bitter solid truth. Your mind numbing drugs are better than ours because you're spoon fed from a prescription platter... Your walk of life is one to strive for? Funny, because we know what it means when euphoria embodies our soul. You're shackled by your monetary hierarchy, flashing trinkets to salute your worth. We understand how worthless we really all are, and laugh in the face of your naivety.
The blind won't teach the deaf to hear.
Our lesson's still misunderstood.
Your hollow visions fall on sewn shut ears.
We're only living the life you wish you could.
Your every effort is to live forever, and you never quite know why. You fear your own mortality, but we've boldly battled for every breath - and never missed a step. Your optimism is your pitiful crutch that snaps with each new day. Our letdowns now are few and far between, because we bask in realistic delusions. You run your home like a castle from your throne, better than all those below you. Yet, when the structure crumbles, it's funny how you're just like us. We see how worthless we really all are, and laugh in the face of the blind.
Jun 12, 2013
Jun 12, 2013 at 11:21 PM UTC
All these missed opportunities to work at the coolest places,
All these missed chances to hang out with the nicest faces,
All these redundant choppy negative records playing in my head spaces,
Because of my letdowns,
I'm always stuck in between two places,
To stay or To go, to say yes or to say no, to hide or to show,
Which place to go?
Jun 1, 2013
Jun 1, 2013 at 2:52 PM UTC
I need a win
Any small victory
Amidst these losses
Continual letdowns
Consecutive defeats
Constant calamities
When will it end?
I dress in armor,
But it does no good
For every time I attempt
To repair one impairment
A gust of misfortune
Knocks yet another
Piece out of place
Is it too much to ask
To find myself among laurels
Just for a moment?
Apr 16, 2013
Apr 16, 2013 at 3:16 PM UTC
Tell me your darkest secrets;
I promise that I will keep
Whisper me all your unspoken words;
Let me break the silence where your heart silently weep
Surrender me a smile just to know that you're okay;
Even if it means the last time of faking, I am here to stay
Let me into your world, painting colors to your void memories;
And never again feel misery, lets turn your mind into a sanctuary
Deeply breathing together we held hands purifying our soul;
A prayer, we meditate disposing negativity.. A bad aura to let go
A moment of silence, shaking the person once we was;
Let them all troubles crumble, pulverizing sorrow to dust
Expanded consciousness makes us grow stronger and push further;
The path to serenity, a peace of mind where all the letdowns will never be remembered
Yet...Yes it's a scar that always remain, a part of growth and a sign of divine intervention;
We may take wounds but will never fall...Between rise and fall there is always a contradiction
So fall forward to a better man;
Don't give up as much as you can
The least you worries, the least you grow;
What I mean was do something about instead it just undermine the sorrow...
Feb 3, 2014
Feb 3, 2014 at 2:13 AM UTC
When you begin to wonder
wonder what it all means
that's when it'll get you down
you can't scratch the surface
of purpose
You stumble in the darkness
fumble for the nearest light switch
or anything
a table leg, a television stand
a tigers paw
anything to remind you
that something is there
flesh it out
dry as a bone or
drunk
Life was
and is
a series of letdowns
false starts, faulty brakes
expired milk, premature ***********
flat tires, flat chests, flat soda
the world was flat
for awhile
As soon as you stop and think
about Sun, Moon, and Stars
that's when you realize
you're a matchhead
in forest fire
a drop of **** in the vastness of the ocean
nothing more, nothing less
nothing?
Maybe that's the point of it all
a dash of cosmic modesty
you never saw the ants complaining
or the flowers weep,
for very long
Just get out of bed
and put your t-shirt on
one leg at a time
Sep 7, 2013
Sep 7, 2013 at 12:57 PM UTC
I had a one night stand with conditional love and that ended in a tragedy.
I've been flirting with romances for quite some time and that left me melancholily hollow.
I got caught on a fling by a romance based on lies and left holes in my brain.
Now I keep my eyes hidden, my ears muffled, and my mouth shut.
From coming in contact with unconditionally love.
I heard she was a sight for sore eyes but I'm afraid to say.
I haven't met her yet.
Jun 27, 2016
Jun 27, 2016 at 1:21 AM UTC
I wish I could expell
This wild beast from my chest,
This bottomless well,
Merciless tempest.
.
It roars and screams
For things it can't get:
Insubstantial dreams,
Uncollected debt.
.
And it isn't fair
That efforts mean naught;
When all is laid bare -
Love can't be bought.
.
I long and I ache,
At the mercy of fate,
Its give and take,
The cruelest bait.
.
The suffocating need
To not be alone,
Unrelenting greed,
Scathing to the bone.
.
It rakes its claws deep
Through my ribcage,
Makes me weep,
Helpless with rage.
.
Its loathsome fury,
Feral with want,
My judge and jury,
Inescapable haunt.
.
And it makes me think
That it's you I'm missing,
But it's really that link,
That has me reminiscing.
.
And I tried with such ardor
To find it once more,
But it's getting harder,
And my soul is sore.
.
Tired of hoping
And letdowns, in vain,
Tired of coping
With this constant pain.
.
If I were not godless
Surely I would pray
To finally convalesce,
To just get away.
.
Apr 16, 2025
Apr 16, 2025 at 3:32 PM UTC
The rocky steps that lead to the sea
Were always a problem to climb
Always one careful step from a chaotic tumble
Into the misty void
And once the journey was made
Cold gray sand greeted me
Like a lonely desert
The horizon seeming father away
By chance id make it
To the edge of a frozen mouth
Already so drained of yellow life
Ready for the pain, the ice
To jolt me awake
To open my eyes to this grey sky
I would wait
Then hear your eerie whispers
Calling through the sea
The waves swelling, you
Would wrap your fingers around my ankles
I would breath out in relief
A fearful alertness, you were here
Your hair in the blue-grey sea foam
Your breath, the piercing wind
That slapped my cheeks
Your salty words, unsatisfying
Plugging my ears
Until all I hear are your letdowns
And fury.
The skies would darken, and
The swell would become greater
Until I open my mouth and scream
That I can’t take your bruises
And I can’t take my own delusions
But you have already started to pour down my lungs
Filling me with your ice and confusion
And I can see
All your doubts
And blackness
And overflowing emptiness
And I almost feel sorry, like I’ve failed you.
And I couldn’t help you
But I remembered,
You drowned me
With yourself.
-Taylor
Aug 9, 2011
Aug 9, 2011 at 3:03 PM UTC
File One...
(The beginning of the end)
You formed a union from naivety and misguided love
Which bore fruit, but had shallow roots at its core
Though youthful exuberance and a lust for devotion
Kept you continuously searching for something more
File Two...
(Too young to know better)
Starting a family with one child, while not planned, was
Enough to halt the search
Leaving room for number two, and before long there were three
Bundles of joy intrinsically bound to your side
Seeking nothing more than loving arms and serenity
File Three...
(Inception without conditions)
Instantaneously, a love was present
Even before my eyes gave sight
Inherent feelings of contentment
Sealed with a silent vow to always make things right
File Four...
(Incidental letdowns)
Promises are great, as long as you keep them
However, all too often, they became lies
Whether soaring aspirations or overwhelmed be the cause,
You cannot hide the defeatedness within adolescent eyes
File Five...
(Cloak of invisibility)
With the passing of life and time, your best of intentions
Always were lost in the fray
Leaving this child alone in the dark
Forever wondering if I got in the way
Aug 27, 2018
Aug 27, 2018 at 3:31 PM UTC
What I feel they may never understand,
it's not like its difficult or hard to comprehend.
But it's what lies behind my every pull,
I've done it so much sometimes I don't even know.
Where'd it all go wrong,
God curse that day.
Little did I know it would take my everything away.
My love, my joy, my truth, my hope,
the day I began you, I blindly signed that oath.
The oath that strangles and tears me apart,
ripping piece by piece, till there's nothing but my heart.
The heart that feels every single thing, no mouth to use,
nothing but sting.
When people look at me, what do they see?
a girl? a friend? a masterpiece?
Knitted together with letdowns and lies,
hiding inside feelings continue to rise.
But my! that masterpiece, look but do not touch!
You can care about the outside,
but isn't that enough?
Well no one likes and undercover mess,
so I just stay right here...
and try to live my 'best'.
Mar 26, 2015
Mar 26, 2015 at 10:36 AM UTC
From the ground is where I came from.
And one day it's where I shall return.
Carbon particals compartmentalize into every flaw.
That has set me up to burn.
Torn and broken picking my cross up.
Out of the mud that we slip in.
Don't let the changes and good deeds fool you.
I'm still a coward behind this structure.
Of broken clay.
But the potter will catch me when I fall.
He will never allow me to break.
I have fallen so many times flat on my face.
So many times I pick myself up to start again.
Where will I find solid ground to stand on.
My feet are calloused from treading the sands.
Of a lifetimes of letdowns and disappointments.
Serving one so true while I've just learned to stand again.
This fresh blood has yet to even dry to my hands.
But you shall lead me to purified waters.
So I can wash away the filth and be clean again.
I don't know where we're going.
But we shall push through the quicksand.
Together hand in hand we'll reach for his.
We are all a flawless diamond.
Beneath the ash and soot of flesh and bones.
The dirt and dust will build up.
And skin shall die and slowly float away.
For death was engraved into out genetics.
But there's no need to fear this.
For he has an oasis up ahead.
And all we need do is lean foward.
Take his hand and jump.
JUMP!!! Take the ultimate leap of FAITH!!!
Wipe the dust from your lips the mud from your face.
The blood off your hands let the dirt fall away
We are all ***** but by his graceful waters.
We are clean we are saved.
Rebirth.
We're just diamonds in the rough falling into place.
Dec 3, 2014
Dec 3, 2014 at 10:14 AM UTC
I met Solomon today.
We met at Ecclesiastes.
And while having lunch with him,
I asked him to tell me how it feels to be dead.
And he said
"Death is a permanent sleep".
I know that already.
"It's all darkness," he further said,
"Darkness, darkness all the way.
Silence, silence forevermore "
That sounds freaky.
"Yes, and even more in this case,
You'll not receive credit alert again".
"???"
"Yes, and even this your big phone-sef,
Some dumb *** will claim it,
and be pressing it anyhow.
No more emails too,
No Facebook nor WhatsApp messages.
No phone calls nor text messages.
And then, those pictures you took while eating
Ice-cream and fooling around at Shoprite and Coldstone,
You won't be able to post them again.
You will not know what comments you got,
Nor what silly emojis were dropped on them.
No one will tell you how fat you look
Nor how much flesh you no longer have,
Your frown will be but nothing to see,
Your smile too will have no meaning.
No birthday parties, and no more hangouts,
No teasing, no laughing, no funning about
No Christmas rice and chicken stew.
No clothes, no makeup, no shàkara.
You won't even hear when your friends laugh
Nor laugh at the cries of your so called foes.
No football match to watch or argue about
No Betnaija, no updates.
Your girlfriend too will find new love.
You'll no longer get her meechà-meechà
No love, no hugs, no kisses too.
No groaning, no moaning, no mènè-mènè
No sunlight nor moonlight play,
No Nepa light nor candle light
Darkness, darkness all the way
Silence, silence forevermore
You won't receive newsletters too,
Nor read newspapers in your grave.
No need for hope from promises made
and no more pain from those letdowns
Like something that never existed,
You'll be gone forevermore.
Gone into the dark,
Dark, dark silence.
So live life more, as much as you can,
Eat well, sleep more, work out, dream.
Cause no trouble, curse no one.
Be your self and have more fun,
Take less work and live just right.
Let good deeds be your footprints"
Feb 1, 2021
Feb 1, 2021 at 2:05 AM UTC
I just dont care if I'm breathing anymore.
I might be alive but my day by days are leaving me tired and sore.
Better off dead.
Seems like every bad thing only happens to me. They say it only gets better but how would they know? My life's been nothing but letdowns and treachery.
I just can't believe how many bad apples and sour seeds your god seems to force feed me
All I've ever wanted was to believe
Apparently there's an all knowing being and he's watching over me.
Apparently he knows best but I'll bet it all on black that he doesn't know anything about me and he'll leave. The outcome isn't easy.
But I'll digest. You don't ******* know me.
Your all just so eager to die. To see that bright white light and life flash before your eyes.
I promise you there's no afterlife.
You think there's a better place but this hell ends and there's no paradise. I'm slowly dying and there's no happy ending in sight.
Apr 2, 2014
Apr 2, 2014 at 9:22 PM UTC
Beginning to think is beginning to be "undermined"
To take the final flight, away from light
Into the dark environs of one’s state of mind
Just a careful analysis of letdowns or mere trickeries of deceiving soul
What sets off the crisis is almost always unverifiable?
An act like this is decreed upon within the silence of the heart.
As if a great work of art.
Sidelining hopes for a better tomorrow,
the man prefers a fatal evasion
Powerless to realize the transcendent,
Incapable of exhuming the depth of experience
The man deify what crushes him,
depriving him forever from the divine existence
Sacrificing his intellect, the believer immerses within darkness
In his failure, the believer finds triumph
Nov 24, 2017
Nov 24, 2017 at 5:36 AM UTC
every time i hit rock bottom
someone digs a little deeper
now these walls are too steep
i’ve not enough grip
slip and slip and slip and slip
pickup and pack up perpetual bags
start the process over
with new characters
and settings
and expectations
but the same feelings
and probably meanings
and letdowns and stained cheeks
should i cut or burn this time?
there’s one thing i control
another:
where shall i take these scissors
to my forehead or my closest ties?
that are holding me together
but all too tight
well
is it weak to wither away
at the hands of something
i can’t see?
my demons are only metaphors
just like those bags and ties
i used to think depression pains
were the same
but they’re as literal as can be
not just tears but pangs
broken hearts bleed faster
and tarnished lungs take shallow breaths
the past took a pocketknife to my skin
carved and scooped me out
and turned my body to a little tease
that won’t give me the real mortal thing
Aug 1, 2019
Aug 1, 2019 at 3:03 PM UTC
Verse 1
Took the wrong bus on a Wednesday
Wore the skirt I swore I hated
Had a blister and a sunburn
And the sky was drained and jaded
Sat by a woman with a bag of peaches
One rolled out and hit my shoe
She laughed like my aunt who died in April
And I almost said, “I miss you too”
Pre-Chorus 1
Joy didn’t knock, just drifted through—
Like a memory dressed in something new.
Chorus 1
I got sunburned in my silence
Skirt too short and pride too loud
Joy just slipped into the backseat
While I cursed at every cloud
I’m not healed, just unbothered
By the mess I’ve started to miss
I flinch at kindness lately
Like it’s something I can’t resist
Verse 2
The driver missed my stop completely
But I didn’t say a word
There’s a silence that feels sacred
When you’re scared of being heard
My phone lit up with nothing
And it still made me smile
I’m the patron saint of letdowns
But I stayed soft for a while
Pre-Chorus 2
Joy didn’t ask if I’d moved on
Just slipped back in like nothing was wrong
Chorus 2
I got sunburned in my silence
Skirt still short and ego bruised
Joy slid in like she owned the place
Like she knew I’d already lost the ruse
I’m not healed, just out of stories
So I smile and call it wise
Now I host my hauntings sweetly
Like the ghosts were always mine
Bridge
I practiced detachment like a prayer
Burned sage, lit candles, grew out my hair
But it still smelled like him in July—
Like sweat, and shame, and cherry pie
I told the moon, “I get it. You only show half,”
Then cried so hard I think I made God laugh
Mascara on my birth certificate
From rewriting who I was
Tried on forgiveness like a costume
But forgot what size I was
I kept rewriting the ending
’Til the story started biting back
Guess healing is just hiding
In a dress you thought you packed
Final Chorus
I got sunburned in my silence
Skirt still short, but now it fits
Joy returns like clockwork chaos
Pulls up laughing, never quits
I wasn’t healed, just hungry
For something I didn’t have to chase
And for once, I didn’t flinch
When the world looked me in the face
Outro
I told the moon, “I get it.”
But I was really talking to myself.
Apr 4, 2025
Apr 4, 2025 at 4:25 AM UTC
In the fickle floccules whimsical of inherent stunted minds
where delusions drive Ferraris' and the gilded are servants
if their hate stop painting pictures of doom rack and ruins
tis known they are just mere inferior mediocre observant
Like moths to flames reeking talentless blow hollow winds
losers no-marks spewing nonsenses under stones like ants
mundane journeymen and maiden oiks alongside philistines
the letdowns in low downs craving distractions with slants
No worthy or good comes from insignificants on the grinds
lacking wit or grace they faff and prattle as modern peasants
their job is hate and in searing jealousy they dribble unrefined
the pitiful community of lesser beings in malice conversance:
Jul 8, 2022
Jul 8, 2022 at 4:43 PM UTC