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Avary Oct 2018
No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

I don’t have the desire to see another end;
after exhaustive months of getting to know
a fictionalised persona, fragmented, so

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

The last one hurt and you didn’t see,
but that doesn’t proclaim the scar less prominent to me,
my feelings numb, I no longer crave the intimacy - detrimental to me.

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

The last boys touch was for him not for me
and my body still screams cause he won’t let it be
and you’ll never understand as the trauma won’t subside
and my self esteem is diminished by his lies.

No, I don’t have a boyfriend.

I humoured a guy who gave it a try
but all I could feel was nothing inside
and when someone bumps into me sauntering by
the unwanted touch still makes me cry.

No, I don't want a boyfriend.
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2016
one - i don't understand why saying "it's the 21st century" is somehow seen as a compensation for 20 centuries of our inhumanity, or a case of: only improvements reside in us - seems just as false to say - men can overcome angels, as stated by the first Christians... yeah, we can do miracles with technology and ultra-secular communication dynamics - discarding the existence of such beings resulted in hen parties with plastic wings and halos... what a great method to discard such being, and subsequently appropriate their features, if ever needed, but altogether unnecessary... two - that disrespecting heterosexuality aligned with the power of science has made it altogether a pointless endeavour in re-enacting the monogamous nature of swans: if we can breed the many perversions, ahem, deviations, we surely require en equal share of respect, before science undermines any deviations into an economic format of breeding pure heterosexual contingencies... three: who the hell said i was throwing anyone off a roof? i was just curious about the slack pressurising the alias big brother / grey matter dictator into teaching us language, then to later make us into a Koranic cyclops or having to sway one side, but not the other, teaching us vocabulary in school, but robbing us of a fluidity of language beyond school, in society... any rational man would say: just teach me the knuckle, the stone and the stick to express my manners... because, to be frank, i'm not into faking being civilised, just teach me to be a barbarian from the start, don't dangle the magic carrot in front of my eyes when it's a fake... teach me the barbarism you want to suppress later on in life: i'm not into being Dolly 2.3419, and an attache to a sheepdog for herding purposes to take it up the **** and shut up: because a member of Parliament did it to me aged 14; for example.

subjectivity is doubled attacked, it's not the merely rationalist
approach of an objective side of things,
i could understand tiresome efforts
Chinese politics while walking
the tourist plot on the great wall -
in a society that's seismically acknowledging
social or whatever coherence,
i find it a bit of limbo of paraphrasing
trans - or trans-physics, or the active
way to usurp metaphysics, by deviating
from thought as an activity, and more
how words are sense datum co-ordinates
that are like dictators: because it just, feels,
funny, and, offensive. ***** vocabulary,
that's what i call it... after a while you concentrate
on what ****** you off, first the educational
autocracy teaches you a vocabulary,
then come the St. Thomas' terrorists with:
you need to revise your vocabulary...
like **** that'll happen, you don't own
language, i don't own language, you're
little fascist agenda to censor such awoke
the boy that was supposed to wake Barbarossa
from his slumber with the cry: crows! crows!
a cloud of crows! funny how the eagle is a
failed emblem for empires, and the crow isn't...
mind you, the English succeeded with
an empire half-and-half: a lion and a unicorn...
i'd guess as much with a monkey and
a centaur, or at least a Cerberus - something
mythical - well, sure, the Poles are attacked
in Britain... but ever hear about the Scot
being attacked in an English village?
a Scot was attacked just the other day,
because kilts were deemed offensive...
so trans-gender is good, meta-gender is:
had a wee t'ink 'bout it...
   robots start with the pronoun use: one...
royalty start with the pronoun use: we...
                 and in between we have paranoid
they and we... and insecure you and i -
or as e. e. cummings would have it:
    *i say no world
                 can hold a you
   shall see the not
             because
  and why but
                          (who
        -
true, but as much of not is entanglement
              with knots - or ought to tries -
  to not or to knot and be -
                              Shakespeare also said:
  funny how i was born neo-liberal,
millennial tattooed - and fake-left...
   i hear the right is a tsunami of focus these days,
all the generation Z are buying into
obstructing gay-marriage, and are adamant
   on not abusing pronouns - hence the current
revival in grammar school education in England -
they don't drink, i.e.: taking psychopathic gambles,
they're prone to social-media overdoses
rather than succumbing to excess ecstasy and palpitation:
i had 190 "friends"... let's just call them vantage points...
   sheered that social media sheep: only 13 left...
but at least objectivity outright says:
       subjectivity is subhuman, science taught us
that subjectivity is the fire between two flint stones,
all in all necessary - but objectivity said:
             two flints! two flints! no fire!
what attacks subjectivity is not objectivity,
it's satire... to humanise everything: good or bad,
with a standard of humour... well... telling a sad
joke to later tell the same sad joke by satirising it...
punch in a face; because there are only so number of
things that are funny in life... the English language
doesn't seem to understand that even the odd chance
of black humour, will not lift the spirits of those,
who, quiet frankly, don't want to be humoured...
the only humour left is not to provision the public
with barbaric satire, sometimes empathy will do,
because it's emphatic humour,
   it's Godot's roundabout humour: the shared experience.
laughing for the sake of laughing is
             a cry from apathy's lost interest in
being pardonably dasein - laughing at all the truthful
autobiographic desecrate is apathy's last
chance to impress: but how foul it all sounds by then...
   the western version of buddhism suddenly feels like
  a taste of pears in november: not sour, not bitter...
just maggoty foul - yucky goo
                  of a plum-shaded rouse of the skin
tinged hue after contact with knuckle and knee.
  but they attacked a ******* Scot in an English village,
because of a kilt...
                                   he knows the strand of ganging up
in hyena numbers and then the celebratory drink
of compensating conscience - they'll sooner accept
     a trans-gender dunno'h than a hot-blooded
heap of tartan - ever ask the homosexuals what
they think of St. Thomas' gospel?
              i think: too much, too early, too innocently.
and if they tell you: speak differently!
they will, i'm ****** sure they will want to
control your grammar without any specialisation -
you'll wonder: summer in Syria?
                     because as racism goes,
they attack the difference, and the difference is only
skin deep, like they did with the Afros of Kentucky,
the Kentucky Afros will spring right back,
    because the abuse was only skin deep,
therefore their soul was enlarged, and they'll
play the blues, and the jazz, and rap, and break-dance...
but if the abuse goes to the depth of soul...
in that it's soul-deep...
                                and because it's white v. white...
it will ferment, and nothing positive will come from it...
no jazz, no blues... nothing of cultural importance...
   it will be haggled in the political market
to the point where both sides will find it utterly
unbearable: and then start to sheer their skins...
        you won't get anything from this soul-deep
attack... if the holocaust is what it felt like,
            then this is a minor post-holocaust episode,
a reminder...
                          and by god, i thank god
for the fact that the Picts are involved -
                                                            whe­re to now?
O Imperium Gladstone paraphrase?
                            it will be hard to beat the unicorn -
all empires donning the eagle duly fail -
centaur and a frog? maybe next time.
Eryri Sep 2018
Your shrill, yet oddly pleasant sound, echoes loudly down the long corridor.
I try to ignore you as the jaunty sound clashes with my melancholy mood,
Yet I find the notes and melodies cling to my mind like tissue stuck to a shoe,
Hanging on for it's own amusement,
Ignorant of my desire not to be teased nor humoured at this anxious time.

I feel I shouldn't like your racket,
My naïve ears and young years sense, not only an inappropriate comedy in your sound,
But also a daunting undertone,
Adding to my sense of having been plunged into deep icy waters.

Perhaps your music soothes those who are leaving,
Your high happy notes providing optimism and assurance of recovery,
Or of a restful sleep enveloping dear ones.
For me, however, at the point of no-return in my pilgrimage,
I hear only the low notes,
Out of time with my quickened pulse,
And lending a foreboding soundtrack to my slow deliberate steps.

But you play for no pay,
Busking in this hospital,
Doing good both night and day.
Yes, you are well known in this place,
Admired for the hours you commit to this space where lives can hang in the balance,
And where your instrument by day is a sharp sleek scalpel,
Invasive in its desire to alleviate suffering,
Your steady, practiced hand rehearsed and well versed in the methodically planned procedure of a surgical concerto.

But out of hours your instrument of choice lends you a voice,
Allowing flourishes and improvisations.
But were you aware that for visitors like me who visited repeatedly,
The clarinet would take on a significance beyond other instruments,
Taking me instantly back to bittersweet memories of visiting my family,
As, in turn, they aged and became unwell and recovered and became unwell again.

Now I am older and a little wiser,
I reflect and ruminate on this period;
My memories of family are more than just hospital visits,
And I wonder if I could ask one thing of you?
Why no Rhapsody in Blue?!
Leigh Feb 2017
She never humoured anyone,
And she never made us small.
She gave our words more meaning
Than we dared and she thanked us;
Not with a word but with the understanding
That was her nature; Born in her
And given to us freely as she felt us worthy.
Another thing taken for granted,
Or to reflect on;
To learn.

She left long before
I flicked through her life in an album;
Before we cried and before I sang to her,
Or for her.
It's not clear anymore.
*

I hope you've found everything you were searching for.

Sleep easy.

*
Pet was never mourned as you,
Purrer of the spotless hue,
Plumy tail, and wistful gaze
While you humoured our queer ways,
Or outshrilled your morning call
Up the stairs and through the hall—
Foot suspended in its fall—
While, expectant, you would stand
Arched, to meet the stroking hand;
Till your way you chose to wend
Yonder, to your tragic end.

Never another pet for me!
Let your place all vacant be;
Better blankness day by day
Than companion torn away.
Better bid his memory fade,
Better blot each mark he made,
Selfishly escape distress
By contrived forgetfulness,
Than preserve his prints to make
Every morn and eve an ache.

From the chair whereon he sat
Sweep his fur, nor wince thereat;
Rake his little pathways out
Mid the bushes roundabout;
Smooth away his talons’ mark
From the claw-worn pine-tree bark,
Where he climbed as dusk embrowned,
Waiting us who loitered round.

Strange it is this speechless thing,
Subject to our mastering,
Subject for his life and food
To our gift, and time, and mood;
Timid pensioner of us Powers,
His existence ruled by ours,
Should - by crossing at a breath
Into safe and shielded death,
By the merely taking hence
Of his insignificance—
Loom as largened to the sense,
Shape as part, above man’s will,
Of the Imperturbable.

As a prisoner, flight debarred,
Exercising in a yard,
Still retain I, troubled, shaken,
Mean estate, by him forsaken;
And this home, which scarcely took
Impress from his little look,
By his faring to the Dim
Grows all eloquent of him.

Housemate, I can think you still
Bounding to the window-sill,
Over which I vaguely see
Your small mound beneath the tree,
Showing in the autumn shade
That you moulder where you played.
antony glaser Apr 2012
In the morning the mist arises
but some will say it is
yesterday's hubris.
I dont have an attic
to wayleigh communications
or require windows
to twitch gingham curtains
so the deep chill
void remains.

A debutante passed by my uncut grass
but she was no better served,
a dream interview with ******* Club
turned sour, this time of year.
At least she hasn't endless dealership openings
or humoured the word "exhilarating" in interviews
when inventing a rich Stepfather.
Like me there be few visitors.
Thirty  stubborn years will pass
but at least she know the meaning.
The pride of the morning.
Michael John Jul 2018
placed indecision into your opponent´ s
heart-
an affair without end or start
but a cunning infinite!
a wheel of endless doubt..

a labyrinth of love and hate
that waves from the nights
and make past the very moment..!
suggested in  plain silence..


and the stayed magic of third word
light of rhythm and humoured..
-soon a rat inside a box
-thinking outside a box..

a vortex
lost
another´s thought
caught..
Terry Collett Apr 2014
I seem to have inherited
your Che Guevara tee shirt,
red and black,
with the huge
Legends lettering
and portrait,
black on red.

Washed and folded,
I gave it a squeeze,
and held it to my chest
(wanting you back,
my son, and all the rest).

Sometimes I think
we shared the same heroes,
similar, more similar
than I ever thought before,
reflected in the tee shirts
you bought and wore.

I am still making
my way through
your Augusten
Burroughs books,
the humour, insight
and images raised,
have humoured me
at a time I need,
from dark thoughts,
guilts, on my time
and mind, like maggots
they have fed and feed.

I did think
I would talk to you
the following day,
before the coma,
the silence of you
contrasting the ever
sounding machines,
the dials, the lights,
and that, and other
images, keep me
from sleep at nights,
(hence the need
of the sleep
inducing pill).

I seem to have inherited
the black and red
Che Guevara tee shirt
you used to wear,
and when I hold it
against my cheek,
I imagine,
for short moments,
that you are
still there.
ON OLE'S CHE GURVARA TEE HSIRT.
SassyJ Jul 2016
Seems like the time
I searched the sunlight
Seems like the time
I watched the moonlight
My eyes so wide
above the sunset
Seem like the time
I touched the sunlight

Half moon
Half sun
Half river
Full moon
sun rays
blind my sight
Halt, stop
the world is moving
So slow, so slow
this movie

Half tunes
Half dreams
Half heavens
Half real
Half humoured heathens
Halt, stop
the snake is biting
the fangs, the fangs
so drilling

Seems like the time
I searched the sunlight
Seems like the time
I watched the moonlight
My eyes so wide
above the sunset
Seem like the time
I touched the sunlight
For audio follow:
https://soundcloud.com/user-367453778/touched-the-sunlight
Terry Collett Mar 2015
Do steam trains go from Kings Cross to Scotland? Lydia asks. Her father sober smiles. Are you eloping with the Benny boy of yours? He says. Big eyes staring; blue  large marble like. Whats eloping? She asks, frowning. Running off to be married secretly, the daddy says. No, Benedict and I are only nine, so how would we be eloping? Practice run? No no, she says. Nibbles her buttered toast her mother gave. You be mindful, busy that place; crowds are there. He sips his tea. She nibbles more toast, staring at him. How are you getting there; too far to walk? Dont know; Benedictll know; he knows these things. Underground trains best, the daddy suggests. But how to get the money for fare? He asks; his eyes narrow on to her. Dont know, she says, looking at the tablecloth, patterned, birds. Has your Benny boy the money? Sober, good humoured, he smiles. Expect so, she says, doubtful. See your mother, ask her, he suggests, smiling, as if. Well, must be off, work calls, he says. Where are you today? She asks. Train driving to Bristol. Is that near Scotland? He smiles, shakes the head. No, Bristols west, Scotlands north; do you not know your geography? The daddy says. She shrugs. Sober he shakes the head. Well, Im off. See your mother about the fares. She nods; he goes taking a last sip of tea. She eats the buttered toast, cold, limp. She sits and gazes out the window. Sunny, warm looking. The birds on the grass; the bomb shelter still there. Wonders if the mother will. Money for fares. Knock at the front door. Her daddy answers. Opens up. Your Bennys here, Princess, he mocks. See you mind her, Benny boy, shes my precious, the daddy says out the door and away. Lydia goes to the door. Benny is standing there looking at her daddy walking through the Square. Her mother comes to the door wiping her hands on an apron, hair in rollers, cigarette hanging from her lip corner. Whats all this? her mother asks. Lydia looks at Benny. He gazes at the mother. Kings Cross, he says. Is he? The mother says. Train station, Benny adds unsmiling. So? We thought wed go there, Lydia says, shyly, looking at her mother. How do you think of getting there? Underground train, Daddy said. Did he? And did he offer the money? No, said to ask you. Did he? The mother pulls a face, stares at Lydia and Benny. Am I to pay his fare, too? She says, staring at Benny. No, Ive me own, he says, offering out a handful of coins. Just as well. If your daddyd not been sober youd got ****** all permission to go to the end of the road, her mother says, sharp, bee-sting words. Wait here, she says, goes off, puffing like a small, thin, locomotive. Benny stands on the red tiled step. Your dad was sober? She nods, smiles. Rubs hands together, thin, small hands. How are you? Fine, excited if we go, she says, eyeing him, taking in his quiff of hair and hazel eyes; the red and grey sleeveless jumper and white skirt, blue jeans. He looks beyond her; sees the dull brown paint on the walls; a smell of onions or cabbage. Looks past her head at the single light bulb with no light shade. Looks at her standing there nervous, shy. Brown sandals, grey socks, the often worn dress of blue flowers on white, a cardigan blue as cornflowers. They wait. Hows your mother? Ok, he replies. Your dad? Hes ok, he says. They hear her mother cursing along the passage. He says ask for this, but he never dips in his pocket I see, except for the beer and spirit, and o then it out by the handfuls. She opens her black purse. How much? Dont know. The mother eyes the boy. How much? Two bob should do. Two bob? Sure, shell give you change after, Benny says. Eye to eye. Thin line of the mothers mouth. Takes the money from her purse. Shoves in Lydias palm. Be careful. Mind the roads. Lydia looks at her mother, big eyes. Shyly nods. You, the mother points at the boy. Take care of her. Of course. Beware of strange men. I will. Stares at Benny. Hes my Ivanhoe, Lydia says. Is that so. Go then, before I change my mind. Thin lips. Large eyes, cigarette smoking. Take a coat. Lydia goes for her coat. Hows your mother? The mother asks, looks tired when I see her. Shes ok, gets tired, Benny says, looking past the mothers head for Lydia. Not surprised with you being her son. Benny smiles; she doesnt. He looks back into the Square. The baker goes by with his horse drawn bread wagon. Hemmy on the pram sheds with other kids. What you doing making the fecking coat? The mother says over her thin shoulder. Just coming, Lydia replies. Shes there coat in hand. The mother scans her. Mind you behave or youll feel my hand. Lydia nods, looks at Benny, back at the mother. Mind the trains; dont be an **** and fall on the track, the mother says, eyeing Benny, then Lydia. Shes safe with me, Benny says. Ill keep her with me at all times. Youd better. I will. Eye to eye stare. And eat something or youll faint. Ill get us something, the boy says. The mother sighs and walks back into the kitchen, a line of cigarette smoke following her. Ok? She nods. They go out the front door and Lydia closes it gently behind her, hoping the mother wont rush it open and change her mind. They run off across the Square and down the *****. Are we eloping? She asks. What? Us are we eloping? No, train watching. Why? The daddy says. Joking. Sober. Benny smiles, takes in her shy eyes. Whats eloping? He asks. Running off to marry, Daddy says. Too young. Practice run. Daddy said. Not today, Benny says, smiling, crossing a road. Looking both ways. Not now, not in our young days.
A GIRL AND BOY IN LONDON IN 1950S AND A TRIP TO KING'S CROSS.
Marshal Gebbie Jun 2013
Standing there she wrings her hands
The light falls on her thinning hair,
Shadow hides the worried eyes
Which fixate in a distant stare.

Years ago the husband left,
Left despite the child inside,
Despite the growing pile of debt,
He left it all to run and hide.

The boy is born one winter morn
Born with golden curls of mane,
He grows despite the hardship felt,
He grows to suit his noble name.

Boaz is his given name
The Hebrew word for strength and strong,
His mother’s strength of character
Is echoed in his blue eyed song.

Lean and long and strong in frame
A ready smile upon his face,
Beneath his long blond curling locks
Expressing his good humoured grace.

Thinly proud she meets each day,
She bears the hardship, every storm,
Thinly proud she loves the boy
Who runs in rows of growing corn.

Standing there she wrings her hands
A worried mother’s reddened face,
For battle’s flag has called her boy
Who volunteers with pride and grace.

With brimming eyes she thinks of him
Holding close his teddy bear,
Thinking of the laughing moments
Happy times they used to share.

Short letters from the front arrive
A message filled with love and joy
To reassure a mother’s fears,
In promise for her darling boy.

A silence from the distant front
The drums and guns have sung their song,
Chilling tales of valour but,
Combatants now do homeward throng.

Standing there she wrings her hands
With streaming tears as hopes depart,
A deathly silent distant field
Where lies the promise in her heart.

Marshalg
For all the mothers who wait.
20 June 2013
Zoe Irvine Nov 2012
You were born open, I believe,
Eyes and heart and arms and soul;
Shouting and blazing a fiery path
Of beats and drums and rhythms.

Your energy knows no limitations,
Dancing with devilishly hoofed desire;
Savouring each moment of the day -
You make it work for you.

If and would and should are redundant,
When and how and now are yours;
Give and take, have, hold, make:
Present presence, gifts to gaze at in wonder.

A joker, of unbridled passion:
Intense, good-humoured, a heart heavy with joy -
And full of light -
The youngest of men.
Craig Minton Sep 2011
A blindness covers me like a blanket.
The sights, sounds and smells that
once brought such joy and reassurance,
are haunting now.
The perfume, the hair, the pillow.
A light breeze, a quaint look.
You still put a smile on my face,
but it’s different now, tainted perhaps.
Conversations and dreams of the future,
relegated to mere passing comment.
Poorly timed and unfairly executed.
The tracks which once brought us together,
and carried us apart, are longer now than ever.
I still see you at night with eyes pressed tightly shut,
but by the morning you’ve gone.
It’s hard waking up knowing what you’re missing.
The strongest yet most painful feeling,
fades with the fields and blue skies.
Forgetting the most beautiful sunrise you have ever seen,
Is humoured by a tiring cliché.
But I’ve never been a fisherman.
Luce Apr 2014
these are the moments I will immortalise

I will stuff them and give them glass eyes
I will pickle them in jars
I will frame and polish them frequently
and I will make them into a gold chain to be passed down through the generations.

I will share, imprint and bore these memories into my children

they will be both humoured and obsessed with the descriptions
of when their mother embarked on many adventures

when they are young, they will imagine me as a fearless pirate.
as they grow, they will idolise the carefree teenager I am, no - I was.

they will know the times I ventured with friends,
who will hopefully be familiar to my children.
the friends who many years from now will be referred to as 'uncle' and 'aunty'.

they will know about all the road trips
and my habitual late night naps in the back seat
they will know the beat of the drums to the songs we listened to and sung at the top of our lungs
and I will play them to live those moments again -
who says time travel doesn't exist

I hope they will be able to smell the memory, mix of excitement and sweat hanging in the air of the car,
the breath of our youth steamed on the window

my children will know that I fell in love far too young
and, as their mother, these are the world's cruelties I will attempt to educate and shield them from.

because one day, my freckled princess will grow into the queen of her own castle
she'll lift the chin of her own baby and say,

'my mumma said to me, you've got to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince. Don't ever give up hope, because magic exists but it isn't always pretty and he's looking for you like you're looking for him.'

Keep you head down, baby. Keep running, 'cause I promise you're almost there.

but I will not undermine my children
and tell them they are too young to love,
for if they were too young to fall in love, how could they fall unconditionally in love with me?

(as I already am with them, aged eighteen)

I will tell them the stories of how I met their father,
I am unsure as to whether or not I know these stories yet.

We will tell them about the first time our hands interlinked and we instantly felt at home with each-other.
  
           when you know, you know.

We will tell them about the sweetness and innocence that hung on our lips for that very first kiss,
and we will continue to kiss
as if it's that same first kiss
every time
every day

they can not deny true love if they witness it every day of their lives

it will be a living reminder
of the love our children were made from and bought into
and a living reminder
that I loved you,
that I love you
before I knew you...
because you're mine

kisses will be our family heirloom
memories are the best thing I can pass down to you

so my story is still being written
but it is not a forced template for my children's lives

I will hand them pencils, if they wish to draw over their pages
I will hand them fountain pens, if they wish to eloquently craft their words
I will hand them every colour crayon ever made, and let their creativity run  over the pages
as free as their young, bare knees will be on the playground

I wish one day, they will read these words,
and know the memories of my teenage years that have been
and memories of my twenties, thirties, forties and fifties that have yet to be made

I wish they will read these words and they will know that I loved them before they even existed

I will have immortalised these feelings through my words.

So immortalise me, my loves, through your memories.
"The day will come
When my body no longer exists
But in the lines of this poem
I will never let you be alone"
pen sive Aug 2015
You loved countdowns, because they always led to something great.

I thought nothing of them, but humoured you nonetheless.

On New Year's celebrations, we'd marvel at fireworks.

The explosions started to lose their spark.

Your words decreased, my pain ascended.

Each year, we grew apart.

The day finally came.

"This is it.

The end.

Goodbye."
14th August 2015
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
Happy Birthday, my friend,
I hope your days never end
Before you fulfil your desires
And take the plunge into the fires -
Whether Hell's inferno or Heaven's purifying glory;
And that, when told, your story
Of stoic determination and good-humoured candour
Will inspire the next generation to endeavour...
2/7/2009
The Missing Link - Gaia's Boy Toy
Quinn Fox Mar 2016
i’ve been wondering lately
about the cynical views i hold dear
i identify with them greatly
but i’m not sure if they’re sincere

i don’t want to be sixty
and have not appreciated life while i have it
i never even wanted to live till sixty
but life’s all i have isn’t it

the idea of God always merely humoured me
and while an afterlife still eludes me
does nihilism’s peace really compete
with a serenity birthed purely from belief?

i’m non-committal for a family
but a child to guide and be close with
is a ***** kind of alchemy
that maybe would make me a goldsmith

i’m not one for a spouse
but i'd love someone to know me
maybe i could settle for a real house
enough to quench the wanderlust in me

society is cruel
too, life’s fatal rules
but i'd sooner be cast aside and sixty
than six feet deep at twenty

the selfishness of humanity always disgusted me
and while the blindness still eludes me
does humanity’s grief really compete
with a beauty Earthed like a stampede?
time is subjective. don't let life pass you by.
be content with your cynical views if that's what you enjoy, but don't enjoy them just because you're miserable.
have the courage to see the good things life can offer
you'll have to look for them because life isn't usually so courteous
but, well, strength lies truly in the recognition that we have none
courage, really, is living though you've many a reason to die
- there is a difference between being alive and living. it's more than surviving -  
life is what you make of it, as is everything, so enjoy the little things while they're there. and while you're here.
esther Sep 2013
when you're a little girl
they tell you how
you're so pretty
with your messy little braids
and muddy mary-janes
but they never tell you
you're interesting
or clever
or good-humoured
as if you're useless
to be anything
but pretty
as if the world only loves
those with empty heads
and pretty faces
and that there is no
happiness
to be found
for one
with only
beautiful
thoughts.
I need to break the cycle
shake the sadness, smite the gloom,
while all my signs are vital
and before I reach my tomb.

I need to laugh in rainstorms,
breath in the finest smoke
and drown in sweet tequila
among sweet good humoured folk.

I need to blast some Springsteen
get some clothes on, get a grip,
because frankly all this maudlin crap
is making me feel sick.

I need to scream in forests,
get my bare *** in a lake
let the water freeze my **** off
then go home for tea and cake.

I cannot bear this sadness
leaching out from every pore
so I'll work my way right through this list
and then I'll scream....
ENCORE!!!!!
Not been a happy bunny lately....consider your concern duly noted Ryan....thankyou!
SG Holter Sep 2014
She smiles as if she has her whole  
Entire being in the cookie jar.

I laugh from my spine, as the wheels
In her pretty, dark-humoured head

Visibly turn within some sweet, twisted
Process. She speaks with the wit of a

Secret agent; the vocabulary of sailors
And intent of someone like Skeletor.

Her mouth is an instrument from which
Poetry as the opposite of itself sounds;

From where come words that make me
Either thrilled to talk back, or blush. The

Less you care together, the happier you'll be.

She smiles like that. I'm loving this lesson.
Felen Reiwje Sep 2012
The scream that cannot be heard
The anguish untold
Flesh and blood: A humoured existence
Only the lonely
Only the abstract
Only the memories
Comfort me.
I am blinded by truth
So stark and unforgiving
I am struck down
Down in a hole
A deep pit of my making
And I cannot get out.
WoodsWanderer Mar 2016
Hushed mist collects
Under palm fronds enveloped in the night melody
Consisting of crickets, far off moters and the warm heavy sound of contentment.
Orange lights flicker throigh the overgrown trees
Whom drape themselves lovingly over old RVs and quaint trailers.
Those of which house old souls
Content and humoured by their journey through this unexplained world.
And as I sit
Skin already warm from the midnight heat
the crickets my only companions
I wonder if my contentment will measure to these mischievious souls
When I near the end of my journey.
For these moments
Small pleasures
Unexpected uncalled for experiences
Amount to a life worth a thousand laughs.
And what is life?
but laughter light and love
Jason Adriel Jul 2019
July was in full bloom
I could see clearly from my room
the moon and the stars alive and well
The painting of the romantic night quickly fell

I walked to the window and sat
The streets were empty
The apartment even more
A night in the city’s belly

Buses, old and new, passed by
Men and women, of young and old,
stood still and are terribly ill-humoured
No jokes or stories were being told

A cigarette was lit in the room next door
If drink was at play, I was done for
She passed me a lighted one
Her gaze more dangerous than a gun

The streets became animated now
The cinema blurted out hundreds at once
I wondered what was on show?
She replied: probably another low

She brought out a bottle of whiskey
She said: once I leave, you’ll miss me
I said: is there a charge or a fee?
She said: you know it’s always free

She was right in that too:
I miss her alright.
drunks
david mungoshi Oct 2015
She used to obey his every whim
       Love then was obedience
She used to let him have his way
       Love then was playing along

In those days he was never to be questioned
      His every word was like a deity's proclamation
In those days his every fancy was as good as done
       His every mood was to be humoured

Now he is the piper and she pays for his services
          He plays any melody she demands
She tells him what to dream and how to talk about it
            Lady luck deserted him the day the tables turned
I could tell by the morning,
The weather would be daunting and yet so calm.
I could tell that day that the peonies would breathe through the flicker of wind,
And still be going.
Living, death, moving, dead; my body stopped but my mind rocked.
What is happening?

Being taught that we have a right to be here humoured me,
Because I felt I wasn't fully there.
Being taught that love makes the world go around amazed me,
That wasn't true since I felt no sympathy on me, yet I still beg.
Believe us now, or live it miserably.
Are you telling the truth?

Are the bees really here to help our sale of honey?
Are the horses really here to help us travel and teach our children of riding?
Are the aliens really there to keep us wondering?
Teach us that we are worth more than a thousand words,
Before we turn cold, yet have a living soul slowly sinking.
Please, where is my answer?
Next time you're waiting
in a long, slow-moving line,
moo like a cow or bleet like a sheep
and see who is humoured
and see who is offended.
Poetic T Aug 2019
Life is a suicide
                    Note.


For when you die,


                Everyone reads

your last words..


My last vocals read by anothet would
            invite

       All those I hate.
Just to tell those greedy **** losers



          "*******, your broke,

#money grabbing mother *******...

Then those I love those I respect would be watching it live,
       Giggling thinking dark sense of
                        Humoured ******....

I love you all, but those hyena *******

      Can choke on my ashes...
Jimmy silker Aug 18
I went to see Josh Rouse a good few times
Near twenty years ago
He was brilliant and aloof
Intensity a flow

I saw him in an aigburth church
About a month gone past
And clearly the mangle o life
Had humoured up his ***.
Susanna Berlinski  Nov 10
"...a lake of ignorance"? The "ink" that tattooists use, remains in the lymphatic (immune) system for a lifetime. Is it ignorant to compromise your ability to fight infection for a tattoo?

Eloi  
I do not force anyone to have a tattoo.
And if a person chooses personally to do something to their body which will only effect themselves negatively, then that’s not ignorant. What’s ignorant is people taking actions which is killing our environment and not caring that it’ll affect everyone else in the world. That is distinctly ignorant.

I do not know who the ******* think you are to question me this way when you have no idea who I am. Ironically, it’s incredibly ignorant. Thanks very much

Susanna Berlinski 
If you are a tattoo artiste, then you are knowingly poisoning dumb people, which demeans your worth as a human being. You are a hypocrite & a fraud. Bow your bleached head  in shame. Go, and sin no more.

Eloi  
You’re an absolute kook, Wow.

Susanna Berlinski 
I can't help you until you're ready to accept my help.

Eloi  
I don’t want your help. You really are psychotic.

Susanna Berlinski 
Let's discuss your father. Shall we?

Eloi  
What’s the matter with you?  Why’re you so hateful?

Susanna Berlinski
Does the F-word empower you? Your father disapproves of your vulgarity.  Perhaps it's good that your genetic lineage ends with you. The world would suffer needlessly feeding your progeny.

Eloi  
Haha you’re funny, Honestly, I’m humoured. I hope you have a lovely evening, God bless x

Susanna Berlinski  
You lost.

Susanna Berlinski  
You're a foul-mouthed hypocrite.

Eloi  
I haven’t lost anything, dear. You clearly have some issues, I’m just not going to stoop to your level. I’m not foul mouthed, nor a hypocrite. i really hope you can overcome whatever your issues are, I’m sorry that you’re burdened with them. I pray for you to find god and his peace. Good evening, god bless x

Susanna Berlinski  
You wrote this: "I do not know who the ******* think you are to question me  this way when you have no idea who I am." ~ You're a mental ******...

Eloi  
Everyone’s entitled to feeling anger, Swearing isn’t what makes someone foul mouthed, the meaning behind words that someone says is what is.

I truly am sorry for whatever has happened in your life for you to see the world like this, I hope god can find you.

Eloi  
God bless

Susanna Berlinski 
I want you and your father to come to an understanding.
Act as a lady, not like a drunken sailor on leave.
Stop swearing. Stop shacking up. Stop *******.

Eloi  
My father is dead sweetie. You know not who I am. I hope you can just find some peace.

Susanna Berlinski 
Your personal problems should remain personal. Stop  messaging me. I have no interest in fixing your wretched life.

Eloi  
Let me fix yours then

Eloi  
You clearly have some issues
Laura Jan 2023
the afternoon fell like a slate of snow,
tumbling off the rooftops,
a cool haze of memories of the year -
flashing moments of serenity, pain,
and all the stupid ways i’ve loved -
lost and found. if i am anything,
let me be resilient (and humoured) -
this year was an underground parking spot,
takes me 3 point turns, and 20 minutes,
but in the end i get it done, and spend
another 20 minutes laughing about it.
i dance with you to Usher in the car,
water my plants with conviction -
i’m not sure what the plans are now,
i don’t know what the time is,
i’ve just been learning how to be,
authentic and optimistic -
all i have is hope for the new year,
but when i run out of that too,
i have my resilience to keep going.
The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
"...a lake of ignorance"? The "ink" that tattooists use, remains in the lymphatic (immune) system for a lifetime. Is it ignorant to compromise your ability to fight infection for a tattoo?

Eloi  Nov 2017
I do not force anyone to have a tattoo. And if a person chooses personally to do something to their body which will only effect themselves negatively, then that’s not ignorant. What’s ignorant is people taking actions which is killing our environment and not caring that it’ll affect everyone else in the world. That is distinctly ignorant. I do not know who the ******* think you are to question me this way when you have no idea who I am. Ironically, it’s incredibly ignorant. Thanks very much

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
If you are a tattoo artiste, then you are knowingly poisoning dumb people, which demeans your worth as a human being. You are a hypocrite & a fraud. Bow your bleached head in shame. Go, and sin no more.

Eloi  Nov 2017
You’re an absolute kook,
Wow.

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
I can't help you until you're ready to accept my help.

Eloi  Nov 2017
I don’t want your help.
You really are psychotic.

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
Let's discuss your father. Shall we?

Eloi  Nov 2017
What’s the matter with you?
Why’re you so hateful?

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
Does the F-word empower you? Your father disapproves of your vulgarity. Perhaps it's good that your genetic lineage ends with you. The world would suffer needlessly feeding your progeny.

Eloi  Nov 2017
Haha you’re funny,
Honestly, I’m humoured.
I hope you have a lovely evening,
God bless x

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
You lost.

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
You're a foul-mouthed hypocrite.

Eloi  Nov 2017
I haven’t lost anything, dear.
You clearly have some issues, I’m just not going to stoop to your level. I’m not foul mouthed, nor a hypocrite. i really hope you can overcome whatever your issues are, I’m sorry that you’re burdened with them. I pray for you to find god and his peace.
Good evening, god bless x

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
You wrote this: "I do not know who the ******* think you are to question me this way when you have no idea who I am." ~ You're a mental ******...

Eloi  Nov 2017
Everyone’s entitled to feeling anger, Swearing isn’t what makes someone foul mouthed, the meaning behind words that someone says is what is. I truly am sorry for whatever has happened in your life for you to see the world like this. I hope god can find you.

Eloi  Nov 2017
God bless

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
I want you and your father to come to an understanding.
Act as a lady, not like a drunken sailor on leave.
Stop swearing. Stop shacking up. Stop *******.

Eloi  Nov 2017
My father is dead sweetie.
You know not who I am.
I hope you can just find some peace.

The Suzy Berlinsky Happy Show  Nov 2017
Your personal problems should remain personal. Stop
messaging me. I have no interest in fixing your wretched life.

Eloi  Nov 2017
Let me fix yours then

Eloi  Nov 2017
You clearly have some issues
Ryan O'Leary Sep 2020
You were born of her, which
is the most important piece
in this title, endowment of
a birthright estate, a legacy
bestowed, a genetic provision
of the patrimony, a hereditary
gene, a sense of how one must
treat the universe, an awareness
of nature, a knowledge of history,
an appreciation of where you came
from, a sensitivity for those still
there, an ability and willingness
to share the warmth and light
from the uncertainties of a fickle
wick, an open door, a place at
the table, a deaf ear, a blind eye
and a soft word for the honed
harshness of ill-humoured rumour,
a writing of wrongs, a highlighting
of atrocities, an alert to consciences
a **** from the tip of your nib.
                                                      


       ­             <>

“This is your inheritance there’s
  no probate, oh, one last thing
  don’t forget to feed the birds"

— The End —