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"carnivals" poems
575 “Heaven” has different Signs—to me— Sometimes, I think that Noon Is but a symbol of the Place— And when again, at Dawn, A mighty look runs round the World And settles in the Hills— An Awe if it should be like that Upon the Ignorance steals— The Orchard, when the Sun is on— The Triumph of the Birds When they together Victory make— Some Carnivals of Clouds— The Rapture of a finished Day— Returning to the West— All these—remind us of the place That Men call “paradise”— Itself be fairer—we suppose— But how Ourself, shall be Adorned, for a Superior Grace— Not yet, our eyes can see—
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Heaven has different Signs—to me
The boy sat beneath the grey gum, listening to the magpie crooning, somewhere far above his head. He watched as the figure approached, an old man stumbling down a dirt track. "Yer back than." said the boy, standing. "Yeah." Replied the man, "I'm back." The boy sat down again "Yer staying?" "I should never have left you, I realise that now." The man replied. "Was it fun where you went?" asked the boy, "No, it was miserable." said the man, "It could never be fun without you. Have you been to the tree house lately?" "Not since you left," said the boy. "I've just been sitting here waiting, for you to take me to the carnival, where we could eat candy floss and hot dogs to our bellies ached." "I should have taken you with me, I've missed the carnivals and candy floss." The man said his eyes filling with tears. "Is the tyre still hanging over the water hole?" "Of cause it is," said the boy, "you want to go there?" "Oh yes!" Cried the man "I want to go there. More than anything I want to go there!" The boy stood up and took his hand, and together they walked across the pond. 03/03/2010
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Nov 2, 2010
Nov 2, 2010 at 1:49 AM UTC
So You're Back Than!
I love Australia it looks fine to me mate You see Australia is very cool There are a lot of fun things to do here You can go down to Sydney"s beaches Like Bondi, Manly or even Coogee You can see if you can run faster Than the best at city 2 surf It puts Sydney on the Australian map And we also have our great sporting games Like cricket, tennis, AFL and the two rugby codes If you go to the USA, you'll see so many parades They have for christmas While we just have one main parade Which is from Adelaide, and that is really good You get at glimpse of the past with come on Aussie come on Sydney started a great Santa race, where you run A marathon dressed in a Santa suit And it was brought to Canberra And it was very successful too There are two televised Christmas carols From Sydney's domain and Melbourne's Meyer music bowl Yes, if you see the great ocean road and then have a look At the grampians, you will have a great time And there are some great surf carnivals on various beaches here Showing that footy and cricket, is not all we have We love to drink, sometimes too much But we are out to have a good time A ball, we are ready to party this Australia day Australian sons, oh let us rejoice But we need to include women too Australians all let us rejoice With Tony Abbott wanting to destroy us AS OUR BELOVED PRIME MINISTER OH YEAH A HEAP We are aussie through and through So when we go our on Australa day We watch the fireworks, yes we are having a big ball of fun In the country of Australia
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Jan 20, 2015
Jan 20, 2015 at 5:55 PM UTC
I LOVE AUSTRALIA FOR AUSTRALIA DAY
I love Australia it looks fine to me mate You see Australia is very cool There are a lot of fun things to do here You can go down to Sydney"s beaches Like Bondi, Manly or even Coogee You can see if you can run faster Than the best at city 2 surf It puts Sydney on the Australian map And we also have our great sporting games Like cricket, tennis, AFL and the two rugby codes If you go to the USA, you'll see so many parades They have for christmas While we just have one main parade Which is from Adelaide, and that is really good You get at glimpse of the past with come on Aussie come on Sydney started a great Santa race, where you run A marathon dressed in a Santa suit And it was brought to Canberra And it was very successful too There are two televised Christmas carols From Sydney's domain and Melbourne's Meyer music bowl Yes, if you see the great ocean road and then have a look At the grampians, you will have a great time And there are some great surf carnivals on various beaches here Showing that footy and cricket, is not all we have We love to drink, sometimes too much But we are out to have a good time A ball, we are ready to party this Australia day Australian sons, oh let us rejoice But we need to include women too Australians all let us rejoice With Tony Abbott wanting to destroy us AS OUR BELOVED PRIME MINISTER OH YEAH A HEAP We are aussie through and through So when we go our on Australa day We watch the fireworks, yes we are having a big ball of fun In the country of Australia
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37
With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He sits a thousand miles across Through earth’s hard calluses atop bent-knuckle mountains And soft, golden hair growing in the soil Through lakes full with tears And forests filled with hands and fingers... He sits a hundred blinks of the sun And watches drive-in theaters disappear Along with the ferris wheels Spinning into nothing Dances going mute Bodies moving soundlessly through the air He watches lights go out in carnivals And hands letting go THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He stands and shuffles Through undefined shapes of colour A brilliant array of blurred blues And greens And yellows They move so Fast Through his eyes THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He sits Through the drone of voices in his ears And nods To mask his heart And smiles To mask the obvious Pull On his soul Dragging it down Trying to keep it from being pulled Out Through the soles of his feet A mask on his face To hide the struggle To keep it from Slipping Away THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He writes with his thumbs Words he hopes Can be felt Like winds that whisper love Through ears And cold water That reaches through Skin and freezes bone And the words return Like rivers do Sometimes Missing A few drops of water Sometimes A little less happy And a little more Tainted With sad things Like broke down carnivals And quiet dances... Ferris wheels that stop turning And drive in theaters that stop playing movies It becomes a little more polluted With sad things Like closed curtains over the sunset Through the window And tea that goes cold A little more And a little more Until the words that return Like rivers do Are missing More drops of water And They Dry Until No Water Runs Down The River THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He sits with lips closed Under the mask of a smile A mask of calmness over the worry In his heart Sadness masked by happiness Tears masked by laughter Fears masked by confidence A mask For every Emotion That his brain triggers Except one Because to him No mask can cover What she makes him feel Such pure Perfection When she Holds His Hand THE SUN BLINKS And no words come to his tongue Or pass his lips Silence, masked
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Nov 19, 2010
Nov 19, 2010 at 1:56 AM UTC
The Carnival (A Mask)
With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He sits a thousand miles across Through earth’s hard calluses atop bent-knuckle mountains And soft, golden hair growing in the soil Through lakes full with tears And forests filled with hands and fingers... He sits a hundred blinks of the sun And watches drive-in theaters disappear Along with the ferris wheels Spinning into nothing Dances going mute Bodies moving soundlessly through the air He watches lights go out in carnivals And hands letting go THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He stands and shuffles Through undefined shapes of colour A brilliant array of blurred blues And greens And yellows They move so Fast Through his eyes THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He sits Through the drone of voices in his ears And nods To mask his heart And smiles To mask the obvious Pull On his soul Dragging it down Trying to keep it from being pulled Out Through the soles of his feet A mask on his face To hide the struggle To keep it from Slipping Away THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He writes with his thumbs Words he hopes Can be felt Like winds that whisper love Through ears And cold water That reaches through Skin and freezes bone And the words return Like rivers do Sometimes Missing A few drops of water Sometimes A little less happy And a little more Tainted With sad things Like broke down carnivals And quiet dances... Ferris wheels that stop turning And drive in theaters that stop playing movies It becomes a little more polluted With sad things Like closed curtains over the sunset Through the window And tea that goes cold A little more And a little more Until the words that return Like rivers do Are missing More drops of water And They Dry Until No Water Runs Down The River THE SUN BLINKS With worthless words In his throat And on his tongue He sits with lips closed Under the mask of a smile A mask of calmness over the worry In his heart Sadness masked by happiness Tears masked by laughter Fears masked by confidence A mask For every Emotion That his brain triggers Except one Because to him No mask can cover What she makes him feel Such pure Perfection When she Holds His Hand THE SUN BLINKS And no words come to his tongue Or pass his lips Silence, masked
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125
they're the worst, and i mean that literally imagine this, imagine that everything that terrifies you, from any age that you've been from the things that barely ***** you to the things that you are deathly afraid of under one tent, an old worn down halloween coloured carny tent, filled with broken down rides and fallen apart structures and lit only by the moon all with one intent, all of them working together to reach one goal to get you, and have their way with you and you can't fight back, every time you try to, they just get stronger so you do the one thing you can do at this point you run you run faster then you ever have before, and none of this weird *** dream running where you move slowly when you're trying to run i mean full out sprinting you run and try to escape but there's no way out, the holed purple and orange walls of the tent flap in the wind but when you go to touch them, they fill and turn solid solid concrete below three inches of dirt, and you can't see anything to climb you run and try to hide the lesser terrors might try to help you. trying to convince you that this place is safe, or to let them lead the others off of your trail but they never tell the truth, they only do one thing they help the greater terrors find you so you refuse their help, shooing them away, and you survive for a bit longer but its always the same, in the end, no matter what you try, every time it ends the same way they find you, hiding on top of one of the structures, in a little cave, somewhere in one of the rides and you're tortured you're tortured worse than you ever thought that a being would do sometimes your tongue is split into thirds from side to side, and is then cut from front to back sometimes your limbs and body are twisted and contorted into strange shapes, making you into human art you foolishly believed that these things might have a heart and not make it as slow and painful as they could well you're right for the first bit, they do have a heart of sorts after they're done playing with you after they're done toying with your body they don't just let you be, leave you where you are to stay there in agony no, they **** you nothing extra, nothing complex just a stab through the heart, a ripping off of the head, and you're gone unless they're being crueler at which point, you have the option of fighting back or letting them **** you in a gruesome way, hanging you from a rope over an open tank of water with lots of hungry creatures eagerly awaiting your fall at least, that's what you think they do, you're never asleep long enough to find out and that's why youre glad that they've only now begun to come and get you while you're awake
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Jun 30, 2014
Jun 30, 2014 at 11:25 PM UTC
Dark Carnivals
they're the worst, and i mean that literally imagine this, imagine that everything that terrifies you, from any age that you've been from the things that barely ***** you to the things that you are deathly afraid of under one tent, an old worn down halloween coloured carny tent, filled with broken down rides and fallen apart structures and lit only by the moon all with one intent, all of them working together to reach one goal to get you, and have their way with you and you can't fight back, every time you try to, they just get stronger so you do the one thing you can do at this point you run you run faster then you ever have before, and none of this weird *** dream running where you move slowly when you're trying to run i mean full out sprinting you run and try to escape but there's no way out, the holed purple and orange walls of the tent flap in the wind but when you go to touch them, they fill and turn solid solid concrete below three inches of dirt, and you can't see anything to climb you run and try to hide the lesser terrors might try to help you. trying to convince you that this place is safe, or to let them lead the others off of your trail but they never tell the truth, they only do one thing they help the greater terrors find you so you refuse their help, shooing them away, and you survive for a bit longer but its always the same, in the end, no matter what you try, every time it ends the same way they find you, hiding on top of one of the structures, in a little cave, somewhere in one of the rides and you're tortured you're tortured worse than you ever thought that a being would do sometimes your tongue is split into thirds from side to side, and is then cut from front to back sometimes your limbs and body are twisted and contorted into strange shapes, making you into human art you foolishly believed that these things might have a heart and not make it as slow and painful as they could well you're right for the first bit, they do have a heart of sorts after they're done playing with you after they're done toying with your body they don't just let you be, leave you where you are to stay there in agony no, they **** you nothing extra, nothing complex just a stab through the heart, a ripping off of the head, and you're gone unless they're being crueler at which point, you have the option of fighting back or letting them **** you in a gruesome way, hanging you from a rope over an open tank of water with lots of hungry creatures eagerly awaiting your fall at least, that's what you think they do, you're never asleep long enough to find out and that's why youre glad that they've only now begun to come and get you while you're awake
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40
when i see you i am transported to a summer carnival. and you are the ferris wheel. you lift me up and take me to new heights. but you drop me eventually. you always drop me. but maybe the drop is worth it because I get to be lifted by you.
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Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 1:15 AM UTC
carnivals
You aren't big **** 'till you're on a stick, not even legitimate like gator, hotdogs, sausage and chicken. A stick gets your mouth waterin' and your tongue lickin' you can get your veggies on a shish-kabob and cotton candy handed to you at any sport or circus, we even got religious services about servin' this person on a stick! Wanna be famous? Get your wish and put somethin' on a stick-- the get rich quick types stick 'em up their *** while the rest of us gather at fairs and carnivals to mindlessly laugh at jugglers, clowns and ride circular rides. All the while snackin' on somethin' on a stick.
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Aug 18, 2012
Aug 18, 2012 at 4:22 PM UTC
America: On a Stick
Little one, try not to be so broken. Save a shuddering breath or two, you've already spoken. Little one, emotions, energy is spent, vent, vent now little one, cry on my collarbone. Nerves and naves may fail you but I will never leave you alone. I need red. Give me purple, fuchsia, and maroon. All of the colors that sear your insides; carnivals come too soon. Little one, let it out, just save me some.
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Jul 15, 2012
Jul 15, 2012 at 7:09 PM UTC
Little One, Save Me Some
To everyone else who used it to seal a present, It was nothing more than A color to choose A length to measure A string to knot It was something that held together a treasure But to her, a ribbon was so much more The triangular slit She herself had cut at the edge Of the soft pink ribbon, Ended in corners, The way her smile did Everytime she'd Loop and pull Loop and pull The bows she'd craft Were more to her Than just bunny ears and tails. They were trinkets of triumph Hints of hope Possessions of passion They reminded her of spring Not the season But spring Of the trampoline In her first gymnastics competition. The ribbon hugged her ponytail Delicate and dainty The ribbon lay around her neck holding Gold Silver Bronze Ribbon nonetheless They reminded her of balloons Not the hot air type. Balloons at carnivals That floated Miles away Heights astray If there was not ribbon To secure it tight On her fragile wrist They reminded her of father. Not that he wore ribbons or anything. But that he left her with one Wrapped around A freshly picked Bundle of flowers Bundle of happiness Bundle of unspoken words of affirmation But flowers die And so did father When they did, She was left with nothing but the ribbon Loose and dirtied. But the pinkness Unlike flowers and father, Barely faded away And for the first time in a long time, She saw life In something that didn't have any.
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Oct 19, 2013
Oct 19, 2013 at 1:59 PM UTC
Bunny Ears and Tails
The sky is pink with the sunset and, The clouds look like cotton candy. I want to eat popcorn at carnivals, or spend all day by riverbanks soaking up the atmosphere. The air is tinged with sun tan lotion, freshly mowed grass and, the laughter of children playing in puddles left over from afternoon showers. The breeze is thick and warm, flowing through the skirts of lovers And kissing bare shoulders. Daisies and dandelions tilt their faces towards the sun, Proudly pretending they each deserve to be picked and braided into chains, adorning necks and hair. Little girls dressed in sunshine dance in the evening glow, as little boys catch fireflies in an attempt to captivate and impress. I hold my breath as the sun dips below the horizon and, sets the sky on fire one last time. I could swear time stops As everything transforms into silhouettes of what they were. The clouds give way to a million stars, that still can't shine as bright as your eyes. The whole world tucks itself away, but not us. We lounge in the cool grass and breathe in the moment when all I can feel is your hand in mine, and the earth still coming alive with summertime.
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Feb 10, 2011
Feb 10, 2011 at 9:54 PM UTC
Summertime
I love Australia it looks fine to me mate You see Australia is very cool There are a lot of fun things to do here You can go down to Sydney"s beaches Like Bondi, Manly or even Coogee You can see if you can run faster Than the best at city 2 surf It puts Sydney on the Australian map And we also have our great sporting games Like cricket, tennis, AFL and the two rugby codes If you go to the USA, you'll see so many parades They have for christmas While we just have one main parade Which is from Adelaide, and that is really good You get at glimpse of the past with come on Aussie come on Sydney started a great Santa race, where you run A marathon dressed in a Santa suit And it was brought to Canberra And it was very successful too There are two televised Christmas carols From Sydney's domain and Melbourne's Meyer music bowl Yes, if you see the great ocean road and then have a look At the grampians, you will have a great time And there are some great surf carnivals on various beaches here Showing that footy and cricket, is not all we have We love to drink, sometimes too much But we are out to have a good time A ball, we are ready to party this Australia day Australian sons, oh let us rejoice But we need to include women too Australians all let us rejoice With Tony Abbott wanting to destroy us TOO BAD JULIA AND KEVIN WEREN’T ANY MATCH BUT We are aussie through and through So when we go our on Australa day We watch the fireworks, yes we are having a big ball of fun In the country of Australia
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Feb 17, 2015
Feb 17, 2015 at 2:45 AM UTC
i love australia, it is pretty radical, dudes
I love Australia it looks fine to me mate You see Australia is very cool There are a lot of fun things to do here You can go down to Sydney"s beaches Like Bondi, Manly or even Coogee You can see if you can run faster Than the best at city 2 surf It puts Sydney on the Australian map And we also have our great sporting games Like cricket, tennis, AFL and the two rugby codes If you go to the USA, you'll see so many parades They have for christmas While we just have one main parade Which is from Adelaide, and that is really good You get at glimpse of the past with come on Aussie come on Sydney started a great Santa race, where you run A marathon dressed in a Santa suit And it was brought to Canberra And it was very successful too There are two televised Christmas carols From Sydney's domain and Melbourne's Meyer music bowl Yes, if you see the great ocean road and then have a look At the grampians, you will have a great time And there are some great surf carnivals on various beaches here Showing that footy and cricket, is not all we have We love to drink, sometimes too much But we are out to have a good time A ball, we are ready to party this Australia day Australian sons, oh let us rejoice But we need to include women too Australians all let us rejoice With Tony Abbott wanting to destroy us TOO BAD JULIA AND KEVIN WEREN’T ANY MATCH BUT We are aussie through and through So when we go our on Australa day We watch the fireworks, yes we are having a big ball of fun In the country of Australia
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37
Up, down, all around, Twirling, whirling, blurs of sound, Din of colours, clashing loud, Speed rushing, Time pulling, Air flowing, Gliding upwards, Sky so blue, Flying downwards, See you soon, Laughter floating all around, Scents dancing home from town, Pink clouds sold on sticks, Enchanted by magic tricks, Music falling to the ground, Happiness all around.
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May 20, 2013
May 20, 2013 at 2:14 AM UTC
Carnivals & Rollercoasters
postulate carnivals festivities ferris wheels unicorns tooting horns laughs squeals of carnivorous joviality held breath heights scary games of chance winning all today it is our day to populate reality with fairy tales or obliviate insanity send notice from highs cry together deny no more the obvious sobriety holding in that hit wary of getting caught losing it all so say with me I believe in fairy tales
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Oct 3, 2014
Oct 3, 2014 at 4:27 AM UTC
fairy tales
The body was quickly covered by a black sheet, but Tommy had still seen it, and the image seemed to stick to his eyes like a melted Popsicle. He did not feel sad, or angry, or even curious – Tommy felt nothing at all except wonder at the fact that you could exist one moment, and not the next. “Hey there,” said the tall man in blue. He wore a badge on his shirt that said ‘police’. “Hi,” said Tommy, nervously looking up at the man. He felt as though he should not have been looking at the body, as though it were forbidden. “What’s your name, son?” “My name is Tommy and I live down the street,” he said, the words spilling out of his mouth. He felt that he needed to explain himself. “I was just riding my bike when...” “Did you see what was under that tarp?” the man asked, pointing at the blanket. The body had since disappeared, but Tommy knew that the body had just been taken away so others wouldn’t see. Tommy didn’t respond, but the officer nodded. “Do you want to see something cool?” said the policeman, and Tommy nodded once more. The policeman walked over to his car and dipped inside, ducking his head under the ledge of the door frame. He looked at Tommy and smiled, clicked a few buttons, and then suddenly there were bright colours, not unlike the colours Tommy had seen at carnivals.
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Jan 30, 2016
Jan 30, 2016 at 10:37 AM UTC
Age Gap - Dialogue (Prompt)
Favorites, Reposts, Comments: Currency of the cacophonous conumdrum carried onward in carnivals of catatonic cherubims trading virtual cadence for confidence and compliments.
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Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 4:00 AM UTC
Currency Of Esteem
I like people who don't trust people Like a locked bathroom door Protected from their own Self exposure But I just want to develop them in black & white Sell their silhouettes on the black market Seeing what they're really worth These are the people with lures hanging from their teeth like wind chimes or dreamcatchers Bodies of abandoned carnivals And people become like trespassers On their unholy grounds Here to document the decay   Caress the chipping paint Hoping for tetanus They wonder when they became Archeology Like the lost part of found
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Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 2:03 PM UTC
We Are Poachers Not Posers
_my stange addiction - Billie Eilish_ No, Billie, I haven't done that dance since my wife died There's a whole crowd of people out there who need to learn how to do the Scarn Don't ask questions you don't wanna know Learned my lesson way too long ago To be talking to you, belladonna Shoulda taken a break, not an oxford comma Take what I want when I wanna And I want ya Bad, bad news One of us is gonna lose I'm the powder, you're the fuse Just add some friction You are my strange addiction You are my strange addiction My doctors can't explain My symptoms or my pain But you are my strange addiction I'm really, really sorry I think I was just relieved to see that Michael Scarn got his confidence back Yeah, Michael, that movie is amazing It's like, one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life Deadly fever, please don't ever break Be my reliever 'cause I don't self medicate And it burns like a gin and I like it Put your lips on my skin and you might ignite it Hurts, but I know how to hide it, kinda like it Bad, bad news One of us is gonna lose I'm the powder, you're the fuse Just add some friction You are my strange addiction You are my strange addiction My doctors can't explain My symptoms or my pain But you are my strange addiction Bite my glass, set myself on fire Can't you tell I'm crass? Can't you tell I'm wired? Tell me "Nothing lasts" Like I don't know You could kiss my as-king about my motto You should enter it in festivals Or carnivals Thoughts? Pretty good reaction Pretty cool, right? You are my strange addiction You are my strange addiction My doctors can't explain My symptoms or my pain But you are my strange addiction Did you like it? Did you like that? Um, which part?
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Feb 16, 2020
Feb 16, 2020 at 11:01 AM UTC
Note 336:
_my stange addiction - Billie Eilish_ No, Billie, I haven't done that dance since my wife died There's a whole crowd of people out there who need to learn how to do the Scarn Don't ask questions you don't wanna know Learned my lesson way too long ago To be talking to you, belladonna Shoulda taken a break, not an oxford comma Take what I want when I wanna And I want ya Bad, bad news One of us is gonna lose I'm the powder, you're the fuse Just add some friction You are my strange addiction You are my strange addiction My doctors can't explain My symptoms or my pain But you are my strange addiction I'm really, really sorry I think I was just relieved to see that Michael Scarn got his confidence back Yeah, Michael, that movie is amazing It's like, one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life Deadly fever, please don't ever break Be my reliever 'cause I don't self medicate And it burns like a gin and I like it Put your lips on my skin and you might ignite it Hurts, but I know how to hide it, kinda like it Bad, bad news One of us is gonna lose I'm the powder, you're the fuse Just add some friction You are my strange addiction You are my strange addiction My doctors can't explain My symptoms or my pain But you are my strange addiction Bite my glass, set myself on fire Can't you tell I'm crass? Can't you tell I'm wired? Tell me "Nothing lasts" Like I don't know You could kiss my as-king about my motto You should enter it in festivals Or carnivals Thoughts? Pretty good reaction Pretty cool, right? You are my strange addiction You are my strange addiction My doctors can't explain My symptoms or my pain But you are my strange addiction Did you like it? Did you like that? Um, which part?
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54
I wrote this a few months ago on a flight across the country. Not my best, but it healed me a bit Thinking about you doesn't get any easier and even at 30,000 feet in the air the feeling you left with me somehow manages to suffocate me, through twenty different layers of clouds and pressurized cabins. The lady sitting next to me has a sad look in her eyes. Maybe she is suffering through some kind of heartbreak herself, just like me. She orders her coffee black. I want to reach out to her and hold her hand, but it's probably too cold, and she might **** away from my touch, the same way you did that day when you left. She smells like cheap perfume and the lies of lovers she has tried too hard to forget. I wonder about jumping right out this plane right now. I wonder if I'd land with a splat and if a nice young man would arrive with a broom and pan, sweep me up, and discard me into the nearest trash can, like they do in the carnivals. Would I regret it the moment my feet left the edge of the plane? Would I get the same feeling in my stomach on the way down as I did when we were together? I think I'd only jump if I were holding your hand. I wrote “I miss you” in a too big sharpie across the front of my notebook on Tuesday. Colored it in blue because there’s not enough green to feel much else when you're not around. Two hours to go and my entire life is falling down around me. (Leave me be leave me be leave me be.) I want to be the space that water fills between your toes and hidden among the things that keeps your rusty heart beating. But I can't be the oil that makes your wheels keep spinning. At best I'm the hot hot steam that keeps your hands from burning and bleeding. You don't want me and you never fell in love with me. You fell in love with words I learned to recite and looks I knew when to give and this carcinogenic smile. Apologies don't sound as true as they should and I never really say what I mean. I'm just as ****** up as you. And these are words carved into walls of abandoned asylums and painted on canvases with blood in lieu of paint and this is the only way I know how to say that I know what you're going through and what you've been through and how sorry I am that I can't be everything you expected of me.
0
Jun 18, 2013
Jun 18, 2013 at 12:02 AM UTC
Plane & Not Very Simple
I wrote this a few months ago on a flight across the country. Not my best, but it healed me a bit Thinking about you doesn't get any easier and even at 30,000 feet in the air the feeling you left with me somehow manages to suffocate me, through twenty different layers of clouds and pressurized cabins. The lady sitting next to me has a sad look in her eyes. Maybe she is suffering through some kind of heartbreak herself, just like me. She orders her coffee black. I want to reach out to her and hold her hand, but it's probably too cold, and she might **** away from my touch, the same way you did that day when you left. She smells like cheap perfume and the lies of lovers she has tried too hard to forget. I wonder about jumping right out this plane right now. I wonder if I'd land with a splat and if a nice young man would arrive with a broom and pan, sweep me up, and discard me into the nearest trash can, like they do in the carnivals. Would I regret it the moment my feet left the edge of the plane? Would I get the same feeling in my stomach on the way down as I did when we were together? I think I'd only jump if I were holding your hand. I wrote “I miss you” in a too big sharpie across the front of my notebook on Tuesday. Colored it in blue because there’s not enough green to feel much else when you're not around. Two hours to go and my entire life is falling down around me. (Leave me be leave me be leave me be.) I want to be the space that water fills between your toes and hidden among the things that keeps your rusty heart beating. But I can't be the oil that makes your wheels keep spinning. At best I'm the hot hot steam that keeps your hands from burning and bleeding. You don't want me and you never fell in love with me. You fell in love with words I learned to recite and looks I knew when to give and this carcinogenic smile. Apologies don't sound as true as they should and I never really say what I mean. I'm just as ****** up as you. And these are words carved into walls of abandoned asylums and painted on canvases with blood in lieu of paint and this is the only way I know how to say that I know what you're going through and what you've been through and how sorry I am that I can't be everything you expected of me.
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5
We don't say "I love you" anymore The sentiment buried deep Seldom considered Never discussed A declaration that swims With memories Sinks with exhaustion Hardens with repetition Deep in the recesses of our souls The fear of it's loss Is the proof of it's existence Throughout it's evolution How painful to let go of what it once was How difficult to grasp what it has become How dreadful to consider what it may turn into Sublimated, as it is Fighting gravity to escape the ocean floor This love awaits resurrection The renewal of senses dumbed down "I love you" takes it's rightful place Beyond the realm of intelligence Into the dumb bliss of Spirit To mingle with childhood dreams Memories of carnivals and candy Moms and Dads To pick up after us Teaching, alas, by example Wide-eyed wonder for alien species Dogs and cats and turtles and frogs Butterflies and bees, lightning bugs and praying mantis We marvel at it's devotion and wonder What is he praying for? Who is he praying for? More likely we marveled at how green he was Days when we knew love without knowing it's name Before we knew what it was A given Yes, a Given Waiting for the day when it would be Taken for granted Yes, Taken The words have become useless to us Offered and received so many times Put them to rest Hope for the best
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Jan 6, 2011
Jan 6, 2011 at 6:50 AM UTC
words
it's always fun at carnivals. pretty lights, cotton candy, fun games it's a fountain of youth for everyone. until the lights shut down. the cotton candy rots. the games are already playing you. and it gets worse. the dark, cloudy sky chases you. kids start crying all over the place. rain is pouring down the carousel. the carousel? The Carousel? The Carousel, where you thought would be the safest ride. where you carefully placed the secrets of your world. where you wistfully pointed out your dreams. where you stayed without feeling dizzy when all you did was to go round and round and round round and round until you started to get tired. you saw the horses are not the real horses you always dreamed of riding. you heard the music isn't pleasing anymore. you heard cracks and gears being dislocated. you can't see anything anymore. your secrets have escaped instead of you. you tried to escape this demeaning makeshift world of yours but to no luck. you've seen the whole carnival now. dreary, miserable, lonely. the once colorful tents were now drenched in sorrowful monochrome. mirrors are placed all over the gaming booths. broken lights. sad, sad music. you thought The Carousel was the carnival itself. i thought The Carousel was the carnival itself. i made the greatest mistake of not tasting the cotton candy, not feeling the sun on my skin. have the horses tricked me? i've seen the whole carnival now. it's not what it is years ago. the gates are closed. it's always fun at carnivals. the fun never stops. dim lights, rotten food, mind games. everyone's favorite choice is escape. i tried to. i'm still trying to.
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May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017 at 10:59 AM UTC
a fun house is not a fun home
it's always fun at carnivals. pretty lights, cotton candy, fun games it's a fountain of youth for everyone. until the lights shut down. the cotton candy rots. the games are already playing you. and it gets worse. the dark, cloudy sky chases you. kids start crying all over the place. rain is pouring down the carousel. the carousel? The Carousel? The Carousel, where you thought would be the safest ride. where you carefully placed the secrets of your world. where you wistfully pointed out your dreams. where you stayed without feeling dizzy when all you did was to go round and round and round round and round until you started to get tired. you saw the horses are not the real horses you always dreamed of riding. you heard the music isn't pleasing anymore. you heard cracks and gears being dislocated. you can't see anything anymore. your secrets have escaped instead of you. you tried to escape this demeaning makeshift world of yours but to no luck. you've seen the whole carnival now. dreary, miserable, lonely. the once colorful tents were now drenched in sorrowful monochrome. mirrors are placed all over the gaming booths. broken lights. sad, sad music. you thought The Carousel was the carnival itself. i thought The Carousel was the carnival itself. i made the greatest mistake of not tasting the cotton candy, not feeling the sun on my skin. have the horses tricked me? i've seen the whole carnival now. it's not what it is years ago. the gates are closed. it's always fun at carnivals. the fun never stops. dim lights, rotten food, mind games. everyone's favorite choice is escape. i tried to. i'm still trying to.
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45
graham ******* mud pie at pop's, rest his soul the rush of new friendships, the faith in letting go reading when you’re lonely, chillin' while you’re old, rivers in the blinding heat, campfires in the cold car rides with the windows down, jogging with the pooch, biking through a foreign town, stealing a native smooch gum drops, lemon heads, marshmallow peeps, sunday dinner, carnivals, local meet-and-greets snow days, warm winter days, soup to ward the flu, paydays, big-puppy days, and coming home to you
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May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 6:44 PM UTC
The Good Things
the day races to extinction and as the shadows dominate the last few warm rays become lambent on the abnormal insight that has grown within me as the day has grown long she had no face she had no presence in the air no name or written word to leave behind yet here she is a mere ghost  image between the dark sheets of the rainstorm as she has for may years just watching silently the  scratching noises of the pen in my hand replaces the wind-song of summer day with harsh tones yet it brings my thoughts to distant woodland lake that was my escape from the years that i spent in the company of the lesser misbegotten that lake and the my time there was unchanged and seems remote in my vision from the turmoil of my winterbound soul plundering my forward motion for the energy to cope with the passing thoughts like carnivals of flesh obscene visions of naked truth unrestrained by years of devoted hiding i am unable to grasp any other path than to become like her a shadow obscured in the in the rainstorm a fleeting vision in the passing hours
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May 19, 2013
May 19, 2013 at 4:05 AM UTC
abnormal insight
Maybe it was something I did. Something I said. Something that could've been avoided, maybe not. I could've waited, stalled a little longer, but I couldn't hold back the words that changed you. They tried to tell me how crazy I was, chasing after a carnie. But I was stupid enough not to listen. They tried to tell me that I was just gonna end up crying with a broken heart, and I was rebellious enough to ignore it. So now you'll go on with your life, leaving me behind. And I'll regret the words I spoke too soon for the rest of my life. You'll continue to be the wonderful carnie you are. And I'll keep being the reckless little girl who fell in love with a carnie and never looked back. We'll part ways as strangers who were once lovers, and you'll reminisce on the times we spent together. I'll go become a chef, or a waitress, and hope you'll come into my restaurant and sweep me off my feet, just like that summer of pure happiness and freedom. Girls will crawl backwards to be with you, but you'll know in your heart that none of them will ever be me, and I'll be tripping myself up trying to get over you. You'll meet celebrities and singers and all sorts of beautiful women. I'll earn a big time gig with a chef from Miami, or some big city, and move away, forgetting about you. And you'll realize that the girl you left crying in the dirt was the girl you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and I'll look back at the pictures, remembering the carnie that I was stupid enough to fall for. You'll come searching for me, while working your many carnivals, with your heart of steel on your sleeve. We'll run into each other somewhere down the road, an awkward run-in, but an unforgettable one. I'll remember how much I loved you and run right back into your arms, forgetting the life I had just built for myself. But that is just a daydream of a helpless girl who just had her young fragile heart broken by the restless carnie who was bad enough to steal it from her. And so for now, we forgive and forget, cherishing the summer of love, the summer of swiftness, and the summer of absolute certainty.
0
Nov 3, 2013
Nov 3, 2013 at 2:27 PM UTC
My lovely carnie
Maybe it was something I did. Something I said. Something that could've been avoided, maybe not. I could've waited, stalled a little longer, but I couldn't hold back the words that changed you. They tried to tell me how crazy I was, chasing after a carnie. But I was stupid enough not to listen. They tried to tell me that I was just gonna end up crying with a broken heart, and I was rebellious enough to ignore it. So now you'll go on with your life, leaving me behind. And I'll regret the words I spoke too soon for the rest of my life. You'll continue to be the wonderful carnie you are. And I'll keep being the reckless little girl who fell in love with a carnie and never looked back. We'll part ways as strangers who were once lovers, and you'll reminisce on the times we spent together. I'll go become a chef, or a waitress, and hope you'll come into my restaurant and sweep me off my feet, just like that summer of pure happiness and freedom. Girls will crawl backwards to be with you, but you'll know in your heart that none of them will ever be me, and I'll be tripping myself up trying to get over you. You'll meet celebrities and singers and all sorts of beautiful women. I'll earn a big time gig with a chef from Miami, or some big city, and move away, forgetting about you. And you'll realize that the girl you left crying in the dirt was the girl you wanted to spend the rest of your life with, and I'll look back at the pictures, remembering the carnie that I was stupid enough to fall for. You'll come searching for me, while working your many carnivals, with your heart of steel on your sleeve. We'll run into each other somewhere down the road, an awkward run-in, but an unforgettable one. I'll remember how much I loved you and run right back into your arms, forgetting the life I had just built for myself. But that is just a daydream of a helpless girl who just had her young fragile heart broken by the restless carnie who was bad enough to steal it from her. And so for now, we forgive and forget, cherishing the summer of love, the summer of swiftness, and the summer of absolute certainty.
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