"apologises" poems
*I sat under a paper umbrella of the reddest hue autumn
and like an apple
I waited for you to pick me ripe
bite, smell my neck
and remember.
I sat on bench of grey weather boards
waiting to be thrown down upon them-
wanting to be pinned down upon them.
Feet on a rug of discarded
leaves, just like me.
discarded but beautiful.
still just a season long
season woman,
can you love me winter long?
Ill meet you on the snowy bench.
white puffs of apologises will float from my mouth.
my toes will shake and the fence we loved for being red
we'll love for being white.
Red will now slither to my ears and you will say things I can't hear.
And the stars will paint the sky too dark so we
can see that winter sparkles.
Spring is full of other lovers, this bench-
lovers that are not you and I.
And the playground is full of candy wrappers and mothers sneakers.
The trees are majestically green stretching and yawning and showing off.
The children bouncing, whining, crying, finding.
Spring is full of lovers but not us
so she gives my heart to summer
and glass doesn't melt so the places where I like to feel your sweat
are the places where they like to touch my body.
summer makes us reckless and the bench, our bench is being held together by the squirrels claws and the sparrows talons... they wait for us to scatter.
hot you kiss my dampness, damper.
hot you kiss my pain and sorrow. boiling all the past good voyage.
our fence has lost some posts as,
the children love to climb and kick
it will hold on, still.
but it won't hold-out and won't hold-in which is what fences are meant to do.
at least they should... they should choose.
Autumn, yes it's autumn ours. We are autumn lovers
with leaves of the book skittering beneath the empty slide.
We are autumn, smell like the burning leaves of who we were.
Smelling like the fresh cut wood, ready to have her rings counted
Autumn lover, hold my hand and tell me you are afraid.
Autumn lover, holding color golden like a circle round.
Hurry, before she blows me past the red fence,
Hurry before our secrets get caught by the wind and dance around the playground.
Hurry Autumn lover,
Hurry to remember that you loved me, once.*
Shannon April Alice
11/2/14
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014 at 2:57 AM UTC
Another numbered summer, over
plans packed away
watches wound
boots back on pavements
lawns forgotten
And the sun apologises
as it rises too late
and the cackling wind
reclaims his domain with a flourish.
Have a good day, boys -
see you at teatime.
Aug 30, 2011
Aug 30, 2011 at 7:10 AM UTC
.
Collecting the years like a lazy butterfly
caught in the mouth of a lost time infested net.
Columbian Crush!
Where it never rains love nor money. ***** clothes,
***** hands, and
***** minds fill man's hole. Singing shotgun,
bottom feeder's cameras sling the dirt
and shoot the moon.
Wild childrens' vines still swing.
Will anyone here be voting next Thursday?
Remind me why time was killed,
so brutally gunned down in broad daylight.
He apologises as he secretly scratches her name
from his little black book.
Bartender,
another shot of Columbian Crush
on the rocks...
Mar 10, 2010
Mar 10, 2010 at 9:18 PM UTC
city of love painted crimson but not
for the passion and hope but
for the blood staining the streets
in unworthy unbelonging abode.
and i'm sorry. there is a place inside
me that aches and screams and yearns
and apologises.
those who committed these acts of
****** are not muslims as they so
proudly call themselves, there is only
one word for this type of man and it is
murderer.
Nov 14, 2015
Nov 14, 2015 at 3:51 PM UTC
Apologises not tendered as ego comes in, Makes me weak when I think, Nothing wrong but I feel guilt comes ,Why the question delivers me to do, Thoughts erupt in the storm why the things happen so. Now at once I feel I wont be weak if the apology plead guilt, Nothing wrong in you but the egos clash in the mind .
Why me why me asks the mind ,Not so far in the life moves the memories, The dark side of night Slowly the things move on without making a change Again I am weak to as the apology will come from me Every time I repent on making me feel like in it. I give a chance to myself to see the truth but again the shortness of life comes in the mind.my apology it ,reflection is my mind the shortcomings in life, sorry I say again to me ,who makes me weak, the question comes again why me why me, thunder the storm ends with peace, memories those make me weak. Lets walk says the way comes the hurdle in between myself and me. Apologies not tendered as ego comes in.
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 5, 2012 at 11:08 AM UTC
Apologises not tendered as ego comes in, Makes me weak when I think, Nothing wrong but I feel guilt comes ,Why the question delivers me to do, Thoughts erupt in the storm why the things happen so. Now at once I feel I wont be weak if the apology plead guilt, Nothing wrong in you but the egos clash in the mind .
Why me why me asks the mind ,Not so far in the life moves the memories, The dark side of night Slowly the things move on without making a change Again I am weak to as the apology will come from me Every time I repent on making me feel like in it. I give a chance to myself to see the truth but again the shortness of life comes in the mind.my apology it ,reflection is my mind the shortcomings in life, sorry I say again to me ,who makes me weak, the question comes again why me why me, thunder the storm ends with peace, memories those make me weak. Lets walk says the way comes the hurdle in between myself and me. Apologies not tendered as ego comes in.
Sep 5, 2012
Sep 5, 2012 at 11:08 AM UTC
In a relaxed mood,
I decide to walk around the hood,
I come across a handsome looking dude,
And I'm like whoa!his lips seem tasty haha almost like my favorite food,
He says hi to me in a flirty tone then apologises just incase he sounded rude,
He got my number and hopefully that's a prelude..
Jun 7, 2015
Jun 7, 2015 at 3:20 PM UTC
The Sun was late today,
Claims she was stuck in traffic,
Surrounded by clouds that
Would not give way.
She apologises nonetheless,
For any inconvenience caused
The delays and/or distress.
I suspect she simply overslept.
Based on the smell of ethanol,
Cigarettes upon the breath.
Half popped packs of paracetamol
Left discarded on the desk.
The good mornings softly spoken
That shows the will is bent,
Not broken.
Ignoring token take out coffee
Cups of renewable confessions.
It's quite the sight to see,
The one that's always early
Arriving this time dishevelled,
Disoriented, unsettled.
She stumbles through yawns
Stretching out the groans of dawn.
Still she manages a smile.
So the world begins to brighten
At least for a little while.
Jan 23, 2024
Jan 23, 2024 at 9:13 AM UTC
There is that failure of communication,
At least of that soft civilized kind, the
Type that doesn’t involve blackened eyes
And broken teeth and bruises like fallen
Apples. She tries to hide her face behind
Her scarf, pulls up the collar of her coat
To conceal the bruises to her throat, pulls
The sleeves down to cover up discoloured
Arms and long skirts to mask the beaten
Thighs from her neighbours prying eyes.
He is full of jackshit and self-pity and
Mopes and sulks and blames her for the
Messy house, the kids crying, the bills high,
His fists flying. Unconditional love is the
Only real love, her mother said, lecturing
To her on her wedding eve, pushing the
Rosary beads between fingers and thumb.
Nights he doesn’t come home are best, she
Can sleep and unwind and rest. Even the kids
Can feel the peaceful air when he isn’t there.
His apologises are fake notes, they bring her
Nothing, reveal nothing, cast false hopes like
Wasted seeds, open up the pretending dreams
That life is always better than it is or seems.
Nov 12, 2013
Nov 12, 2013 at 3:21 PM UTC
A great, imposing figure,
Casting a shadow over the land,
As it reaches to the heavenly sky,
And its rumbles are felt like the rhythm of a band,
Its angry colours dancing like petals in the wind,
Deep orange and flaming red,
Black fire valleys giving predatory heat,
People stand in awe or tremble in their beds,
Devastation is caused and the sky is clouded,
As the rivers of fear flow nearer, so near,
See the birds fly high and away from the ominous glow,
As Mother Nature apologises and sheds a silent tear.
Aug 28, 2012
Aug 28, 2012 at 6:24 AM UTC
8 years old
We're told "you're too young to unlearn how to smile and hate the world"
8 years from now on
You'll forget the art of care freeness
and little girls
So 6 young hearts
Kick start
And venture into
A labyrinth
Of question marks
Mischievous
Wide-eyed
We had nothing to hide
Our smiles were bonafide...
We dreamed of superpowers
Meteor showers
Climbing towers
Magic, meremaids
Flying ships
And finding home
In our unlock golden coffer
All we had was love to offer
A currency that once was just enough....
Guess we grew up
Theses days
We've ceased
To give
A frail and feeble ****
We've got new better plans
Crystal clear
Each year
Since June of 2010
We've grown cavalier
And bland
We used to dance in rainstorms
Fight our battles, win the whole world
We spoke in flames
And held hands while we burn
Now all we ever do is *****
Apathy, we mop it
With apologises
I'm sorry's
I worry..... I worry,
We grew up
Things have changed
And minds have aged
We're so far in this infeasible maze
When did black and white decide
To propagate
Cause everything now seems so.... Gray
We've forgotten the beats of our own drums
We've lost touch in tunes we used to hum
We smell of sin
And no longer bubblegum
Our season is yet to come
We're houses with water stained walls
We're standing
But no longer tall
When did we stop having a ball, I don't recall
I don't re-call
Here... We are
So far
We've walked a lonely road
We're like nomads finding home
But some-where far inside
The 8 year old resides
Whispering "you'll be alright"
So let us live
Let live
Forgive and hope we don't
Fail the souls we used to know
Let's walk each other home
Little souls please don't let go
The unknown is ours to roam
Our little souls will walks us
Home
Sep 11, 2016
Sep 11, 2016 at 2:19 PM UTC
I often find myself looking at my skin and I think about you,, I think about so many things like the way you made it feel with words - but also with your body. About how you made me feel comfortable in it and how sometimes I wanted to peel myself out of it because it was never going to be enough for you and Im sorry about that I wanted to be better but I couldn’t and now we’re over and I’m sorry.
I know you always hated apologises and this isn’t one and it ought to be and I’m sorry its not\\
earlier in the morning light that either renews me or ruins me I wrote something on myself for you, I’m not sure why I inscribed it on my body that you will never touch again both because why would you want to and I wouldn’t let you, but I did, so, you should know (more because I can’t stand keeping it to myself when its meant for you)
My heart (scar) doesn’t need (scar) you.
You never helped it
bloom. Now I’m stuck
scrawling (bruise) stories on my skin to cover scars
that I made, but you left.
everything sounds pretentious when you read over it especially when its written in ink on such an ugly canvas and I’m sorry. I miss you even though you don’t feel the same.
//ale a
Apr 3, 2014
Apr 3, 2014 at 5:47 AM UTC
These days ‘I love you’ sounds different.
It hides in the good morning texts with
a sleepy smile and asks me to eat on time.
It holds my hand tightly when
I am nervous and shaking, to
tell me that I am bigger than my fears.
There it lurks behind all those
times when my feelings and thoughts are
understood and acknowledged without judgement.
It remembers the biggest of my worries,
celebrates the smallest of my wins too
and is with me in every prayer offered in my name.
Through all the pain and sadness, it wipes my
tears promptly and lets me know that I am not
alone and that we will go through this together.
It disguises as another three words I
need to hear whenever my spirits are low
and whispers in a firm voice, “you are enough!”
To me that wasn’t so apparent.
So it comes again in the noon and leaves
a reminder to drink some water soon.
It breathes life into the countless promises
made to stand by me no matter what and
daily mentions without fail that I’m not naught.
Then it suddenly takes me into its arms and
like the mighty sun on a chilly winter day, spreads
the kind of warmth that I have always craved for.
It walks next to me, slowly, like my shadow
and says I have to believe in myself more
than anything else, even when there is no hope.
Time and again it surfaces in the form of
honesty and truth, builds trust and confidence
between us and holds our world from falling apart.
It sits in front of me and apologises for everything
done wrong, works on what could have been right
and strives to be better with every passing day.
These days ‘I love you’ sounds different.
Everyday it returns home in the night
and chides me to go to bed early.
It will always be more than just those three
words and from now on, I will pay attention
and show how grateful I am that it exists.
Feb 18, 2020
Feb 18, 2020 at 3:10 PM UTC
A girl has bright eyes, smooth thighs and a perky disguise.
She's been shy and never made much of a try but no word of a lie she loved a man long before she was of age to die.
A girl had long hair with tints of blue.
She wore a dress a man couldn't nearly see through but a man needed no clue as to what lay under the zip he desired so badly to undo.
A man was nothing special.
He in no way had it all.
Dark hair and he stood six feet tall but when it came to a girl he would repeatedly stall.
Never sure what to say should he pluck up the courage and call.
A girl knew she was under the view of a man.
It wasn't entirely new but this strange sensation grew as if she just now felt it too.
Not sure what to do when a man leaned in she withdrew.
A girl began to cry upon the sight of his failed try.
In the midst of confusion a solution arrived when she spied the edge of a knife and a vein which so diligently pumped her life.
A man kissed a girl in a Christmas ball, drunk as high hell and stumbling though he didn't fall.
She whispered "I love you too" only half way through removing her shoe when a man lifted her against the wall, too eager to merely watch the remainder of the clothing removal.
A girl was surprised by a man's advance.
She often scried a future in which a knot had been tied.
A man treated her as a precious doll, protecting her from the demon's who'd call.
A girl enjoyed this time and began to find she could unwind, however, the knife and a vision of a man's advance kept clinging to her mind.
Only a few weeks later a man lies with a girl.
A girl begins to cry.
A man apologises.
A man and a girl remain together.
A man loves a girl.
A girl loves a man.
And a girl is suicidally sad.
Jun 8, 2014
Jun 8, 2014 at 8:30 PM UTC
Midnight apologises, but it has to arrive
some of us die
some will realise that to survive is not the be all of the end all.
Meanwhile the charity ball and the tickets sold
fold under the midnight sky.
I never know and I never know why
these things occur to me as time padded and passes me by.
It could be fantasy for a fool has many of those?
close one door another appears as you blink through the tears that flow,
do you care for any of this?
did the stars burn that kiss on your lips and pretend to be me?
six points
I have an untied galaxy destroying me
turning me into dust on the shelf.
And I'm punching my weight against time.
Any difference is only a difference or diffidence that you see
I am and have been sadly or not me.
I don't apologise
midnight shines not
in my eyes
I see
only
the summer.
May 28, 2016
May 28, 2016 at 1:26 PM UTC
It all started when I was a little girl.
I trusted everyone execpt the strangers that my mom would warn me about.
But when you walked in you were never stranger I knew you she did too.
But you turned into a monster.
Confused I was left how the hell does a person you supposed to trust end up doing what your mom said the "strangers" would do.
One of this days I remember sitting in my room listening to music you got in closed and I heard I ran to take your bag realised something in your face it changed it was like you were something else.
It was funny cause her faced changed too my mom.
Confused but ignored it took the bag and went back to my room.
Three minutes after she screams
I ran out to see I so you hitting her kicking as you kicked I so crying.
As she stood up she smiled and said don't worry my girl go back to you room.
Confused I went back to my room.
But I was sitting it all made sense he spit words I hear them she spit I hear them.
She asks he anwers but everytime he does he says thing that are unbearable and she apologises for him.
I thought it was crazy.
Days and days passed he did everyday hit her her skin was torn she looked like a woman that never looked beautiful.
I remember crying so much I started to cry but I didn't wanna show her.
And one day he decides to leave without a reason.
He left us
Broken
Wreked
Hateful
Angry
Sad
Paranoid
He ruined me ...
Know I'm scared to trust anyone since my "friend" became monster
Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 2:21 PM UTC
You were angry when you turned on your heel.
The fight was over and you were walking away.
It was just then she called out for you to "wait!",
One single thing you never expected she'd say.
You dare not face her,
Just in case she sees,
The tears that are swelling in your eyes,
And the shake that possesses your knees.
She opens up and she admits
How your last words cut her deep.
She thinks of how you want no more than friendship,
Each night while she cannot sleep.
She apologises repeatedly,
The words pour straight out from her heart.
She regrets the way that she left you,
And wishes ye had not grown apart.
Anger fills up fast inside you,
And makes it's way right to your mouth.
You ask her why she won't just let go.
She's taken aback by your shout.
Then, just as a child would,
She mumbles when she says:
It was fear that made her leave you,
And she'll regret it for the rest of her days.
You find this preposterous!
Why on Earth would she be scared?
"When" and "why" you then ask her,
And that's when she confesses she cared.
She wanted more than what you were to her.
She was searching for a soul mate,
Who would stand by her forever,
And face with her, her fate.
Your face changes when she says how
It was not a mutual thought.
You wanted nothing that she did,
And this hurt a lot.
So she explains how she left you,
Just before it was too late,
And adds that she is sorry
She has made such a state.
You are reluctant to believe her;
For how could her words be true?
She fell right into another's arms,
The second she left you!
And you speak of this disbelief,
You display all the anger you feel.
You empty your heart of it's agony,
As it's a wound you can no longer seal.
It's then she tells you she was foolish,
She believed these were feelings she could grow.
But this was a void that could not be filled by just anyone,
And there's something you must know.
As ye lock eyes for a single moment,
You cannot believe the words she has just said.
"I was wrong" she admits into the silence..
Or was that all just in your head?
Sep 1, 2016
Sep 1, 2016 at 4:42 PM UTC
I've been rabbiting on...
What were you going to say...?
Ah, huh...
Interesting...
Is that so...?
Well, I never!
Oh, my!
Really? That's magnificent! Awesome!
You don't say?!?
My apologises --> I spaced out --> You were saying...?
Bonus After-thoughts -->
Your Voice -->
I don't really care what you say,
I just love your Accent!
Fancy...a chat sometime?
No promises -->
If not now...later?
Mar 4, 2014
Mar 4, 2014 at 3:06 AM UTC
She called last night
After months of radio silence
The first ring
Why? why was she calling?
Did she need anything?
that's why she'd usually called earlier
Did she even deserve my help?
She was the one who stopped
Stopped talking stopped calling stopped sharing
Nothing. just nothing.
like I was nothing
like we'd been nothing
The second ring
Why the hell was she calling?
how dare she?
I should just pick up and scream my head off
hurt her with my voice as much as she hurt me with her silence
or I just shouldn't pick up at all
the third ring
What's the whole point?
She'll listen to my rant with manufactured concern
and when I have bled everything out
when my bones have been robbed of the anger that galvanised them
she'll crumble these bones to dust
with a 'sorry'
and it will start all over again
the fourth ring
Maybe it could start again
once she apologises, we can talk
I won't be emotional, I promise
I will be cool, more detached
it's just fun to talk to her
I just won't have any expectations
the fifth ring
It could work this time..
I mean, this plan didn't work the last time she came back
Or the time before that when she returned
Ugh maybe I should just let it ring.
the sixth ring
You know what I'll pick it up
I can do this
I'll just find what she wants
It'll be okay
*My hands reach out, trembling
About to click on that green button
And the phone stops ringing.*
Mar 27, 2017
Mar 27, 2017 at 2:10 PM UTC
She lines herself before me, eyes halting her gait like a rod rid of bait
Trotting her feet again in my way, not perturbed or frightened by me
The churning distress tongues speak about us on the whiteboard each week
Is finally bringing us together, her delicate neck craned cock-eyed
Tip-toe though your feet are crashing, and all pretense of slicing your eyes at me is mashing
But I play her game and look up at the ceiling, red blouse she's got on like honey
Her body pours over, spilling a little as her foot twitches too far and she jabs my leg accidentally hard
I'm forced to look over, that cunning smile done up like hair, you
I meet her, she smiles, she apologises, I smile and nod, saying it's ok, because it is for a while
But when she glides on by I'm angry that her mistake wasn't falling into my useful lap
Like wardrums, that sound, footsteps echoing deep bass-like from the ground
And soaking my skin in flannel bravery and horror at what I can see
Her walking away from me, until next week, the dancing meek kittens
Ashamed to make mouths say what eyes can only guess at
'Hello, how are you, would you like to know my name?'
'Not really for I learnt it long ago, but tell me just the same'
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 3:01 PM UTC
Fling wide the curtains
kettle on and set the table
open the door in welcome
spring is just around the corner
she apologises for being late
winter kept her talking
Apr 3, 2024
Apr 3, 2024 at 6:09 PM UTC
You are the first person
Who hasn't yelled back
Who actually wants to know
Who apologises
Who doesn't start anything
You are the only reason why
I yell and scream
I tell stupid stories
I am sassy beyond all believe
I get us in trouble
And that's why
your not my first
But you'll be my only
Jun 21, 2015
Jun 21, 2015 at 1:55 AM UTC