You said you would never call me names                                                    
       ­                                                                 ­                                              
But you lied & now nothing is the same                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
If you hit me, it would be less pain                                                             ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                               
 Love is replaced: resentment has remained                                                         ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
 I remember when you loved me much more                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
And now you don't love me anymore                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
We live together, yet we live apart                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
  Our hatred has changed our hearts                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
  We'll never go back to what we had                                                              ­                                                                
                                                                ­                                                  
All the good in you has changed to bad                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
  I can't be who you expect me to be                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                            
   You've ****** the light right out of me                                                               ­                                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
   I won't try to hold on to you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
   Make my heart numb. not be a fool                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
    It won't help to say that you're sorry                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                  
    You meant what you said, no apology                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
    I guess I needed to hear a moment of honesty                                                
                                                                ­                                                
    Even if was peppered & haughty                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
   I won't say that you didn't tear me apart                                                            ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                           
   With your wandering eye, wandering heart

Pull my tongue out of my mouth,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
  use a spoon & hollow me out,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
  take off a chunk of my skin,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
  it's okay, there's life within                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
Pluck my eyes from my face,                                                            ­                                                  
I don't want to see the human race,                                                    
                                                                ­                                              
remove my fingers from my hand,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
you don't need to understand                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                 
 Cut my heart from my chest,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
I guarantee I won't contest                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
Go ahead & pick my brain,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you will see nothing
remains,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
Go ahead, you will see,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
you will find an empty me

I took a knife & cut the
vine                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
that tethered me to
you                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                
No longer mine & that's just
fine,                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                             
   I consider myself
rescued                                                          ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
  I'm happy to see you missing
me,                                                              ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­               
  because I'm not missing
you                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                        
  Predictably, it's clear to
see                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                              
  without me you couldn't
  do                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                              
  While under your care I didn't
thrive                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
 you starved me of your love                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
It made me know &realize                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ you would never grow up                                                               ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I now have reclaimed my
energy                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
it has grown &
bloomed                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
A bouquet of positivity                                                       ­                               
                                                                 ­                                                 
  and a life that is brand new

Get your knee off of my neck                                                             ­                                                                 ­                
Take your foot off of my chest                                                            ­                
 You used to say I was the best                                                             ­               
You fill my heart up with regret                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
You build me up to bring me down                                                             ­                                                
I do better when you're not around                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
You want me 6 feet underground                                                      ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Prefer me not to make a sound                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                    
At one time, those big dark eyes,                                                            ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                       
made me feel safe inside                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                  
but there was hatred brewing there                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                              
  exposed by your cold, blank stares                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
  Y­ou are not who you used to be                                        
                                                                ­                                  
  Sometimes, I think you'll **** me                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
I think you have a monster inside                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                
That you wish you could still hide                                                             ­                                         
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
I no longer feel love for you                                                              ­                                                                 ­         
                                                                ­                                                      
  I only stay because of what you'll do                                                               ­                                                                 ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
  I'm too scared to run away                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
I know that will fan the flames                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
The thrill of the hunt in you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                                
will give you any **** excuse                                                           ­           
                                                                ­                                                    
  To give me what you think I need                                                             ­                                                                 ­
  A lesson you're sure that I'll heed

How quickly life passes us by                                                         
  That we often don't enjoy the ride                                                        
   Always wishing our days away                                                            
   Like we are assured another day                                                    
  Days turn into months, then
  years                                                         ­                         
And just like that we disappear                                                    
While loved ones go through all our stuff                           
Holding onto trinkets we held dear  by us      
Every once in a while, our name comes up                                         
A memory , a life , a loss of love.

Words haunt me,                                                              ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                          
forming
unprovoked,                                                      ­                                        
                                                                ­                                            
growing inside   me,                                                              ­                                                              
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
stuck in my
throat                                                           ­                                               
                                                                ­                                              
Keeps me up
nightly,                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                      
sometimes I must
write,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
can't take it
lightly,                                                         ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                    
till I make it right                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                
Pushing,
evolving,                                                        ­                                          
                                                                ­                                        
thoughts in my
head,                                                            ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                           
puzzle solving,                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­  
writing in my
bed                                                              ­                                        
                                                                ­                                          
Causing
anxiety                                                          ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                             
if I don't get it out                                                              ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
It stays in my
memory                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
and jumbles about                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­     
Finally, the ******,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I've got it all down,                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                           
 as I try to go
  back,                                                         ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                          
to sleep safe &
sound                                                            ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
Like a leaky
faucet,                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
it comes back
on,                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
I've had
enough,                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I write until dawn

You didn't confess when confronted with your lies,                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
how quickly I regret ever letting you in my life                                      
                      ­                                                                 ­                               
  You think you were so smart, leading me along,                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
an actor playing a part, convincing me I'm wrong                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
Making me think it's me being paranoid,                                            
           ­                                                                 ­                                         
since then, I am done, it's you I now avoid                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So now, you say that you are missing me,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                        
  like that will somehow change my mind,                                              
                                                                ­                                                
I think it is time for you to see,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
these eyes of mine aren't blind                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                              
You are telling all our friends,                                                         ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
you don't know what you did,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                             
when will all your lying end?                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You­ treated me like ****                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
  It isn't up to me to tell                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­  
everyone my side                                                             ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                     
 You just wait, you'll see                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
the truth you can't hide

It is a cool summer night,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­
fireflies are in flight,                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  stars like fireworks so bright,                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                               
    mosquitos with hearty appetites                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
There's a slight breeze around,                                                          ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
a moist dew on the ground                                                           ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                      
A bonfire & cold beer,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
I'm wishing you were here                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­      
Kids playing with flashlights,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                          
all camping out till daylight,                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
wading­ pools filled with grass,                                                           ­                                                   
                                                                ­                                                  
  the day faded so fast                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                              
Marshmallows are grilling,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                        
everyone is chilling                                                         ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­              
It's a perfect summer night,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                      
  everything is just right

You say you are ready to talk,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
after I tell you I'm gonna walk                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
Tired of the procrastination,                                                 ­                                             
 you bring to every situation                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                         
I hear your silence out loud                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                              
I'm the only one in the crowd                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
who's always picking up the pieces,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                        
whenever your attention ceases                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                 
This is the same thing, different day,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you don't know what to do or say                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
and when you speak you tell me
  lies,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                     
 so many reasons that you can't  
  try                                                    ­            
                                                                ­                                                        
I have heard all of this before ,                                                                ­                      
about how you will be there
more                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
Your love has filled my heart with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
you have nothing I can't live
without                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
I really can't take on another
bout                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
  of surviving your nuclear
fallouts

The man I loved didn't love me                                                                        ­                                                
 He told me I was unworthy                                                         ­            
                                                                       ­                                            
Called me names, that I won't say                                                                         ­                                
Made my life hell everyday                                                                      ­                                                 
His whole goal was to break me down                                                                               ­                                              
Make insults with others around                                                           ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                                
  I took it & swallowed my pride                                                                       ­                                              
Went along on a hell of a ride                                                             ­                                       
Telling myself If still loved you     
                                                        ­                        
 You would really love me too                                                             
        
Now I know there's nothing I can do                                                                     ­                                             
There is no fixing you

You & I have disconnected,                                                    ­                                  
somewhere along the way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                  
 I've been feeling neglected                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
more with every passing
day                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
  If I ever asked you to
go,                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  would you ask me to
stay,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
  and even if I had said
no,                                                              ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
   would you stay
anyway?                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
   If I thought you
cared,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you loved
me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­       
   the house that we
shared,                                                          ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't feel so
  lonely                                                        ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                     
    If I believed you would try,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
    if I knew you'd be there,                                                           ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                      
     then my crying eyes,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                        
    wouldn't have this cold stare                                                            ­                                                                 ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
    I have done more than my part,                                                            ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
    I've stepped up to the plate                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
   and now my once loving heart,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
   ­ is only filled with hate

Not so very long ago,                                                             ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                                    
I tried hard to let you know,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
that you played a part,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
in creating hate in my heart                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
I wanted you to pay,                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
every single **** day                                                              ­                        
                                                                ­                                                  
but while I punished you,                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
I was punishing me too                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                      
It took all my strength,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                      
to hurt you at great lengths                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I wanted to see you cry,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
you knew the reasons why                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                        
I wanted you to break,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
yearned to tie you to the stake,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
to watch you hurt and bleed,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
just like you did to me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Now you are old & gray                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                             and I too have also aged,                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                                        
I heard you are alone,                                                           ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                                 ­    feeling bad for what you've done                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
As stubborn as can be,                                                              ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
you won't say you're sorry to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
but as I have grown up,                                                              ­                                
                                                                ­                                                          
I feel you've paid enough                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
So, I'll be the bigger person                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and tell you're forgiven,                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                                    
as much for you as for me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I will say I'm sorry

Here I am feeling your pain,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                      
that you've afflicted over & over again,                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I'd like to give you some of the same,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
but sadly, some love still remains                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­           
Claim you do it 'cause you love me
so                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                               
But all that your love is letting me know,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                                
is you love yourself way more than me                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
That you can only fulfill your needs                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                      
They say time is a good remedy,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­ 
but there's not enough time for healing me                                                          
    ­                                                                 ­                                               
So here I am, I am letting go,                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
of the only love I have ever known,                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
where I'll end up, you'll never know,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                          
because if I stay, I will never grow

I've been running around trying to change                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                              
   but found one mold doesn't always fit                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                
There's not a lot I can do about being strange                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­       
it is what it is & that is this,                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I may not have the typical family,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm not ashamed of being me,                                                              ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
there's no reason for trying to be,                                                              ­              
                                                  ­                                                          
someone else other than me                                                               ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
I might not share your point of view,                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                    
that's because I'm me, not you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­  
If we were to act exactly the same,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
we may as well all have the same name                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You­ might not like how I carry myself                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                               
but I don't want to be like everyone
else                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I like the differences I see in me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                                      
I am not a clone or a wanna
be                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                         
You can point at me in judgement,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­            
pretend you are heaven sent                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
But I know I have common sense,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                             
I don't want to live a life as someone I resent

Someone asked me what I do well,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                          
I didn't know and couldn't tell                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                                 ­  
Never really thought about that,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­         
I had always worn the same hat                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  Decided I should go find out,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
  who I am, what am I about?                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                    
  Set out on a journey to see,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  my aspirations, my realities,                                                       ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                
  Found out I liked to write,                                                           ­                               
                                                                ­                                          
couldn't turn it off at night                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
Pen to paper opened in me,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
a hidden talent, an ability                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                            
Bought a journal & set down,                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
it became therapeutic, I found                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                        
Couldn't get words out fast enough,                                                          ­    
                                                                ­                                                  
I felt self-conscious opening up                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Now keeping it in hurts me more,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                    
so many stories behind these doors                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                
Now it's second nature to me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
to be starting journal twenty-three                                                     ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
Feels so good, just to breathe,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
  to get all of this out of me

My hands are not steady,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                               and weights are on my heart                                                            ­                   my shoulders feel heavy,                                                                                  and I am falling apart                                                            ­                                 I don't know you anymore,                                                         ­                        You are a stranger to me,                                                              ­                     What are we talking for?                                                             ­                                                 You're not even listening

I deeply exhaled and I let you go,                                                              ­                                       
an inner peace I've never known                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
no reflex at all, going loose,                                                           ­                                       
                                                                ­                                              
      doing exactly what I choose                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
 Relaxing for the first time,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
releasing pain in my mind                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­
  Melting while I float away,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                              
  living my life, my own way                                                              ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                     
  I'm letting go of me and you too,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's something that I needed to do                                                        
      ­                                                                 ­                                 
  Thinking of only myself,                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                  
  putting me before everyone else                                                  
                                                                ­                                          
  Foreign but delectable,                                                      ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
feeling free and unpredictable                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I close my eyes & sleep so deep,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
  a well-deserved dreamless sleep                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
  My mind is clear, my heart is
light                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
My spirit soars like a bird in
flight                                                           ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                            
By letting go of me and you                                                              ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                       
  it was the best thing I could do

You look but you don't see,                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­            
the inner beauty in
me                                                               ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
So caught up on
physicality's                                                    ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
and your shallow
personality                                                      ­                              
                                                                ­                                                           Have you ever looked at
  yourself,                                                     ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                
you're no better than anyone
else                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                   
You are so cocky & self-
   assured                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
but can't say an intelligent
word                                                             ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
  I am so glad that I'm not
you,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­         
   at least I know what's the
truth                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
Thinking you're some kind of
sleuth,                                                        
                                                                ­                                            
searching for the fountain of
youth                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
  Do you really think those young girls,                                                  
        ­                                                                 ­                                      
 want to be a part of your sad
world?                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
   You can't love anyone but
  yourself                                                      ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
 You can't connect with anyone
  else                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­               
  A world where women are objects & no
  opinions,                                                     ­                   
                                                                ­                                              
  where men speak loud & make all the
  decisions,                                              
     ­                                                                 ­                                        
  where men sit high on their thrones as
  kings,                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
a place where women don't do any
  speaking,                                                     ­                               
                                                                ­                                              
where what you say goes, or else                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                              
What women would surely call
hell                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
  Wel­l, I have an opinion, I have a
  say,                                                          ­                          
                                                                ­                                                        
I don't need your validation,
okay?                                                           ­                                                                 ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ I may not be the homecoming
queen                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                      
or a model on a movie
screen                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
but I am proud to have integrity                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ and morals that you're lacking                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
Go, live in your sad little
world,                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                
  have fun with a bevy of
  girls                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                       
  It won't last long, you will
  see,                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
 in the end they will be like me

You don't see things the way that I do,                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
that's what makes me, me and makes you, you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
I can see beauty in so many things,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
there are more gems than diamonds in those rings                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
Not every flower smells like a rose,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
  you can be in a picture and not have to pose                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
Every animal is not a purebred,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                            
actions are shown not in words that are said

Everyone's breaking off their pieces,                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­                                              
  leaving me broken & so empty                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
As long as they fulfill their needs                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
in the end who cares who bleeds?                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
­Tugging on the scraps of what's left                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                
pulling at the heart in my chest                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
They get their fill they leave the rest                                                        
                                                                ­                                                
finally feeling sated, I clean up their mess                                                          
  ­                                                                 ­                                                   
I thought that what I gave to them                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
would be returned to me in the end                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                          
Leaving me sick with my confusion                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                    
all I am is & disillusioned                                                    ­                              
                                                                ­                                              
Never give your love away
 you may need it yourself, someday

My heart looks like a crime scene,          
                                                                ­                                                        
   a victim of love bleeds profusely                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So many cuts inflicted on me,                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
your love has left it's print on me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Your weapon of words cut like a knife,                                          
                                                                ­                                              
causing me pain, threatening my life,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
only held together with caution tape,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
sealed with lies & bitter hate                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
Hit & run, I am left dealing.                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
with a heart that has no feeling                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
You are guilty, the jury is in                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
may you burn with others condemned

You pass your judgement off onto me,                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
with strategic, hurtful whisperings                                                      ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
You even believe your own lies,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­ 
think you're a master of disguise                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
You don't even care if it's right,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
   I brought my truth to a knife
fight                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Your only goal is to win the game,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  where I am expected to take the
  blame.                                                        ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  A game where no one will really
  win,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                    
  so, I am cashing all my chips
  in                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­     
   I am no longer filled with
doubt,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
so go ahead and call me
out                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­
I think it's time I turn the
tides,                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
I am in your head, I am inside                                                          
                                                                ­                                           
   Ravaging your comfort zone,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
   leaving nothing but skin and
  bones                                                         ­             
                                                   ­                                               
  I'm now comfortable with your
  insecurities,                                                 ­                 
                                                                ­                                              
  taking the power from you and giving it to me

I want to shrivel up and blow
away                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
like a fallen leaf on an autumn
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                          
      a carefree dancer, waltzing in the
breeze                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                   
 form a pile on the ground, jump in
  me,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
  feel the rainfall wash over me                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  then bask in the sunlight, so
  colorfully                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to melt into the damp dark
earth                                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
 to be born again when Spring gives birth

I want to float like a dandelion
seed,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                       
  carried off by wind on a summer
breeze,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
flying over grass, dipping past the
trees                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                    
The weightlessness of nature's
fairies                                                          ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Hitch a ride on a high-flying
kite,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
soar to the Heavens & out of
sight,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
crash into the ground, melt into the
earth                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
Let the rain take me to my
rebirth                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                           
  When summer comes, I will
  thrive                                                        ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                   
then break into the wind & come alive

You can't stop me from dreaming,                                                        ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­                    you can't stop me from reaching                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I may be an over achiever,                                                        ­                            
                                                                ­                                                        
it's because I'm a believer                                                         ­                               
                                                                ­                                                          
I trust in no one but myself,                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­         
can't depend on no one else                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll climb the mountain and not fall,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                          
conquer and break down every wall                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll hold my head up with pride,                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
  with confidence in every stride                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                              
  Proud of every step I take,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
  be sure of every move I make                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The master of my own destiny,                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
I'll be whoever I want to be

You are here right here with me,                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
looking through, not at me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
We are suffering quietly,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                                 so much is said, silently                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
The TV plays way too loud                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
You stomp your feet too proud                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                
  Neither of us is willing to do,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                
what's needed to get us through                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You give me an icy glare,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                     
interrupting my focused stare,                                                           ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                  
slapping me into reality                                                          ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
of how bad it is between you &me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
  The washer machine in the background,                                                      ­
                                                                ­                                              
   cleans up dirt without a sound                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
   But you & I can't get
by,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
   our dirt gets materialized                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                            
   Behind the walls we are seen,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
as a couple whose grass is green                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  While eating our dinner we fall apart.                                                           ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
  as we eat the other's hearts                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                 
 The fence is white & the flowers bloom.                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
as we explode in the living room                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The pictures hung so perfectly,                                                       ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
like we once used to be

You have made it so loud & clear,                                                           ­                                             
   that my efforts are not wanted
  here                                                          ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
  I've given you more than I
received,                                                        ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
hoping you'd give me what I need                                                                     ­                                                       
I blame myself for loving
   you,                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
for tolerating all of your
abuse                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                            
 Keeping your secrets to keep
  you,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                              
made me equally as wrong as
you                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
  I can't even say that you used
  me,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                        
I gave of myself so
eagerly                                                          ­                        
                                                                ­                                                
Even when I felt you
distancing,                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
I gave you all the time to be
free                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
So wrapped up in you, I didn't
see,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                   
that you were manipulating
me                                                               ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
Your happiness was my
priority,                                                        ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
even if it meant I got
nothing                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
They say you accept the
love                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
 you feel you are deserving
  of                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
  My eyes are open to who you
  are                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
  and that I have been living behind bars

I will bend but I will not
break,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­  
I have given more than I
take,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­     
I have fallen but got back
up,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                     
    paid my dues more than
enough                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
Have stood tall against the
storm,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
faced those who have done me
wrong,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
I've surprised even
myself,                                                          ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                 
walked through the fires of
hell                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                            
 You may ask me
  how,                                                          ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­               
I'm still strong even
now                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­         
I have one word to
say,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
God, helps me through each
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                  
  With him in my
  heart,                                                        ­                                                
                ­                                                                 ­                               
 each day's a new
start                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
  He gives me all I need,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                            
  healing me when I
  bleed                                                         ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I owe him everything,                                                      ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  I love the peace he brings                                                           ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
My inner strength is
him                                                              ­                      
                                                                ­                                                    
He loves me despite my sins.

I've been standing in the shadows watching others live,                                  
                         ­                                                                 ­                  
allowing them to take from me all I had to
give                                        
                                                                ­                                                
Saving nothing for myself, I'm an empty
soul,                                          
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
    I need to find a remedy to help make me
whole                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
 I was raised to give to anyone in need
                                                            ­   
  but I didn't realize that ''anyone'' was
  me                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                        
Thinking it was selfish to withhold my
love,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                      
allowed me to put everyone else above                                                  
                                                                ­                                            
  Trying to please others was something I 'd
  do                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  and I got satisfaction from loving
you                                                              ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  By the time I noticed, I was someone who,                                        
                                                                ­                                                            
  wa­s never taught to show myself that love too                                
                             ­                                                                 ­                    
  I've been standing in the shadows watching others
live,                                                
                                                                ­                                              
  giving more of myself than I had to give

She holds her hand over the flame,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                         
                                                                ­                                            
 trying to tolerate the pain                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
behind her someone calls her name,                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                        
in their attempt to make her refrain                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
She blinks back her hot tears,                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                     
 that she's held back for a thousand years                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
but it isn't the pain she fears                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                     
 and not from the voice she hears                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
In her mind she is not there,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
she's taken herself to somewhere,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­
  that she can escape & not care                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
from the reality she cannot bear                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                     
  running fast, she's broken free                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                    
  of all those painful memories                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
like a horse out of the gate                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
she runs from her growing fate                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
as a child, she was abused                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­      
as a teen, she was confused                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
a little girl who was used                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­
helped all that anger to fuse                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
into the girl whose name                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                      
  is being called again & again                                                            ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                       
so many people are to blame                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                    
for hurting the girl who seeks the flame

I can't keep giving away pieces of me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
to someone who regards them so
carelessly                                                       ­     
                                                                ­                                                
You've made me put up a protective
wall                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
because you don't deserve me at
all                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                              
I remember when our love was
carefree,                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
when I thought you really loved
me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
but I don't feel the same
today,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
since I've had to take my trust
away                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                             
Chances are you were always this way,                                        
                                                                ­                                            
putting yourself first every
day                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
I admit there were times I didn't
see,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you couldn't be mine
faithfully                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I felt if I just loved you
more,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                              
  you'd step up, make me feel
secure                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                
That didn't happen, so here we are,                                                          
                                                                ­                                          
together still but our hearts so far.

Take my heart, tear it in two,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
put it back when you are through                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are the best at what you do,                                                          
                                                                ­                                            
showing me, I am nothing to you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                
Knock me down, step over me,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you treat me with such cruelty                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
Punish me with severity                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
for just trying to be me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
Was there a time that you cared?                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Did I imagine what we shared?                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
My heart is filled with despair,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
the hole you've left is beyond repair

My heart weighs one hundred pounds,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
tethered by a chain that you drag around                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
  You­ have the power, you have the key                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­ My abductor, but I stay willingly

Just like a tapestry,                                                        ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                 
you are woven into
me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
Two bodies, one
heartbeat,                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
    I need you to feel complete                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                          
  Whenever we are
apart,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
you have a part of my
heart                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
   I could melt right into you                                         
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
be your personal tattoo

This is my voice,                                                           ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
pen & paper pain                                                             ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I've made the choice                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
to blot the stain                                                            ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                               
Band-Aid pulled off,                                                             ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                                  
let the wound bleed                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
Yes, it is
tough                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
but it's what I
need                                                             ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                              
I can't pretend                                                          ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                   
  that I am
  fine                                                          ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
so, I use my pen                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                    
 to speak my
  mind                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
Journal
everything,                                                      ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
getting it all
out                                                              ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­           
because doing
nothing                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
is a silent shout

Sometimes to transform you have to inspire yourself,                                                        ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
don't wait for it to come from someone else                                                             ­                                                  
 If it starts to hurt it means you are growing,                                    
                                                                ­                                                   
   when things start to turn your wisdom is showing                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                                
­  Give yourself the permission to
cry,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                           
  never give up you will succeed if you
try                                                              ­                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
The top of the hill seems far
away                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
but you will be able to conquer it someday                                                  
       ­                                                                 ­                                            
All of the mountains you have put in
place,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  will all be behind you when you win the race

She runs to catch up, he leads the way,                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sure that their love has seen better
days                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
It's probable that they'd always held
hands                                                      
                                                                ­                                                     
  while she made sure he felt like the
  man                                                           ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­   
  He'd hold the door open as she walked
  in,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­          
  now he runs ahead & she's left chasing
  him                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  They both sit at the diner with nothing to
say,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
he reads the dinner menu as she looks
away                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­          
What ever happened to how was your day?                                    
                        ­                                                                 ­                         
  The golden couple is now a dull
  gray                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
They eat in silence & when they are
through,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
he pays the bills without any
cues                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                
They leave the same way they walked
in,                                                              ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
he runs ahead & she is chasing him                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                        
Whatever happened to make them this way?                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
A couple with nothing left to say

I could think of one hundred ways,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­       
that I could say good-bye today                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
You're the best at what you do,                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                            
happy to break my heart in two                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
and every time you look at me,                                                              ­                  
                                                                ­                                                          
I think of who I wished you'd be                                                          
                                                                ­                                                
That guy who loved me so much                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
that you could never get enough                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
The man that I once looked up to,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
not this one who loves to abuse                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                          
Someone that I used to respect,                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
not demanding his needs be met                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
You bully me to see your views,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
then sit up all night to argue                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                            
Where you ever really that man,                                                             ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
the one that always kissed my
hand                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
You tell me that you still care,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
  why? because your still here?                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                          
When is the last time you said,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
I love you before going to bed                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                
Then I wonder even if you changed,                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
Could I even love you again?

I am going on a journey, I don't know where,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
I'll let you know the details, when I get there                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
You call it running away, I claim escape,                                                      
                                                                ­                                            
anything to put a smile back on my face                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
You call it self-indulging, I say it's a
need,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
this deep-rooted hunger that I have to feed                                                             ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                  
See, I have been trying to make myself believe                                  
                       ­                                                                 ­                          
that your sparse love is all that I need                                                
            ­                                                                 ­                                     
Now I've awakened, that doesn't satisify me                                                               ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
and I'm the only one who can make me happy                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
If my leaving hurts you, know I am sorry                                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  but I'm long overdue for this journey

Life doesn't get easier as you get
older,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
the world gets heavier on your
shoulders                                                      
                                                                ­                                          
Sometimes I feel the weight will crush
me,                                                              ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
this massive weight of responsibility                                                   ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Being the glue that holds everything,                                                      ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
can cause you to crack & fade with strain                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
Being all that others need you to be                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                         
doesn't leave much left for me                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Noone seems amazed that I don't fall apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
only I know how it breaks my heart                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
I never once hear a simple thank you,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
no act of kindness paid, no gratitude                                                        ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I don't even know how I don't fall down,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
  with no encouragement to be found                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  I hold my breath, and no one sees,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  they are busy fulfilling their needs                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
  No awards, no prize, they don't realize                                                          ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
  this glue is cracked, yellowed & dry

I'm loosening the reins,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­              
         I am letting go                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm living again,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                      
out of your shadow                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                          
I am coming up, 
                                                                ­                                                        
I have had enough
                                                                 ­                            
 This is not love,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
It's over for
us                                                               ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll push you away,                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
I'll close my heart                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
Today is the day,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I get a new
start                                                           ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
Today the sun will shine                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­                   
and be bright for me                                                               ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
   I 've found my inner light                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                            
  a healing energy

My heads in my hands, my hearts on the floor                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­   
    You don't understand, I can't take it no more                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
I can't keep giving to have you take it away                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
Are you listening? I am not going to stay                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                           
  I cannot trust you, you are so mendacious,                                                      ­        
                                                        ­                                                                 ­ 
I can't forgive your behavior, it's outrageous,    
                                                 ­                                                                 ­      
You say that you love me then hurt me so
bad,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                    
can you say honestly, you want what you have?                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                      
You make me forget what I ever loved in you,                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­   
You make me regret everything I've done for you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Why can't you just think and act before you do                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
  Your decisions stink, not everything's about you                                            
                                                                ­                                    
  Narcissistic and shallow, you only love yourself,                                                        ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
  So empty and hollow, you can go **** yourself,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                    
  as much as I love you, I hate you as well,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                              
There's nothing more to say or do except, Go to hell.

Aging is a process that takes you by surprise,                                                        ­
                                                                ­                                                      
  one day you see a reflection you don't  recognize                                                 ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­          
Wrinkles where once smooth skin used to be,                                      
                       ­                                                                 ­                              
  fine lines around your eyes you missed completely                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
No amounts of lotion will make it go away                                                             ­                                                     
           ­                                                                 ­                                       
  When did your body betray you, no
permission  gave                                                ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
Eyes once so vibrant have now begun to fade,                                                
                                                                ­                                                      
in them a faint glimmer of your glory days                                                             ­                                 
                               ­                                                                 ­                   
 No wonder they say. you're only as young as you
feel,                                                
           ­                                                                 ­                                      
You still feel young inside, this is so surreal                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                        
Then the aches & pains start to catch up to you,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
 is when you realize the damage the years can
  do                                    
                                                                 ­                                                   
So caught up in life before you get the
chance                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                      
 to be able to know you're a victim of
  circumstance                                              
   ­                                                                 ­                                                
  So, breathe in deeply, give into your
fate                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
and promise to enjoy living before it's too late

Here I stand before you,                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
heart shattered, ego bruised                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­          
  The accuser and the accused,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
all judgement coming from
you                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sorry I'm not able to be                                                               ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
the person you're
remembering                                                      ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
What I think I often speak,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
it doesn't make me fragile or
weak                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
As you stand here beside me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you still act high &
mighty                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
  Like you have the authority,                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
to question me so harshly                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­      
 If you get cut you still
  bleed,                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
   you are no different than me

I climbed up the mountain side,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
taking in the beautiful sights                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                          
Breathing in the fresh air so
high                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
until it totally filled me inside                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
While I inhaled so freely                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
of the mountain air so
deeply                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I felt I was taking in its
beauty                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
and the essence went through
me                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
I became a part of that
mountain,                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
pure energy flowing like a
fountain                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                    
 Filling me with its
serenity                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                                    
as a calmness washed over
me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                           
       Mother Nature, God &
  Heaven                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                          
working together times
seven                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
    Never have I felt such
    peace                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
the way God wants me to be

I see you smiling through your tears                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
   You still amaze me after all these years                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                              
                                                                ­                                                
Your strength helps me to believe                                                        
                                                                ­                                                   
   That all will be okay with me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
   In your eyes I see a glimpse of hope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
You are the only knot in a flimsy rope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
  An anchor buried in me so deep                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
holding me steady, firm on my feet                                                                        ­                                                      
I often wonder where I would I be                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
without you always supporting me                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
I admire every aspect of you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
You have always told me the truth                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                    
No secrets & nothing to hide                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
  So easy for me to confide                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                              
Na­turally beautiful in every way                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I love you more than I can say                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
You accept me just as I am                                                                  ­                                               
 Push me to be all that I
  can                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
You listen to me & you understand                                                       ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
I'll walk through life with you, hand in hand

You say, I don't pay attention,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                    
  I say, I don't have to listen,                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
   You say, I talk all the
time,                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                              
   I say, you never pay me no mind                                                             ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
  You say, I need sometime
  alone,                                                        ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                             
I say, you never call me on the phone,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I say, I think we need a break,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­       
   You say, I never give, I only
take,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I say, I'm not happy anymore,                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
You say, well, right there's the door,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I say, my final good-bye,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
You say, you never even tried

With his hands on his
ears,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
he tries not to
hear,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
as the voices cry
out,                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                      
in his head fear
sprouts                                                          ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                         
You can sense his
frustration,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                              
without knowing the
situation                                                       ­                                                                 ­
 You can see he's suffering
inside,                                                          ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
and it makes me want to
cry                                                              ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                
Teary eyes and a smile on his
face,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
he says that he feels out of place                                                            ­                                                                 ­   
 Urges me to want to pull him in                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                       
   try to give him strength
within                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                
Many years of pain, lived again &
again,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                   
as we both pray for it to go
away                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                        
knowing it has yet to
end                                                             ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
So fragile is he, yet as strong as can
be                                                               ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
   you want to love him eternally                                                        ­  
                                                              ­                                                
Sweet, gentle giant innocent as a
child                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                
  with a perfect disposition and a weary smile

You are back at my front door,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
the one you slammed the year before,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
with flowers and your, I love You's,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
like you believe that I still love you too                                                              ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
but all the words that you say,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
have lost their meaning along the
  way                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                     
Sorry, I know the real
truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
that she's broken up with
you,                                                            ­                                                             
so, you're checking in on number two,                                                             ­                                                                                                                    ­                                               
how many more have you gone
too?                                                            ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You aren't man enough to love
 anyone,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
 let alone us both, you're still a
 con                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
 Even if I was desperate, you wouldn't
  be                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
  someone I would take back
  willingly                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                 
 The year that I have been here
  alone,                                                        ­                                                                                  ­                                                       
  I have healed and I have
  grown,                                                        ­      
                                                          ­                                                           
  so, I suggest you go find number
  three,                                                        ­                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  inflict your twisted love on
  somebody                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
  I hope she figures you out from the
  start                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
  the­n turns around and breaks your heart