I want to shrivel up and blow
away                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                      
like a fallen leaf on an autumn
day                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                          
      a carefree dancer, waltzing in the
breeze                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                   
 form a pile on the ground, jump in
  me,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
  feel the rainfall wash over me                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
  then bask in the sunlight, so
  colorfully                                                    ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
I want to melt into the damp dark
earth                                                        
                                                                ­                                                     
 to be born again when Spring gives birth

Take my heart, tear it in two,                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
put it back when you are through                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
You are the best at what you do,                                                          
                                                                ­                                            
showing me, I am nothing to you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                
Knock me down, step over me,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
you treat me with such cruelty                                                          ­                      
                                                                ­                                                
Punish me with severity                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
for just trying to be me                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                             
Was there a time that you cared?                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                  
Did I imagine what we shared?                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
My heart is filled with despair,                                                         ­                 
                                                                ­                                                  
the hole you've left is beyond repair

You don't see things the way that I do,                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
that's what makes me, me and makes you, you                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                          
I can see beauty in so many things,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
there are more gems than diamonds in those rings                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                      
Not every flower smells like a rose,                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­         
  you can be in a picture and not have to pose                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
Every animal is not a purebred,                                                        ­                        
                                                                ­                                            
actions are shown not in words that are said

I climbed up the mountain side,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
taking in the beautiful sights                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                          
Breathing in the fresh air so
high                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
until it totally filled me inside                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
While I inhaled so freely                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
of the mountain air so
deeply                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                        
I felt I was taking in its
beauty                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
and the essence went through
me                                                               ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
I became a part of that
mountain,                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                                
pure energy flowing like a
fountain                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                    
 Filling me with its
serenity                                                         ­                         
                                                                ­                                                    
as a calmness washed over
me                                                               ­       
                                                                ­                                           
       Mother Nature, God &
  Heaven                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                          
working together times
seven                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
    Never have I felt such
    peace                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
the way God wants me to be

You deserve to feel heartbreak,                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
be forced to give, not take                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
I want you to feel devastation,                                                     ­               
                                                                ­                                                        
be put in awkward situations                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                      
You should endure deep pain,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
have it inflicted again & again                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
None of that will even come close,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
to what you gave me, what you chose                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                            
You should feel how it feels to cry,                                                            
                                                                ­                                          
wonder why I am not home at night,                                                        
  ­                                                                 ­                                               
ask yourself a million times, why?                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                                
  keep getting up to look outside                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
You need to walk a mile in my shoes,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                             
while my decisions cause you to lose                                                             ­ 
                                                                ­                                              
Have your heart shatter like glass,                                                           ­       
                                                         ­                                                               
  get no answers, but continue to ask                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                      
Screamed at by me while your frustration rises,                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
as I cover up truths with fake disguises,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                               
  look at you boldly while I am lying                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                            
This is what you have done to me,                                                    
                                                                ­                                                  
  this is the love that I have seen

It is so easy for you,                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                    
to crush my self-esteem                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                                   I wish I didn't love you,                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                              
because I know you don't love me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
You aren't who I thought,                                                         ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­              
I guess I've been blind,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                
bruises heal & I forget,                                                          ­                                         
                                                                ­                                                
 how it affected my mind                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                         
Being punished for the past,                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                          
whether it was my fault or not                                                              ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I thought our love would last                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
but I settled for what I got                                                              ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You take all that I have,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                
want me at your beck & call,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
then tell me I should be glad,                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
I'm getting anything at all

Someone told me to write what you know                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
but I'm not sure that is the way to go                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                                 ­
All I know is heartache and pain,                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
when writing it out, I'm reliving it again                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                        
I'd rather write poems about someone else,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                        
to take some of the heat off of myself,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­ 
to escape to a world full of fantasy,                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                               
where no one even resembles me                                                            
  ­                                                                 ­                                                     
I want to write of love and tenderness,                                                      ­                      
                                                                ­                                              
about someone who knows happiness                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
I want to write about someone breaking free                                                  
          ­                                                                 ­                                           
 of all of the problems plaguing me                                                               ­   
                                                                ­                                              
That's where I want to be

I don't love who you
are,                                                             ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I love who you used to be                                                               ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
 I keep hoping that not too          
 far,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
  that person is still
  lurking                                                       ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                        
   I get a glimpse now &
   then                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                 
 that keeps my hopes
alive                                                            ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­               
I keep on wondering
when,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
you'll tell me he's
arrived                                                          ­                            
                                                                ­                                                
Every once in a
while,                                                           ­                           
                                                                ­                                                    
he shows himself to
me,                                                              ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                       
in a look or a smile                                                            ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                           
and it is so reassuring                                                       ­                                                               
                                                                ­                                                  
but those glimpses are so few                                                              ­                              
                                                                ­                                                      
  it leaves me questioning                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­               
  Why do I stay with you?                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
What's this loves direction?                                                       ­                           
                                                                ­                                                  
My heart still won't give up                                                               ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
it's missing what is gone                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
but I know it's been long
enough                                                           ­                     
                                                                ­                                                  
and he's not coming home

My heart looks like a crime scene,          
                                                                ­                                                        
   a victim of love bleeds profusely                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
So many cuts inflicted on me,                                                              ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
your love has left it's print on me                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
Your weapon of words cut like a knife,                                          
                                                                ­                                              
causing me pain, threatening my life,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                  
only held together with caution tape,                                                
                                                                ­                                                
sealed with lies & bitter hate                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
Hit & run, I am left dealing.                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                                
with a heart that has no feeling                                                          ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
You are guilty, the jury is in                                                               ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
may you burn with others condemned

Here are the wings you need to take flight                                                           ­                                                     Guard your heart like you do your life                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­ Say your prayers, thank God every night                                                          Let your love shine, it's your light                                                            ­           A smile is the first thing people see                                                              ­ Live your life free and happily                                                          ­  Treat others like you'd like to be                                                               Don't just look around but truly see                                                              ­  Live each day like it's your last                                                             ­           Live in the present, not in the past

There is not a single day, that I don't walk this way                                                              ­                                                        
                                                                ­                                                    
It's just a path that I take, when I have decisions to make                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
It's given me the chance to see, God's work so perfectly                                                        ­                
                                                ­                                                            
Amongst the birds and the bees, are flowers I keep noticing                        
                                                                ­                                              
They are both yellow and orange, not much to see,                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
but I have seen them bloom in May, clumped in snow on a cold day                                  
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
  I can't help but admire their will, standing tall, standing still,      
                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­          
its head held high with dignity, I hope I have that strength in me

You are here right here with me,                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­ 
looking through, not at me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
We are suffering quietly,                                                         ­                   
                                                                ­                                                                 so much is said, silently                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
The TV plays way too loud                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
You stomp your feet too proud                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                
  Neither of us is willing to do,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                
what's needed to get us through                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You give me an icy glare,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                     
interrupting my focused stare,                                                           ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                  
slapping me into reality                                                          ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­               
of how bad it is between you &me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                     
  The washer machine in the background,                                                      ­
                                                                ­                                              
   cleans up dirt without a sound                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
   But you & I can't get
by,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­   
   our dirt gets materialized                                                     ­                 
                                                                ­                                            
   Behind the walls we are seen,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                    
as a couple whose grass is green                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                              
  While eating our dinner we fall apart.                                                           ­                                                       
         ­                                                                 ­                                        
  as we eat the other's hearts                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                 
 The fence is white & the flowers bloom.                                                
          ­                                                                 ­                                         
as we explode in the living room                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
The pictures hung so perfectly,                                                       ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
like we once used to be

You set my whole world ablaze                                                           ­         just  so you could have your way                                                              ­        Burned a path right through me                                                              leaving me scorched in deceit                                                           ­         Threw stagnant water on the pain                                                             ­      while treating me with disdain                                                          ­             The tyrant king of his kingdom                                                          ­                 I bear the wounds of your wisdom                                                           ­     Fragments  of me shattered easily                                                           ­          with a  forced smile ,I'd agree                                                            ­          anything just to keep the peace                                                            ­          and it was killing me, crushing me                                                                    It took this new version of me                                                               ­           to really see I was out of your league

There comes a time in your life, when you have to face all you've done                                                             ­                                                        Have you tasted it, taken a bite, or crossed off your list, a single one?                                                             ­                                                         Are you living each day like it lasts because life goes so fast,                                                            ­                                                              so I like to do more often than not, sit myself down and straight talk                                                             ­                                                                You can't change or live in the past, it dims life's light with the shadow it casts                                                                                            ­                                It humbles me and makes me aware, love is garden that needs care                                                             ­                                                            It's so easy to build up a wall  ,impossible to scale it keeps out all  ,                                                           ­                                                            once you feel no one's there, remember you shunned all who cared                                                            ­                                                             Life is fleeting and love is strong, both must be given freely to work along                                                            ­                                                               I have seen it  many times,  life and love withering on the vine

I see you smiling through your tears                                                            ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
   You still amaze me after all these years                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                              
                                                                ­                                                
Your strength helps me to believe                                                        
                                                                ­                                                   
   That all will be okay with me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
   In your eyes I see a glimpse of hope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
You are the only knot in a flimsy rope                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
  An anchor buried in me so deep                                                             ­                 
                                                                ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
holding me steady, firm on my feet                                                                        ­                                                      
I often wonder where I would I be                                                               ­ 
                                                               ­                                           
without you always supporting me                                                              
                                                                ­                                                      
I admire every aspect of you                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
You have always told me the truth                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                    
No secrets & nothing to hide                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
  So easy for me to confide                                                          ­                      
                                          ­                                                              
Na­turally beautiful in every way                                                            
                                                                ­                                                      
I love you more than I can say                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
You accept me just as I am                                                                  ­                                               
 Push me to be all that I
  can                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
You listen to me & you understand                                                       ­         
                                                       ­                                                             
I'll walk through life with you, hand in hand

I gave my all every time, gave my heart, gave my mind                                                             ­                                                       one hundred and ten percent, like a weathered reed I have bent                                                             ­                                                    wrung my hands in despair, because I loved, because I cared                                                            ­                                                             I have wept tears and I have tried, to make a change, to be a guide                                                            ­                                                             It's my curse to love and mend, my family and my friends                                                          ­                                                           To offer hope and humanity, to offer help to those in need                                                             ­                                                          It's the way we all should be, not to follow but to lead, but perhaps it's just the Aquarian in me

I can't keep giving away pieces of me,                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
to someone who regards them so
carelessly                                                       ­     
                                                                ­                                                
You've made me put up a protective
wall                                                        
                                                                ­                                              
because you don't deserve me at
all                                                              ­    
                                                            ­                                                              
I remember when our love was
carefree,                                                        ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
when I thought you really loved
me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
but I don't feel the same
today,                                                           ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­  
since I've had to take my trust
away                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                             
Chances are you were always this way,                                        
                                                                ­                                            
putting yourself first every
day                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
I admit there were times I didn't
see,                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                  
you couldn't be mine
faithfully                                                       ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
I felt if I just loved you
more,                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                              
  you'd step up, make me feel
secure                                                           ­               
                                                                ­                                                
That didn't happen, so here we are,                                                          
                                                                ­                                          
together still but our hearts so far.

I'm loosening the reins,                                                           ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­              
         I am letting go                                                               ­                               
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm living again,                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                      
out of your shadow                                                           ­                             
                                                                ­                                                          
I am coming up, 
                                                                ­                                                        
I have had enough
                                                                 ­                            
 This is not love,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
It's over for
us                                                               ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
I'll push you away,                                                            ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
I'll close my heart                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
Today is the day,                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
I get a new
start                                                           ­                                                             
   ­                                                                 ­                                          
Today the sun will shine                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­                   
and be bright for me                                                               ­                                               
                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
   I 've found my inner light                                                            ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                            
  a healing energy

I see the narcissist in you                                                              ­                       so strategic in your moves                                                            ­     manipulated I Love You's                                                            ­                 used to pull me closer to you                                                                             So many secrets you couldn't tell                                                             ­      kept them hidden very well                                                             ­          While I was busy weathering the tide                                                                 it had kept the enemy by my side                                                             ­         You loved me from your ego and pride                                                 knowing I was your ride or die                                                                             I had to pull back on my emotions                                                         ­          step out of that turbulent ocean                                                            ­        God had blessed me discernment                                                      ­     pulled me from the riptide current                                                          ­   Regaining control of the true me                                                             opening up an ocean of possibilities

You know that smile that reaches your eyes,                                                            ­                                                                                                              ­                                                        one  saved for love, the one for  surprise                                                    ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­               the one that's reserved, for no one but me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­            like my favorite dessert, made especially

The flames of the fire are
gone,                                                           ­                                                             slowly the embers grow
faint,                                                          ­                                                                ashes waltz in orange taffeta,                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
  carried up into the darkness and fade

Just like a tapestry,                                                        ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                 
you are woven into
me                                                               ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­        
Two bodies, one
heartbeat,                                                       ­                               
                                                                ­                                                        
    I need you to feel complete                                                         ­       
                                                                ­                                          
  Whenever we are
apart,                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­              
you have a part of my
heart                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­       
   I could melt right into you                                         
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
be your personal tattoo

I want to float like a dandelion
seed,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                       
  carried off by wind on a summer
breeze,                                                          ­            
                                                                ­                                                  
flying over grass, dipping past the
trees                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                    
The weightlessness of nature's
fairies                                                          ­                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
Hitch a ride on a high-flying
kite,                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­     
soar to the Heavens & out of
sight,                                                           ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
crash into the ground, melt into the
earth                                                            ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
Let the rain take me to my
rebirth                                                          ­            
                                                    ­                                                           
  When summer comes, I will
  thrive                                                        ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                   
then break into the wind & come alive

This is my voice,                                                           ­                                           
                                                                ­                                                      
pen & paper pain                                                             ­                                   
                                                                ­                                                      
I've made the choice                                                           ­                                     
                           ­                                                                 ­                            
to blot the stain                                                            ­                                                  
              ­                                                                 ­                               
Band-Aid pulled off,                                                             ­                                                           
     ­                                                                 ­                                                  
let the wound bleed                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
Yes, it is
tough                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
but it's what I
need                                                             ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                              
I can't pretend                                                          ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                   
  that I am
  fine                                                          ­                                          
                      ­                                                                 ­                             
so, I use my pen                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                    
 to speak my
  mind                                                          ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­             
Journal
everything,                                                      ­                                    
                                                                ­                                            
getting it all
out                                                              ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­           
because doing
nothing                                                          ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­             
is a silent shout

Open up, let it in,                                                              ­                                    
                                                                ­                                                      
  feel it under your skin                                                             ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­        
Observe the beauty of the Earth,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
let it give your senses birth                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                                  
Allow yourself to feel,                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­   
help open wounds to heal                                                             ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
Learn how to forgive,                                                         ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
let yourself live

You say, I don't pay attention,                                                       ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                    
  I say, I don't have to listen,                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                        
   You say, I talk all the
time,                                                            ­                                              
                                                                ­                                              
   I say, you never pay me no mind                                                             ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
  You say, I need sometime
  alone,                                                        ­                                      
                          ­                                                                 ­                             
I say, you never call me on the phone,                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                        
I say, I think we need a break,                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­       
   You say, I never give, I only
take,                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­             
I say, I'm not happy anymore,                                                         ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­    
You say, well, right there's the door,                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I say, my final good-bye,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
You say, you never even tried

Lately something's come over
me,                                                              ­            
                                                    ­                                                                 ­ 
I've been thinking of walking into the
sea                                                              ­  
                                                              ­                                                        
Feel the water splash all over me,                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                     
  as the waves carry me so
gently                                                           ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­        
Grains of sand, so cool under my
feet,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                      
while the sun shines down to greet me                                                               ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­        
Feel at peace with all the creatures
there,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                             
allow the ocean to wash away my
cares                                                           ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                         
   Lay back and just float away, 
                                                      
  experie­nce it all, enjoy the day                                                              ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
Taste the salt that lingers on my
face                                                             ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
feel the stickiness of ocean
spray,                                                          ­                                                                                                                               ­                                   
   Walk along the waters  edge, so clear,                                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  as the seagulls scream in my ears

Some think true love is a dozen a dime,                                                      
                                                                ­                                                    
they don't know how hard it is to find                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
  I only know from my own history,                                                         ­                                                               
 ­                                                                 ­                                                      
 it hasn't happened that often for me                                                               ­                             
                                                                ­                                                        
So, when I find it I just as quickly,                                                         ­     
                                                                ­                                                        
   I celebrate the miracle happening to
   me                                                               ­                 
                                                                ­                                                        
   I just hold on; it may not last for
   long                                                        
    ­                                                                 ­                                                   
   It feels so right, I want it to go
   on,                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                              
  I close my eyes &embrace the love,                                                        
   ­                                                                 ­                                        
cherish the memories, there's never enough                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                         
Open your heart & let it rush in,                                                              ­          
                                                      ­                                                    
flood your heart with happy feelings                                                         ­         
                                                                ­                                              
Smile like a fool till your face hurts,                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
fill your heart with love till it bursts                                                      
    ­                                                                 ­                                         
Dance in streets, promenade in the rain,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                              
treat it like it won't happen again                                                            ­        
                                                                ­                                               
 Send them flowers, chocolate or cards,                                            
                                                                ­                                                   
   Call them unexpected, wherever you are,                                            
                ­                                                                 ­                                  
 end every call with an I love
  you,                                                          ­          
                                                      ­                                                        
show them what they mean to you                                                  
           ­                                                                 ­                                  
Wake up smiling & keep it up,                                                            
 ­                                                                 ­                                                
tell them they're everything you're dreaming of

You are knee deep in your toxicity                                                         ­  hoping your hate will steep into me                                                               ­   Submerged  so far that you can't see                                                           that you are no longer affecting me                                                      As  much as it gives you pleasure                                                         ­    I'm  not cracking under your pressure                                                     Life's  lessons weren't made to break me                                             An  army of you couldn't shake me                                                         So  brace yourself for your karmic storm                                                             that's  been churning in you since you were born

Every time I put my foot down,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                                      
you get ****** and start coming around                                                           ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
and about the time I'm on solid ground,                                                        
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
you come back to claim your lost and found                                                          
                                                                ­                                                      
You can't stand me being on my own,                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                           
you hate the thought that I have grown                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just like I flower I start to bloom                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                                    
  till you get jealous & cut my roots                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­ 
  Why can't you swallow your pride,                                                           ­   
                                                                ­                                                        
  I don't need you by my side to thrive                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                              
  You're so afraid that I have moved on                                                               ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­  
and have no need to bring you along                                                            ­            
                                                    ­                                                              
Let me go, you never really cared                                                            ­      
                                                                ­                                                
      until you realized I'm no longer there.

Tell me, how does it feel to be,                                                              ­                  
                                              ­                                                             
  swimming in your toxic
acidity                                                          ­      
                                                          ­                                                            
An entire ocean of
negativity                                                       ­                                       
                         ­                                                                 ­                            
and you're in deeper than six
feet                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                
Trying to throw shade on
me,                                                              ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
  while I stand in my divine
energy                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                
  Knee deep in your karmic despair,                                                         ­               
                                                                ­                                                  
  will you go anywhere from
there?                                                           ­     
                                                                ­                                                
  Have you learned any lessons at
all?                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  Will you drown or will you
fall?                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
  You always fear of being
judged,                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
  you'd rather have a ******
smudge                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
Staying hidden in your
disguise                                                         ­                       
                                         ­                                                                 ­    
starting with a foundation of lies                                                   
                                                                ­                                                
Clap back, you only get what you give                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                
as I'm finding a better way to live

I will be okay, she said to me                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                           
wiping a tear off with her sleeve                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                              
blood shot eyes looking at me,                                                              ­        
                                                                ­                                              
smiling at me with false bravery                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                        Embarrassed by emotions shed,                                                            ­
                                                                ­                                                        
she put her hand on top of her head                                                            
                                                                ­                                              
Pushed me away & said,'' leave me alone''                                                          ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                      
I just need some time of my own                                                              ­  
                                                                ­                                                      
I did as she said out of respect,                                                         ­ 
                                                               ­                                                   
she reacted in a way I didn't expect,                                                          ­      
                                                                ­                                                  
she left the house, she was distraught,                                                      ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
I sat there, left with her thoughts                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                          
She was one of my best friends                                                          ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­         
after that day, never seen alive again                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                      
They found her after a few days                                                             ­           
                                                     ­                                                   
someone killed her in a bad way                                                              ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
I always felt responsible                                                      ­                                
                                ­                                                                 ­                 
but stopping her was impossible                                                       ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
If she had not run away,                                                            ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­           
she would still be here today                                                            ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­      
 So many things I wanted to say,                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                       
that may have changed that day                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
  I should have said,'' you can count on me''                                                    
                                                                ­                                                
That her friend, I would always be                                                  
                                                                ­                                                  
  and that if she ever fell apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
that I would hold her broken heart,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                   
until she was able to mend,                                                            ­            
                                                                ­                                                      
I loved her, she was my friend                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
now I am filled with, ''if only I's?"                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
and left with wondering why?

In the ocean of life, I'm caught up in the waves                                        and they come crashing down on me every day                                                              ­                                                         Sometimes I can swim with it and stay above                                                            ­                                                       all  of the negativity it's made of                                                               ­    There  are the days where I almost drown,                                                           ­                                          everything in life is weighing me down                                                             ­                                                      I  reach for my life line, reach for hope,                                                            ­   but there's no one there at the end of the rope                                            Weather beaten tired and torn                                                             ­                 I am caught up in life's storm

Life doesn't get easier as you get
older,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
the world gets heavier on your
shoulders                                                      
                                                                ­                                          
Sometimes I feel the weight will crush
me,                                                              ­                                                  
                                                                ­                                                      
this massive weight of responsibility                                                   ­               
                                                                ­                                                
Being the glue that holds everything,                                                      ­  
                                                                ­                                                  
can cause you to crack & fade with strain                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                                      
Being all that others need you to be                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                         
doesn't leave much left for me                                                               ­             
                                                                ­                                            
Noone seems amazed that I don't fall apart,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                           
only I know how it breaks my heart                                                            ­      
                                                          ­                                                              
I never once hear a simple thank you,                                                             ­   
                                                             ­                                                       
no act of kindness paid, no gratitude                                                        ­                                                          
      ­                                                                 ­                                                 
I don't even know how I don't fall down,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                          
  with no encouragement to be found                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  I hold my breath, and no one sees,                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  they are busy fulfilling their needs                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                              
  No awards, no prize, they don't realize                                                          ­  
                                                              ­                                                    
  this glue is cracked, yellowed & dry

Love is like a rare flower, it possesses a power                                                            ­                                                 Drawing you in, luringly, beautiful but needs nurturing                         from a distance we can see all  of its outer beauty                                                           ­                                                      something we crave, something we need                                                             ­                                                          we drink it in so greedily ,but few can grow it properly

You pull me in ways I don't want to go                                                               ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
You show me things I don't want to know                                                             ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­                  
You tell me the words I want to hear,                                                          
 ­                                                                 ­                                                    
you are the very thing I fear                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                      
You hold my hand, you hold me down,                                                      
     ­                                                                 ­                                                  
I feel like I'm six feet underground                                                      ­      
                                                          ­                                                        
You whisper sweet lies to watch me react,                                            
                                                                ­                                                        
I wish I could take all my love back                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                                  
You push me out of my comfort zone,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                          
then when we get home, you leave me alone                                                      
                                                                ­                                                        
  I never know who I'm going to get today,                                                           ­   
                                                             ­                                           
someone who cares or just wants it their way                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                
  All the things I loved about you,        
                                                    ­                                                                    
are the very things that broke us in two

On the other side of the fence,                                                                    ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                      
a wild yellow flower grows,                                                           ­     
                                                           ­                                                             
sweet smelling so
intense,                                                         ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                          
It takes first place in show                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­  
   If only I could reach it
                                                              ­                                                      
    I'd take it just for me                                                               ­   
                                                             ­                                                         
Go home & showcase
it                                                               ­                                                                                       ­                                                   
  and all its fragile
beauty                                                           ­                             
                                   ­                                                                 ­              
Yet it is out of my reach                                                            ­                      
                                          ­                                                                 ­     
Like a star up in the sky,                                                             ­                   
                                             ­                                                                 ­        
   a rare shell on a forbidden beach                                                            ­                                                                 ­          
 I will stretch & I'll still try                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                        
Straining past the fence
post,                                                            ­              
                                                                ­                                        
touching it with fingertips                                                       ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­          
  I realize what I need
most,                                                            ­                        
                                                                ­                                                      
is just to stop admire it

Like a butterfly, my heart
flutters,                                                        ­        
                                                        ­                                                          
when you're around, it works
harder                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
When you're away, it goes into
arrest,                                                          ­          
                                                                ­                                                
loving you has put my heart to the
test                                                             ­                         
                                       ­                                                                 ­          
Can't breathe easy when you're not with
me,                                              
                                                                ­                                                    
can't see straight & I can't think
clearly                                                          ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                  
  Just one call from you & I am
  okay,                                                         ­           
                                                                ­                                                        
  I get obsessed with you more each
  day                                                           ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
  You are the drug that feeds my addiction                                                        ­              
                                                  ­                                                                
­ The only remedy to cure this affliction

With his hands on his
ears,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
he tries not to
hear,                                                            ­                                        
                                                                ­                                                        
as the voices cry
out,                                                             ­                               
                                 ­                                                                 ­                      
in his head fear
sprouts                                                          ­                                    
                            ­                                                                 ­                         
You can sense his
frustration,                                                     ­                             
                                                                ­                                              
without knowing the
situation                                                       ­                                                                 ­
 You can see he's suffering
inside,                                                          ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
and it makes me want to
cry                                                              ­                                      
                                                                ­                                                
Teary eyes and a smile on his
face,                                                            ­        
                                                        ­                                                            
he says that he feels out of place                                                            ­                                                                 ­   
 Urges me to want to pull him in                                                               ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                       
   try to give him strength
within                                                           ­         
                                                                ­                                                
Many years of pain, lived again &
again,                                                          
­                                                                 ­                                                   
as we both pray for it to go
away                                                             ­                               
                                                                ­                                        
knowing it has yet to
end                                                             ­                                                       
                                                                ­                                                    
So fragile is he, yet as strong as can
be                                                               ­     
                                                                ­                                                    
   you want to love him eternally                                                        ­  
                                                              ­                                                
Sweet, gentle giant innocent as a
child                                                            ­  
                                                                ­                                                
  with a perfect disposition and a weary smile

Here I stand before you,                                                             ­             
                                                                ­                                                  
heart shattered, ego bruised                                                          ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­          
  The accuser and the accused,                                                         ­                     
                                                                ­                                                        
all judgement coming from
you                                                              ­    
                                                                ­                                                      
I'm sorry I'm not able to be                                                               ­                                   
                             ­                                                                 ­                        
the person you're
remembering                                                      ­              
                                                                ­                                                  
What I think I often speak,                                                           ­       
                                                                ­                                                        
it doesn't make me fragile or
weak                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                     
As you stand here beside me,                                                            
                                                                ­                                                  
  you still act high &
mighty                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
  Like you have the authority,                                                       ­               
                                                                ­                                                      
to question me so harshly                                                          ­                  
                                              ­                                                                 ­      
 If you get cut you still
  bleed,                                                        ­                        
                                        ­                                                                 ­         
   you are no different than me

The embers from the campfire,                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                                        
  are like fireflies in flight                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                                  
  as they escape, they burn brighter                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                         
 an orange star in the
night                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­         
Tendrils of smoke wafting in the
air,                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                         
 it's in our clothes, in our hair                                                             ­             
                                                   ­                                                                 ­  
 It smells like summertime out
here,                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                              
  eating hotdogs & drinking beer                                                             ­ 
                                                               ­                                                 
 Turn the music way up high                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­  
 The moon shines so bright                                                          
                                                                ­                                                  
 The crickets are trilling all
around,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                    
it's like we are in surround
sound                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                 ­ 
  I love this cool summer
  night                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                             
  the campfire feels so nice

Dear other woman,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                        
he doesn't care about you,                                                             ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­            
he was once my man                                                              ­                                                  
and at one time I was you                                                              ­                                                                 ­                                                                
­                                                                 ­                                                   
He'll never
checkup                                                          ­                                            
                    ­                                                                 ­                                   
to make sure you're
okay                                                             ­                         
                                                                ­                                                  
and when he's had
enough,                                                          ­                                
                                                                ­                                                    
he will be on his way                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­             
He'll spend his
weekends,                                                        ­                          
                                      ­                                                                 ­       
doing what he wants                                                            ­                  
                                                                ­                                        
Hanging out with friends,                                                         ­                       
                                                                ­                                                  
and you stay home alone                                                            ­                  
                                              ­                                                                
You'll be up all night,                                                           ­           
                                                     ­                                                       
waiting by the phone                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­            
 and he'll start a
fight                                                            ­                                  
                                                                ­                                                    
  so, he can stay out on his
own                                                              ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­           
You'll think he's
cheating,                                                        ­                              
                                  ­                                                                 ­              
 he'll say it's in your
  mind                                                          ­                              
                                                                ­                                                    
  He will have you
  thinking,                                                     ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­      
that you're wasting his
time                                                             ­           
                                                                ­                                                  
Just when you think you                                                              ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­   
can't take it anymore                                                          ­                                                    
            ­                                                                 ­                                    
  and you have the
proof                                                            ­                                  
                              ­                                                                 ­                       
to nail his *** to the floor,                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                
here come the flowers                                                          ­                                                    
                                                                ­                                                    
so, he can get back in                                                               ­                                   
                                                                ­                                            
Giving him back the
power,                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                
to cheat on you again                                                            ­                            
                                    ­                                                                 ­                   
I know you are wondering,                                                       ­               
                                                 ­                                                                
 why I am confiding in
you,                                                             ­                   
                                                                ­                                                    
  it's because I've been
  there,                                                        ­                                        
                        ­                                                                 ­                           
and at one time I was you

You have torn me up                                                               ­                  you  have torn me down                                                             ­              and  I have  had enough                                                           ­          of  this  merry-go-round                                       ­                      You  asked  for space                                                            ­               you  asked  for time                                                             ­                                  A  slap  in the face                                                             ­                                   you   used  it to  undermine                                                    ­                   But  patience  brings power                                                            ­             and  I 'm  coming into mine                                                             ­     Just  because  you yell louder                                                           ­                     doesn't  make you right

When the glitter fell so did the spell, of the Knight in shining armor                                                            ­                
                                                ­                                                                 ­     
She came to understand that he was just a man who in the end
would harm her,                                                             ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                    
  now faced with the truth, he was the proof, she distanced herself
from him,                                                             ­                                             
                   ­                                                                 ­                            
braced for the worst even though it would hurt, it was the best
thing for them                                                             ­                                                                 ­      
                                                                ­                                                      
She was prepared that if he really cared, he would persist to have
her                                                              ­                                              
                                                                ­                                                   
 but in the end, he was like the other men, not her Knight in shining
armor

Green meadows covered in moss                                                             ­               
                                                 ­                                                                 ­    
like carpeting so moist & soft                                                             ­       
                                                                ­                                            
  Weeping willow branches silently
reaching                                                         ­             
                                                                ­                                        
dandelions in the breeze, seeds
releasing                                                        ­                      
                                                                 ­                                                   
  Bees buzzing around in the
sunshine                                                         ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­        
  as birds pick at grapes on the
vine                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                          
Fragrant flowers with yellow
pollen                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                     
opened mouth to nurture this
garden                                                          
                                                                ­                                                           Wild pink roses & white
daisies                                                          ­                                  
                                                                ­                                            
clamor for space near the
euphrasy                                                         ­           
                                                     ­                                                               
As the sun slumbers in
sleep,                                                           ­                 
                                                                ­                                          
fireflies redecorate the scenery                                                          ­                    
                                                                ­                                            
Beauty as far as the eye can see                                                              ­        
                                                        ­                                                                
­I take in the garden, and it takes me

It seemed like old times again                                                            ­       we  talked and let our hearts mend                                                          Just  to have time with you                                                              ­        was  what I needed from you                                                              ­        Every time that I've decided to                                                                throw  my hands up, you do you                                                              you  turn around and  you surprise me                                                           with  your kindness that I miss deeply                                               That  tiny hug before you left                                                             ­    reminded  me not to give up on you yet                                                              ­                                                              I  wish  we could go back to                                                               ­               a  relationship between me and you

Some wounds never heal,                                                            ­                          
                                                                ­                                                      
that would require me to feel                                                             ­                           
                                                                ­                                                          
I cover the cracks outside,                                                         ­                                           
                     ­                                                                 ­                            
build my walls so high                                                             ­                 
                                               ­                                                                 ­      
My little secrets unrevealed

I wish I could see you                                                                                       wish you could see me                                                               ­                           One last time before you                                                              ­                     left me for an eternity                                                         ­                                   I miss your smiling face                                                             ­                        the love you gave freely                                                           ­                              I wish there was a place                                                            ­                         that you and I could meet                                                             ­                         I still feel you around me                                                               ­                 like it was yesterday                                                        ­                      Your aura surrounds me                                                               ­                        and leads me the right way                                                              ­                     I still catch myself trying                                                           ­                          to make you proud of me                                                               ­                  and when I feel like crying                                                           ­                    thoughts of you are comforting                                                       ­                          I know that someday                                                          ­                      I will see you once again                                                       ­                  but  until that day                                                              ­                                   nothing will be as it had been

Every lie you say to me,                                                              ­                          
                                                                ­                                                  
every infidelity,                                                      ­                                              
                  ­                                                                 ­                               
taints another memory                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­               
 and you are slowly killing me                                                               ­                                       
                                                                ­                                                      
You have filled my heart with hate,                                                            ­                              
                                                                ­                                                  
every time you come home late,                                                            ­          
                                                                ­                                                      
  my heart & head has to debate,                                                          ­              
                                                  ­                                                                 ­   
  you always end up second rate                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Why didn't you just walk away?                                                            ­              
                                                  ­                                                              
  ­How can you treat me this way?                                                             ­     
                                                           ­                                                     
  You want your cake & eat it too,                                                             ­   
                                                                ­                                                 
 and **** you got a big, sweet tooth                                                        
                                                                ­                                                  
She didn't take you away from me,                                                              ­
                                                                ­                                                      
I will give you to her, gladly                                                           ­                     
                                           ­                                                                 ­    
then I will sit back just to see,                                                             ­               
                                                                ­                                                
what happens when she becomes like me

You are back at my front door,                                                            ­          
                                                      ­                                                                
the one you slammed the year before,                                                          ­              
                                                                ­                                                    
with flowers and your, I love You's,                                                           ­                                     
                                                                ­                                                      
like you believe that I still love you too                                                              ­                     
                                                                ­                                                      
but all the words that you say,                                                             ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                           
have lost their meaning along the
  way                                                              ­      
                                                                ­                                                     
Sorry, I know the real
truth,                                                           ­             
                                                                ­                                                
that she's broken up with
you,                                                            ­                                                             
so, you're checking in on number two,                                                             ­                                                                                                                    ­                                               
how many more have you gone
too?                                                            ­                                                     
                                                                ­                                                  
You aren't man enough to love
 anyone,                                                        ­    
                                                            ­                                                        
 let alone us both, you're still a
 con                                                            ­                                            
                                                                ­                                              
 Even if I was desperate, you wouldn't
  be                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
  someone I would take back
  willingly                                                        ­        
                                                                ­                                                 
 The year that I have been here
  alone,                                                        ­                                                                                  ­                                                       
  I have healed and I have
  grown,                                                        ­      
                                                          ­                                                           
  so, I suggest you go find number
  three,                                                        ­                                      
                                                                ­                                              
  inflict your twisted love on
  somebody                                                      ­                    
                                            ­                                                                 ­           
  I hope she figures you out from the
  start                                                         ­         
                                                       ­                                                           
  the­n turns around and breaks your heart