melancholicreator

melancholicreator Nov 2019

i know you’re your own poison,
my love.

the things around you
place a bright
spot light
upon your soul
and expect a certain behavior

this makes you hate yourself
makes you feel heavy at every step
makes you snap at the
lightest presentation of stress
and it’s been killing you
for a long time

but to this, you fight back
with every drop of sweat and every tear
even while you bleed
even if you feel like breaking down
you continue

while the one you trusted let you down
while your dreams seemed far fetched
while you didn’t want his touch
but he said
“babe, let’s”
while you watched the disappearance
of your pure crown
you maintained a smile

you didn’t need anyone or
anything, your self sufficient self
raises every single hair
on my body
every part of me
admires you, it just
wishes you knew your wealth

no one understands
but i can see
i can see your unsteady breath
as your anxious habits kick in
at full speed
and i want to be there
to catch you as you fall
and bring you right back up

people convince themselves
that because of your past
that you’re the same person
that you haven’t changed at all
this makes you feel alone

i want you to know that i can
see it all
i can see the tears you hide
see the tales full of white lies
that you tell the world
just to get through the day

but what you don't know is
that i don't just glance, or stare
but become completely submerged
by your essence that i simply
admire and smile
because as you suffer
i’ve waited patiently for you
to glance at me
that way i’d be able to gain grip
of those beautiful glimmering eyes of yours
and say
“hey, it’s okay”

you are strong
you are exquisite
you are top of the line
baby girl
i’d be wrong
to let my words sink into my being
without hearing
what you think about
you being mine

my mind has memorized every
inch of you, duly
know i'm not like the rest, and i'm here to
listen and to stay,
you misunderstood beauty.

-melancholicreator

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#beauty #misunderstood #love #lover #lovers #fighter #fight #poison #help #depression

melancholicreator Nov 2019

rain rain go away

it poured that night.
so much so that it seemed
that god knew he was
in pain.

he wielded his weapon,
gripped it in guilt,
he wanted to sin.

he was alone.
so he felt a solemn comfort.

the type of comfort that
hurts
the heart and accompanies
the soul.

he could not wield his
weapon any more.
he could no longer
fight this treacherous
war against the enemy.

himself.

so he held it up,
just enough
to aim at the
source.

just enough to mask
the cries and the tears
and the pain
with the rain

as it poured, and poured, and poured.

he called god’s name,

but it just poured.
and poured.
and poured.

until his cries were no longer,
as they had finally ended.

as they fled from the sentence
of life and blended with
the lonely droplets on
his window.

and it poured, and it poured, and it poured.

and he called out one last time,
and finally made a decision
that night after god’s absence
was made clear.

and suddenly, there was no more sorrow.
no more pain, no more fear, no more shame.

simply, peace.

as the red painted a beautiful
piece on the window.

and then the rain
stopped.

-melancholicreator

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#melancholy #sad #depression #depressed #suicide #rain #shame #pain #painful #god

Nov 2019

Robby

The Wrong One (Maybe Not)

When I met you I knew what the end would be
I knew this was temporary at best

People like us don’t get the fairy tale
Happily ever afters are for normal people

You told me all about your past
It was all too easy to predict your future

I accounted for everything in that moment
I accounted for everything except for my heart

I never meant to do this
Why did we fall in love?

At least we had us
Even if just for a breath of time

To anyone who has ever fallen in love with the wrong person

#love #loss #wrong #decisions #guessing #confusion #marriage #infidelity #longing

Nov 2019

Robby

Wet Paint

Be patient with me
I’m still a work in progress

Somedays I seem put together
But that paint’s not dry just yet

One day I’ll get this right
I’m sorry

#progress #worth #depression #effort #improvement #love #patience #sorry

Nov 2019

Aurora

You Asked

I must admit:
I am unwilling to give
even a hint of consideration
to the thought of being anything,
anyone other than that brilliant,
briefly lit comet,
hurtling toward home.

It matters not
where I land,
or who takes pictures from the ground.

This is only a trip.
This is just a ride.
So fleeting, so fiery,
that you wouldn't want to pause to wonder
what you look like up there,
or else you might miss
the very things that make
your fires unforgettable
and your blast burn true.

melancholicreator Nov 2019

once upon a time

once upon a time,
through inhales of cigarette smoke,
grime and long gone hope,
rose a pretty little woman.

i was fortunate enough to witness this.

i witnessed the rise and fall of a soul so pure.
so purely stained by reality’s ruthless claws.
a soul so pained by the universe’s laws.

her knees? bruised, from the falls.
her eyes? dark, from the endless tearful nights.
her hair? knotted, from all the pulling her devils did.
her lips? warm, from the blood that dripped.

the red she bled accompanied by sorrow.

her voice? soft, but so immensely broken.
so fatigued and weary,
because although she doesn’t realize it,

her aura screams in tongues
of unbearable agony.

once upon a time,
we met.
through the plans of
some unknown being.

seeing how our pain had grown so similar.

and ever since we held onto each other, we haven't left.

because,
once upon a time, we suffered.
once upon a time, we were crushed by the damages done to us.
once upon a time, we were cowards and refused to face our devils.
once upon a time, we were disposable in this barren waste land.

and life isn’t a fairytale, it will continue to do it’s worst
and we’ll feel pain like no other.

but, i’d rather continue
my painful tale with her,
than without.

-melancholicreator

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#love #painful #pain #romance #dark #darkness #lover #fairytale #agony #weary

melancholicreator Nov 2018

a waste of tears

smoke.

the smell of nicotine
rests on my black
graphic t-shirt.

the dwell of misery
rests on my back,
while music reverbs.

my black vans are
filthy with the weight
of pain.

a wallet,
filled with little notes.
writings from her
in my back pocket.

a very lonely bench awaits
my place as i sit and
try to out smoke
this familiar mental state.

i look out into the
water ahead, the creek’s
liquid mirror reflecting
her aura.

“oh god, not again.”

a sudden and sharp spike
of sadness runs through
me, a longing tear trails
my frozen cheeks.

then i remember him,
and how much i miss him.

i remember him calling out
for me along with mom,
and how harmoniously my
heart would pump gallons
upon gallons of hot burning
blood.

hot burning love.

i take another drag to mask
the molecules of reality
that i wish i wouldn’t have
to inhale.

i look up
at the aligning stars,
and by the grace
of the god i do not
believe in
do i tell you
that i let out a cry
so loud, that he himself must’ve
felt heaven shake.

with water flooding
my brown eyes, i
yelled and pleaded
whatever being
that could hear me
to end me, because

i tell you that
all this pain,

of missing certain people,
of longing for lost love,
of experiencing incompleteness,
of feeling so ******* unable to stand up,
of combatting the poison guilt is,

drags.

at my soul,
harder
than cigarette

smoke.

-melancholicreator

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#tears #wastedtears #cry #crying #smoke #cigarette #melancholy #melancholic #melancholicpoem #melancholypoetry