I sit alone and wait for friends
These long tedious days never seem to end
I yearn for love, attention and bliss
Yet I dream of the day where I no longer exist

When I think of myself
I think life was a mistake
I think my life is a waste
And that God had poor taste

Why would he create someone as pathetic as me
A boy whose mind wanders about when there's nothing to see
A boy who can't concentrate on the simplest things
A boy who hates himself so much that he only feels pain
A boy who only sees light in the dark and the rain

If only the lonely had somewhere to be
Where they could be loved and held intimately
I hope for the day where i'm no longer lonely
Until then I will patiently wait for friends to join me

Watch the door
Maybe something will come in
I am not sure what yet
My heart is palpitating
My mind is falling apart
I want to scream
But my parents might wake up
I want to cry
But im scared that if the tears block my view
Something could get me
I'm losing it
Everyday feels the same
This loneliness is terrifying
I have never been so scared of the darkness
I used to embrace it
But now it scares me
The silence is too much to bare
What if I lose my mind when the music stops
I don't want to dream
They **** with me
What if I wake up and no ones there
And they only appear to hurt me
I am truly scared
It makes it hard to breathe
I feel tired
But erratic
I wish everything could go away when I wanted
These thoughts I have
They are ruining everything
It makes it so hard to do anything
I feel dead
And trapped
Yet lost all at once
I cant handle this **** much longer
Everything is a mess
Label me depressed
Label me anxious
It means nothing to me
I am just trying my best
But I cant do this much longer
And I know I have said that before
But this time it feels real
I think my opportunities are nearly gone

As subtle as a sun shower
My tears become one with rain
Loosely connected dreams hold my love letters are bay
All I ever wanted
Was to know your name
I guess I'll have to ask you on another day

Sometimes I just want to cry
For no other reason than the clouds in the sky

The night owls awaken once the sun retreats
The midnight sky greets them and cools the summer heat
Even through the silence of voices and stillness of air
The rhythm of their heartbeat stays constant and near
Each breath reminds them that more breathing is to come
This constant reminder makes them want to feel numb

Leaves
Softly shimmer
Not yet fallen
Tho time is near
Seasons will come and go
Let us fall together
Hand in hand
Subtle smiles
Love

You picked white roses from the depths of my dreams

A stranger in my room
If only then I knew

I didn't ask to be here
So why should I have to stay?

You took my pen away so I couldn't write on the walls
So I wrote on the walls of my mind

Your delusions aren't twisted
Nor are they messy and dark
They are linear and have purpose

Those people won't understand
But it doesn't matter
Since we are not all that different
We all have our own delusions
Some of us just don't care to admit

There is no need to pretend you are normal
Because nobody is

I think so much
But I have dreams too
Of beautiful romance
And skies made of infinite blue
Times unknown become gradually new
The clustered thoughts fade
Until they are just about you
I can be the words to your smile
Together we can make our dreams come true