I have not found peace for a while
Even when it rains
My hands still shake
I am not scared of the world
I am scared of myself
And the complexities my mind faces
Dreams are no longer my solitude
They are horrors that leave me no escape
I can find chaos anywhere
Even beyond your brightest smile
Below my feet from where I tread
The soil grounds me and consumes my  voice
Sometimes thoughts feel so close
Yet words feel so far away
And so silence becomes my misery
Freedom seems too abstract to be true
Maybe I am just too harsh on myself
Or too selfish to this world
There is beauty here
Beneath the stars
We do not have to look so far away
When my heart beats out of my chest
I must remember that everything will be okay

I saw your eyes wander out the window
Watching the daisies dancing in the breeze
Autumn came too soon
Now all I see are fallen leaves

Bourbon mixed with sweet decay
Empty sheets
A hollow day
Tell me things you should not say
Our dreams can take us far away
Along the river
Under the stars
Past the meadow where nothing lasts
Far away
Let us disappear
Until we wake up and repeat it all again

See you on another day
I lost my way in the lonely grey
Decay said the stars
They would not stay
Alone became the moon
She loomed above where we used to play
June approached and went away
I see the chaos where we once lay
Swooning as midnight approached
With not one single thought that we would lose our way

I am mayhem
Trapped beneath the stars

Where I lay
Flowers grow
They tell me things that no one knows
Under the stars
I dream upon
This soil will hold me and not let go
Petals fall with the sullen rain
They kiss my skin
As I slip away
Beyond this soil and the stars
I find what I have been looking for

Another page has turned
Yet somehow things just feel the same
This ink never seems to last
It always seems to run away

Once upon a time
I saw you walking straight my way
Now I no longer see you
You have walked too far away
Please do not leave
No just get the **** away
I fell for your touch
And you fell for the words that I would say
My eyes saw the world differently
You heard that my voice had changed
I used to dream that you would stay
But now I just see the demons
You left in my space

She ran for miles
Past the oppressive bright lights
Under the lonely lit moon
The shallow gleam caught her eyes
Into the dark where shadows do not exist
She fell from this land into the endless abyss
Her tears slipped through her fingers
They pierced the night sky
Away with all else
She told the world goodnight

The wind whispered gently
It will all be okay
His thoughts slipped with the teeming rain
The meadow held him where he lay
Slumber came
Time went by
But he would not awake
Flowers grew and took his place
He dreamed of brighter days

Fragile were the stars
They were nowhere to be seen
Midnight crawled to an end
As she fell into a dream

I lay stranded in my bed
Waiting for my dreams to take me away

The floor sinks around me
Dragging me further into the abyss

The moon bleeds red
It seeps through the blinds in my room

Silence echoes in my head
It exists where nothing ever was

When I am gone
I will be reduced to words

I wonder if anyone will read them

Silent is the setting sun
Forever fields where my mind runs
A sudden rush and scarlet skies
Where eyes wander and time flies by
The moon soon will beckon
As if doom impends
The stars died long ago
But their light transcends
Time will filter and slowly mend
I wander through this starry night
The lights above me take my sight
Consumed by chaos
My wings will form
And take me to where I will be reborn

Dreaming of a cerulean sky
A lovely smile and tender eyes
Petals falling as if it rained
This flowerbed is where I lie
Tuis dance above the trees
And sing their favourite melodies
Is this a real or fantasy?
These bed sheets know the best of me

Nothing lasts forever
Some things will never feel the same
Soon the lush greens will fade away
The cicadas will make their bed
Hollow will be the falling sky
As I face existential dread
But soon enough
Summer will return
As if the sun had never left

The day was still young
My mind chose to leave
All solitude left
No more summer breeze
Flowers decayed
The sun harshly beamed
Slowly but surely
I fell into a dream
Her eyes stole my words
I was too stunned to speak
Only witness her smile and the soft sunlight on her cheeks

I live not to remember
Or else these days will repeat
The memories and their echoes will never leave
Spring has become hollow
Like a lost fever dream
Maybe all this time just means nothing
And nothing has become me
Some days feel endless
As if sleep will not come
Other days feel too precious
To accept they are gone
Live not just for the moment
But the moments yet to come
Or you will feel stranded with no one to love

Picture perfect eyes
Silent little lies
A tender touch
Losing love
A lost lullaby
Desolate dreams
Slumber fell in empty sheets
Naive and twenty-nine
It was not meant to be
The rainfall came and spoke to me
To let me rest and put me to sleep

I stare at this empty mirror
Standing still as a picture
Watching my rugged figure
Eyes can tell great stories
I wait for someone to read mine

Silence echoes and overwhelms
Hollow walls surround me
They will break down
For now I wait for sound
The chirps of birds to clear my head
The hush of rain to keep me sane

Time feels endless
It will deceive
The night will not leave

Darkness claimed my shadow
Leaving me to fight this night alone
The air feels dense
It suffocates
I feel lost in my own home

Maybe you will not understand
Your mirror may not look the same
You could be glowing
With a smile bright as day
Ready for the world to come your way

The silent nights are the longest
It feels as if time stands still
The hush of the void is deafening
It lets not you sleep
Leaving your eyes stranded to watch as the night goes by
At this hour the mind wanders
For most rest has come
But for some time echoes
Endlessly
It repeats
Again
Again
Again
Again
As if everything was predetermined

I hate this empty silence
It bleeds through these hollow walls
The wallpaper peels as I dream
I get lost in endless halls
Nothing is really as it seems
You can tell by how the rain falls
There is light outside this room sometimes
I can see it through the blinds
It waits for me to understand
Until I lose my mind

Sometimes it feels easy to rot away
To lie in bed
As your mind decays
Some nights feel lonely
And as boredom sinks in
Your thoughts run wild
Until you can no longer think
It can hurt sometimes
To waste the day
As you watch the sunset
You wish it could all go away
But as hard as life is
You are cared for and loved
So do not lie in bed too long
And know that you are enough

The sound of chirping soon to hush
As evening falls to a lonely dusk
Buzzing sounds only left to stay
Trees slowly waver as the sun slips away
The air is still
As if there is no feeling
Only me in this moment
I can finally start breathing

I find it hard to talk sometimes
As if the thoughts had escaped my mind
Past the endless cerulean skies
And through the knots of time
Instead, I write
So that you can understand
What is going on inside
Sometimes I just wish that you could read my mind

Desolate December
Can't seem to remember
Death loomed the bend
Life could not mend
Darkness took the moon away
It stole my heart and consumed the day
Now the year ends
And as hollow as it feels
I can see light on the horizon

She had crashed
And stumbled into a cave
Escaping the straining sun
She wept for what was no more
And what was yet to come
Her angel wings were gone with the wind
Her voice was sorely lost

Hollow were her eyes
When she decided
I am truly numb

Unraveling like string
My mind slips away
The stars have been falling
But no wishes are to be made
What a wonderful world
Not a thing seems to change
It will rain again soon
But not for today

He could not see the sinful sun
The moon had stole his heart
Dreaming of another day
Where time had fell apart
A land of love and a tender touch
It would not forever last
These dreams are nightmares
You must wake up
You must accept the past

Loneliness is an empty street
Void of life
The street lights fleet
Houses crumble and rot away
Empty nights make nothing days
Where nothing is
Something will grow
But for now
This night will haunt my soul

In silence she found her peace
It lay between the stars and her dreams

Lost in some nonsense
I sense I lost something when it rained
This ink means nothing
When these thoughts will not leave my brain
Pain will feel endless
Until the end has found my way
Maybe one day I will sit and watch as the lilies slowly decay

Sometimes you just sit there
And I do not know what to say
My heart loses focus and tries to run away

Grey is the falling sky
My mind has gone awry
A sudden horrid rush fills my lungs
Storm clouds surround my mind
Is this a normal thing?
Or is this just to be alive
No words have come into place
But that is okay because you can read my eyes

I do not usually smile
But when I see you
It is hard not to
Because you are like a dream come true
You have a picturesque smile
And eyes as bright as the moon
You are beautiful
I wish the whole world knew

There is one light in my room
Surrounded by darkness
But within that light lies a beautiful voice
Which is entangled in kindness
When she speaks
My heart follows
It makes me feel glee
I love to talk to you
And think about what we could be

She sees the colour
In a world I thought I knew
I see dark greys
And scattershot blues

When I see her smile
It lights up my room

I trip on my insecurities
But when I am talking to you
I think I understand the world
And its colourful view

These words do not always come
Sometimes they do not even appear
But they are there
Buried in the subconscious
Colour is easy to write about
'Roses are pretty
And violets are blue
The stars look lovely too'
But what is fading is ignored
Death is sad
And wilted roses turn grey
Soon enough they will all be thrown away
Just like everything else
We will all be discarded
These words
These thoughts
Which are buried so deep
Will be taken to our graves

Your tears were empty
In the depths of night
It was only us and the moon
As you looked in my eyes that one last time
I felt the loneliness loom

Her eyes were forever
Trapped in a horrid abyss
She could not escape
Or so she thought
As the scarlet ink left her wrist

Tears rolled down her cheek
And dropped by her blemished feet
She hoped it was not too late
She even wondered that maybe it was fate

But even in the deepest depths of the darkest nights
A light will prevail
And lead the way
She did not realise it yet
Until night-time had gone away
When the darkness had fallen victim to a bright sunny day

Is that all I was worth?
A note
Some words
Ink on a ripped-out diary page

'I feel lost'
So you said
Now I feel lost in my head
How could I be so naive
To think we could have ever been

When you said 'I do not love you'
My heart shattered
Now it feels like nothing matters
I just wish you could have said
So long ago
Because now I feel empty
And my dreams are all hollow

Words can only say so much
Eyes can show much more
They tell people what you want to say
There is no need to talk at all

In silence
Eyes can speak truths long unheard
About your deepest pain
Your dreams and desires
What you love and aspire
Your eyes can lead the way

A smile enveloped in moonlight
Took the pain from my eyes
I took her hand and we let go of our minds

Timeless
It seems
I get lost in my dreams