Sometimes I find myself alone,
Usually, I feel sad,
Most of the time my mood is upset,
After the evening, I feel depressed,
Rest of the time drugs keep me dizzy,
Don't you think I am little stressed?

THIS IS A LONELY PLANNET WITH SCAR AND RASHES,
BUT WHY WORRY THE PASSAGE LEADS ASHES TO ASHES !!

Strike me as you would a match,
against the surfaces of your skin.
Not once, but many times
Until we catch fire.

Words spinning around
I'm now in the labyrinth of my head

reminiscing my first kiss with whom I barely know
in her room half naked
She says nothing, but her thought are as if they're hand in hand to mine

electrocuting every fibre of my body
I feel hazy about the times I spent with her,
yet I vividly remember every words she had spoken

She now speaks bout a little river she used to go with her first love, but when will she tell me the words?

I see now, I see that her fire was put out

That pure innocent smile,
Your childish face and that side profile,
Your silky hair and that perfect hairstyle,
Would never forget you.
**** I miss you!

The touch of your smooth skin,
That beautiful little chin,
Your blushy cheeks and that grin,
Still I adore you.
**** I miss you!

Those big dope eyes,
That Stupid nose ,
Those size 7 feet and pinky toes.
Your medications and Ayurvedic dose.
Wish again to feel you.
**** I miss you!

Baby I still remember,
that freezy December,
The day we fell off the scooter,
Your stupid buggy computer.
Our first date and the perfect kiss,
That raining night we spent in balcony
When you burnt the toast and macrony,
That birthday card you made me,
Helping in projects and assignments,
You taking care when I got sick,
I recall all those perfect memories of you,
still there's a place for you,
**** I miss you!

I wish you would have waited,
I would have come back,
But I can't blame you,
It was me who needed the space,
The fault is my OWN!
So I am the one left ALONE! :'(

Let me tell you a secret nobody knows

I'm insecure, I hate myself, I don't see myself pretty, I'm a mess
Mess up in the head
Standing in front of you, my mind keeps on running and running and running away
From logic and reason I wish I have now

I'm under this great pressure I made myself
I can't lift it up, it just keep on, in on, in on crashing every faith in myself
and chain every part of me
Blinding my eyes
Sealing my mouth
Killing me slowly inside
And I can't breath seeing my reflection in the mirror
I'm sick of it

I keep on saying, I keep on screaming
I keep on crying, I keep on wishing
I keep on praying to be like them
but even the shooting star can't change that

How do you run from what's in your head?

I can't free myself from my insecurities
I'm embarrassed, I've become a mess, I've become a hater
It keeps on destroying myself inside
and I can't take it out of my mind

Every second, every minute, every moment of my life
Is slowly becoming something my jealousy made
I started to hate myself
I started to hate the people I'm jealous of

Because I want to be like them  
Pretty, Confident, Intelligent, Proud and Shinning
Everything I ever wanted, but I can never be like them, I can never be them
I'm like an unfit puzzle piece of the society I want to fit in

My jealousy, my insecurities made me into someone I despise
Hatred for myself runs in my veins
Everything I stand for just disappeared into the oblivion
like bubbles disappearing  into the thin air

And I'm becoming trap in my own twisted world without realizing it
As it drowns me, pulling me with its current to the darkness of my tainted mind
Its just a matter of time I might breakdown

Everyday I keep on telling myself be strong, be strong, be strong
stop being insecure, but I don't have the strength to do it
I don't have the courage to tell it to my friends, to my family
I'm dying inside- I want them to see through me
and when I lie - I'm fine they'll believe it without a doubt

I want to share it to the world, but I can't help myself to lie, to push everyone away - I've become a fool
I know it sounds crazy, I myself don't know why
I just want people to realize I need help without me telling them

I want them to save me from my own tainted mind full of insecurities

I want you to save me from my own tainted mind full of insecurities

Can you do it?
Because I can't.