Getting my thoughts together
I wonder what it takes
To bring together all the emotions that flood inside of me
That can barely scratch the surface.

When I see people able to pen their thoughts
I struggle to understand, how they can
Cause for me, words are puny translators
for they cannot even fathom, the burst of what I feel inside

Even though I close my eyes and try to remember
What I was going to write, Words clearly fail me
and I drift on to distant shores

It seems just like yesterday when you held my hand
And my eyes beheld your love so clearly
Deeply embedded within my heart
I could feel your tangibility though physically miles apart.

I struggle with words and this is something new
Cause I never felt a loss of words before
For something that I always knew.

Knowing you is still not sufficient,
cause I feel so much I need to know
It is funny how I know you inwardly
though externally, there none to show.

You may speak your words of pretense
And set up a strong defense
But I know you truly and what you are longing for

You want a word of comfort
You desire a moment of joy
You desire to find a friend
Who would comfort you day and night

You need someone to supplement
The burst of emotions you feel
You are so trapped because
you don't know how to heal.

Come walk into my arms
Cause I am waiting for you
Gather you tenderly and shelter you anew.

But you see, this is exactly what I fear
Cause my words may not be that clear
And betray my sense of helplessness
For the choice of words I use!

You've done it again! Time and again
First hook and then reel
Then hurt and release
Lay the blame squarely on me

You take me for a fool
A gullible idiot!
Who'll swallow your lies
And buy your story each time

I am not part of your life anymore
but  I need to get on with mine
So be sure to burn the bridges
Cause I am not turning back anytime.

You will always do what it takes
To hold my heart ransom
Cause that's such a causal approach
It doesn't take much to strategize

I struggled each day and night
To swallow my pain and get on
But depression sunk its deadly hooks
My flesh was skinned and bare
My groaning heard none
Cause outwardly I appeared just fine.

But you conveniently forgot what u had done
And walked back without a care
For a doormat you take me
So can you step on my despair

You think I am waiting around
For you to do the same things again
Forgive you, for your wrongs and
get back from where we left?

Change your thinking!
Cause that's never gonna happen
I have forgiven, but forgotten not
I cannot forget or let go
For your lessons are deeply entrenched
And well learn't
One that has a lasting impression
My mind wont let it go.

Subconsciously I know your capacity
to hurt me time and again
Cause you feed on my feelings
To supplement the ones you lack

Grow up, own up, about time u realized.
You can't play me and think its fine!

Each day when I think of the way you hurt me
when my heart wrenches in pain.
I think of what I did to deserve this
When u know that there was no other way.

I don’t know why u can hold my heart ransom
Crush it with unkind gesture of yours
When I loved you so truly and madly and
didn’t think even once of the loss

U see it is I who stand to loose from what you’ve done
Cause for me there can be no one
not after what you have done
The doors of my heart have closed forever
Never will these open again for anyone.

For you this was just an attempt to see if your charm worked
For me this was a soul shaker, the one that changed me forever.

I resisted every attempt of yours
For your eyes scorched me day and night
Still I bore down your charm
and stood my ground alright.

Our chemistry was in the air you see
We could never hide it from prying eyes
Any blind man could have told
they way we looked into each others eyes.

I fought and resisted you for long
And thought I was strong
Till that fateful day when
I decided I would have it my way

But fate would wish another way
For the day I decide to part
That was the very day I lost my heart.

Your fun and jokes and childish pranks
Your endless teasing had me in splits
You knew very well that
it was beginning to grow in you as well.
A strange feeling of falling head over heels.

We were one and we did not need those words
Until you started expecting me to cross my limits
Limits I had set long ago, and you knew
I would never never cross them for anyone.

What did you want me to say, say that I love you
I already did it a million times
Didn’t my eyes say it all.
You knew you felt it too.
But now, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.

I am done with the deciphering
I am done with your cold ways
I am done with your pushing me around
I am never going to stay that way

For all that could have been done is done and over
My Lord, my energy’s drained and u have run me over.

I wept and cried and wondered why I deserved this fate.
You see miscommunication is to blame that closed the gate

For I cannot reconcile the same heart that rent sweet words
were tossing me out cold and dry.

I could not let u go for you were the sweetest thing my eyes beheld,
and I did love u truly, but you’ll never understand.

Its over now..what a mess!
The only prayer that escapes my lips

May our paths never cross again!
For I cannot afford loose my heart again.

Never doesn’t last very long

There is a place outside society
Where I want spend my residual years

There is a place outside religion
Where I want to worship my gods

There is a place outside art
Where I want to donate my heart

And maybe I'll be happy
Maybe I won't but it's better than this

There's a place where is doesn’t smell like teen spirit
Where people have got summer time happiness
As for identity, we transcend it.

Never doesn’t last very long

There's a place where outsiders go to fit in
There's a place where wannabes go to be an artist’s muse
There's a place where the devout go to sin
There's a place where protesters go to use
There's a place where individuals go to be the same
There's a place where fighters go to become lovers
There's a place that makes celebrity inane

I never want to be like that
I never want to fit in
I never want to be type cast
I never want to be a stereotype
I will never be what I don’t want to be

But

Never doesn't last very long

I lay my head on your heart
I hear your heart beat so close
The sound of your breathing fills my senses
The sound of heart beating strokes my soul

Why do I feel this connection?
Like the universe is in your arms
When enveloped by your senses
I seem to loose my calm

How peaceful and one I feel
with you truly by my side!
The power of the feelings you evoke
The connectedness I feel with you so sublime!

The words you are saying
are born inside my heart
but the script is on your tongue
Our hearts are so welded
that the language of love is one.