Where has gone the lands we knew?
Of waving grass and glistening dew
All fallen to the housing plan
Devised by an educated city man
Educated!!!!
Those once green green fields and woodland tracts
Have succumbed to bulldozer blades and felling axe
No more the places where as kids we played
On those beautiful sunlit days
Now landfill sites and city dumps
Cover the places where we once ate a picnic lunch
Gone are the fields and woodland glades
Where we once spent our sun filled days

i dream of foggy bliss
a floating lagging sort of luxury
reminiscent of drug induced
bubbly bogus happiness

In perpetual solitude I linger in the shadows.
Fragmented in which pieces to me are unbeknownst... unrecognisable.

Am I who I was or am I nothing but a memory of what I once were? Something other than me. A corrupted part of my insanity.

Maybe I am nothing more than lifeless flesh, rotting in perpetual solitude.

i always feel this constant need to be relevant,
to have people noticing me
or talking about me,
i want to be on everyone's mind
and, when i'm not, i feel like
i'm going to fall off
the face of the earth
with no one to pick me up
when i'm broken and bruised,
no one to care
because i'm not relevant enough
to be known,

it's this sinking feeling in my stomach
that makes me feel like i'm not good enough,
that people don't actually like me,
so i fall into these moods
where i feel as if i annoy everyone
and i know i shouldn't be clingy,
and i hate myself for it every second,

but i can't help that i feel so alone in this world
that i need the attention of others,
to feel alive again,
to see color in my own black and white world

Call me drunk,
But im stumbling sober.
Call me mad,
But ive allways been alone.
In the end I'll  be dead  by late october,
I hope my soul wanders  far from home

I Never imagined this.
Everyday I'm getting older.
This California weather and myself both just got a little colder.
Deja vu.
My whole body see through.
Don't even want to go outside anymore.
Wishing and living Godspeed for my existence.
I'm far from perfect, which is why I can only speak to and relate to the lost and distant.
I Love You Through Everything will get my back consistent.
I've been a historical disaster for longer than this instant.
I had to leave before the summer was over.
Pack my bags along with my heart and threw it over my should.
Move forward.
Find yourself.
A cross between being too emotional and being emotionless.
Bottle it all up and put it in the cold keep safe is all I know to not crash the ship.
But defense wins championships.
Make it to what feels so close.
To only find out I'm loosening my grip.
Can't even trip.
Pick up the pieces.
No Life in November, that's the feeling and date ironically the thesis.
I lost a lot.
I need more.
I need more drink.
Need more ice.
They say take chances in life so for once I rolled the dice.
But I lost one major but I'll forever at least try to fight and stand tall.
Was I working too hard?
Not enough...
Or not at all?

Suicide sounds sweet
Suicide & I should meet
Suicide is the type of guy to talk me right to sleep.

It wasn't always this way
For years I prayed
Like a wheeping half beaten slave

When I sleep
I see their faces
When I speak
I'm doing so for them
Cause without them
There would be no
Where I am.

There would be no me
& this world without me is just
Plain ol' boring
I'll pick myself up in the morning
Guess I missed suicides appointment