Is everything the way you thought before?
Has nothing changed,
The lessons learnt
Forgotten the very next day?
Is perspective still the same way
The memory is disappearing
Life is moving on
Time won't slow down
Am i still the old me,
I dont feel changed at all.

I haven't been myself since a long time
I've been lost since the day I was born
Looking into things to find myself
I've forgotten to look what is inside
The conscience has now gone silent
The light inside has gone dim
In this life ride, I've run after manufactured dreams
The world has designed and defined
What success and happiness should mean
But the words never have seen to come true
I've wasted many seconds, I have lost years infact
Believing the lies I've been listening throughout life
To find happiness, I've sacrificed the peace of mind
There is no way I'll find
What I seek if I continue ahead with this path
Look inside, find the divine
It is obvious, the answer is me
but, who am I?
why?

Forbidden fruit is it mine to take ?
I’ll take a bite and gain my pains
The cost of shame is surely
worth it ?
But shame leaves me down and broken

I surely do know what to do
I know what I’ll choose but this do you ?
I’ll reach my arm out just to try
I’ll reach my arm out just to die

Im naked now what should I do ?
Shall I die or shall I look ?
What have I done ? Look now I know
That it wasn’t worth, not to myself
Forbidden fruit such a beauty
Forbidden fruit is surely forbidden

A serpent coming in and out
The serpent’s looking interesting now
Serpent tell me what you have to say ?
Serpent tell me who am I again ?

Looking for a likeness I already had
Identity crisis made me fall
Stupid serpent now is cursed
But who is more cursed now, me or both ?

Forbidden fruit not mine to take
Forbidden fruit I’ll never want to have again

I am someone who doesn’t know himself after all these years.
I am someone who has unknown fears.
I am someone who wants to express without being vocal.
I am someone who wants to share, without being social.
I am someone who doesn’t care but still cares.
I am someone who looks harsh but has emotional layers.
I am someone who enjoys loneliness, the company of his own.
I am someone who connects and stares through the phone.
I am someone who wants to travel roads and miles.
I am someone whose life is entangled in files.
I am someone who dreams like a child.
I am someone who acts weird and wild.
I am a human, a mere human I am.
This is who I am, I have no shame.

1/2/20

Waiting for this is like watching someone,
Who’s struggling to lift heavy objects.
Knowing there’s work to be done.
But I’m defiant, as when a mob objects.

I see exactly what I dislike in me,
I guess, maybe I could toss it out.
Motivation comes so slowly,
But small steps are how you start.

So I’ll show you who I am,
But I’ll keep the darkest inside.
I’ll hold it back like the Hoover Dam.
Oh, how long can I go on looking dignified?

I’m in the middle of a drought,
In denial, I hold onto every drop.
Yet I haven’t figured it out,
That emotions aren’t meant to stop.

So I’ll give myself a chance,
I’ll give kindness a try.
I’ll surrender like France,
I’ll give into love and comply.

What is my own goodness?
But like a pile of wet leaves,
Or worshipping a false goddess,
Fruitless, like unsuccessful thieves.

Who am I? Who do I want to be?
I know who I was; I’m glad it’s in the past.
Yet these pains, I’ve gotten nowhere, you see?
Just when I thought I’d see the end at last.

When will I stop talking,
And move into danger’s range?
When will I stop writing,
And begin this wretched change?

Pinpoint the star
deep in the ocean
or is it the sea?
Gazing, from afar,
cannot be found—
Lost in between
Two names;
Home is nowhere.