Forbidden fruit is it mine to take ?
I’ll take a bite and gain my pains
The cost of shame is surely
worth it ?
But shame leaves me down and broken

I surely do know what to do
I know what I’ll choose but this do you ?
I’ll reach my arm out just to try
I’ll reach my arm out just to die

Im naked now what should I do ?
Shall I die or shall I look ?
What have I done ? Look now I know
That it wasn’t worth, not to myself
Forbidden fruit such a beauty
Forbidden fruit is surely forbidden

A serpent coming in and out
The serpent’s looking interesting now
Serpent tell me what you have to say ?
Serpent tell me who am I again ?

Looking for a likeness I already had
Identity crisis made me fall
Stupid serpent now is cursed
But who is more cursed now, me or both ?

Forbidden fruit not mine to take
Forbidden fruit I’ll never want to have again

I am someone who doesn’t know himself after all these years.
I am someone who has unknown fears.
I am someone who wants to express without being vocal.
I am someone who wants to share, without being social.
I am someone who doesn’t care but still cares.
I am someone who looks harsh but has emotional layers.
I am someone who enjoys loneliness, the company of his own.
I am someone who connects and stares through the phone.
I am someone who wants to travel roads and miles.
I am someone whose life is entangled in files.
I am someone who dreams like a child.
I am someone who acts weird and wild.
I am a human, a mere human I am.
This is who I am, I have no shame.

1/2/20

Waiting for this is like watching someone,
Who’s struggling to lift heavy objects.
Knowing there’s work to be done.
But I’m defiant, as when a mob objects.

I see exactly what I dislike in me,
I guess, maybe I could toss it out.
Motivation comes so slowly,
But small steps are how you start.

So I’ll show you who I am,
But I’ll keep the darkest inside.
I’ll hold it back like the Hoover Dam.
Oh, how long can I go on looking dignified?

I’m in the middle of a drought,
In denial, I hold onto every drop.
Yet I haven’t figured it out,
That emotions aren’t meant to stop.

So I’ll give myself a chance,
I’ll give kindness a try.
I’ll surrender like France,
I’ll give into love and comply.

What is my own goodness?
But like a pile of wet leaves,
Or worshipping a false goddess,
Fruitless, like unsuccessful thieves.

Who am I? Who do I want to be?
I know who I was; I’m glad it’s in the past.
Yet these pains, I’ve gotten nowhere, you see?
Just when I thought I’d see the end at last.

When will I stop talking,
And move into danger’s range?
When will I stop writing,
And begin this wretched change?

Pinpoint the star
deep in the ocean
or is it the sea?
Gazing, from afar,
cannot be found—
Lost in between
Two names;
Home is nowhere.

I didn't call anyone
I never did asked for help
Now I'm looking in the mirror
I barley recognize myself

Who am i
But a speck of dust
Buried between a dessert
And a world to large to perceive

She asked me, Who are you?
I responded, What do you mean?
My headed and thoughts thickened and clouded over;
Who am I?
Have I lost touch of all the wonderful blocks that build me
    to me?
Have I lost the emotions and roots that created me
    to be me?
I know I have found her before,
once or  twice when alone and happy and free,
but now I've morphed into, just me.
Then I think, all these things I think are me,
are they me?
Or are they what others see in me?
Have I morphed into a "What you see me"?
People say I am warm and bright,
but all I can ask is who are you?
Are you changing? Are you sliding by?
Who do you want to be vs. who were you?
I'm Claire.
I'm unfiltered,
I'm easy going,
I'm nervous but adventurous,
I'm authentic and open with everyone,
When I love you, I LOVE you
    and when I hate you, I just don't care about you anymore.
I'm so open I hurt deeply,
I'm selfish
   but I think everyone should be in some ways.
I always see another side,
I'm dramatic but I shy from frienship and relationship drama
I don't belong to one mold, I'm always changing and shifting
I'm an imaginer and not much of a do-er,
I'm a listener,
God respecter.
I find it funny, my whole life my parents said,
"You're unique", but never said why or how to use this "uniqueness".
I just grew up thinking, "I'm unique" but I still don't know why.
I'm pretty much like everyone else I think,
I feel, I love, I see, I react.
I change so much in a day its hard to focus on who I'm being in one moment.
I don't know who I am,
I really don't even know who I want to be,
I just want to be better than I am now.