When we don't do
what we want to;
See how we do
What we have to ;

So should we do
What we have to?
Like we can do
What we want to ;

Or just do
And get over with it
And wait
To do that same rut

Or fight within
And end up
Doing none of what
You should have done
And
Cry aloud
For sooner or later
You ll have to do
What you had to
But not what you want to

O god
What to do?

We often do
A lot of things
To undo
Things we did

That's so messed up
Right?
Do it
to
undo that
And sometimes undo all
that -You did
to undo that -you did earlier

Sounds a horrible vicious cycle
Ain't it
But trust me it's worse
When you do it
And even more terrifying
When you know
You did it

So what I ll do
Is something new
And not think about it
Will do and just do.

God
Will that do?

it's me.
the real me.
leaving without evidence.
leaving as if nothing happened.
It's me.
don't worry.
in a situation like this, I have to put on something useful.
to ease the pain.
to forget my mistakes.
wearing it again.
it feels nostalgic.
the mask.
very useful.
pretending.
show the fake until everything is normal again.
.
.
.
painful.
deep inside my heart is beating painfully.
i can't expect anything anyway.
It's not something I have to fight.
I'm just expecting....
expecting too much.
And it hurts. it hurts so much that I feel numb.
same pain for the last years - the pain of leaving.
no, maybe the pain of being unloved, insecure, ignored and.....
Maybe i love him so much that leaving is the hardest thing to do now.
If I will not do the right thing, I'll just feel this pain over and over again.
or let this mistake become right??

what to do? what to do?

..    
                    I                                Li
                 ke                                Li
                 ste                                ni
         ng   To                       Music
      In A Vo                  lume So Hi
    gh That I                  Can't Hear  
     My Own                      Thoughts.
                              ­                              

Or so I think...