I began to understand what it was to be a sand castle... sure it would have the sun shine upon it... but it's so weak and fragile, each small sand grain trying to hold each other together in one structure. Trying to hold together when gravity is bearing down, the wind is blowing hard and the tide is bearing in... And slowly slowly... every grain of sand begins to separate. Slowly slowly it begins to lose itself...
It was already hard facing so many difficulties but now it has to face a bigger difficulty, having to pull itself back together again. And it isn't hard to pull the pieces gravity separated back to the heart of the structure, no. It's hard to pull together pieces that were taken into the depths of the seas (and not the oceans) and the pieces that were blown to great lengths by the winds... and so when the sand castle finally did pull back together it found pieces of itself missing... not knowing that when it exposed itself whether willingly or unwillingly, knowingly or unknowingly, to such harsh situations... that it would be changed forever.

Weakness is a nuisance that travels
alongside everyone,
similar to the skin on their very backs-
It holds you down when you need to fly
and keeps you there in that
dark place
that you have tried so hard to escape from.
It turns those always-glimmering eyes
Into lumps of coal sunken in your face;
It rearranges that toothy grin into a less
than impressive frumpy slant
plastered below your nose.
Oh, don't you see? It turns your gleaming
aura into a dark, black vortex of emptiness.
Weakness is a nuisance that consumes you-
weakness is you.

kryptonite
          is what you are to me
of all the things around,
          you’re my weakness,
          the only one i see

being who i am
          is one of the best things to be
especially when i have you
          right here beside me

i am nothing but the noontime shadow She leaves behind.
sometimes we coalesce into each other. for a fleeting moment I feel alive—
then i am nothing to Her again. nothing to anyone.
everyone loves Her, and
i am not Her.
they do not see her forked tongue like they do the faces she puts on.
they see me and say i am quite like Her.
i almost take it as a compliment.

'I think I am fine' — repeat as you grow surer and surer.

1.) That the world will not end.
2.) That you will be laughing, if it does.
3.) That you are indeed fine,

even if you are weeping, even if you are sure the inky black sky is about to fall through; this is not the house you grew up in, here are not your parents, and this time you can take care of yourself. Start with empty lungs in an empty bedroom and shaky breaths. Start with uncertain footsteps. I told you, that is not the earth shaking. Not today. Instead, what if i said it was something new growing inside you?  Something green, something leafy. rearranging your insides, finding space. Let the air in, let it rattle your caged heart like a breeze will tussle with an open window. Pause. This is breathing. Next is laughing. Back to crying... but without the shrieks. Start with quickly getting up and move on to slowly getting better. Start with a splash of water, your toes on the sand on the beach again. Touch your tears that taste like saltwater. I am going to be fine, I know. Tomorrow I will be me again (the me i wanna be). Tomorrow. A day in a string of neverending tomorrows.

She gives everything he wants,
in the name of love.

I hold my hands up to my face
Yet the demons following me in this ordinary place
I cry tears upon tears
As I know I am unable to face my fears
I rub my eyes
as my make up smears
In front of me
my demons appear

My voice cracks
as I try to speak,
They know my weakness,
Weakness of being unable to speak
I take two steps
pushing My demons out-of-the-way
My thoughts of doubt are downplayed
So Away my demons stay

Upon me are the golden doors
Where all you ever wanted is yours
In ignorance I have fallen for it again
The dreams ends right then.