"Pain is weakness leaving the body."


- Evan Huang

Once stood a girl at 4 feet tall
With hair of gold and imperfections so small
I knew this girl deeply as she was infact me
I watched her flourish like blossom on a tree
This girl of eleven was naive inside
She felt truly safe as she gazed at the tide
I'm sorry sweet girl that what i will say is true
You were robbed of your child hood before you knew
You felt so afraid of what he had planned
But you followed his requests and every demand
You were beaten and broken and hurt beyond repair
For a while you were not present, you were in despair
The man didn't think that once was enough
He dismantled you slowly calling your bluff
And now you lay sobbing in a warm pool of blood
Removing the pain from the inside flood
Sweet girl I know that this pain will now shape you
I'm sorry you felt like there was never a breakthrough
You were stuck in this time zone for far too long
I'll help you escape without doing you wrong
Your dignity was gone and for that you would grieve
But your ability to do so was taken by others in need.

I cant fight any more.... I'm done.
My own mind assaults me and it knows my weaknesses.
The gaping wounds in my thoughts are constantly re-opened.
I wonder which side of sanity I live on and I despair....
What if I am sane?
What if this is reality and my vision clear?
My refuge then must surely be insanity?
Or am I already there?

If you could choose between
losing yourself and discovering
the deepest parts of your soul with
their weakness, fragilities and fears,
what will your choice be eventually?
And if you go for the first one,
will you walk in the streets
like an empty body looking lost
among humans whom souls you
cannot and do not want to touch?
And if you go for the second one
will you have the strength to fight
the demons who will come at night?
Will you see your soul while looking
in the mirror and recognize it as yours
in its whole being, with its scars?
If you could be whole, would
you still choose to be a half?