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jas Feb 2018
my eyes burn from the urging sensation of a tear being held back
screaming to come out
and lumps in my throat I cannot seem to utter out a word
or even a breath, at that.
I've almost forgotten how to feel on account of the walls around my heart that are built up so tall.
strength holds them together but there is a slight crack in the corner,
you just might miss it.
but if you look real closely with not only your eyes but your own mind, you just might see it.
and once inside that crack the walls crumble to the bottom, so effortlessly
im vulnerable.
I do not like this feeling
its torture, really.
as I struggle to fight it , I realize that I have lost my strength
im broken
these tears in the back of my eyes have made its way onto my face
streaming warmly down to fall on my shirt
its not that I have given up on love , its that I've given in
I've allowed myself to get hurt once more
another tragedy in a page of my book
so these tears may run out soon enough
but in this moment
I will shed these tears
of hurt

I can only blame myself
Sabila Siddiqui Feb 2018
Bathrooms became sanctuary in high school;
with tear stained countertops,
gossip soaked walls.
Even the constipated souls
had motion.

Pressing their hands against the ceramic demilune sinks
they would let their tears flow like water through the faucet,  
until they found comfort in the arms of another.

Hours spent before, between and after classes
they found comfort and friends
in the conversation that flowed in the bathroom.

Checking themselves over and over again
with the reassuring voices, “you look great” from behind.
Some walk in and hide behind the door of the lavatory stalls,
flushing away sadness,
and washing on a smile on to their face.

Like the granite in the slabs, the memories made
will will be hard to wear off.
The memories made through raw conversation in the bathroom
Silverthorn Feb 2018
This is the color of my walls at eight am
a little light a little dark a little I don’t know if I want to try yet.
“Just say they’re yellow,” I am told.
Secretly, I think they doubt that too, that sometimes they wake up and see the not-yellow.

This is the color of my walls at midnight
a mess of thoughts, making a Gogh at it. I think maybe there’s a little red mixed in sometimes.
“They’re not red,” I am told, again.
How could they know, do they watch my walls at night? I wouldn’t mind the company.

This is the color of my walls at eleven am
a cave I wish I’d never tried to leave at eight am, a cave of moss and wood and rivers.
“No plants grow, no waters flow in there,” I am told.
I can’t hear them, because I am in a cave and the water is rushing too loudly.

This is the color of my walls at three thirty pm
just a little bit like sleeping, more like a cocoon, nothing at all like leaving.
“The walls are dead,” I am told.
But maybe they just wish they were, so they wouldn’t have to listen to their colours.

This is the color of my walls at this time
maybe pulling, maybe pushing. I think that one is yawning, that one sighing
“Don’t listen to the things walls say,” I am told.
Aha, so they HAVE heard them too. My walls make them miss the colors of their walls. Aha.
DancingEnt Feb 2018
I hear of the walls
others have built
to keep you out
but you knocked mine d o w n

I'll let you in
and we can build
our own Safe Haven
I push people away a lot. I don't let them in.
Someone special though, has knocked all those walls down
And I couldn't be happier that he did
dorian green Jan 2018
My resolve gave way under the burden of her touch.
The walls meant to protect me from heartbreak twice over
must've come from Jericho, the way they cracked and crumbled
around me, sending me tumbling unprepared into feeling once more.

Rubble remains however;
the fear innate within me makes itself known,
doubts following my heart wherever it dare go.
I can't help but think: when the walls of Jericho fell,
how many died from suffocation alone?

My asphyxiated heart beats with this anxiety, telling me
I am to suffer the common human millstone.
I am doomed to love too much yet never enough.
The tragic truth of my heart, burdened to be so easily let go.
Mister J Jan 2018
I once surrounded myself
With emotional walls and checks
Hiding behind my insecurities
Shielding myself from all responsibility

It came to a point when
It grew completely out of control
It left me isolated in my own world
It left me disconnected from reality

But then you came
You
Who went in with a wrecking ball
Smashing all those stone and iron walls
Peeling layer by layer of me
Leaving me exposed to vulnerability

For the first time in my life
A whole new world opened for me
You took my hand by surprise
And led me out of my cage
You removed all my shackles
Destroyed all my chains
You flipped my world upside down
And loved me in all my nakedness

You
Whose love showed me a new paradise
By leading me out of my comfort zone
Who made my heartbeats go wild
And boosts my adrenaline every single second of my life

You
You are the sunshine
To my cold life
The weakness in my veins
And the strength in my muscles
You are the air in my lungs
The reason I wake up each morning
The reason I sleep soundly at night
The courage in my heart
And the reason in my mind
You are a whole new world for me
Whom I want to share my own world with too
You are the world that I never knew
And the world that I want to keep on exploring every single second of the day

I love you
Thanks for reading. :)
Rocky Jan 2018
What is this wall?
And where did it come from?
Why is blocking my brain and not letting my mouth speak?
I'll tear it down
I will destroy it
Then my mouth will tell you how you make me weak

Oh I see your wall is up too
I can see by the things you don't say
Every question I ask
And every question you ignore
Is another brick for your foundation
I can see your wall is actually a mask

I'll cover my face with a mask as well
I will let it hide every single smile that you accidentally evoke
This mask works wonders, can you tell?
I've been smiling since you've been here
Looking closer i think your mask might be broke.

You're mask isn’t hiding your eyes
Your eyes are all I need to see
Now i'm lost again staring at your face
It’s hypnotizing
I’m hypnotized  
Oh wait you're mask just turned into space.

Giving space is easy I can do that with no problem
I'll take a thousand steps backwards
With all this space why isn't there anywhere to hide?
**** no barriers, I can still see you
Even as a shadow you're still beautiful
Your space is working perfect, your space is a million miles wide

I can see your shadowy silhouette
Your hair dancing around your body
I need my hands on you, I need to make this walk
I'll take a thousand steps closer
Close enough to touch
There isn't any more space but now there is this lock

Fine, here is my lock
I won't let you in if I can't
And nothing can be opened without a key
A key I guess you never had
A key you never asked for
maybe this is will be better for me?

Your lock is massive
Strong and durable
And there is gum in the keyhole
Why am I trying to break through, if you don't want me to
No more lock, just a wall with a peephole

A wall with a hole
What good is this for?
I guess it’s nice to be able to see you
Hopefully i'll be able to catch your eye sometime?
Can you feel me always watching?
I realize i need something new

Your peephole is always empty
There is never an eye looking back at me
Why would there be?
All these moments give me hope
Why does hope do this?
Why is hope is killing me?

I will cover this hole in my wall
I know i created this wall for me
This wall will keep my brain from letting my heart speak
I'll leave it up
I’ll cherish it
Then my mouth will never tell you how you make me weak
Ryan Holden Jan 2018
I try to talk to you but
my soul just turns to steel,
this happens whenever I
Try tell you how I feel -
about
you.
Rooh Jan 2018
I'd grab the silver clouds between your hair,
I know how you used to laugh as they tickled your ears.
You'd pluck the stars from above and decorate my frizzy hair.
I'd breathe in the moonlight, you'd hug me by my chest to feel the warm illumination.

Now, I am still here, sitting between the sheets with black clouds in my hands.
The stars are looking at my frizzy hair that now has countless knots.
And the moonlight? No...
My frozen chest no longer yearns for warmth.
A broken heart defensive,
Shaken to the core.

My walls went up, Came down,
And went up once more,

After her my walls impregnable,
I built my heart of steel,

Until you,
Your enchanting gaze shattered any concept of holding back,
My walls crumbled and destroyed forever.

Now years past you left me bare,
My heart so broken to leave me in this hellish glare,

Once again I raised my walls,
But yet they fall.

Mortar made from tears cannot hold a heart,
Walls no more,
I've fallen apart.

~Robert van Lingen
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