you Wait
until you feel like you again

i'm still
Waiting

Some color themselves blue,
Blowing 'till they've no breath.
Others just pull out the fluff
And throw their wish heavily to the earth.
But then there are those who sit and wait
And the breeze gently carries the seedlings away
Granting that wish which lay unknowingly on their heart.

They say loving someone who doesn't feel the same way is similar to waiting for a ship to dock at an airport. But I've been through many ***** with you and I'm not yet ready to give you up, and despite how many times we've fought, we've only learned how to make up right before it gets out of hand but you start to say you'd like to break up, and i shut
      you
           up
with my lips, and whenever we kiss, there's this immense rush, then I start to touch you in places you'd not want me to stop.

So yeah I'd wait at this airport, and hope your ship takes a u-turn, and hope you don't keep me waiting for too long.

My dad would always warn me to be careful when falling in love;
I fall too quickly for my own good.

So on the days leading up to the moment you arrived,
I made sure I steadied my footing,
readying myself for the moment I would.
I could tell I was going to.
I wanted to be prepared.

But as I stood in that airport, my knees were already trembling.
It seemed as though the moment I saw you coming down that escalator,
I lost my footing.
All of a sudden everything around me had disappeared.
All at once, I was falling.

I wondered if skydiving rivaled that thrill, and the fear.
My heart never stopped pounding.

When we got back to the car,
I kept staring at you as though you'd vanish.
My mouth grew dry with dread.
I worried I would wake any moment and all of this would have been nothing but a dream.
But I didn't, and you remained.

We stepped into my room and everything blurred.
I heard nothing but the air rushing by me as I fell harder each moment.
I turned to you, begging for clarity, and was met with a kiss.
For a moment, I could see again.
I warned you I was petrified.
You held me.

I saw the pieces of me I had lost when falling in the past come hurtling towards me as I fell.
When I woke up to you, your chestnut irises were still closed,
yet your breathing stabilized my rugged heart rate.
I was completely unaware of where the ground was,
or how hard I'd hit it,
but I savored the sight as though it were still all just a dream.

Each and every moment with you,
I feared the outcome.
I prepared myself with every aching hour for the impact.
My breathing was so unsteady, I felt on the verge of collapsing.
I closed my eyes. I couldn't let myself see what was coming.

As we sat on my bed, and you held me in your arms,
you begged me to open up.
You insisted I open my eyes,
and I fought tears as our breathing synchronized.
I could see the ground now.
The panic clawed its way out of my heart, up my throat,
and I felt my body shake as the words finally spilled out.

I braced myself.
I winced, expecting the pain.
I had anticipated every bit of me to shatter.
I was ready for there to be nothing left of me to break.

But I didn't break.

I could tell the world around me was still again,
but I wasn't on the ground.
I was not broken.
I was pieced back together, carefully.

You kissed me, breathing into me the life I thought I'd given up.
I finally opened my eyes, and as my vision focused,
there sat every piece of me I thought I had thrown away for each and every heartbreak before.
The parts of me that I had lost so long ago, that I assumed nobody would miss or remember,
sat upright, polished, and presented like precious gems.
The feeling in my body returned,
and I turned to those perfect orbs in disbelief--

you caught me.

You never let me go.

It was then that I realized that all the while I had readied myself to fall,
I had already spent my life preparing my heart for you.

So when my dad reminds me to be careful this time, I'll let him know:

I was, but I never needed to be.
You were right here all along,
waiting to catch me.

there comes a time when you go
too far
all you can do is wait
for whoever or
whatever
to catch up
so that everything can be
alright again

Deep within the ocean
I hear as waves crashing on my shore,
Sitting on this silent mountain
I'm luting a melodious chore.
With every waves I see,
I am here waiting for thee,
Find me in these silent mountains
And let us flee this utter reality.


*


Far away in the mountains
I hear thy melodious flute,
With every tune you play on the night,
Brings me a little bit closer to you.
I see the moon
And I feel the breeze
Far away in the mountains
You're waiting for me.
I float within the ocean waves,
I search for thee,
Let us escape
This utter reality.

i stare more than i talk when you're around
and hope that you don't notice
it's not my fault you leave me speechless- i'm just bad with words
it's artless adolescence

when you're gone i miss you bad and i can't cope
i'm stuck here while i wait for you

tell me it's all going to be okay
it's fine to feel this way
tell me you feel it too
and when you're away- too far away
tell me that you miss me too

you've given me the proof i need, but my brain's still a wreck
a roller coaster of cynicism
but there's hope yet, you seem to like it when i'm all choked up
that's failure at it's finest

when you're silent i miss you bad and i can't cope
i'm stuck here while i wait for you

tell me it's all going to be okay
it's fine to feel this way
tell me you feel it too
and when you're away- too far away
tell me that you miss me too

i wish i missed the weekends
but now i'm torn up a day without you here,
staring at the white walls you splattered with green
i wish i missed innocence
being able to fall asleep at night,
but i'm wide awake and i don't hate it.