My dad would always warn me to be careful when falling in love;
I fall too quickly for my own good.

So on the days leading up to the moment you arrived,
I made sure I steadied my footing,
readying myself for the moment I would.
I could tell I was going to.
I wanted to be prepared.

But as I stood in that airport, my knees were already trembling.
It seemed as though the moment I saw you coming down that escalator,
I lost my footing.
All of a sudden everything around me had disappeared.
All at once, I was falling.

I wondered if skydiving rivaled that thrill, and the fear.
My heart never stopped pounding.

When we got back to the car,
I kept staring at you as though you'd vanish.
My mouth grew dry with dread.
I worried I would wake any moment and all of this would have been nothing but a dream.
But I didn't, and you remained.

We stepped into my room and everything blurred.
I heard nothing but the air rushing by me as I fell harder each moment.
I turned to you, begging for clarity, and was met with a kiss.
For a moment, I could see again.
I warned you I was petrified.
You held me.

I saw the pieces of me I had lost when falling in the past come hurtling towards me as I fell.
When I woke up to you, your chestnut irises were still closed,
yet your breathing stabilized my rugged heart rate.
I was completely unaware of where the ground was,
or how hard I'd hit it,
but I savored the sight as though it were still all just a dream.

Each and every moment with you,
I feared the outcome.
I prepared myself with every aching hour for the impact.
My breathing was so unsteady, I felt on the verge of collapsing.
I closed my eyes. I couldn't let myself see what was coming.

As we sat on my bed, and you held me in your arms,
you begged me to open up.
You insisted I open my eyes,
and I fought tears as our breathing synchronized.
I could see the ground now.
The panic clawed its way out of my heart, up my throat,
and I felt my body shake as the words finally spilled out.

I braced myself.
I winced, expecting the pain.
I had anticipated every bit of me to shatter.
I was ready for there to be nothing left of me to break.

But I didn't break.

I could tell the world around me was still again,
but I wasn't on the ground.
I was not broken.
I was pieced back together, carefully.

You kissed me, breathing into me the life I thought I'd given up.
I finally opened my eyes, and as my vision focused,
there sat every piece of me I thought I had thrown away for each and every heartbreak before.
The parts of me that I had lost so long ago, that I assumed nobody would miss or remember,
sat upright, polished, and presented like precious gems.
The feeling in my body returned,
and I turned to those perfect orbs in disbelief--

you caught me.

You never let me go.

It was then that I realized that all the while I had readied myself to fall,
I had already spent my life preparing my heart for you.

So when my dad reminds me to be careful this time, I'll let him know:

I was, but I never needed to be.
You were right here all along,
waiting to catch me.

there comes a time when you go
too far
all you can do is wait
for whoever or
whatever
to catch up
so that everything can be
alright again

Deep within the ocean
I hear as waves crashing on my shore,
Sitting on this silent mountain
I'm luting a melodious chore.
With every waves I see,
I am here waiting for thee,
Find me in these silent mountains
And let us flee this utter reality.


*


Far away in the mountains
I hear thy melodious flute,
With every tune you play on the night,
Brings me a little bit closer to you.
I see the moon
And I feel the breeze
Far away in the mountains
You're waiting for me.
I float within the ocean waves,
I search for thee,
Let us escape
This utter reality.

i stare more than i talk when you're around
and hope that you don't notice
it's not my fault you leave me speechless- i'm just bad with words
it's artless adolescence

when you're gone i miss you bad and i can't cope
i'm stuck here while i wait for you

tell me it's all going to be okay
it's fine to feel this way
tell me you feel it too
and when you're away- too far away
tell me that you miss me too

you've given me the proof i need, but my brain's still a wreck
a roller coaster of cynicism
but there's hope yet, you seem to like it when i'm all choked up
that's failure at it's finest

when you're silent i miss you bad and i can't cope
i'm stuck here while i wait for you

tell me it's all going to be okay
it's fine to feel this way
tell me you feel it too
and when you're away- too far away
tell me that you miss me too

i wish i missed the weekends
but now i'm torn up a day without you here,
staring at the white walls you splattered with green
i wish i missed innocence
being able to fall asleep at night,
but i'm wide awake and i don't hate it.

When the books of bold close cold on you
     And the results bend nether way
With a hopeful truth speak Carpe diem
     Don’t wait to seize the day

When the months of old turn back to you
     And the dew of springtime stays
With your shoulders shake the dawn anew
     In the chaos find a way

When you’re home to pass midst summers last
     And the memories fade away
Speak Carpe diem non differas
     Don’t wait to seize the day

When your merit is tested on the field
     And the court of your kingdom sways
When your trialed life becomes the sim
     In the chaos find a way

Because you’ll never have what you have now
     And no time will ever stay
This precious, blessed, life to pass
     Don’t wait to seize the day

Her petite body sat on the bench.
She waited for mother to be done.
As her mother picked all pretty flowers,
she sat patiently glazing at each one.

Her white dress glimmered
with her rosy red matching the flowers.
Her thoughts and imagination
grew within the second hour.

Soon interrupted in her thinking
came a small, soft ball of fur.
Its ears perked as it rubbed her dress
and soon began to purr.

Her small, smooth hand
brushed lightly against the kitty.
Her fur was quite warm and mellow,
and her sunshine eyes were so pretty.

Mother was now done,
and the girl took her new furry cat.
She grabbed her mother's hand,
and they carried the blossoms back.

Waiting
will always be for me the most effective
(albeit the most frustrating)
of all the means of time travel.
You won't find me in those new fangled machines.
(You don't know when you'll end up.)
Just leave me be.
I'll wait now and see you later.