Anger lashed out, spiteful and mean,
Do you want a fight? God yes! I’m Keen!
Shouldn’t have done it so now I panic,
Rush out the door,
The rain makes this feel tragic,
One drink on the tab at the pub that I work,
Moments silence as I send out my cries for help,
No response,
All drips in the rain,
Am I sad or angry?
Either way I’m without location,
Or motivation,
Tweet something positive in the hopes that it helps,
Even if it didn’t help me might help someone else,
Backtrack on my own advice,
Drinking while vulnerable is some sort of high,
‘Sorry Ollie, I’m with my work friends’
‘I got a mate round’
‘Sorry I’m drunk have a good un’
Bought this upon myself in some respects,
But it always thought I was closer,
Life likes to remind me it’s right to be cautious,
Life likes to remind me that I deserve to be lonely,
Looks like we’re still not over the pain I’ve caused,
Confronting the problems, I’ve been hiding from,
And the people that I know I’ve wronged,
Butterflies in my stomach bubble and fry,
In the gastric acid of these ****** insides,
Facing inevitable truths,
The results of my lies,
These difficult situations,
Got that sad Drake on rotation,
I need to stay hydrated in this heat,
Ye despite this warmth I got cold feet,
Can I turn away now? Please,
There’re harder things to face than defeat,
That’s what I’ll tell myself then tell you if you asked,
But I’m terrified,
I’ve been stripped bare for all to see,
But it’s not enough,
Now I sit,
legs crossed and contemplative,
Do I lash out at myself or lash out at the world?
I wish I could run to Tom,
Or through the past when people cared,
However briefly,
Somebody relieve us of the hardships we lay on ourselves,
The **** we cause and the people we hurt,
How empty we’ve felt,
I could be so easily redeemed,
But I’m so ******* destructive,  
The anger lashed out and hollowness answered,
Guess I drink,
Easier to confront than a shrink.

This is not for love nor is it for grief
To have one is to carry the other alone
Each shown difference through incredulous perspective
The pieces of truth show no appearance
They merely evoke feeling so raw
One of exposure and vulnerability
Caught in a spiraling emotion that gives no name to itself
A pit that feels free without restraint
A place where all options prove to be correct
One that shows no extent to a human life to live

some people were born to face more pain than all of the others combined
a stroke of luck or a generational curse
but don't assume my sensitivity adds up to a lack of strength
you touch me like I'm glass- like I may fall apart at any given moment
but I am not a mess for you to clean
I'm strong because the world has broken me more times than I could count
and I still approach love with the kind of vulnerability some may call ignorant
but I am not naive for believing in something so pure my scars won't make a difference
I am simply learning how to **** out those not meant for me

He can’t stand to love,
Yet he can’t stand to hate,
Afraid of exposure,
Its vulnerable weight.
So he builds up his walls,
To protect him from feeling,
Covering old wounds,
Which keeps them from healing.
And she sees he’s guarded,
Yet tries to unveil
The past he is hiding,
His secrets to tell,
Hating his walls,
But she can’t tear them down.
Wherever she is,
He just builds them around.

What were you thinking
You'd get me while I'm vulnerable
Walk up to me like we were friends
But we were at a funeral
What else is there to say
There's never a good time
You're already married
And I have someone I call mine
Did you want to see him
To know who has my heart
As you both stood on my sides
I quietly was torn apart
Did you want me to get caught
Why did you think that was okay
You ignored me for so long
Then walked up and said "hey"
You know we don't talk
You know we don't hangout
You know those are my boundaries
Because it's him I can't live without
You might fill my mind
But I can't deny
I'm going to marry him
You were never more than some guy

not now, don’t leave a trace
cursed tears running down my face
i hate it so much, to start to cry
wish i could figure out why
cleanse my eyes and reset my brain
let my thoughts run down the drain
find memories of me in my backyard
when life didn’t seem hard
anything but here right now
pray to disappear somehow
hiding, breathing, peer through my hair
try and find a bathroom somewhere

No it's not the truth when you say

I'm fine


Go ahead and break my heart again.