Let me show you that I'm capable of relationships,
companionships,
That I'm capable of caring and opening up.
Im capable of everything you need but I know there's no chance.
I know that you've decided to run away and I know that I've decided to stand and face the truth.
The truth is;
a slap in the face,
a message unread,
feelings unsaid.
The truth hurts and that's because there's no excuse.

HURT ME
Please hurt me

Break me
Please break me

Leave me the way you found me
Stuck
And alone

Because it's one of those days
Those days where I wish I wasn’t here

I wish we weren’t here
But you should be here

I wish
I just wish
Sometimes I just wish

But I know
I ***** up
We ***** up

Where do I go
In circles
We are running in circles

Lets run
We can get away
Then maybe we’ll be okay

Maybe will be fine
Maybe we’ll be different
Different this time around

We are going down
This time I don’t know what to do
This time I can’t make it better

Why can’t I make this better
These days I’m wishing
That these words I’m spilling

Maybe they’ll reach you
Touch you
Like the way I use to

But that's not the case
Why isn’t the case
Why can’t it be the case

Love me
Love me the way you use to
Smile at me
Touch me
Wanted


I want to be wanted

I’m just not sure

A ceiling made of glass, why can't they let me be,
feast upon someone else's bones,
I do what they wished they could,
Their envy only frees me.

I act on natural instincts,
they are caged among gentlemen
Who are bigger freaks than I ever will be
they hide it well.

At least I am obvious

I have never had the patience to solve a Rubix Cube
So
instead I cheat
I peel each different colored sticker off
and place them in a way that
makes it appear solved
complete
I guess I do the same with myself
I peel off each of my colors
aspects of my personality
and rearrange them so I appear solved
complete
But under the seemingly ordered colors
I am scrambled

The world seems so bleak
Once you rise off your knees,
Your sides are bruised
You apologize, for flinching
Apologize for existing,
When it's two in the morning
You haven't slept in days
Thoughts are racing in your brain,
Your head aches, pounds with
Your heartbeat , it's sped up
Adrenaline barely wearing off.
Grip onto whatever pieces
of reality you can find,
Secretly wishing you slip away
Just this one time,
To avoid this pain in your ribs
Make it the last time
You have to hope they didn't break,
The last night you lay awake,
knowing life would be a bore,
without the odd validation
Of laying on your bed,
Ice pack held close to your body.

Maybe you're a little too ****** up,
What does that matter,
No one would notice anyways,
They all think you're fine,
That's what you tell them at least;
Everything is fine, don't worry,
Cry yourself to sleep humming
Old lullabies from years ago,
Hum yourself to sleep,
Or maybe, just daydream
About how life used to be.

In my eyes, you have nothing to prove
Your beauty is both, inside and out
Never be ashamed to be who you are
Your flaws will never push me away
If you could only see it from my side
You would never have to ask me why

Your long brown hair, gorgeous as ever
That smile, it always brings me to my knees
The sound of your voice, it's comforting
Your impact on me, it's more than you know
If only I could get through to you, to make you see
I want you so bad, that I can't stop thinking about you

I keep going through my mind, trying to figure it out
What is it that I'm doing wrong, what is it that I'm saying
I just can't understand this, at times I feel like I'm not enough
It's like you're pushing me away, yet I've done nothing to hurt you
Please understand that I'm fragile, but willing to take a chance
Just know that I'm always there for you, I'll never break that promise

If you could take a little time, to think about all of this and hear me out
Understand just how much I care, how much love I have, respect as well
You might find it in your heart, to give me a chance, and let me get close to you
I would never hurt you, would never run out on you, I would never disrespect you
You have to understand, I'm crazy about you... in a romantic/loving kind of way
Please don't ignore this, please don't let this go without a though, this took a lot

u n f o c u s e d
camera lense,
vivid memories
blasting past becoming
the past.
can't f o c u s on the moment,
knowing,
it will become a
d i s t a n t
memory
in the future.
I need to feel
something,
anything.

no, i'm probably not okay
but does it really matter?
my life is spinning, and
what i was once so sure of
is now a fleeting possibility
and everything else is chaos
i imagine myself in a spiders web
every issue i have is sticky
and connected to the rest
all working in unison to keep me
from passing this test that we call life