Scattered snakes
A leap of faith
A vacation from self
Into void

Two doors
Open Eyes
A descent
Into what we avoid

Constant sounds
Crescendos
To proximity
Of now
Meditation breaks
Then reforms

Foreign Sensations
Cell surge
Heavy heart
Static dreams
A pit opens
In consciousness

Destruction of silos
Synthesized parts
Hypnotized whole
One moment
Breaking into many

Weight of being
Sinking into flesh
Falling through mind
Flying past thought
Floating in awareness
Light as emptiness

I want to hold onto my memories
Like water in cupped hands
I fear entropy taking them away
Bit by bit, byte by byte
I am attached to them and I love them
Even as they change me
I see life through them
Through dreams that dream me

Webs of Stories form beliefs
Influencing actions
Creating concepts of me
Until me becomes myth

A synthesis of cells
Speaking electric tongues
A possession of matter
By patterns that think
Through a brain and a spine
And everything between
Resulting in unity
Of scattered fragments

Interactions forming bonds
All the way up
All the way down
Outside and within
Culture eating society
Society eating self

Self eating body
Body eating mind
Biology consuming chemistry
Chemistry consuming physics
Down to quantum foam

Relationships and interactions
Observation collapses waves
Into singular moments
Of existence

Embodied interactionism
Where Brahman meets brain
Where infinite touches finite
Where I dissolve
Into we

Forming beliefs
From scattered signs
Influencing actions
Through quantum dice
Creating me
From cosmic debris
Until individual
Becomes universal

We were in this small cafe on our morning
   tea break
Me and some of my work colleagues
Someone inquired after my wellbeing
How I was
I motioned with my hand as if to say 'So, so"
Then I said
"I'm still a bit shaky"
'Why", they said, "what happened to you ?"
I answered "I was in a car crash last night"
"What!!!", they all said really concerned, "you shouldn't have come to work today, you should have stayed at home... you might be in
  shock!"
Then I said 'It was only a dream'. I went on "Yea, I dreamt I was in a car
  crash
I was driving down this terrible winding
   mountain road
Like something you'd get over in Italy
It was like a spiral staircase, going round and
   round
All these terrible bends
And the car it's getting faster and I know I'm
   starting to lose control
So for a moment I look down trying to figure
   out the controls
But suddenly when I look up again we've
   overshot a Bend
And We're heading straight into a wall
It's like everything goes into slow motion
You know there's no avoiding it
You can only brace yourself for the impact
And then BAM!! POW**!!! .....
And then I can't remember what happened
   after that.
Maybe I became unconscious"....then looking
   at them all around the table I said
"Maybe I'm still unconscious, maybe I'm just dreaming you guys sitting here
   right now
Maybe the dreamworld is the real world
And the real world but a dream...(tapping my finger on the table) a solid dream"
Then I took a sip of my coffee and said
"One thing...the coffee tastes nicer over on
  this side".

Transformation:
one into many &
many into one

the bird of paradise
half truth and half lie
it's not pure fiction
but pure singing
or intensity of the dark light

this vibration of your U(nconscios)
is a floating vessel
(sunk into mystery)
for my dreams
mine is for yours and for her
and for them
this is the way we meet
It's scary and wonderful
to recognize each other
some mirrors are crazy
light hides itself best in the dark
and darkness hides itself
best in the brightest of lights

there are too many layers
of liquid meanings in this
creature called life -
the same way
the ocean is carrying
different layers of
pressure and dark

the bird of paradise
dissolves itself
into singing cause
this is the only way
to meet its music
a bird constantly changing
the shape of its wings
to accomodate danger -
the danger of being alive
on your own
day after night

Oh, hello itch,
I've not missed you!
Nor your pleading, uneasy,
Eager smile,
Wicked begging eyes,
And hungry open mouth.
I've quite enjoyed this past while,
Lacking your insistent whispers.
Your lustful face
Looming round each corner of my boxed up,
Broken brain -
'FRAGILE - Do Not Break'
Ignored by the world -
Allowing you unforced entry,
You made a home
Hidden in the shadow
Of my unconscious darkness.
Fitfully coming to light
To remind me
Of yours and therefore my own;
Plea to die.

he would have discovered him
trying to change the water formula in his tears
he tried to exist/insist/resist
where no body was thinking
the man without moon
suspended in a terrorizing labyrinth of faces
His own
he was a method man
growing salt in his eyes like minefields
teaching it the taste of the earth
anxiety like mountains of fog eradicating crossroads
he wants to exist inside the body of the world
with the decency of negotiated desires
and the hands get lost in translation
truth is a black truffle
sweating and swearing
sensuous craters perhaps
he killed many singing birds
searching for imagination, his body
muted, renegotiated soon after birth
staying alive, denying the soul of zebras
He lacks verbs, some nouns
learning from the theory of absence
how the effortless U(n-conscious)
is a Poet that
rhymes the body with the mind
of the world

He summoned the shaman, the artists, the tango teacher
to the wake of his body
while learning how summer waves contribute to a theory of mind
his self white
white while forgetting Magritte,
a taxi for Chopin
or the whiteness of the cotton pickers
perhaps

The feeling of fear meeting someone for the first time
the delight looking at a little child playing
near ecstasy smelling a magnolia blossom
a secure feeling upon seeing Pampas Grass.

The unsafe feeling being with the blonde man
who had been nothing but kind to me
then… finally I remembered
the sandy-haired boy who made an object of me
at age seven behind the barn on a summer day.

So much of the self is hidden
chaining me to the old
keeping me in a caterpillar state
stumbling over chunks of earth
ignorant of what can happen
in the cocoon.

But learning, writing, remembering
can make me a Monarch
flying into spring.

In deepening dream a dark moon song
Careening oration  to the reeling inside
of flickering film, burning fast celluloid
An internal tribute to a time now past

Adrift at dawn  the dervish swoops its
whirling and whining an awesome spectre
enraged she raps her raw knuckles
Pushing apart deepest self

Seeing in sleep the shadow of my daylight
That blinds me habitually; subliminally she
Speaks the script to a censored play
I’ve never seen.

Unmoved everything is leaden
My thoughts are dry
Striving like a ship in a bladderwrack sea
My vanity is death to creativity

Give me lonesome insanity
And the truth in delirium dreams

Give me  truth that hammers in torrents
At the warped deck

Give me truth that seeps and runs
To the lowest point

Truth that  opens clouds
Rolls back seas
Revealing slime-rock ****-whipped  me

Give me the humming in the womb
The beating in the drum
That settled in my ancestor’s ear

Distant sounds, drawing near