All energy comes from the same well
every whim wrought
whims not
while sitting on a fiery throne
or cast out onto frosted stone
buy or sell
It's drawn from the same well
loss
gain
pleasure
pain
close your eyes
what color is it?

Are we really in complete, control of our heart?
What about natural selection?

True to its own necessities
its as inescapable as mica in marble
its influence uncoiling
throughout our everyday existence.

The emotional future decided by pheromones
by unconscious laws of pattern, form and complexity.
Decisions independent of what is fleeting and fashionable,
based on actions without social polish.

Natural selection in the age of lasers,
terrifying hierarchies of secret signals.
Layers of strangeness glinting and winking at us.
Chemical commands by tide of electrical impulse to warm the heart.

To end one love in favor of another.
The choosing of one heart over another,
as if, at my age, the situation demanded such sacrifice.
To refocus the heart like the skipping of a pebble
from one spot to another. Self inflicted sabotage.. dreadful gamble..

Standing right behind me,
Just out of view.
In direct sunlight,
I cast a shadow of you.

I draw you back under my feet.
Where I can't see you.

Brain, brain go away
Don't want to listen one more day
Already lonely and afraid
Feel insecure and full of shame

Brain, brain don't act this way
You're always angry; Filled with hate
You know we're joined; Can't separate
Yourself your punching in the face

Brain, brain what can I say
To make it so you see things straight
Don't know how much more I can take
Of constant warring and debate

Brain, brain it's getting late
This journey's not some endless race
Life's flying by and at this pace
Forget a win; Not gonna place

Brain, brain let's medicate
I'll feed you drugs and we'll sedate
The only way to mitigate
Discrepancies we generate

Brain, brain we sadly waste
This outcome feels like it was fate
But never was there a sealed date
Fulfilling what we self-create

Brain, brain so much we faced
Success so close could almost taste
Instead our tail we always chased
We'll die alone sad and disgraced

even sleep no longer provides relief
once a safe haven
from the restless, overactive
thoughts that never
subside
vivid
real
increasingly nightmarish

realism interspersed with subconscious fears
the clever subtlety of imagination
thoroughly intertwined, entangled
veiling the dubious line
no longer distinguishable
between reality?
dreamscape?

awake? or simply a false awakening?