Dear ma’am,
It seems you have stepped on my spleen!
Now you must be confused, but I am not like most people.
You see, most people are rather cliché!
They would say such things as
“you broke my heart”
“you've torn my soul to bits”
But there is no soul, my dear,
except, of course, in a philosophical sense,
for the soul is just the essence of a person, you see.
And the heart, my dear,
only feels pain when sad or angry,
but I am neither.
However, the spleen, my dear, can feel the pain of love
even after the heart has accepted the loss. You see,
the spleen is often affected by Mono, or the “kissing disease."
With such a romantic nickname, my dear,
you’d conclude that Mono is a disease of romance.
However, even after that love is gone, the Mono remains.
So that returns me to my original statement, my dear:
it seems you have stepped on my spleen!
For I have accepted that you have died,
but I still hurt for you.
