———"that familiar boiling yolk of a sunrise—comas richer than russian dark chocolate— & saturn smoking a cigar while playing chess with gravity... i have been here before."

ocean dove, pardon my excuses for not writing as of late; been busy fulfilling a prophecy that can't even look me in the eye and ask me to change.  in the june wreckage of two thousand and sixteen;  i retired my tongue with the dormant volcanoes  before the world could end in my mouth.  and yet my poetry informs me that there are some wounds too sophisticated to even flower into scars—kind of like how my words will never feel like honey again, (but vinegar nonetheless.)

how cruel of me it was; to condemn you to a death without one final cigarette slow dancing with your lungs.  i miss the shadows of you most: the belt of venus caged like a wild animal in your eyes, your rusty guitar silky voice dripping off the haunted house we called home, countless a.m. drives kicking up filthy moonlight in the rearview mirror, but most of all—the way you said 'i love you' like it was nothing dressed up in something fashionable.

it is now the june of two thousand and nineteen. this wreckage sat on a throne and filled into the moon's shoes. a crown crawled it's way home to my head and kissed me with knowledge drenched in your name.  this queen started from lesson no. 1: broken instruments, will preach broken sounds—  and how lovely it has been, planting a world war in my soul only to raise eden in it's stead.  i will miss your company, but your ghost is no longer a requirement for me to be complete.

i have learned to stop loving falsehoods.  i have learned to start loving the leftovers of who i am becoming.  we would have been star crossed lovers had you not tried to swallow that bottle of pills that famous night where we fought like madonnas— but it looks like you got to death's fortune cookie before i did.

"and one day, you will have lived long enough to taste your grief turn bittersweet too"———

I don't love you anymore.
Maybe I do.
I don't want anything to do with you anymore.
But that's a lie too.
A heart broken and fixed, broken and fixed.
What kind of twisted fate of love was this?
I was fortune's fool.
I let something come over my heart and mind to rule.
I feel sick when my mind drifts upon your name.
I'm lovesick and I don't want to be, and you're to blame.
For all of my pain.
Yet none of it matters.
How I feel will never again matter.
Life goes on for you.
I don't want to hold you back.
I wish you the best...
A wave goodbye with these heavy pangs in my chest.
Fake smile painted across my face.
Feeling off and out of place.
As you walk off into the distance without a trace.
Feeling a void, what a tragic tale.
Filling the void with no avail.
Hoping our paths may cross again..
Or maybe this twisted love has finally come to an end.

her shadows
have more weight
than my ghost

in my hands
a basket
full of ripe
plums

they prefer
those bite-sized
cookies with the
******* fortunes

plain language
in which
nothing hums

Peer ye at the crystal ball
fall into the eye of the oracle
peer ye and you'll see it all
the triumph and the debacle

We've been around
We've been around
to every reach and place so common and yet never talked about
We've been around
We've been around
the streets paved with the teeth of hopeless lying underground

Watching at ley lines
Walking with flow of the crowd

Heaven is merciless with decision
You might want to scream low
and on the inside if only to provide
your stealth from the jury
Born any time it's hard to believe
with the droves in dead zones
written in bylines, that real estate is prime
but the line for our kind is off
kilter at best

Don't pity us, wager up
Just double down, and on the other side
Don't pity us,
Just double down,
Wager up and on the flip side of winning
we all have these lines to lay

You've been seen between trees broadcasting that look
It says every word that you mean to speak, expressly open book
To who live the drabbest day with the brightest faith and take your
comfort away while enduring hell on earth

We've been around
We've been around
right to the edge of blasphemy's reach and have the greatest fortunes found