Been single for about two years
It ***** at times but I don’t hate it
Though I’ve had some potential suitors
None have gone any further than it should
Here’s my latest
I felt feelings
That I didn’t want to confess
I felt comfortable
In a way that felt reciprocated at times
He was cute
Chocolaty just like I like my men
But I hesitated
See I wanted him
But to him
I was only his friend
Nothing more, nothing less
In my mind, we were in a relationship
I missed the part where this wasn’t reality
I call other women delusional for such a thing
But who am I?
No better than the rest
Certainly not better than the next
I claim my potential must have this and that
But I ignore one thing to keep everything
That I assumed was there
No blame to this guy
He did no wrong
I did too much
I overthink a lot but I wasn’t wrong with this one
Here’s the truth
I knew all along
I knew for a fact that we weren’t a match
That what I wanted
He didn’t have
My mind may go into overdrive
But with this, she wasn’t wrong
I tucked the truth in the back of the bus
And drove to do to what was a lie
I knew we were only friends
My heart wanted him but nature wouldn’t let it happen
I’m woman enough to admit my wrong
Him not saying anything was everything I needed to hear
No dates
No phone calls
No not even a suggestion or a move
Here’s the truth
I won’t fight myself for this
I’ll pull back and remain
My heart won’t hurt anymore
I will move on and continue to learn
I’ll be just fine
I’m only human after all
Here’s the deep truth
I don’t chase after a man
No more will I think and blindly act like a title
That’s not exclusive
I’ll speak the man I want into existence
Though it may be hard and even upsetting at times
I’ll wait for that right man
Who puts in effort and does the best he can
To show me his interest
Who has what I want and need
He’ll be the man I dreamed of
Here’s the truth
I thank you to the potentials
You showed me what I didn’t need in my life
You helped me to remove the blinders
To see that I deserve better
I thank you and have nothing but love for you
That’s the truth

© 2019 Mia J

My left eye sees the honest things
A puddle, sky, a skipping stone
It watches birds with steady wings
And knows which socks are not my own

It can spot a single tear
It sees the cracks behind a smile
It knows what’s honest, sharp, and clear
It watches quiet all the while

My right eye is full of play
It sees a dragon in a tree
It turns a puddle into a bay
And swears that squirrels drink cups of tea

It just loves to tell tall tales
It sees a boat where there’s a shoe
It sees dancing trees and talking snails
And paints the sky a deeper blue

One eye will whisper, “That is so.”
It points to facts and steady ground
The other shouts, “A UFO!”
Whenever leaves go swirling ’round

Together, though, they share my face
And show a world both strange and true
Where clocks might melt and flowers race
But love still fits in every view

Together they both guide my heart
One by the truth, one by surprise
Between the lines of what’s been said
I see the world with twin-born eyes

How am I?
How am I?
I am oppressed.
Here, I am not free
Or heard
Or respected.
Here, I am told what to do with my own body.

And I can’t help but wonder—
How dare they?
How dare they force me into a piece of cloth,
One they know I will disregard?
How dare they back me into a corner
And wrap me in a headscarf?
How dare they oppress me for my freedom
And cover me as if that's the answer?

Why punish the victim,
When that won’t stop the victor?
Why shun the abused
While glorifying the abuser?

How dare they expect me to listen—
How dare they,
When I have a fire that can’t be put out
Not even by my blood and tears.

The lion hides behind the truth,
A gallant knight on pain of sword.
The blind man sees which way to go,
A beggar finds his just reward.

A babblers tounge will never cease,
The tin man masks a heart of gold.
A compass always pointing north,
an unloved heart is treasure sold.

The castle strong as weakest point,
The truth will always stay the same.
A lonesome clock has all the time,
How can mortal man give God a name?