I wish you hadn't done what you did so I wouldn't have had to face what I did.
It's not normal to keep piling things inside and not say,
when all you want to do very much
is say: This is it.
This and that and everything else. I can't believe I am turning mad.

It's in the time when you're surronded
By nothing but air
And no one to talk to that the
Pain becomes too much to bear.

It's when you need it most,
That no one is near,
You bottle everything up,
The pain, emotions, and fear.

Starting a new life,
In a place with no one you know,
Can be one of the hardest things,
But it's a fear you can't show.

You have to protect your brother,
He can't know that you're scared,
As if moving across the country wasn't enough,
Then your mom's health - you weren't prepared.

You suit up to take life head on,
Act as your baby brother's second mom,
Take care of your mom, the house,
And family, while trying to remain calm.

It's a lot to deal with,
A lot of pain to bear,
But you're stronger than you know,
And by this, I swear.

Your support stretches across the country,
You've got people who care and love you,
Life hands us things that aren't easy or a choice,
But we know you're strong enough to push through.

May God bless you and your family,
With whatever life may bring you to,
You are always in my prayers,
I put my faith in Him to take care of you.

You always think that I'm sad.
Or mad.
But perhaps
It is just that when I'm with you
Your spirit is too loud.

And I'm tired of listening.
Sitting in torture while you
Burst with pride and opinions and stupidity
I think I may soon explode.

And when that happens,
The quiet shy girl
Who you thought you knew,
Will transform into a fire.  
A fire that burns everything in its path.

How you treat me
cause I welcome you
too much

You see, there sometimes comes a moment
In a persons life,
When they finally say
Enough.
There comes a moment
When a persons heart
Realizes it's been through too much.
And in that moment,
That terrifying,
Hopeless moment,
They learn
And let go
And harden
Till they forget.
Till the heart turns
To stone.

It's too easy
To say those things
To hurt those feelings
To do those actions

It's too hard
To hear them talk
To not cry
To stay strong

It's too much
To keep going
To hold on
To not give in

It's too soon
But I'll say it:
*Goodbye

Sometimes, I can be a bit much
I might text you multiple random things at a time
And I’ll know you read them
But i’ll keep sending them anyways
I’ll constantly be talking to myself
Because it seems like
No one wants to talk to me
I’ll be there for you always
But you’ll never return the favor
I’m there to worship at your feet
But you push me away when it’s my turn
And I start going insane
Thinking constantly
Ignoring you
Ignoring everyone
Because
Sometimes, I can be a bit much

Too much of something is bad enough.*

Do not trust
     too much.
Do not feel
    too much.
Do not love
    too much.
Do not care
    too much.

Those 'too much'
can hurt you
       so much.

I only wanted to reach out
but how am I suppose to melt those metallic
walls of yours when you even put up
thousands of locks on it?
If there is anyone who understands you
most, it is me but you can't see.
The fact that I am very different from before
than now makes you think that I can never
understand you when the truth is that you
were those who changed me.
I want you to see your own reflection in me.
I want to bring out the best in you.

But I guess I have tried and I failed.
I don't know what to do for you anymore for I
have done my job and failed shamelessly...

I am sorry for even trying...
It was indeed a big mistake...

You can never really persuade others to believe
when too much lies are already circling around them, can't you?

I miss you
A little too much
A little too often
A little more each day

I want you
A little too much
A little too often
A little more each day

I need you
A little too much
A little too often
A little more each day

-H.R.