i open up to you
though at times, you make me regret it
we're friends, it's true
and yet, every now and then i forget it
you're here for me
and i'm here for you
so i wish your love for me
weighed as heavily
as the pain and trauma

Stars twinkle above the mess both have made
As if unaware of destruction
Dawn will arrive without fail
Enhancing our deconstruction

Drowning
Unavoidable pain
Birds mock with their cheerful song
Own voice hardly croaks a hoarse whisper
When I speak words all sound wrong

Sweet memories comfort briefly
Blown up in my distressed brain
Soothe the open wounds I nurse
The sorrows still remain

My heart continues beating
Noise the only indication
Suffering from the devastating effects
Brought by sudden desolation

On a desperate quest for understanding
Roads I walk lead to nowhere
Promised to stay and love me forever
I need you most and you're not there

The confessional between my body and the world
is in my hand
|
|
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v

Halfway there
Then I turn around
Start walking west
But I hit the ground

And I don't get back up
I turn to my side
Elbow underneath
As the I watch the Sun pry

The gravel digs in
I turn on my back
Lie on my arm
Make it all pitch-black

I keep 'em open
When I hear sounds
Engines revving
It's about to go down

I crawl outta the way
My palms scraped and ******
Was lying on the dirt
But my jeans got muddy

Lights fly past
They show me a way
So I tie up my hair
And start walking straight

I'm still halfway there
But I turn my feet
Start walking north
Now there's grass underneath

How could one find me,
In this mess of a field?

Most of my lonely nights
I sit by the window side
And look up and smile at the stars
Cause I see you up there

''And that night, I came home pale and broken. My heart was broken in leaving you there with no answers. When I looked at you for the last time, confused and disappointed, it was as if the brightness of life had been extinguished. There was only sadness for months. Any trace of your memories weakened my body. You liked coffee, I stopped drinking it. You pedaled your bike, and I lost my balance. We were in that bookstore and I was never able to buy there again. What if I forgot you today? It would be a gift. Now you are consciously raw, and I am inconsolable sorry''