A cup of such and such.

Mental explode.
Through candle light sufferance.
A tremolo remembrance.
Gentle across the face.
Drowsy.
A sigh.
Though in hue so perfect.


Garrett Johnson.

looking up at all the stars
i hope for a better tomorrow
thinking through the late night
my mind and heart know.
our first take
was so long ago
but as I leave the sun city
its for the best that I let it all go.

I awaken to a sound
I sit up slowly and look around
The room is full of shadows
The gloom makes them dance but none of that matters
I tell myself it's all in my head
And the fact the previous owner was found last year dead
In this very same bed
Is making me jumpy and grabbing a bat
I walk to the hallway instead
Lead by my own fears but trying to face them
And looking down at the long stairs
It's dark at the bottom but I try not to care
I think I see movement below
Do I stay here, put on a brave show
The answer I already know
As I run to my room and now lock the door
It's ok to call the police
They could drive by and look in at least
I quickly get under the sheets
And sit there a moment shaking in fear
I turn on the light on my phone
And that's when I realise that I'm not alone

I love the way her hair turns in circles,
How she cuffs her pant legs to show her shoes,
The way she hikes her pants like Steve Urkle’s
How she only wears different kinds of blues.

If my parents knew they’d certainly cry.
Such disappointment for their only kin,
But if they knew they would surely ask: Why?
My religion would view me as a sin.

My mom says I am committing a crime.
My dad says I should not think about it.
My friends say they’ll support me in due time.
My therapist says this will go to ****.

My story has no home, it is a stray;
But this story has a plot twist. I’m gay.

cigarettes and something else
corners were down most of the time
I can't remember when last they smiled
hair short and messy
played with a lot
hand runs through the nest when unsure
they used to laugh
a snort or a cackle
head thrown back and hands covering face
jokes about nothing
somehow the feeling lit up
always an attempt for happy or sunflowers
somewhere doodles stopped
smiles turned to frowns
cheeks that once hurt from smiling stained
from tears that seem to never end
a smile that lit up turned to a frown
to stay away from
yellow became black
and I watched it all happen

We can stop and see the leaves
stretched out above our head
Our heads are not so high
And it's only ground we tread
My favorite part of life
Just to breathe
As I lay and watch the stars
I feel the ground beneath

Connecting me
We can stop and see the leaves
But what's connecting me
Like roots spread out in all directions
Our heads are not so high
It's the simple ground we tread
And in the soil
Our lives we toil

Yes our blood is in the soil
And I just breathe
I thank God for food to eat
I feel the ground beneath
As I lay and watch the stars
Stretched out above our heads
Our dreams are powerful
It's the simple ground we tread

My favorite part of life
Connecting me
The stars up high in heaven
The roots of mighty tree
And I just breathe
Our lives we toil
I thank God for food to eat
And in the soil

them old songs

each vialed, labeled, racked,
date ordered, mood markered,
a playlist sortable by gradated
feelings, dated by color vividness,
associated memories of happy vs. lost,
hellish costs, my accumulated gained earnings
well spent, all gone them seeking many happy returns

the assorted “I love you’s” ranked by
intensity and sane, reversed by pain,
records flip sided with memories,
tunes remastered, past remembrances
only fade, time can’t be denied,
at least them old songs
help some but help

not me