i woke up one morning
and left.
i needed to get out
so i booked a flight
and left.

that day
as i ran
you texted.
you wanted to see me that night.
i told you i booked a flight
and left.
you stopped texting.

i ran faster.

seat 10b
felt the loneliest.
i cradled my journal
and forced my eyes open;
if i fell asleep
i knew i'd surely
dream of you.

i didn't want to escape
into my dreams
because i knew
eventually
i'd wake up in a
nightmare.

i stared at the empty seat next to me
seat 10a
and imagined your form
uncomfortably cuddled up
in a cramped space.
you'd be sleeping
listening to Bowie.
i wouldn't be able to sleep,
i'd be staring at you.

this is why i booked a flight.
and left.

you're everywhere.
i'm drowning in your memory.  
you're my only dream,
but you're too much
of a nightmare.

I ****** up.
I mean like I really ****** it up this time.
I don’t know what I said wrong
But
I’m sorry.
I’d pray you aren’t mad at me
If I believed in a god.
But I don’t
So I just look for people to blame and
Oh look!
I choose myself.
God.
This is the worst.
I’m going to be alone forever.

Oh.
Never mind.
He texted back

If only you knew how many times
I typed those three little words,
And then deleted them before hitting send

"When we first started talking, I had no idea how much of an effect you would have on my life."

There will be a digital trace

Of this in the morning,
And I will know
That I was alive

"There was something between us.
It was like we had known each other for years.
It was something that made it so easy and so natural to talk to you.
It is very rare to find that with someone."