Written is my life
Unwritten is my knife
Rewritten is my strife

Nobody tells you,
“don’t fall in love with just anyone yet”
because if you fall out of love once,
you’ll fall out once again,
a couple times more,
and perhaps keep falling in and out
over and over,

they advice you to not dive in too deep,
because it hurts to get out once you’re in,
but they don't say don’t dive in
just because you can,
that you shouldn’t just give your lover
tests to prove their love for you,
but that you must test your own love,
see if you can prove your love
to yourself,
after all how can you be sure of
loving someone
when you can’t love the person
your heart beats within?

I can't wait for winter break,
Too much work and my brain aches,
Could just stop that's all it takes,
But I'm doing this for their sake,
Learn things for tests no mistakes,
Relate fingers to great lakes,
Superior till' I break,
To Michigan that's the stakes,
Get her on to take the cake,
Ontario has the steak,
More eerie than poison snakes,
To remember words and shapes,
That's what's done rewind the tapes.

Cheeks flushed,
Heart rushed,
Words pushed
Down our necks

Force fed garbage
We don't want to hear
*******- flowing through our veins
Like mud
Chewing on bitter cud
But we need it,
We need to learn it -
Memorise the words
So white men can put us in
Boxes.
Tick
or
Cross.

i have not written since my last disaster.
the hopelessness, and the empty,
they were horrible feelings, but they held a beauty not worth having.

today, i worry. because tomorrow, the world demands results.
today, i worry. because so many people have told me so many things.
today, i worry. because so many people want me to join their laughter.
today, i worry. because no one knows what i’m doing.

the sun came back -did you know?
however, it is so much easier to study in the rain. i feel the need for my life,
when in reality my life should be tomorrow -because the world demands results.
because those results i also demand of myself.

yet, my heart, ever persistent, collides.
it whispers to me -can you believe it? she knows about that?
and it tells me -you can’t miss these things.
even though i can’t solve these things, they won’t let me rest until they’re solved.

but the world demands results. it wants a girl with a voice,
a girl who can turn circles and spheres and make something out of what she’s been given.
most importantly, it demands a girl who can solve any problem,
reason out every thought for hours. those are results.

and day after day, i change from i to she. because i am me. and i’m also she.
she, who can be the girl the world demands.

she has no time for this, she knows. her whole life is results.
as it should be. and when she’s done, she rests her shoulder against her bed.
and once, long ago, used to wonder who found her beautiful.
once, used to dismiss that feeling.

now, she carries it. each time the world demands, she gives.
she gives everything for results, and everything else for those people.
expect one thing. one, who she can’t see. one has held her hand twice,
one who makes dreams with her.

one, who she makes dreams with. because when the world is done demanding,
she’ll send her letters in the form of keys,
and think about what they’ll become.
she rests her back against her bed, and wonders what it would be like if she was sitting next to her.
holding her hand under the moonlight and holding her in heart as she allowed the day to seep out of her.

Truth be told
I'm terrorised with fear,
Because I'm not about to get a father,
I know I'll get a nightmare.
I don't want to enter the place, again,
Where I wish I could go back to my dreams,
To try to make it all better,
Because the reality will be painfully in front of me
And I'll never be able to make it disappear.