The gallows swing in my gown
how my grievous allure
axiom, snares me down
an appellative of harrowing quintessence
wearing lilies like an aureole
                                                      -crowned in by anemone and asphodel
the paraded gait of my soul

absence of faithful apparitions
cogent til their demise by my own dolor
nihility is my dear conviction
to dwell on dreamless sleep once more

alas lucidity comes abrupt
falsehoods pellucid in the eyes of divinity
tainted now i cite apprehension
bear garlands of wormwood, for i am corrupt
still gallows shall swing in my gown
whether in repose or in waking
the gallows swing in my gown
in knots the Styx shall be waiting.

If only you could see me now,
Lying awake each night,
Holding on to every image of your face.

When you told me you may break me,
Is this what you had in mind?
I’d still wish to go back to those times though..

At least back then I could stand in your shadow,
I’d take those days over this isolation darling,
Your poisonous words felt like an endearment to me...

If only I could see him now,
Deceitful and beautiful,
Enough charm to make others offer their soul.

Beloved, it’s not all as you think,
You may have broken me but you’re still mine.
I’ll use your mistakes against you.

It’s a subtle dance of dominance.
The more tightly you wrap me around your finger,
The more I get inside your head.

They all think we are crazy,
That we don’t understand how to love,
Though a love this tainted will surely transcend time..

This secret life leads me astray,
I don’t need pity nor forgiveness,
For I cannot stop what I love to do,
The one I belong to on paper,
He cannot see my lies or tears,
Though every time he touches me,
I whisper your name.

In my dreams I belong to you,
Though I know what I do just isn’t right,
I’ve gotten good at pretending,
The virtues wife,
No one would suspect otherwise.

Self-loathing has become a close companion,
It is surprising what people are willing to endure,
Just to feel alive, even for a moment,
How much they would risk.

You’re my ***** secret,
But I love you so dearly,
In another life,
Maybe we can shine in the sun together.

I was trying to decide what I liked about you,
10 months ago this sordid affair was birthed from our joined betrayal.
Through it all we both received more pain than pleasure,
Are we both just gluttons for punishment or is there a deeper meaning to it all?
I keep asking myself how long until it is over.. I’m so tired..
Why not walk away with what little pride is left…
It seems the more deplorable you are, the more you are beloved to me..
Let us not kid ourselves though, we both know we are going to be each other’s downfall,
It is only a matter of time, and in our world no one will be spared..
The truth is I love you, because you are ugly on the inside, just like me.