how many times did you tell me you love me
did you really
there was always a doubt lingering in me
you left it there, no reassurance
does love exist
you made me believe our love was religion
you were the god i would worship
now i’m better off an atheist.
another revamped 2o16 bad boi
just like me
there is a shortage of time
of running out of it.
much like you
nobody seems to notice me until I'm gone
the wind shifts
the flowers have already blossomed
yet the sun becomes too warm to allow pleasantries
and in a blink of an eye
you are gone
much like me
when nobody looks long enough to notice.
we always think about what we did with our lives
and what did it get us.
for me I gained nothing more than musings at 3am
in a forgotten spot in a forgotten town.
I was always welcomed with the smell of stale coffee that hadn’t been brewed fresh since lunch merely ten hours before.
It wasn’t a friendly welcome but it was a welcoming.
here, in this small lit up space,
I found myself disappear into something else
No longer was I was person in a cubicle, answering phones,
submitting numbers into a tired system.
I was someone who although couldn’t beat insomnia,
I made it apart of my life.
I would learn about others
and mold myself from my own clay into something new.
I made it a point to learn from my tired mind and thoughts,
I made sure I made not sleeping soundly through the night worth it.
It was always somber; just a tear stained cheek away from being devastating;
I found my home here
in the lit up shop on the corner of Sullivan and Orchard;
Where I would always be greeted by the smell of stale coffee that hadn’t been brewed fresh since lunch merely ten hours before.
The only thing
I want to
at the end
of the day
am I loved,
does someone love
The answer is
always, of course,
and it breaks
my heart how
it took me
to truly know
Sufjan Stevens - Fourth Of July
It is okay to be grounded
This is something i must tell my soaring heart
Every second of every day.
When the world seems to open to you
Like it’s yours for the taking,
“Oh, but you must hold back”
That is something that I wasn’t used to hearing
For I was the one who had to make my own path
And holding back was never an option for me
I was told to always bite my tongue and never let others understand what I was feeling
So the expression of words got stuck in my mind
And could only be freed when I placed a pencil in my hand
It is okay to be grounded
This is something I tell others
When they worry about where life may take them
I still have no idea where my own life is taking me
But every second of every day
I must tell my soaring heart it is okay.
This will all be okay one day,
And perhaps my okay is different from yours
But one day it’ll all work out
You’ll get the promotion you always talked about
And maybe we’ll fall in love
And have a nice colonial somewhere we make our own
But for now we must tell our hearts that while it is okay to dream
We can stay grounded for the time being
Until we both sprout wings and have the ability to soar
everyone says out of 7 billion smiles and yours is my favorite
well mine is my favorite
but only when it's you creating my grin
out of 7 billion mouths
mine is my favorite but only when I am saying your name.
being lonely can be wonderful
but being lonely can be terrible
when all I want to do is escape into your arms
and breathe in your scent
so I can soothe myself
but also be home alone
so I can listen to my own music
and take up the whole bed