If I swam among the fish
would you spear me like you do the rest?

If I swam among the trout
Would you dive in and pull me out
A splash, a step, and then a leap
Under the water, this body would retreat
If the weight of the sea could pull me down
How long would it take for me to reach the ground
In the deep water, I would lay
Waiting for a light to show me the way
North, South, East, or West
I wouldn’t have I clue, just a guess
If you would dive in you would see
We’re in a world of lost identity

People that don't self harm
Don't seem to understand it.
But I don't expect them to.

First, it hurts, A LOT.
It hurts when you first do it
And it hurts the next day.
It hurts when your long sleeves rub against it
And it hurts when you look at what you did.

Next, cuts bleed, A LOT.
At first they don't bleed,
You start cutting deeper,
Then they bleed, a lot.
It doesn't stop bleeding.

Please don't tell me to just stop.
I can't just stop.
It's so addicting.
Even though I want to stop,
I can't.

It starts out as you control it,
But then it ends up controlling you.
You want to wear short sleeves?
Think again, you can't.
You want to go swimming with friends?
Oh yeah, they'll probably think you're crazy.

Every time you do it one more time,
It becomes more and more addicting.
Just one more you think, but no.
This is the last time, but it's not.
You can't just stop.

I don't mean to hurt the people around me.
In that moment, all I can think about is
Hurting myself.
I'm sorry for hurting everyone else
While I'm hurting myself.

I wish to go swimming, you and I
In the dark expanse we call night sky
I'll pick stars like flowers for your hair
And watch your eyes reflect the glare

And then we can sail across the tide
Open mouthed and glassy eyed
The moon our ship, we'll take the stern
As I guide you through each twist and turn

Hand in hand, we'll voyage the stars
Stretching down to brush the surface of Mars
I'll adorn your fingers with Saturn's rings
And catch distant Suns to be our playthings

Then at last we'll dive back in
Our smiles revealing the places we've been
I'm content with my feet touching the ground
For as long as I'm with you, I'm safe and sound.

The pool is a
Wary heart of
Swinging moods

Light from the sun
Reflects the waves
Like constellations

Suspended forms
Floating around
Wandering in the sea

Aimlessly they drift
To the foreign shore
Where the winds are warm

I swam the sea
Manmade fish with rubber fins and glass eyes
It wasn’t difficult to breath
Quite the contrary
I witnessed wonders of man & mother
Bejewelled sealife amongst statues of stone
Sunken artistry, seaplanes and Poseidon
A lady of rock, the Ocean Atlas
Holding up the sky from beneath the waves.
The Bahama Mama casting a gentle eye over her domain
Tomorrow maybe more.

An ocean;
an urge
A waterfall all ready to pour out
But not a single drop trickles down.
It’s all in
drowning
and
swimming;
gasping
and
breathing;
emotional
and
impulsive.
I am crying words,
for there are no tears.