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J Wendell Coplin Dec 2024
Do I suffer?
Everything I do, I do wrong.
I can’t even get help.
I want to manifest my pain—
to bleed into your vision,
to force you to see me.

I hate that I’m an inconvenience.
I hate that I could be a problem.
I hate that I cause offense.
But please, please see me.

I need to be loud.
I need to be heard.
I need to be seen.
Please—
just see me.

I’m sorry to ruin your day.
I’m hurting too.
****.
I hate myself.
I might do it.
I might finally show you.

My last laugh:
the silence shatters.
I will finally be remembered.
You can’t ignore this.
8
i want to cut again
make pretty little lines
i want to take the razor
and make it my demise

i want to cut again
watch the red pour
i want to cut my legs
behind a closed door

see, i used ro cut daily
before my friends found out
i made another promise
"what was that about?"

my parents used to yell at me
my friends used to try
the worst reaction that i got
was seeing Moonbeam cry

i want to cut again
now that moon is gone
i want to hurt again
its really been too long.
guess what? im 7 days clean.
Jeremy Betts Feb 9
i wanted you like a Pepsi
just one Pepsi
not quite suicidal
but watch me display tendencies
Viktoriia Feb 2
those who seek flame see fires everywhere,
one's lifebuoy's but an anchor to the sinking.
where there's a fear of dark, there's fear of blinking,
for even momentary blindness makes you lose the way.

so many things were tempered with to always keep us scared,
on edge and waiting for the blade to drop when we're not thinking.
one's lifebuoy's but an anchor to the sinking,
those who seek flame see fires everywhere.
baord Jan 28
everything has been okay
everyone has been kind
so why is it that i find comfort in hurting myself

my family is great
i have wonderful friends
in fact the only thing disrupting my life is me
but it’s all fine at the end of the day

but why is it that
here and there and then again
that i find myself wishing an end

an end not to the happiness
but me
idk just thoughts
V3NUS Jan 22
you're being irrational
you aren't being bullied
your parents are loving and caring... for the most part
you have lots of friends
you're "normal"
you're pretty
and you're privileged
and you have a lot
your friends have it way worse
you're overreacting
I may tell myself this, but reminder: just because someone has it worse, doesn't mean you can't feel a certain way. your feelings are valid <3
Yes,  finally,  I have broken;
There's nothing I can do.

I've nothing left to live for;
Nor to breathe the air
Like you.

You know how people
Always say,
"Well hey, it could be worse?"

Well hi, my name is "Worse,"
I'll introduce myself
To you.

I gave up all my cigarettes,
I've poured out all the *****;

But things that should get "better,"
I can't see them like you do.

I wrote a story from my mind,
On a gift that I was given,
Nine chapters pulled from
My behind;

That's humor,  if you get it.

My cat knocked down a
Half- full can,
Upon my livelihood;

And now I'm left with nothing,
Yes, I've wondered if I "should.."

I've tried so many times,
I gave up trying long ago;
Swallowed seventy- two Xanax
And took a jump down the bayou.

But for every time I've tried,
Somehow, I still wake up alive,
But tonight for the first time in years,
I truly wished I'd die.

Oh, when you live for nothing,
And all you've left behind,
Are spoken words and stories
That can warp and open minds;

When you live without money;
Left society behind,
You survive on only kindness,
Oh, yeah, any kind you find.

I don't know 'bout tomorrow;
Today has been enough.
But even through my sorrow,
I've felt my heart grow tough.

Now, I must sleep without
My dreams; they're locked behind
A door;

A prison made of plastic,
Metal,  and lost
Forevermore.

So now I'm sitting here again,
And poetry I write;
I'm glad nobody's here to see me;
God, I'm such a sight!

My face is boils and scars,
And they continue down my arms;
They wind their way into my mind;
They're even on my heart.

For all I've given up to live
A life I could call mine,
I'm left tonight with nothing,
No; a nothing that is mine.

I'll try my best to get some rest;
And face the day anew,

But finally,  I have broken;
Some part of me is "through..."
This is how I feel tonight. I literally wrote 9 chapters of a novel on an old laptop that was gifted to me by a friend of the family, and my cat knocks a ****** can of soda all over it; I'm broke, I CAN'T work,  my mental illness won't LET me; IT'S NOT A CHOICE,
and I've never felt more depressed and suicidal in many years, than this moment, right now. So I'm using the only thing I have to post on,  my phone,  and I've written this. Goodnight world. *******,  God. And I hope tomorrow gets better...
V3NUS Jan 17
I cry because I don't want to live
but at least I look pretty doing it
I'm a pretty crier
maxx Jan 7
relief
i don’t want to die,
i just want
the ache
to go away,
the heaviness
to lift,
the silence
to be kind.

i don’t want
to end it,
i just want
to feel
like i’m
breathing again.
death calls me by my full name, and sometimes I listen. but here I am.
maxx Dec 2024
envy is a strange thing
i scrolled through
the life of a boy
i had never known,
watched the love
pour over him
like flowers on a grave,
watched the silence
turn to screams
of “i miss you”
& “why did you leave?”

& i thought,
what would they say
about me?
would their silence
finally break?
would their love
finally bloom?

but then i realized—
he is not here
to feel it,
to hear it,
to carry it.
& i—
i am still here.
& if i am still here,
there is still time
to teach them
how to love me
while i am alive.

—stay, even if the love feels quiet.
im learning to love being alive. but sometimes, i envy the dead
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