I wrote suicide notes like love letters,
Maybe a bit too much.
Maybe a bit too often,
With those depressing words and such.

I wrote suicide notes like love letters,
Carefully chose every word.
Desperately trying to tell you,
That to me you meant the whole world.

I wrote suicide notes like love letters,
It almost felt like a crime.
Put my pen down like a weapon,
And glance at you one last time.

numb and drained
life is being ****** from me
its vibrant colors slowly fading to gray
leaving me empty

life has no meaning
i'm not living this way
only existing because im a coward
afraid to throw it all away

a pull of a trigger
a swipe of a knife
small simple things
to end my life

this isn't a plea
no i don't want your sympathy
go take it and use it
for someone other than me

An old friend,
I'd call him,
The way we both want each other,
And yet timing keeps us apart.

It's not yet time,
Even when I want it shortened,
So I tease,
I provoke.

His a patient friend,
Who takes his time,
It's saddening,
But next time I'll make you move.

Next time,
I will win,
It's a matter of time,
Before we meet death.....
By:Jn

Do I suffer?
Everything I do, I do wrong.
I can’t even get help.
I want to manifest my pain—
to bleed into your vision,
to force you to see me.

I hate that I’m an inconvenience.
I hate that I could be a problem.
I hate that I cause offense.
But please, please see me.

I need to be loud.
I need to be heard.
I need to be seen.
Please—
just see me.

I’m sorry to ruin your day.
I’m hurting too.
****.
I hate myself.
I might do it.
I might finally show you.

My last laugh:
the silence shatters.
I will finally be remembered.
You can’t ignore this.

i want to cut again
make pretty little lines
i want to take the razor
and make it my demise

i want to cut again
watch the red pour
i want to cut my legs
behind a closed door

see, i used ro cut daily
before my friends found out
i made another promise
"what was that about?"

my parents used to yell at me
my friends used to try
the worst reaction that i got
was seeing Moonbeam cry

i want to cut again
now that moon is gone
i want to hurt again
its really been too long.

i wanted you like a Pepsi
just one Pepsi
not quite suicidal
but watch me display tendencies

those who seek flame see fires everywhere,
one's lifebuoy's but an anchor to the sinking.
where there's a fear of dark, there's fear of blinking,
for even momentary blindness makes you lose the way.

so many things were tempered with to always keep us scared,
on edge and waiting for the blade to drop when we're not thinking.
one's lifebuoy's but an anchor to the sinking,
those who seek flame see fires everywhere.

everything has been okay
everyone has been kind
so why is it that i find comfort in hurting myself

my family is great
i have wonderful friends
in fact the only thing disrupting my life is me
but it’s all fine at the end of the day

but why is it that
here and there and then again
that i find myself wishing an end

an end not to the happiness
but me

you're being irrational
you aren't being bullied
your parents are loving and caring... for the most part
you have lots of friends
you're "normal"
you're pretty
and you're privileged
and you have a lot
your friends have it way worse
you're overreacting