Im in bed
My face red
My eyes puffy
But my sorrows spoken of with my mother
The lights above my bed
Dangling
Like i feel
Like i do
Tears dried and teeth brushed
I wish for sleep to come

Loyalty doesn’t run through our blood
No matter how many times i stick the needle in my arm
I’ll never be able to be loyal to you Mother.
I’m not the perfect daughter
That truth was sealed when you gave me up.
Now look at you.
Trying to come back.
Trying to act like you didnt miss your chance
That ship sailed when you broke my bones and when you tried to **** me
Im no longer a child but you dont even know it
Im my own woman and i didnt need you to find my way
So take your knives and your guns
Your opinions and your money and just go
Get out of my life.
Stay gone for good
I dont love you. I never did
How could i when you never took the time to actually be a mother.

Like living with a monkey,
monkey see monkey do,
Being distracted with everything,
Even when there's nothing.

Like having a hidden malicious hand,
Loves playing hide and seek,
Items seem to dissappear,
As if they were warped to another world,
By a magical hand in your head.

Like having thousands of voices pleading for your attention,
Yet you hear none,
Just unintelligible sentences.

Like you're always on a pill of joy,
Yet feel so hollow,
It can be a double edged sword,
As your awareness of others' emotions,
Is comparable to an infant's knowledge of the Lorem Ipsum.

Like having your psyche torn apart,
A battlefield,
When you're fighting for control,
You lay waste to your own mind,
Even if you won,
The exhaustion and lack of motivation,
is a sign of a pyrrhic victory.