I asked what am I to do and you told me to write
About the heaviness
The emptiness
The way that all of this seems like it’s just too much to let go of
You see I’m holding on to so many things that I’m not even sure where to lay them all down
Lead me to the altar so that I may sacrifice my burdens
I wonder if you’d still love me if everything that makes me unlovable is my only offering
Can you honestly look at me in all of my unholiness or will you turn your face the other way
Bury my religion six feet under so it can not reach me and rip the honesty out of my hands
If everything has a purpose then maybe I need to find where the pain belongs and leave it there
If I knew I wouldn’t have all these ties tied so tight to my wrists it stops the circulation
And my hands are numb
When winter came and went it took my hands with it
And they lay in the ice with all of their ties intertwined between my fingers

                                                          -m.g.­

Paranoid dope dealer giving out samples for free
News lady says theres been another shooting spree
Gas station clerk
Grocery store bagger at work
Little old lady crossing the road clutching her purse
Traffic jam at 5
I bet he's got a dollar when I got a dime
He's got a meal when I got wine
He's got a wife and Im just a client
Paved revolution
Systematic execution
I heard today its 3 in 5 teenagers that are using

Headed for a change

Hookers work a street
In an empty beer glass the drunk weeps
Down and out gambler finally admits defeat
Violence
Turbulence
Ski mask
Armored vest
Some people aint even safe while they're sleeping in their own bed

Headed for a change

No time for rest
A mind racing no sleep
Days spent in the forrest
Cant find any peace
Were just drops in a bucket
Were just flies in a swarm
That swarm soon one day will be busting down their door
I wrote a letter to God but couldnt find any stamps
So I tied it to some balloons, let it go now only God knows where its at.

Not pen to paper nor digit to key,
but eye to eye and hand to hand,
with a firm grip on our reality.

With half-empty mouths and full-empty ears,
we understand that its has to be us
voicing our two converging histories.

Exploring what it is to be you,
what it is to be me
and what we two can be together
in the next chapter of our come-together
unfiltered, unashamed and unheard stories.

dilaw na dyaket ang suot mo noon
habang ako ay nananahimik
hindi makaimik
at pinagmamasdan ang bawat sinag ng dapithapon
na sinasala ng kinulayang bintana
kung saan ay sa aking mga mata na ngayon lamang nakakita ng ganda ay biglang napatunganga

dilaw na dyaket ang suot mo noon
at ang unang naitala
sa listahan ng mga napuna ng aking mga mata at biglang napatunganga na nga

nang dahil sa bawat tupi ng manggas
at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng dilaw na dyaket **** naisipang ipakita sa silid ng mga kaluluwa

mga kaluluwang akala ko ay mabibigyan kong buong pansin ngunit heto, napatitig na rin

ako'y napatitig na rin

napatitig sa dilaw na dyaket mo
at hindi ko mawari kung paano
pero ang dilaw na dyaket **** nakabalabal sa iyong kay liit na katawan ay humihila pababa sa iyong mga balikat
nakakibit
hindi man lang kayang mapaakyat ang iyong pagpapakalálo
napapaliit
ang tikas ng iyong pagkatao

hindi ko rin mawari kung paano
pero ang dilaw na dyaket mo ay para bang napabalabal na rin sa akin
at mula noon, ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng aking puso ay handa nang aminin na ikaw ay naging isang

anghel

ang dilaw na dyaket mo ay naging iyong halo
at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa nito ay naging mga pakpak mo at ikaw ay naging isang

anghel

ika'y naging
anghel sa aking isipan
marikit na imahe sa aking kaloob-looban
munting sigaw sa buong kalawakan
o, munting anghel ko, nais ko na sanang isigaw:
nakikita mo ba?
nakikita mo ba kung paano kita nakikita?
nakikita mo ba kung paano kita sinasamba?
nakikita mo ba kung paano kita sinisinta?

oo, sinisinta, dahil
munting anghel ko, o, mahal kita
mahal kita, o, munting anghel ko

mahal kita
at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng iyong pagkatao
mahal kita
at ayaw kong manatili ka lamang sa isipan ko
mahal kita
at nais kong ako ang magpabalabal sa iyong puso
at nais kong ako ay maging iyo

at nais kong mahalin mo rin ako

ngunit, o, munting anghel ko, natakot ako
natakot ako na
kung ilalahad ko ang lahat ng mga ligaw na alaala ko sa iyo
ay huhusgahan mo ako
kung hayaan kong buksan mo ang aking mga pinto
ay matatakot ka nang makita mo ang nilalaman nito
kung ipakita ko sa iyo ang lahat ng mga tupi ng manggas at mga kusot ng bulsa ng aking puso
ay magugulat ka at lilisanin mo ako

kaya heto, ang munting anghel ko ay nanatili sa isipan lamang
ang marikit na imahe ko ay nanirahan sa kaloob-looban lamang

ang munting sigaw ko ay naging bulong lamang
isang bulong na nagsasabing:
o, munting anghel ko, mahal kita,
o, munting anghel ko, pangarap kita,
ngunit, o, munting anghel ko, natatakot akong sa piling mo'y ako'y madulas
at tuluyang mawala ka.

maroon na dyaket ang suot mo kanina
noong ako ay naarawan ng sikat ng umaga
at ng tawa ng ilang mga kahalubilo't kasama
at naroon sa gitna ng aking sariling mga tawa ay nakita kita
ngunit may kasamang iba

at siya'y ika'y inakbayan
at ika'y siya'y nginitian
at ako'y napaisip nang biglaan
kayo ba?
kayo ba?
kayo ba?

napakwento ang kaibigan ko:
alam mo ba,
ganun na nga
sila na
magdadalawang-linggo na.

hindi naman sa nasaktan ako
pero parang ganoon na nga.

hindi naman sa napatigil bigla ang tibok ng puso ko
pero parang ganoon na nga.

hindi naman sa nadurog ako nang mapansin ko na ang sukat ng maroon na dyaket mo ay mas sakto sa iyo at hindi niya nahihila pababa ang iyong buong pagkatao at siguro ito ay dahil siya ang kasama mo at hindi ako kaya para bang siya na ang nakabalabal sa iyong puso at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng kaniyang puso ay napaibig na sa iyo—

pero parang ganoon na nga.

ganoon na nga
dahil kayo na nga

kayo na
kayo na
kayo na.

ganoon na nga
dahil siya ang kasama mo

hindi ako
hindi ako
hindi ako.

siguro kung hindi ako natakot

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na ilahad ang lahat ng mga ligaw na alaala ko sa iyo
ay hindi ka na mananatili lamang sa isipan ko

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na hayaang buksan mo ang aking mga pinto
ay mapapabalabal ko na ang iyong puso

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na ipakita ang lahat ng mga tupi ng manggas at mga kusot ng bulsa ng aking puso
ay ako na'y magiging iyo

siguro kung hindi ako natakot na madulas sa piling mo
ay mamahalin mo na rin ako

ngunit ayan na nga, o, munting anghel ko, natakot ako
at ayan na nga, o, munting anghel ko,
lahat ng ito ay hindi ko na nasabi sa iyo
at ayan na nga, o, munting anghel ko,

baka tuluyan nang mawala ang dilaw na dyaket mo sa buhay ko

maroon na dyaket na ang suot mo
ngunit ang dilaw na dyaket mo pa rin ang nakatatak sa isipan ko
at ang bawat tupi ng manggas at bawat kusot ng bulsa ng dilaw na dyaket mo ay nakabalabal pa rin sa aking puso

aking puso na nadurog, at patuloy na nadudurog hanggang ngayon
nang dahil sa dilaw na dyaket na suot mo noon

dahil sa dilaw na dyaket na suot na ng iba ngayon

i think i was made, already broken
know every word that goes unspoken
keep it inside like holding the smoke in
choke on the words, and you'll be awoken

I wander through the city,
skipping every crack.


It never feels as real,
hearing it from your lips.

When you write it,
I’m elated.
It’s warm honey daubing
crusty sourdough
as I sip a cup of joe
and gaze out the window
at the ocean mist
under a toasty sunset.

Yet, when I listen to you speak,
hear your tone
as I gaze into your eyes,
the glow just isn’t there.

I want to believe
you have just lost it,
but I really can’t remember.


I stop to scrape gum off my sole.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet

1.) Stuff the words on the tip of your tongue back into your mouth and face forward. If you shout from your seat in your truck to a pretty girl, remember: she’s not a dog. But, you of course may forget that.
2.) If you see a girl walk faster than before don’t take that as a sign to continue shouting until she stops and turns to the sound of the words that she hears more than genuine compliments.
3.) If you see a girl walking by herself walk and do not stop to talk to her or follow her
4.) do not sharpen your knives and sweet words or else she'll use them against you

— it only takes one more muscle to bite you and smile red // a.

This assignment is the worst.
Let me tell you how I spent the past few days contemplating whether or not I had ever truly loved.
Let me tell you how I tried to spin strangers into metaphors-
Likening their veins to spiderwebs and eyes to oceans and cringing at the sound of a language I had abused into making meaning out of things that didn't really matter.
Now I know you said, "love doesn't have to be romantic."
It can be platonic like Batman and Robin or bordering animosity like Doofenshmirtz and Perry the Platypus, but I know that's not what people want to hear,
And as a person who lends her ear to the universe and knows that even the Big Bang could dissipate into a whisper amidst all this noise, I wanted to be worth listening to.
I wanted to tell a great love story, but I cannot even begin to fathom what it means to open up your heart wholly and freely-
To tell the castle guards to pull down the drawbridge and cross over to the other side.
The weather must be nice out there.
Perhaps the sun is so warm it could kiss your skin, and the wind so full of life it could carry you away if you let it.
If you let it breathe it could bring you to your knees, and isn't that what love is supposed to do?
Send you chasing hurricanes, turn your world upside down, make you question whether or not a God exists because love is a force of nature- good or bad, for better or for worse.
If love is the square root of all feeling, then to feel at all must be to love.
But I am just a girl living in a hollow house trying to fathom the paradox of feeling numb, as the storm rages outside.
Let the raindrops pitter patter on.
Let the clouds rumble.
If I close my eyes, I can almost imagine-
This is the sound of footsteps.
Someone is knocking at the door.
All I need to do
is let them in.